Mika Tells Instinct, “Yeah, I’m gay.”

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Originally Posted by nas

i dunno about biphobia being being more common but it is DEFINITELY alive and kickin! this is why i facepalmed a bit when this article teaser came out with this headline because he's unwittingly just 'proved' what so many bi-deniers thought: that there's no such thing as bisexuality...

Exactly! And then I felt silly because of coooourse I'm terribly happy for him. I was there at Heaven and he seamed so thoroughly happy, and then, when telling us about TOOL, so thoroughly nervous. Wish for him that from now on he will only be that happy

[tiibet]

Originally Posted by Yuna

You're a good mother. when I become a mother, I'll do like that too

Originally Posted by flyingkites

I agree with Yuna - it's great that you can discuss these things so openly with your children. You really are a great mum.

I don't think it's anything to do with me, because my first born has always wanted to discuss about _everything_ in the world (and he can also understand things very well) so it has just happened. I guess I'm quite liberal though.

[flyingkites]

Originally Posted by NowTheDreamsWontDo

I'd like to cut in with something that I personally feel very strongly, but that none of you (if I'm not mistaken) have mentioned: that biphobia is actually more alive than homophobia in "our" culture. I used to explain to people (as I am apparently the "gay expert" in the family whahaha ), especially my mother, that Mika's songs don't actually scream "gay" to me as they scream "bisexual" and that I was thus not surprised when he came out as such a few years ago. Anyways, my mother replied that there is no such this as actually being bisexual: it is just a way to either keeping everybody (the fans) happy, or being too scared to come out properly, as gay. Silly thing is, she is not at all homophobic. In fact, she asked me whether I was gay when I was 10 years old and won't take no for an answer, even now I'm 22 years old. And my father's opinion... well let's say his idea of being bisexual is the slutty Katy Perry kind.

I've actually been debating coming out as a lesbian since Heaven & this interview, just to be "ahead of the facts" LOL. Parents don't believe me when I tell them, in my mind truthfully, that I'm not gay, in the first place

Good point. I actually have a somewhat similar experience with my mother: she doesn't think there's anything wrong with being gay but to her, bisexuality is somehow a bad thing. I don't want to repeat her exact words as I found them very offending but she basically finds bisexuals sex-crazed. Needless to say I silently shook my head and couldn't help but think "if only you knew about your daughter".

[Sephira]

Originally Posted by NowTheDreamsWontDo

I'd like to cut in with something that I personally feel very strongly, but that none of you (if I'm not mistaken) have mentioned: that biphobia is actually more alive than homophobia in "our" culture. I used to explain to people (as I am apparently the "gay expert" in the family whahaha ), especially my mother, that Mika's songs don't actually scream "gay" to me as they scream "bisexual" and that I was thus not surprised when he came out as such a few years ago. Anyways, my mother replied that there is no such this as actually being bisexual: it is just a way to either keeping everybody (the fans) happy, or being too scared to come out properly, as gay. Silly thing is, she is not at all homophobic. In fact, she asked me whether I was gay when I was 10 years old and won't take no for an answer, even now I'm 22 years old. And my father's opinion... well let's say his idea of being bisexual is the slutty Katy Perry kind.

I've actually been debating coming out as a lesbian since Heaven & this interview, just to be "ahead of the facts" LOL. Parents don't believe me when I tell them, in my mind truthfully, that I'm not gay, in the first place

I saw a lot of unpleasant comments about bisexuality, saying that it does not exist that is an excuse for not wanting homosexuals to their coming out as gay. And those added "bi now gay tomorrow". I found it shocking and more shocking is that people who wrote these things were on a community blog BGLT

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Originally Posted by flyingkites

Good point. I actually have a somewhat similar experience with my mother: she doesn't think there's anything wrong with being gay but to her, bisexuality is somehow a bad thing. I don't want to repeat her exact words as I found them very offending but she basically finds bisexuals sex-crazed. Needless to say I silently shook my head and couldn't help but think "if only you knew about your daughter".

Suppose we'll have to prove them the opposite? But yeah, I get the reaction. Remember one of the first people I told saying (without meaning to insult me as well): Oooh, so you butter your bread on both sides? And I was thinking, have you met me? I don't butter my bread whatsoever XD

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Originally Posted by Sephira

I saw a lot of unpleasant comments about bisexuality, saying that it does not exist that is an excuse for not wanting homosexuals to their coming out as gay. And those added "bi now gay tomorrow". I found it shocking and more shocking is that people who wrote these things were on a community blog BGLT

Yeah, amazing how the LGT community can be sooo understaaandiiing sometimes

[flyingkites]

Originally Posted by Sephira

I saw a lot of unpleasant comments about bisexuality, saying that it does not exist that is an excuse for not wanting homosexuals to their coming out as gay. And those added "bi now gay tomorrow". I found it shocking and more shocking is that people who wrote these things were on a community blog BGLT

I talked about this on the gay thread once. It's ridiculous how, even inside their own community, some people feel the need to judge others and question their sincerity. LGBT people are a minority and to me, the ideal situation would be that they could all support each other instead of wondering whether someone is actually gay or bi.

Originally Posted by NowTheDreamsWontDo

Suppose we'll have to prove them the opposite? But yeah, I get the reaction. Remember one of the first people I told saying (without meaning to insult me as well): Oooh, so you butter your bread on both sides? And I was thinking, have you met me? I don't butter my bread whatsoever XD

Best comeback ever!

You're right, there is a need to prove people wrong when it comes to bisexuality. Some just don't seem to understand that there's a lot more than sex when it comes to being attracted to someone - romantic feelings are involved too.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Originally Posted by flyingkites

I talked about this on the gay thread once. It's ridiculous how, even inside their own community, some people feel the need to judge others and question their sincerity. LGBT people are a minority and to me, the ideal situation would be that they could all support each other instead of wondering whether someone is actually gay or bi.



Best comeback ever!

You're right, there is a need to prove people wrong when it comes to bisexuality. Some just don't seem to understand that there's a lot more than sex when it comes to being attracted to someone - romantic feelings are involved too.

Why thank you I try not to think about it too much, but some more support always helps Besides, I understand people like my best friend who I havent known for that long and who doesnt understand how Im calling myself bi even though in the time Ive known her, Ive fancoed only one guy and hes gay so yeah... haha. Anyways I do see that as well.

[mellody]

Originally Posted by suzie

oh really? So which part of my post is 'wrong' then since I don't think having gay role models and educating people are mutually exclusive. What I found illogical was to encourage 'educating people' about this topic yet shying away from meeting gay people in real life.

ok sorry then maybe i understood your post wrong. i was referring to what you said that people only learn from real life and not from books. my point was that some people who were brought up hating homosexuality will just avoid any contact with gays, and if they can't, they might even become aggressive. which is probably mainly fear of the unknown. so in those cases i'd think it'd be better to educate those people first, before confronting them in real life. it's only theory anyway though, because of course i think that anyone who's gay should be able to say it if they want to, without having to fear any rejection because of it. and there of course you're right that every openly gay person helps to achieve this.


sabine, tbh i don't think guido westerwelle's career went downhill because he's gay or married a man, but just because he isn't a good politician. actually not just him but also the party he belongs to is a joke meanwhile. too many people in that party made too many mistakes. personally, i never really liked westerwelle but of course that has nothing to do with his sexual orientation.

[Christine]

If Mika had been more unequivocal about bisexuality people would have been more inclined to take it at face value. I certainly would have. He just never made a definitive statement. He spent years claiming that he didn't want to labeled because of his music and then he sort of twisted that to try to imply that he didn't like labels because they couldn't describe his sexual orientation accurately. It didn't seem credible to me. If you don't want to talk about it, don't talk about it. But if you do you need to be clear or people are not going to believe it.

Anyway I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. For all we know Mika said "If you ask me am I bisexual, I say yeah too" immediately afterwards and went into another spiel about how there really are no labels for him.

I really wish he would do these interviews by video or make a statement in his own words as Anderson Cooper did. He's not doing himself any favours by allowing misleading information to float around for years. This teaser claims the bisexual story was "disappointing" but he obviously did nothing to clear it up for the past 3 years. The subsequent statements he apparently made were just as misleading.

In other words I don't think you can pin all the blame on biphobia.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Oh, I never intended to pin it all on biphobia. I was just saying that I think coming out as bisexual when you are really gay is completely illogical, not only for the reasons you had already mentioned, but for this one as well. What you say about not quite believing him... I dont know really. I just dont think that whatever he could have said to clear things up, would actually have cleared things up. Is there anything else to say than "sexuality is messy" to begin with? And first, Id say, everyone would have to agree on the same definition for bisexuality. Is it just love or do atrractions count as well?

[DerMoment1608]

Originally Posted by mellody

sabine, tbh i don't think guido westerwelle's career went downhill because he's gay or married a man, but just because he isn't a good politician. actually not just him but also the party he belongs to is a joke meanwhile. too many people in that party made too many mistakes. personally, i never really liked westerwelle but of course that has nothing to do with his sexual orientation.

I wanted to answer about Westerwelle as well, but mellody already wrote everything I wanted to say The reason that he and his party aren't popular anymore is most of all political, not sexual-orientation-related to my mind.

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@books and role models
I just wanted to add that role models may be able to have more "power". I think that it's important to educate people, even more if they already have prejudices and it should be part of school education. But if a lot of people are out than it maybe won't be needed to change their opinion, because they will have a homosexual-friendly opinion from the start.

If little children are growing up and the see LGBT people that are living the same way as heterosexual ones in TV, in their neighbourhood, in their family... than the believing that it is something not normal won't develop. And I think it has more impact to see it in your everyday life all the time for developing an opinion about something. For example 100 year ago it was seen as wrong if people would live together as a couple without marrying. Now no child would thing that there is something wrong with that because it sees form day one that a lot of people are living that way. Or trousers for women. Impossible 100 years ago, but totally normal today.

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Btw, does somebody know when the September issue of the magazine will come out?