Introducing the MFC script writer: ME!

Okay, so some of you may have noticed some Mika/John/Jerry/Jerry's mum scripts floating around. Well, Sariflor, Danika and Greta and a few others appear to be some of my hardcore, adoring fans *tries to quieten down the screaming* lol and Sariflor suggested a do a thread so that they didn't miss any "chapters" xDD

 

So uh, here they are!

 

CHAPTER CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Page 1

Chapter 2: Page 1

Chapter 3: Page 1

Chapter 4: Page 1

Chapter 5: Page 1

Chapter 6: Page 6 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=6

Chapter 7: Page 9 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=9

Chapter 8: Page 13 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=13

Chapter 9: page 17 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=17

Chapter 10: Page 23 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=23

Chapter 11: Page 26 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=26

Chapter 12: Page 32 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=32

Chapter 13: Page 41 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=41

Chapter 14: Page 47 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=47

Chapter 15: Page 57 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=57

Chapter 16: Page 72 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=72

Chapter 17 (fanmade): Page 106 AND 107 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=106

Chapter 18: Page 115 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=115

Chapter 19 Part 1: Page 124

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1472973&posted=1#post1472973

Chapter 19 Part 2: Page 125

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=125

Chapter 20 Part 1: Page 136 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14337&page=136

Chapter 20 Part 2: Page 137 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1493559&posted=1#post1493559

Chapter 20 Part 3 + Epilogue: Page 138 http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1494430&posted=1#post1494430

 

 

 

Jerry: OMG how do you start a thread on the MFC? *computer explodes*

John: *sees Jerry's exploded computer* Jerry what the hell happened?

Jerry: I don't know, the MFC just kinda exploded on me.

John: I told you to disable your PM's you idiot.

Jerry: How do I do that?!

John:......Jerry, do you know how to work a forum?

Jerry: Um...

John: Wait, hold on. You can sort out all the MFC official stuff -

Jerry: -well not exactly, it's been two months-

John: -and you can't handle a forum?!

Jerry: ...can i tell you a secret?

John: sure.

Jerry: ...I can't read.

John: what the-?! Then how are you doing the MFC official stuff?

Jerry: *looks down and twiddles thumbs* My mommy is doing it for me...

John:

 

*we see Jerry's mum by a table writing things by hand on a looooooong sheet of paper*

 

 

John is walking into the office, blowing on his cup of tea but spills it all down him as he sees Jerry sitting by the desk, sparks flying out of the computer, and sees a clump of broken computers in the corner

 

John: JERRY! What the friggin hell is it this time?!?!?!

Jerry: *wails* I don't knooooow! I don't think the MFC like me...

John: *cocks an eyebrow*

Jerry: I don't know why....

 

John peers into another room where Jerry's mum is STILL working hard on the MFC officiality...

 

John: *rolls eyes*

 

Mika: get yerself to th' Butterfly lounge..*sees John and walks up to him, arms outstretched* FIND YERSELF A BIG LAY-DEE!!

John:

Mika: *starts shaking his bum at John* Big Boi come on round *does the sleazy face and points at John* and they'll be calling YOU babyyy!

John: *takes earphones out of Mika's ears* Not working on the second album I see.

Mika: *guilty face* I aaam...*puts i-Pod away*

John: Then why are you listening to your old material?

Mika: Because it's good!

John:

 

*awkward silence*

 

John: Did you know that Jerry can't read?

Mika: say what?

John: Jerry-can't-read.

Mika: So?

John: SO?! Do you know who's been working on the MFC's officiality?!

Mika: The MFC's what?

John: Oh wake up and smell the coffee Mika!

Mika: I don't smell any coffee...

John: sahfbwajegqiu3!!!!! Listen. Mika. The MFC is turning official, remember?

Mika: O.o it is? why? They're a bunch of total nutcases.

John: Don't you remember the petition book?!?!!?

Mika: THAT was to become official?!

John: YES!!! Didn't you read it?!?!

Mika: NO I'M DYSLEXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

john: =O

 

They can hear Jerry's mum screaming in the distance

 

Jerry's mum: DANG IT!!!!! *screws up paper*

John: what what what?!?! What is it?!?!

Jerry's mum: I did a spelling mistake!

John: ......couldn't you rub it out?!?!

Jerry's mum: No you dummy it was in pen!!!!!

Mika: Why is it getting written on paper?

John: Coz DUMBARSE in the office CAN'T USE THE BLIMMIN' MFC!!!!

 

They hear another explosion and Jerry cursing. Mika's tamagotchi bleeps.

 

Mika: Oops, it's past Zorro's feeding time! *fiddles with tamagotchi and goes to leave the room*

John: MIKA! This is your fanclub we're talking about! Aren't you gonna do something?!

Mika: There are some things more important than work. Feeding your tamagotchi is one of those things.*leaves*

John: *starts angrily muttering to himself*

 

A day has passed since the many incidents and John is feeling somewhat refreshed. He gets out of bed and goes towards the kitchen, but comes to a standstill as he notices the office door is shut, and can hear some commotion inside. He opens the door quietly...

 

Jerry: Mommy it's not working! I'm putting the paper on it but it's just not working! *stamps feet*

Jerry's mum: Maybe you have to be patient...it has a lot to scan after all...

 

John looks down and sees the end of the the long sheet of paper at his feet...his eyes trail forwards as the long sheet continues onwards and upwards, as the very beginning is on a scanner.

 

John:

Jerry: JOHN!! *squeals and jumps up and down excitedly* Thank God you're here! I don't know how on Earth to do this, I really don't. I mean, it's scanned THAT bit but it won't scan anymore-

John: Jerry -

Jerry: We even tried stuffing it all in but then the lid wouldn't shut -

John: Jerry -

Jerry: And we know it definitely works cos I stuck my bum on it earlier -

John: Jer- wha- EXCUSE ME?!

Jerry: I farted on it too, sorry. I thought it might capture the wind, but it didn't.

John: =O

Jerry: *sees John's face and panics* Uh! It wasn't my idea! It was Mika's! *points to the corner of the room where Mika is hiding behind a thin plastic tree. John's red eyes zoom in on Mika*

Mika: *comes out, laughs nervously and backs into a corner and John thunders nearer* How much do you love me?

John: Mika.

Mika: How much do you care?

John: Mika.

Mika: How much do you miss me when I'm not there?

John:

Mika: How much do you love me? How much do you care?

John: *steam starts coming out of his ears and nostrils*

Mika: How much do you need me when I'm not there?

John: I'm warning you, boy.

Mika: DO DO DO DODO, DO DO DO-

John: *thwack*

 

more to come!

i have seen them all but thought i would read them agains cuz they're so darn funny!!!

 

 

Later in the day, after John managed to buy a new scanner and got it sent to him that very day due to emergency reasons and having a Priest by the name of Johnny exorcise the room in which Jerry had farted in, John was in pretty good spirits. The computer was working, the scanner was new and better, Mika was away somewhere and Jerry had learned the alphabet. He approached the living room and flopped on the sofa accompanied with a huge, weight-lifting sigh and started to read the newspaper.

As he kept flipping the pages he kept hearing a small vibrating noise but thought nothing of it. He was skimming the pages when his eyes briefly met the name "MIKA". He flipped the page back in urgency and read the article. Apparently, Mika had gone to India to learn yoga and yogic flying, and had gone alone. John was shocked to learn of this, went to grab the phone but saw something out of the corner of his eye.

 

There was Mika, in tight, hot pink lycra leggings and a white tank top, complete with pink headband....legs crossed, eyes shut and...levitating.

 

 

John:

 

John rubbed his eyes in absolute shock and slowly approached the flying Mika, which was also where the vibrating noise was coming from. He tried to speak but words failed him. He even heard frequent crashes in the office no doubt created by Jerry, as his yells are clearly heard, but that did not distract him. Mika, who was meant to be in India, was flying in his living room.

 

John jumped back in shock as Mika's eyes opened. He smiled cheekily.

 

Mika: Whaddya think, John?

John: ...I....I....I'm not quite sure...

Mika: Ah come on, a little bit of Yogic flying isn't scary! *closes eyes again*

John: ...A little bit of what?

Mika: LITTLE BIT OF LOVE! Little bit of love, little bit of love...

John: MIKA.

Mika: Oh, right, sorry. I should be centered, calm...huummmmm....

John: But...you...apparently you're in India?

Mika: I am.

 

There is a very silent pause with only the tiny vibrations being heard. John keeps staring in disbelief.

 

John: I'm so confused.

Mika: *giggles*

John: *cocks head to one side* I don't understand.

Mika: I am in India...but because I am so centered, my 6th Sense has opened up and with the power of my mind -

John: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE! *puts hands to ears, eyes are firmly shut and starts running round the room* LALA LALALALA LALALA LAAAA!!!!

Mika: JOHN! I'm not going to do anything sick!!!

John: *stops, slowly opens his eyes and takes his hands away* Good.

Mika: With the power of my mind I can send messages. So here I am.

John: So...you're in my head.

Mika: Yes.

John: So basically....you're messing with my head.

Mika: Indeedy I am! *stares evilly at John and grins devilishly*

John: *gulps*

 

John starts to hear some scuttling behind him. Nervously he turns around, but there's nothing to find. Some more scuttling occurs in the room and John starts to shake in fear. What was happening? Mika starts to laugh as shadows occupy the room and suddenly....

 

All is black, apart from the flying Mika and John.

 

They hear a crash in what should be the kitchen and then...

 

Girl: HEY! WHAT'S the big ideaaaa?

John: Hey, MIKA!

 

John tries to ask Mika what is happening but before he knows, colour explodes from nowhere and all of a sudden they are transported into the Lollipop Music Video, the rainbow floor below him moving like a treadmill and a confused John finds it hard to keep up with Lollipop Girl, while Mika continues to levitate and laugh. John narrowly avoids the dropping and popping up sweets and he starts to scream in absolute terror and can't quite take the happiness and insanity.

John then lands on the old granny in bed and the baby wolves start to snif him. He squeals in a high pitched voice as the granny starts to drool, and starts to make a go for him, but John ends up falling from the edge of the bed and begins to fall with Lollipop Girl, hitting and bumping into things along the way.

He lands into the sea but unlike Lollipop Girl who is rescued by the fish, John isn't a very strong swimmer and starts to splash around gasping for air, and is then chased by hungry piranah's, and take a huge chunk out of his clothes. Meanwhile he is still screaming like a girl and Mika is still laughing.

John is then transported back to the rainbow like treadmill and is completely out of breath. He is now crawling on the floor, his face red and eyes bloodhot, his clothes torn, scratched and holed. He is then engulfed in total darkness and finds himseld once again next to Lollipop Girl. He sits down next to her catching his breath while she says her verse, random Las Vegas type words appearing behind them.

Before he knows it, the scenary has changed into the digestive system and John is being sucked upwards, going through the intestines and stomach, the enzymes and acid attacking him, his clothes becoming more torn, random bald patches appear on his head and screams in complete agony.

He gets pulled out of it, reeking of human organs, and sees a wolf rapping to him.

 

John:

 

colour explodes once again and he finds himself trapped between Big Girls on the rainbow treadmill, absolutely gasping for air and eventually collapsing. The wolf picks him up and is sitting next to Lollipop Girl on the wolf's head.

The Music Video comes to an end and John is back in his normal living, looking a complete state and finding it difficult to remember how to use his lungs. He feels very much like how Alice in Wonderland must have felt.

Jerry comes in running in after all the commotion. He opens the door.

 

Jerry: JOHN! OMG WHAT HAP - FECKIN' HELL WHAT'S THAT SMELL?!?!?!!? *pinches nose*

John:

Jerry: John....?

John:

Jerry: Um....if it makes you feel any better........I learned how to write my name today....

 

John continues to stare.

 

Jerry: Dude, what the hell happened?

John: DON'T YOU SEE HIM?!?!?!

Jerry: Who?

John: MIKA!!!!!!!! In the corner of the room, levitating in a ghastly aerobics outfit?!?!

Jerry: *back away slowly but sees the newspaper, and catches a glimpse of the headline* Um...no...he's in India apparently...doing...yoga...

John: I think I've gone completely mad.

Jerry: *is silenced. Walks around John and finds the TV remote* Let's erm...let's put the tele on, shall we?

 

*The television flicks onto a music channel, and Mika's "Lollipop" is playing. John has a nervous breakdown*

 

John: TURN IT OFF!!!! TURN IT F***ING OFF!!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

Jerry: But John, it's Mika!

John: TURN IT OFF!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

John runs out of the room and into the kitchen. Jerry hears the drawers opening and hastily follows John, deeply concerned.

 

John: Where are the knives?!?! WHERE ARE THE KNIVES?!?!?!

Jerry: They're uh..uhm...I'M NOT TELLING YOU!!!!!

John: *finds a smoothy machine maker and uses the contraption next to it which helps squeeze the fruit, but puts his head in between it* BRAIN JUICE, WHO WANTS SOME BRAIN JUICE???? *squeezes*

Jerry:

Yeah thanks, all togther in one place!

LMFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO :lmfao:

 

The script has finally been done, and the looooong sheet of paper has been handed to Mika.

 

Mika: wow, that's pretty long. And it's so...colourful?

Jerry: yeah I know! Mommy did me proud

Jerry's mum: *shouting from the kitchen* Do ya want some chocolate hobnobs with your cuppa tea chicky-poo?

Jerry: Yes please mommy! You're the best!

Mika: wow, look at all the drawings your mum made, they're incredible.

 

John comes over, sees the paper, and a happy grin is splattered on his face, although it looks quite painful. He hasn't smiled for a while.

 

John: Good God! Is it finished at last!

Mika: Yeah! And look how colourful it is!!!

John: ......why is it decorated?

Jerry: *twiddles and fidgets with fingers under John's superior presence* Um, well, because...we wanted to put in as much effort as possible...we wanted the fans to go WOW....!

John: *stares at the paper in disbelief* but there's only a sentence written on this FRIGGIN SUPPOSED-BIBLE-MEETS-MFC-OFFICIALITY-SCROLL!!!!!!!

Jerry+Mika:........??

John: SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!! *John thrusts the paper at the two*

Jerry: Hang about John I can only just about read my name, pfft!

Mika: Yeah and I'm dyslexic! You expect me to READ?!

John: FINE! I SHALL READ IT OUT TO YOU, SHALL I YOU NUMSKULLS?!?!?! IT SAYS - *points at scribble* WE. ARE. OFFICIAL. HUZZAH.

Mika: well....they are official now, aren't they?

John: WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER DETAILS?!?! Were they just forgotten or did I tell the flippin' BRICK WALL?!

 

Jerry's mum comes waddling in from the kitchen with a cup of tea and chocolate hobnobs

 

Jerry's mum: Here you go, love! Oooh what's this that's going on? Looking at my hard work are ya sweetheart?

John: Hard wor...HARD FLIPPING WORK?! WOMAN! ALL YOU DID WAS DRAW!!!! AND SCRIBBLE SOME SCRAWNY OBVIOUS MESSAGE!!!!

Jerry's mum: Ooooh no, love, there's a bit of writing on the bottom!

 

John: *peers down at the bottom of the page*

"Pay us all your money or die."

 

John: *face gets very red*

Mika: Uh-oh....he's gonna blooow...

Jerry's mum: Would you like a tablet, love? You don't look so well.

Jerry: No, it might conflict with his high blood pressure...John gets very stressed mommy...

John: WHERE ARE ALL THE DETAILS WOMAN?!!??!!?

Jerry's mum: You never told me, pet.

John: I TOLD YOU, JERRY! BEFORE YOU TOLD ME YOU COULDN'T BLOODY FRIGGIN' REEEAAAAD!!!!

Jerry: ...I forgot...

John: AAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Mika: You know, I could write a song about this.

 

 

Mika, Jerry and Jerry's mum all walk in together and see John laying in bed, with a hugely miserable look on his face, his body sulking like a teenager who wasn't allowed to go to that illegal rave. Jerry's mum has grapes cradled in her arms, the white doors swing back on themselves, and John's bandaged head looks up.

 

John: Oh, it's you lot. My walking, living, breathing grief.

Mika: Hey Jerry, we got news.

John: *winces* Oh no.

Mika: We've got Freddie to tell the the fanclub that they won't be getting the news for a lengthy period of time.

John: *mocking* And how'd they take that?

Jerry: Not too well. They're on a fan strike.

Mika: Yeah, they're not buying any of my stuff until the news has been told.

John: Yeah well that's gonna be hard because you HAVEN'T F%*$ING RELEASED ANYTHING!!!!!!

Jerry's mum: Now, now, did the nurse's teach you to breathe?

John:...*grudgingly*....yes....

Jerry's mum: Now come on everyone! Let's all do this together! Breathe...IN!

 

-everyone breathes in-

 

Jerry's mum: And....OUT!

 

-everyone breathes out-

 

John: *makes a swipe for the grapes but Jerry's mum snatches them back and slaps his wrist* Oi! They're for me aren't they?

Jerry's mum: Tsk tsk, naughty! What makes them think they're for yooou?

John: Cos I'm ER, in hospital??

Mika: Nah they're for us, we skipped lunch so we could come see you.

Jerry: Yeah, selfish git.

John: SELFISH?! WHO'S THE ONE WHO THOUGHT OF THE MFC BEING OFFICIAL?!

Mika: Er...

John: WHO'S THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PUT IT FORWARD, MAKE IT HAPPEN?

Jerry: My mum.

Jerry's mum: Yeah I did!

John: F--- YOU! I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDED ON THE DETAILS! I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TO MANAGE AS WELL!!! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHIIIIIING!!!!!

Mika: Yeah but....you're the daddy.

John: *is silenced*.....I'm the what?

Mika: Never mind.

John:

 

A blonde, curvacious nurse skips in the room with a clipboard accompanied with a shrill voice

 

Nurse: Jeeee-yony Booiii!!!

John: Oh say it ain't so!

Jerry: Whos' that?

Jerry's mum: -le gasp- is this John's girlfriend??

John: This is my other worst nightmare. All my worst nightmares...All in one room.

Mika: Big Girl you are B-E-A-UUUUUUtifuuuul!!!

Nurse: *emphasies every single syllable* How-are-ya-to-day-Johnny-boi?

John: It's the pills, it must be the pills.

Nurse: I-see-your-blood-presh-er-is-still-quat-hai-kyuutie-pai!

Mika:

John: Dear God, don't touch me.

Jerry: Omg I've figured it out, it's not Mika who's gay, it's JOHN!

Mika: BIG GIRL YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! I could make a song about this!

John: You already have.

Mika: Come on everyone! BIG GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

 

-everyone starts dancing and doing weird quirky 70's disco dance type moves and lots of jerks-

 

John: Drugs! I'm on drugs!

everyone: Get yerself to th' butterfly lounge, find yerself a big LAY-DEE!

John: I'm tripping!! I'M TRIPPING!!!

Yay! You made a thread :roftl: I love these so much

LMFAO @ MIKA..hahahahhahaha i can see that song too.

yay! glad ya like 'em!

 

 

 

 

John peers into another room where Jerry's mum is STILL working hard on the MFC officiality...

 

John: *rolls eyes*

 

Mika: get yerself to th' Butterfly lounge..*sees John and walks up to him, arms outstretched* FIND YERSELF A BIG LAY-DEE!!

John:

Mika: *starts shaking his bum at John* Big Boi come on round *does the sleazy face and points at John* and they'll be calling YOU babyyy!

John: *takes earphones out of Mika's ears* Not working on the second album I see.

Mika: *guilty face* I aaam...*puts i-Pod away*

John: Then why are you listening to your old material?

Mika: Because it's good!

John:

 

 

Jerry: *sees John's face and panics* Uh! It wasn't my idea! It was Mika's! *points to the corner of the room where Mika is hiding behind a thin plastic tree. John's red eyes zoom in on Mika*

Mika: *comes out, laughs nervously and backs into a corner and John thunders nearer* How much do you love me?

John: Mika.

Mika: How much do you care?

John: Mika.

Mika: How much do you miss me when I'm not there?

John:

Mika: How much do you love me? How much do you care?

John: *steam starts coming out of his ears and nostrils*

Mika: How much do you need me when I'm not there?

John: I'm warning you, boy.

Mika: DO DO DO DODO, DO DO DO-

John: *thwack*

 

Ok i just have to keep reading these bits they are my fav!

Ok i just have to keep reading these bits they are my fav!

 

:naughty:

Ok i just have to keep reading these bits they are my fav!

 

hee!! i love it!!!!

 

 

Caz ! you are great!!! I loves it!

:roftl: wow...i went to mika land and came back through all of that! i love it...

hee!! i love it!!!!

 

 

Caz ! you are great!!! I loves it!

 

:roftl: wow...i went to mika land and came back through all of that! i love it...

 

thaaaaankyou!

:lmao:

Oi! Caz, these are hilarious!!!! The descriptions are fantastic!!! And the mental images, LMAO.

:lmao:

Oi! Caz, these are hilarious!!!! The descriptions are fantastic!!! And the mental images, LMAO.

 

 

i hope to God Mika and his crew don't presecute me xDDD

Love reading all of them

for Caz!

:roftl: Great stuff caz I'm loving it.. you're really good at it!!

Love reading all of them

for Caz!

 

*bows*

 

:roftl:Great stuff caz I'm loving it.. you're really good at it!!

 

great imagination caz! you are quite the entertainer!!

great imagination caz! you are quite the entertainer!!

 

glad to entertain

Caz, what are you doing working in a cinema?!?!?!

You have real talent, my girl!

"Hilarious" doesn't do it justice - your scripts are insanely psychadelic side-splittingly crazy fun! The visuals that you conjure up are priceless!!!

OMG Caz, you rock!!!!!

 

i hope to God Mika and his crew don't presecute me xDDD

 

They are laughing too hard - they can't even speak ... or breathe, let alone call a solicitor!

Caz, what are you doing working in a cinema?!?!?!

You have real talent, my girl!

"Hilarious" doesn't do it justice - your scripts are insanely psychadelic side-splittingly crazy fun! The visuals that you conjure up are priceless!!!

OMG Caz, you rock!!!!!

 

Sorry Sariflor, I think I just found my number one fan LMAO!!!!!