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Posted

i laughed for almost everything!

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up

every two hours?

 

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

 

 

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there

is not enough money?

 

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

 

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw

a revolver at him?

 

 

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

 

 

What is the speed of darkness?

 

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "able" people at the

Special Olympics?

 

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as

cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

 

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem

longer?

 

 

Can you cry under water?

 

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in

binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

 

Did you ever stop and wonder......

 

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

 

 

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...? I'm gonna

eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

 

 

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast

to a horrible burnt crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

 

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

 

 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the toilet is?

 

 

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

 

 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

 

 

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

 

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

 

 

 

Please stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

 

 

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

window?

 

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

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Posted

hahaha...:thumb_yello: this was the most awesome post ever:naughty: it really makes you think. even when you dont realize that you are...like when you said stop singing and keep reading:roftl: i was like whoa...FREAKY. [but in the good way ROFL]

Posted

ooookay...... here we go

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Because it totally makes it work better... i do the same thing when i want it to rewind faster haha.

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

Paint is much more easy to check.

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Because then he would look ugly, and generally, in disney movies, the main protagonist never looks ugly hahaha.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw

a revolver at him?

Because its cooler when you block bullets. when you get hit in the hear with a gun you just look stupid.

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Somebody with a horrible sense of humor....:naughty:

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "able" people at the

Special Olympics?

No, so it pretty much sucks for you if you are able...

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because we're just that brilliant.

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

A baby cow....hopefully

 

 

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

This i do wonder....

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Somebody was feeling uninspired.

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

window?

I think that all depends on what you just ate....poor doggie...

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Duh!!!

:biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2:

Posted
ooookay...... here we go

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Because it totally makes it work better... i do the same thing when i want it to rewind faster haha.

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

Paint is much more easy to check.

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Because then he would look ugly, and generally, in disney movies, the main protagonist never looks ugly hahaha.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw

a revolver at him?

Because its cooler when you block bullets. when you get hit in the hear with a gun you just look stupid.

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Somebody with a horrible sense of humor....:naughty:

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "able" people at the

Special Olympics?

No, so it pretty much sucks for you if you are able...

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because we're just that brilliant.

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

A baby cow....hopefully

 

 

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

This i do wonder....

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Somebody was feeling uninspired.

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

window?

I think that all depends on what you just ate....poor doggie...

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Duh!!!

:biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2:

 

LadyGodiva oh my goodness your soo funny :roll1: that even funnier than the original. I love view other ppls points of views on the same subject. hehehe. :wink2:

Posted

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the toilet is?

That's the "splurt coffee all over the monitor" one:lmao:

 

*wonders why there is no "splurt coffee on monitor (SCOM)" smiley?*

Posted
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the toilet is?

That's the "splurt coffee all over the monitor" one:lmao:

 

*wonders why there is no "splurt coffee on monitor (SCOM)" smiley?*

 

got it covered

coffeescreen.gif

haha

 

SCOM? it's like sit com....only "spit" com

*please hold applause*

Posted
ooookay...... here we go

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Because it totally makes it work better... i do the same thing when i want it to rewind faster haha.

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,

but check when you say the paint is wet?

Paint is much more easy to check.

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Because then he would look ugly, and generally, in disney movies, the main protagonist never looks ugly hahaha.

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw

a revolver at him?

Because its cooler when you block bullets. when you get hit in the hear with a gun you just look stupid.

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Somebody with a horrible sense of humor....:naughty:

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "able" people at the

Special Olympics?

No, so it pretty much sucks for you if you are able...

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because we're just that brilliant.

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

A baby cow....hopefully

 

 

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

This i do wonder....

 

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

tune?

Somebody was feeling uninspired.

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

window?

I think that all depends on what you just ate....poor doggie...

 

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Duh!!!

:biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2:

:lmfao: Nice.. :roftl:

Posted
HAHAHAHAHA

Okay i'm not even bored anymore..

 

*wonders what baby oil could be made from*

 

im very afraid of that answer!

 

hahaha... this was the most awesome post ever:naughty: it really makes you think. even when you dont realize that you are...like when you said stop singing and keep reading:roftl: i was like whoa...FREAKY. [but in the good way ROFL]

 

that was freaky! couldnt believe i was actually singing!

 

ooookay...... here we go

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries

are flat?

Because it totally makes it work better... i do the same thing when i want it to rewind faster haha.

 

:biggrin2:

 

so do i! :biggrin2:

 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't

point to their bum when they ask where the toilet is?

That's the "splurt coffee all over the monitor" one:lmao:

 

*wonders why there is no "splurt coffee on monitor (SCOM)" smiley?*

 

imagine how that would look!:shocked:

 

Tests are testical. Duh. :das:

 

 

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep has the same tune to Twinkle Twinkle as well. I was so disappointed when I figured that out.

 

lol hahaha come to think of it! youre right!

Posted

those are great! :roftl: i started to mamble at first, then i was reading it all aloud and laughing like crazy, then i started singing twinkle star and when i read this:

Please stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

i was like huh? :blink:

:roftl:

 

got it covered

coffeescreen.gif

haha

 

SCOM? it's like sit com....only "spit" com

*please hold applause*

 

i love it!! it kinda feels like looking in the mirror, that's me reading some of the mfc threads :roftl:

Posted
those are great! :roftl: i started to mamble at first, then i was reading it all aloud and laughing like crazy, then i started singing twinkle star and when i read this:

Please stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

i was like huh? :blink:

:roftl:

 

its funny how predictable the human nature is! lol!

like they also say that if you tell someone they cant lick their elbow they're bound to try

Posted
its funny how predictable the human nature is! lol!

like they also say that if you tell someone they cant lick their elbow they're bound to try

 

omg, i did the elbow thing too :mf_rosetinted:

i mean not now but when i read somewhere that it's impossible to do it. made sure nobody's watching, gave it a go and yep, it's impossible. :naughty: it's amazing though how predictable i am :roftl:

Posted
omg, i did the elbow thing too :mf_rosetinted:

i mean not now but when i read somewhere that it's impossible to do it. made sure nobody's watching, gave it a go and yep, it's impossible. :naughty: it's amazing though how predictable i am :roftl:

 

hahaha omw! i also did it when no ones looking so i dont look like an idiot lol!

Posted
its funny how predictable the human nature is! lol!

like they also say that if you tell someone they cant lick their elbow they're bound to try

THAT IS SOOO TRUE:shocked: i never thought of it like that before. also if you walk up to a random person and tell them the one thing that you hate is dry lips they will automaticlly lick their lips.:naughty: and not even realize that they did it. HOW FUNNY AND FREAKY ALL IN ONE. hehehe:roftl:

Posted
THAT IS SOOO TRUE:shocked: i never thought of it like that before. also if you walk up to a random person and tell them the one thing that you hate is dry lips they will automaticlly lick their lips.:naughty: and not even realize that they did it. HOW FUNNY AND FREAKY ALL IN ONE. hehehe:roftl:

 

i havent tried that but now im going to!!!

lol and i also read this post on FB it was like statements that was numbered but like about a guy or girl that you like, then i think number 7 was that you smiling thinking of that person (which you are) and number 9 is that you were too busy laughing at number 7 to notice there isnt a number 8 (which was tru!) :lmao:

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