Susan Smith

Here it is:

I know this discussion has been dead for a few days, but I just saw this post on Instagram and it provides a pretty cool summary I think https://www.instagram.com/p/CH5T3TZLKmV/?igshid=ii9pbcx6pzor

It reminds me of this comment I responded to on Tiktok:

Ahh I really love this reply! It sums it up so well, and yes I can never understand why people tag him in such things 😂 a lot of the time I hope he doesn’t check his notifications

I think we should stop reducing this to just “a difference of humour” because it’s more that that. Using an excuse like “he sexualises himself already” is a common, misogynistic victim blaming phrase often flung around so I have to dismiss that. Also, whether or not mika finds it funny, this is less about what makes HIM uncomfortable and more about what’s morally decent/ comfortable for everyone. And I do not think many of the comments I personally am talking about were made with comedic intent

I also would like to say that the people interacting in this thread are not necessarily the people this is directed at! Thank you very much for talking with us. I think partly the reason chandler started this thread is we think it would be rude for us to publicly name and shame those we think make inappropriate comments, so this discussion is a less direct way for us to challenge some issues and talk with people rather than attack them

Chandler perfectly articulated the point I wanted to make. One concept the feminist movement is very keen to educate people on, is that someone sexualising themselves does not give YOU the right to sexualise them. You often see comments from men online like “how can women post revealing sexy pictures of themselves like this, then get mad when people objectify them?😂”. The reason is the same as why people chose to take showers but will get angry if you unexpectedly throw a bucket of water over them. There’s no crime in speaking sexually of things INTENDED to be sexual, but overly sexualising no

What I meant before about tolerating those comments from early teens, is that we KNOW they’re young and immature haha. While I have nothing against people dancing on tables 😂, saying “older people don’t necessarily know better” is in a way admitting those sort of comments are unacceptable. And now that we’re having this conversation, hopefully we can all educate each other to become a bit more aware and take each other’s views into account

Hey, I just wanted to say I totally agree with Chandler and this is an issue I’ve long discussed with people in the fandom. To clear up any debate, I would like to say the difference between older women and teenage girls making “inappropriate comments” is that everyone knows the teenage girls thing is a stereotype. I often joke about “13 year old girls” and in general we put up with their somewhat off colour comments under the impression that in a year or two they’ll grow out of it and they’ve just had their sexual awakening or whatever. But people who are the age of parents/ grandparents don’

Wait was that an actual thing 😂 does anyone have any evidence of this?

Does anyone who was there know what that guy shouted at the beginning of Big Girl to make Mika laugh? 😂 Or have a full video of mikas talking bits in relax?

He sang Over My Shoulder??

Oh right no false hope 😂

Omg that was so annoying

Why do you say you won’t comment on the book yet😂