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Lena

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Everything posted by Lena

  1. I don't to able to convince myself that sexual intercourse between men is cute. And the assertion that the Orthodox Church is tolerant to it, it's a lie. But it does not call to hate, but pity and compassion. I'm trying. A sense of disgust for such things is a normal feeling. Abhorrence to the action, but not to the man himself. But to me it's hard to separate the man from his actions. Love and hate, all mixed up. I will never accept. Rather, love will be extinguished. You will never understand how it hurts. No one will understand. It's so unbearable(( to feel disgust for your loved one . To know what some man makes with him . Disgusting. Disgusting.((((

  2. I'm never accept it. And I'm not have someone to talk about. I'm alone.

  3. No, Mari, your words do not hurt me. With the Faith I'm trying to drown out the pain and rejection. They do not disappear. What for you is happiness for me is a nightmare. I can not believe that it is a reality. I am not able to feel upset from any words in my address. This become so insignificant for me now that I do not see anything. Can spit on me and to cast aside with rude words. I will not feel worse than is.

  4. I did not notice the communist way of life. We had socialist, by the way. Really you think, I had as a child thinking about men and sexual relations with them?? I played with dolls up to 12 years. In 18 years, I came across the word "homosexuality" and could not understand what these things mean. Everything. The next meet with the theme was in 2008-2009. I am just can not understand how children became homosexuals. I do not understand how children can be in bed with someone. They are children! Maybe Jesus taught to leniency ... to patience? Turning upside down Once I tried to imagine how much I love Mika?. What I did not turn away from him? I apologize in advance. I imagined him so and I thought if I love him so? The feeling of love did not go off from: bald, poor, abandoned by all, drunken, dirty, in a puddle of urine, vomit, a murderer, a disability, kooky, drug addict, a womanizer, lecher. Only there was no homosexuality. I even did not have the mind to think about it. I did not notice such things at all. Yes, Jesus died for us all. To be betrayed again, apparently so ... I'm sorry. It's hard for me English lessons. It's hard express thoughts in a foreign language. Very many lot of reading, writing and translating.
  5. We have always lived side by side with Muslims. I do not see them as outsiders. I am friendly to any religion. Because, no matter the name , God is one. I am happy to give my blood. I would gladly gave my organs, if they could grow again. And of course, I would not choose who will get it and who does not:wink2: Thank you for your reply! Russian Grandfather Frost is fairytale for me). But if it sounds like Santa Claus ... I should look for one who is holy Claus ...) When something bad happens to me, it is with God easier for me to carry it. God not just saved me and but gave strength me. He saved me from desperate deeds, and in fear. He is my censor. If I do something bad, then I'm very experiencing. Because I feel as if someone said to me: "Don't do this, don't. This is bad. You'll be sorry ." And yes. I am sorry that I "shut my ears". Who supports me now? God. You can not imagine how it looks in the translation.
  6. I just saw in my childhood, as my grandmother was crossing herself ... I derided her. But she only wept silently. Nobody taught me to believe. It was a different time. The country was atheistic. -------- I can not speak to you as openly as you say. You can, because you are free. Nothing keeps your to denounce of religion. I feel the bleak emptiness of those words. But I almost can not say anything in response. I have to think before you write. Because I am not free to express my thoughts to you. Even if I don't accuse, attack, threaten Gehenna of fire and desire of bad things. ( And I never wished this for Mika ). Even the fact that I feel peacefully and I do not feel any anger, only regret. I am not free, not only because of my religion, but because of your attitude towards it. I'm afraid to offend. But no matter what I said, I'm a homophobe for you. But now for me not hurt to read it. Thank God I'm set to good. I do not even see if someone criticized me or deride. It is during these few days I felt better and spiritually stronger. I was able to cope with strong indignation, with a sorrowful thoughts, with the desire to kill myself. * I hope that I manage. And it happened because I was in the church these days. Not after how he gave the "Celebrate" and said of himself but before I heard these news.
  7. Shame to say this words about all religions because this do not tally with the desire to live as you want. I do not know what religion forbids blood transfusions. There are many sects. I'm not with them. I am a blood donor. Religion does not forbid me to donate blood. But if it is banned, then I would still be a blood donor. Because this saves more lives. But friends and relatives say, that I ceased to be a donor. It is possible that I have strayed to the rescue. I always wanted someone to save . Doctors, rescuers and firefighters are my heroes.I condemn abortion. It is impossible to live in peace and know that you killed your child. It will forever remain in your memory. This weakness will not atone for any prayers. I felt a discrepancy here. "God will do nothing to stop it" "Thank God you found me." It caught my eye immediately. But I'm pleased your words. ------------ I was struck by the fact that almost no one has any faith in God. This discovery for me. I could not even imagine this. This is similar to our Revolution when churches were burned. You can jump on the icons, or throw them in the trash as unnecessary? or did you realize that impossible do it? Just wondering how far this has gone...
  8. I do not want to be more free. Not one didn't impose me religion. I myself come. No thought was forced upon me.
  9. This is the only non-judgmental statement of facts able show what I think. Do not convey , but at least a little bit to explain what I think. Thank you, Silver. You should understand me at least "on the old memory"
  10. I do not know. This is what happened. I did not choose. He was making me unhappy and happy... Maybe, it is addictive. Maybe it will pass now. Maybe all this happened for the better. At least I have lost the desire to die. I sobered up. I'm afraid myself. I love passionately and I can hate passionately ... because I love . But I can inflict physical pain only to myself, but to anyone. Never. I would now rushed to save him, not sparing my life. But I can not accept his lifestyle. Again, to put blinders on your eyes? .. Too difficult. Because for me it is a sin. I do not know what it is. Let it is not love. God help me. I do not feel the wrath of those two days, although for me it would be a cause for anger. I have no idea how to be an atheist. From this thought in my heart is empty, as if I've lost love, or even worse. Without God I do not see sense in life at all. He always listens to me. Mika had never been over of God for me. Never. He helped me to love him and protect. But you do not understand). This say all non-believers/ Sorry I do not know what will happen tomorrow, I now know nothing. My life turned upside down. Because he will not take me for who I am? Be broken or go away? I'm at a crossroads. I do not know what I'll feel... * For me, this is so, because I have other views. You take Mika such, because you love. I do not accept all it because I love. You do not understand. Sorry, I'm tired of running after you.
  11. Scream and judge. Because some/me believe that they/you can cope with this, they/me believe that it is a whim. Do you understand?... I think it's a whim, but you think that this freedom of choice. Miscellaneous. Screaming because they/me want to save you. You do not want to be saved, because you consider free to make such a choice. There will never be completely right. I have a very different vision. While I want to save Mika, it means that I love him. If I would not care, then I will say, "let he be the way he is. f* him"
  12. But this was offered me. live as I desire and choose whom I wish, irrespective of gender. Because, it is freedom now and 21th. I was shocked by this. No I do not think so. This is an example of teaching adults and their approval. And pushing. Maybe I read the article misleading and your children are not taught that it is possible to try and choose with whom they will be more pleasant to sleep? My egoism was shown, when I showed anger at Ida. But this was long gone. Now I really would have been happy if he married her. Or on the other girl. I overcame jealousy and selfishness. But now it's not the case. I can not recognize this as love. That's it. This is a sexual relationship. Thank you, that you said you did not treat me bad. This is valuable.♥ But why do I hear and read examples of other gay men that they were able to cope with this? Why did I read that you can overcome yourself and do not go on about desires? I only hear what I have been accused of homophobia and say that I am wrong. Right now I am no longer afraid to be condemned. Because I have nothing more to lose. But I have not lost faith in my rightness. You can change itself itself if you understand that homosexuality is wrong. But not everyone wants. Because one do not want to give up easy and sweet, and work on itrself. And even more so when you are satisfied. Why do they hide? Why is hard to admit? Because it is difficult to be deceived. If you are right, then you have nothing to be ashamed of and you do not have to adjust itself for years, so to speak. I understand also that we have a different perception of life. I understand. I understand that you will not understand me. In the same way as I do not understand you. I can not here develop my thoughts. I'm no extremist and don't attack they. I do not want they had troubles or punishment. I just do not understand how anyone can live like this.I deny myself in some things and desires .. I put down a lot and did not give a try. I do not think I lost something. This is whims . And if I could go back, I would have banned myself some things. I do not understand when a man thinks he can do whatever wish.
  13. I'm not ignoring your post. Just do not have time to quickly read and respond. Yes, I would like to know whether or not it is gone. You poked me with this for year ago. That's why I showed you your. Sorry, that just today. I don't knew that this could be in real life.
  14. I say nothing. For you it is preposterous. For you to follow your instincts more important. (I'm not talking about you. No plural for "you") I feel like a medieval pastor in Papua Guinea
  15. Just fun, nothing more, really? I thought you was resent pedofeliya. You was so outraged, I remember ...
  16. I understand that I can not argue anything to those who sincerely considers that everything happens for the best for him. Yes, I know a habit misinterpret the Bible to suit itself and rip the words out of context. Or just to attack the church. This is the "good tradition" It's not you to decide. "Live and let live" .This is the same as indifference. I like it. You accuse my country in my face). And thank God that it is not like yours. Your PNVD is still alive? To 1st it was better not to say anything, but to arrange an intrigue. to 2st to say half. And to 3st tell all. But I hope he don't was sooo forethought. All always telling me what I want to believe in something.) Even now. When I have nothing left. Although I found)
  17. I am writing awkward. I know. I still do not know the language. I wanted to say that should not deny the fact that he was in a hurry to tell everything for promote the album. To draw attention to the album. This is clear as day.
  18. It sounds as egotistically as my old desire that Mika was always alone. But worse.
  19. Oh my! When he first told how his album will be called? A year ago. I take off the blinders from my eyes. Rather, they were forcibly stripped, along with my eyelids. The Origin of Love ... All. What isn't clear what kind of love will there be? Even I understood. Just I don't wanted to hear anything. Who did not know what he will say everything on the threshold of the album?? Even I knew it. I wondered when he will be say? In August or just before the release of the album? I felt that there were some days . If no one knew except me, I'm a prophet. lol For the sake of promotion. It's understandable. I hurried into the Catholic church to ask for prayers for him. I wanted make it yesterday, even not a day later. Do not slept after my night work. I walked not in my church. In his church, which he turned away. I was there yesterday, on August 3. I was in a hurry, and he was in a hurry.
  20. Why don't agree that this is true? This can be seen, even the blind man. Just do not want to think so. But the reality is the same as his words about himself. It is a fact.
  21. "I've found the strength to come to terms ..." He suffered. But for you it is ​​and recruitment of the proud, no more. I'm dying from your jubilation. If He had not been such, it is necessary that He become such. For the sake of another little plus. I think, you would have felt frustrated. But "they" feel pain. I'm not proud. I do not want to have bad and angry emotions. I learn humility. Unpleasant to see how people are just rubbing their palms, "yo! Our added." I feel compassion to Him. He was forced to come to terms and accept it. I do not believe that there was no choice, but He thinks. You wrote "them" enemies, because they think differently. I found the strength to write it. Attack me.
  22. -G. Mika, I know that Russian opera singer taught you to sing. What is her name and what she was? -M. Her name was Alla and she is from Moscow. Her husband is a famous pianist Sasha Ardakov. Initially, he began to teach me to play the piano. But I was so incapable of a student in 10 years,what he handed me to his wife, Alla. She noticed I have a wonderful vocal abilities. I think I was incredibly lucky in my life the way I met this strict but insanely talented a teacher who loving her profession. Within six months of training with her I was invited to perform in London's Royal Opera House in Covent Garden . *All of this happened thanks to the incredible discipline and rigidity.
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