Report inappropriate behaviour

[Mika4Life13]

True... unfortuntely some people won't talk about it in PMs, and continue to do it on thread...

 

That's probably when you need to talk to a mod...

 

 

 

*bows to Deano for writing it and Freddie for posting it*

 

 

 

See... we don't bite!

 

Hard...

 

 

 

 

*bows to HK*

 

 

 

OOOOOH! I likes it Wendi!

 

Would you mind if I put it in my sig? *puppy dog eyes*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[sariflor]

Im not saying the forum is bad by any means .. but why are so many high posting regulars not here .. ESPECIALLY as we are official

The answer is sad

I don't know, maybe because they got tired of it?

Or they are busy?

Or they have other things that are their priority right now?

Or because their husband is sick?

Or their kids busy with school?

Or because they changed jobs and now they have less chances to get online?

Or because their internet is broken?

Or they can't afford internet?

Or their pc broke?

Or because they are newly in lurrve and spend their time joined at the hip with their new BF?

Or because their other half got a bit tired of months of "neglect" and has asked them to spend more time with them?

Maybe because they don't really like the idea of being official?

Maybe because their friends are gone?

Maybe because they don't like Mika anymore?

Maybe because they don't like the mods or the admins?

Maybe they developed an allergy towards orange? Sorry, pumpkin.

Could be a 1000 reasons. Do I know?No. Do you? Probably not...Or probably not for every person who left.

Fact is: unless all those people say it, we won't know. And making assumptions and voicing opinions won't help anyone, and even less the MFC.

I know that the reason for posts or threads like this (not that I'm singling you out FD, I just used your post as one I could reply to) is to help matters, for the good of the MFC, etc...but I have the feeling that these posts and these threads only cause the opposite.

IMO issues are isolated and minor (and I've also been at the receiving end of abusive pms or hostility so I think I can speak), and they can be dealt with as isolated incidents that they are.

Real life is like that, and like many have said, this forum is made up of many "real" people, who will disagree, and invariably fight sometimes. Such is life. We can't make this place the Philadelphia cheese ad.

Making all this such a big deal only causes (IMO again:wink2: ) things to be blown out of proportion and to make everyone feel like they're treading on eggshells.

Why are people being randomly accused of stirring things up when they are simply making a joke with a few friends?

Why do many feel that they are not free to speak their minds, if they are not offending or insulting anyone?

Quite frankly, I think that saying that people are walking because of the atmosphere is being overly simplistic and won't help anything.

If anything, all these tensions will make more people leave, as they will feel like they are restricted and not allowed to say anything.

This place used to be fun, and for me it actually was until this thread popped up.

Actually cancel that; I intend on keeping it fun for myself. If I'm allowed of course:bleh: .

[Starrats]

I'm so glad that some of you understand:blush-anim-cl:

Thank youuu!

 

No thank you

I thought it was just me, (and thinking that I was doing something wrong), but now I know that it's true

[babspanky]

Ok, I feel like adding something to this discussing. I usually don't say much and my posts are generally not known to be extremely long. I just want to say that I've been having a lot of fun in here for almost a year now and I hope that this fun will go on a bit longer. I also understand that there are a large number of younglings who should be in a way protected. What I don't understand though is the complaint about cliques. I mean like in real life you don't get along with everyone and you automatically stick to the people that share your sense of humour or whatever. Its the same in here. There are some threads where various members post and where others are always welcome. There are however also the threads where only certain people tend to go. If it was not for the existence of one of these threads I guess I wouldn't be here. And I also think that anyone is welcome in the, what was called "inside-joke-threads" if they just ask what the joke is about. If they can then kind of identify with the content of the thread there is no need to leave it again .

Of course I think it is quite rude to be ignored in a thread. I belong to those who almost never get a reply. I actually don't know why but that's ok. Then I just stop posting there and go somewhere else because I think when people don't want to talk to me they must have their reasons and why bother them longer .

I still have the impression that this forum as such is a friendly place and I also think that the forum should somehow resemble real life. There isn't always happiness and friendliness in real life. If we try to be friendly and nice all the time we might even get more aggressive . Of course I don't think that bullying is in any way ok. It should be observed and reported if it gets too severe. But if anyone feels offended by a post I would suggest that this person leaves the computer for a few minutes and tries to re-read the possibly offensive post again after a certain time. Maybe it already looks different then. If everyone starts to complain immediately it will all result in a kind of kindergarden "he has stolen my toy" atmosphere and I guess no one really wants that.

I think this is the longest post I have ever written but I felt the need to say something .

 

I saw your name at the top of this post H and had to look again! You're right, like me you don't usually post at length.

I like the way you put things and agree with all of it. But I would, wouldn't I.

[babspanky]

[Actually cancel that; I intend on keeping it fun for myself. If I'm allowed of course:bleh: .

 

Sari, I don't want to quote another long post, but again, common sense reigns.

Especially the last sentence.

[im_stuck_in_the_middle]

No thank you

I thought it was just me, (and thinking that I was doing something wrong), but now I know that it's true

yeah it's not just us... some of us might still be considered "newbies" by some users, but newbies also deserve much respect:thumb_yello:

 

Some people just need to remember that being ignored is NOT, in any way, fun or amusing. And I'm feeling at the mo that if these people haven't been victims of such abuse, then they don't understand the importance of having created this thread, and should't be arguing that it's wrong or that it shouldn't exist:thumbdown:

 

Thank you for reaching out and voicing your opinion:blush-anim-cl:

 

And thanks Diana, again, for creating the thread most needed in MFC history:blush-anim-cl:

 

Madalena xx

[sariflor]

No thank you

I thought it was just me, (and thinking that I was doing something wrong), but now I know that it's true

 

Rats/hamsters/gerbils are cute and don't do bad things.

[Diana]

I know that the reason for posts or threads like this (not that I'm singling you out FD, I just used your post as one I could reply to) is to help matters, for the good of the MFC, etc...but I have the feeling that these posts and these threads only cause the opposite.

IMO issues are isolated and minor (and I've also been at the receiving end of abusive pms or hostility so I think I can speak), and they can be dealt with as isolated incidents that they are.

Real life is like that, and like many have said, this forum is made up of many "real" people, who will disagree, and invariably fight sometimes. Such is life. We can't make this place the Philadelphia cheese ad.

Making all this such a big deal only causes (IMO again:wink2: ) things to be blown out of proportion and to make everyone feel like they're treading on eggshells.

 

We wouldn't make a thread like this if we didn't feel it was necessary.

Two threads about the same subject have popped up in a very short period of time.

People feel the atmosphere here has changed and they even speak of things as severe as bullying.

 

It's all a case of perception therefore we can't say "oh it's not that bad" because even though you might see it that way, others don't and feel it's a serious problem.

 

Again, the purpose of this thread is not to blow things out of proportion or stir things up.

We're acting on the concern that a lot of people have about the atmosphere on this board.

We can't do anything to change it in a positive way if we don't see everything that goes on here. It's a huge board and reading every single new post is nearly impossible so we need your help.

We're not asking you to actively seek out abusive posts or over-analyze every single word in case something in there could possibly be offensive.

 

All we're asking is when you do happen to come accross something that you find offensive, to report it.

[stephaniedy2k1]

What I notice a lot is that a few threads are what I would classify as "VIP threads"- because only certain users are expected to chat on them. Nothing wrong with that, I think, but if a new user of that thread presents themself, their posts shouldn't be ignored. I have experienced such a thing on one or two threads, being ignored, and I'm sure that it wasn't because someone missed my posts. Don't want to mention any names at the mo. Only when I finally stood up and wrote in HUGE writing what I meant, someone answered me. But that was because I stood up. Some users are shy or newbies, and don't know what to do if such a situation occurs.

 

Thank you so much for this sticky, Diana:wub2:

 

Peace:thumb_yello:

 

Madalena/ ISITM

 

This is something that i have noticed too, certainly as a new member it is quite hard sometimes to get yourself heard.

[stephaniedy2k1]

yeah it's not just us... some of us might still be considered "newbies" by some users, but newbies also deserve much respect:thumb_yello:

 

Some people just need to remember that being ignored is NOT, in any way, fun or amusing. And I'm feeling at the mo that if these people haven't been victims of such abuse, then they don't understand the importance of having created this thread, and should't be arguing that it's wrong or that it shouldn't exist:thumbdown:

 

Thank you for reaching out and voicing your opinion:blush-anim-cl:

 

And thanks Diana, again, for creating the thread most needed in MFC history

Madalena xx

 

I still have the impression that this forum as such is a friendly place and I also think that the forum should somehow resemble real life. There isn't always happiness and friendliness in real life. If we try to be friendly and nice all the time we might even get more aggressive . Of course I don't think that bullying is in any way ok. It should be observed and reported if it gets too severe. But if anyone feels offended by a post I would suggest that this person leaves the computer for a few minutes and tries to re-read the possibly offensive post again after a certain time. Maybe it already looks different then. If everyone starts to complain immediately it will all result in a kind of kindergarden "he has stolen my toy" atmosphere and I guess no one really wants that.

I think this is the longest post I have ever written but I felt the need to say something .

 

 

 

I agree:thumb_yello:

[sariflor]

We wouldn't make a thread like this if we didn't feel it was necessary.

Two threads about the same subject have popped up in a very short period of time.

People feel the atmosphere here has changed and they even speak of things as severe as bullying.

 

It's all a case of perception therefore we can't say "oh it's not that bad" because even though you might see it that way, others don't and feel it's a serious problem.

 

Again, the purpose of this thread is not to blow things out of proportion or stir things up.

We're acting on the concern that a lot of people have about the atmosphere on this board.

We can't do anything to change it in a positive way if we don't see everything that goes on here. It's a huge board and reading every single new post is nearly impossible so we need your help.

We're not asking you to actively seek out abusive posts or over-analyze every single word in case something in there could possibly be offensive.

 

All we're asking is when you do happen to come accross something that you find offensive, to report it.

 

 

I'm replying to this post, but to be honest I could have replied to a few others, this one was just the last one that caught my eye:naughty: .

What I'm trying to put across is that, if I'm not misunderstanding, a few of the "abusive" behaviours that have been mentioned here were things like being "ignored" in a thread, or people being "cliquey", people "feeling like in school again" and things like that.

In someone's post (I honestly forgot whose) a person even called being ignored in a thread "abuse". I personally think that this is a bit of an over statement. If we start considering things like that abuse, then I think we've totally lost our grip on reality.

To me, that is just life.

The MFC is like RL, therefore we will find situations that resemble life.

Is that bad, I ask? It's just reality. And people need to deal with it in the same way that they deal with real life...

Of course this is different from someone really being bullied and victimised, which I find atrocious and could never justify, but I don't think that the type of behaviours mentioned here fit that description.

[Diana]

What I'm trying to put across is that, if I'm not misunderstanding, a few of the "abusive" behaviours that have been mentioned here were things like being "ignored" in a thread, or people being "cliquey", people "feeling like in school again" and things like that.

 

Of course this is different from someone really being bullied and victimised, which I find atrocious and could never justify, but I don't think that the type of behaviours mentioned here fit that description.

 

I know some people have talked about cliques in here but those were general replies to the opening post of Pinkunicorn's thread that sparked this topic.

Or at least I think they were.

 

Cliques are only natural as the relationships between people evolve and you find likeminded members that you get close with.

Reporting cliques is not at all the aim of this thread, we don't feel they should be forbidden or anything to that extent. So don't worry, we don't think that is abusive by any means.

 

This is purely a thread to request people to report abusive post and to point you in the direction of the people to contact about it.

[dcdeb]

I've been thinking about all this... and the forum in general, a lot over the last 24 hours... I'm going to respond to Sariflor's post, not meaning to

single you out Sara -- just that you've made points that I'd like to

address. So if I say "YOU", I don't mean YOU SARA -- I'll try not to do that... I mean, people in general --

 

Real life is like that, and like many have said, this forum is made up of many "real" people, who will disagree, and invariably fight sometimes. Such is life. We can't make this place the Philadelphia cheese ad.

 

Actually, I don't think anyone wants this place to be bland and boring and sweetness

and light all the time. If we did, there would be things like passwords to

exclude people and there would be

a LOT more bannings whenever anyone "stepped

out of line." This place is a reflection of real life. I think people

are very free to say what they want most of the time

-- it just seems to me that certain

people get upset when others tell them they don't like what they're

saying. If you want the freedom to say what you like, then you have

to expect that other people are going to say what they like right

back at you, right?

 

Making all this such a big deal only causes (IMO again:wink2: ) things to be blown out of proportion and to make everyone feel like they're treading on eggshells.

 

Well, as Diana says in her post:

We wouldn't make a thread like this if we didn't feel it was necessary.

Two threads about the same subject have popped up in a very short period of time.

People feel the atmosphere here has changed and they even speak of things as severe as bullying.

 

It's all a case of perception therefore we can't say "oh it's not that bad" because even though you might see it that way, others don't and feel it's a serious problem.

 

It may not seem like such a big deal to some, but to others it

does seem like a very big deal. Everyone likes to be heard... we're

trying to "hear" what the latter group has to say.

 

Why are people being randomly accused of stirring things up when they are simply making a joke with a few friends?

 

I don't know of anyone being "randomly" accused of anything. People

have complained about certain things and we've tried to address

those concerns. It's not like we've gotten one complaint from one

person about another person. There have been a string of complaints

about particular things. And we, at least, *I* haven't accused anyone

of anything in

public -- I'm not perfect, but I do try to work things out in private, discreetly, and with respect for all parties.

 

Why do many feel that they are not free to speak their minds, if they are not offending or insulting anyone?

 

I don't know. Why would they feel that way? If they are truly not

offending or insulting anyone, they *shouldn't* feel that way.

 

Actually cancel that; I intend on keeping it fun for myself. If I'm allowed of course:bleh: .

 

Well, I'm not going to stop you. (And this time I do mean YOU SARA )

OK... maybe if someone is having fun at

someone else's expense -- then, yes... you might be stopped.

 

But otherwise, let the party continue! The Brits will be

on soon, right?

 

dcdeb

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

I don't know, maybe because they got tired of it?

Or they are busy?

Or they have other things that are their priority right now?

Or because their husband is sick?

Or their kids busy with school?

Or because they changed jobs and now they have less chances to get online?

Or because their internet is broken?

Or they can't afford internet?

Or their pc broke?

Or because they are newly in lurrve and spend their time joined at the hip with their new BF?

Or because their other half got a bit tired of months of "neglect" and has asked them to spend more time with them?

Maybe because they don't really like the idea of being official?

Maybe because their friends are gone?

Maybe because they don't like Mika anymore?

Maybe because they don't like the mods or the admins?

Maybe they developed an allergy towards orange? Sorry, pumpkin.

Could be a 1000 reasons. Do I know?No. Do you? Probably not...Or probably not for every person who left.

Fact is: unless all those people say it, we won't know. And making assumptions and voicing opinions won't help anyone, and even less the MFC.

I know that the reason for posts or threads like this (not that I'm singling you out FD, I just used your post as one I could reply to) is to help matters, for the good of the MFC, etc...but I have the feeling that these posts and these threads only cause the opposite.

IMO issues are isolated and minor (and I've also been at the receiving end of abusive pms or hostility so I think I can speak), and they can be dealt with as isolated incidents that they are.

Real life is like that, and like many have said, this forum is made up of many "real" people, who will disagree, and invariably fight sometimes. Such is life. We can't make this place the Philadelphia cheese ad.

Making all this such a big deal only causes (IMO again:wink2: ) things to be blown out of proportion and to make everyone feel like they're treading on eggshells.

Why are people being randomly accused of stirring things up when they are simply making a joke with a few friends?

Why do many feel that they are not free to speak their minds, if they are not offending or insulting anyone?

Quite frankly, I think that saying that people are walking because of the atmosphere is being overly simplistic and won't help anything.

If anything, all these tensions will make more people leave, as they will feel like they are restricted and not allowed to say anything.

This place used to be fun, and for me it actually was until this thread popped up.

Actually cancel that; I intend on keeping it fun for myself. If I'm allowed of course:bleh: .

 

Youve missed one key word .....

 

I know people have left ..... as the MFC is less friendly .. fact

 

And I know as they usually come to be and tell me they are leaving , in the earlier days some of those reasons did happen ... and Id be okkk youve moved on , orrr family issues BUT now .. they are all due to the MFC being less friendly

 

I always speak from a postition of information , please dont be sarcastic with me

[happikali]

Thank you Deb ..... for all the time you took to consider all of this ......

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

Thank you Deb ..... for all the time you took to consider all of this ......

 

Thanks DC ....

 

Making it a fun and friendly place ... xx

[im_stuck_in_the_middle]

This is something that i have noticed too, certainly as a new member it is quite hard sometimes to get yourself heard.

Well, newbies must make clear that they are to be treated as everyone else, and that it's not only newbies who are being treated this way.

If this happens again, report the offensive or ignoring post, or write in obvious writing, like this:

 

UH... HELLO?!?

 

Then they'll HAVE to answer you, in one way or another:wink2:

 

Peace, Lena

[Mika4Life13]

Everyone in here, has really great points and I think if i even tried to think up something half as smart as those....you'd all be offended I am not a word genius. LOL.

[im_stuck_in_the_middle]

Everyone in here, has really great points and I think if i even tried to think up something half as smart as those....you'd all be offended I am not a word genius. LOL.

yes you are:mf_rosetinted:

 

 

[Mika4Life13]

yes you are:mf_rosetinted:

 

 

LIES. lmao jk.

[im_stuck_in_the_middle]

LIES. lmao jk.

me is BIIIG liar, oh yes:mf_rosetinted:

 

 

[melaniejazmin]

I don't have any problem with somene,

but if it happens I know what to do now

thanks

[DarkLight]

well that's all good to know:thumb_yello:

 

One thing I LOVE about this forum & what has made me stay here so long & post as much as I do is the fact that most of the time it's a friendly place only a couple of times have i felt a bit bugged by what someone has said to me but it wasn't horrendous or what I'd call major bullying just minor stupid stuff that I let blow over my head.

 

I was for 3 & a half years a member of the derren brown fan forum & Oh my goodness you should see the place it IS vile & horrendous people are so nasty on there you would NOT believe it, it's ever so sad as I absolutely adore Derren & now I can't chat on the forum without being viciously picked on all the time

 

The mods on there don't do flip all about it & even soemtimes join in with the nastiness so i've left there

 

believe me this forum is fantastic by comparison:thumb_yello:

 

the only way to describe the derren brown fan forum is a living hell online

 

may the mfc continue to be what it is & NOT go the same way as the dbff that'd be just tragic:thumbdown:

[superstar]

 

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/member.php?u=16149

[dcdeb]

 

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/member.php?u=16149

 

Yeah, seems to be a spammer. Thanks!