The Joke Thread (tm)

[bambam]

Hi everyone! Thought it would be a good idea to make a joke thread. Anyone reading this, please post any goods jokes you have, nothing too mature plz...

 

-The Grandfather Clock-

 

A man walked out of an antique shop with a grandfather clock, bumped into another man and the clock falls down and smashes on the ground. The first man says, 'Why don't you watch where you're going?' The second man says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everyone else?'

 

Dont hesitate to enter a joke, I'm sure everyone as well as me would love to hear them!

[CallieFornia]

I think this one's okay:

 

A penguin walks into the bar wearing a bow tie. At the bar there is a bowl of nuts. The bowl of nuts says, 'What a nice bow tie!'

'Why thankyou!' says the penguin.

Later the penguin goes into the toilet. In the toilet there is a condom machine. The condom machine laughs at his bow tie.

The penguin is offended, so he complains to the bar man.

'The condom machine laughed at my bow tie,' says the penguin.

'Why, I'm sorry,' says the barman, 'The nuts are complimentry but the condom machine is out of order.'

 

[Tia]

I think this one's okay:

 

A penguin walks into the bar wearing a bow tie. At the bar there is a bowl of nuts. The bowl of nuts says, 'What a nice bow tie!'

'Why thankyou!' says the penguin.

Later the penguin goes into the toilet. In the toilet there is a condom machine. The condom machine laughs at his bow tie.

The penguin is offended, so he complains to the bar man.

'The condom machine laughed at my bow tie,' says the penguin.

'Why, I'm sorry,' says the barman, 'The nuts are complimentry but the condom machine is out of order.'

 

 

:naughty:

 

i can never remember jokes.....

 

wot was yours again:wink2:

[mercurygirl]

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5730&highlight=Jokes

 

Here are lots of other jokes people have posted, bambam, cos you seem to like laughing (I'm the same) some are hysterical!!! But this thread just kind of died, not sure why... guess people just ran out of jokes:naughty:

[CallieFornia]

:naughty:

 

i can never remember jokes.....

 

wot was yours again:wink2:

 

Ohhhh haha I only just got what you meant! I'm slightly autistic and I take EVERYTHING literally! Believe me, I was just starting to write it out all over again for you!

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been

married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

 

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

 

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.

 

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

 

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

 

:biggrin2:

[marian538]

Any good jokes about there? I'm awful remembering jokes, but I'll try my best if someone starts