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Mika's Sister in Serious Accident


dcdeb

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I googled the articule most of it is ok but it says Mika is close to having autism think I might of read that wrong or maybe its cos as child he didnt socialize as got bullied at its good he had his sisters and brother for company my older brother Gerard 6 years older than me has severe autism and other things my other older brother Barry is 11 years older than me we were close and he was a kind brother most the time but he didnt always want to play with me when I was a kid he wanted be with his mates and doing other things his age at time I spent most of the time with my dog Sammy a german sheperd x collie he was my best friend our neighbours always joked that I was my dad's shadow from a young kid up to before he passed away 2 years ago when I was 18 he toke me everywhere with him like shops and things like that just to get me out house as would be watching same video over or listening to a favorite song all day the articule also says Mika doesnt trust easy I dont really blame him I mean I have mild autism myself got bullied in school cos my mild autism and mild learning thing even got bulled cos my mother died I was only 7 at the time but some older kids made my life hell I stopped talking and things so my dad toke me out of school for a year when went back everything was going fine made friends and was happy until was 13 then got bullied couldnt cope with it so got home schooled had a better time at college enjoyed doing buiness studies and then animal care and made afew friends there is some people who dont know me when out and stare at me proply think I'm weirdo or immature or something my support staff say I'm kinda quirky but also and intelligent very chatty and kind the trust thing is a frigile thing I do I eventually learn to trust but takes me years of knowing people I dont blame Mika being abit wary of some people especially the showbiz world people some of them are ok I suppose but some are just like foxes pretending to be nice and trustable but are not I love Mika way he is been his fan since the myspace days and will be his fan and supporting his music and whatever else he does forever

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I googled the articule most of it is ok but it says Mika is close to having autism think I might of read that wrong or maybe its cos as child he didnt socialize as got bullied at its good he had his sisters and brother for company my older brother Gerard 6 years older than me has severe autism and other things my other older brother Barry is 11 years older than me we were close and he was a kind brother most the time but he didnt always want to play with me when I was a kid he wanted be with his mates and doing other things his age at time I spent most of the time with my dog Sammy a german sheperd x collie he was my best friend our neighbours always joked that I was my dad's shadow from a young kid up to before he passed away 2 years ago when I was 18 he toke me everywhere with him like shops and things like that just to get me out house as would be watching same video over or listening to a favorite song all day the articule also says Mika doesnt trust easy I dont really blame him I mean I have mild autism myself got bullied in school cos my mild autism and mild learning thing even got bulled cos my mother died I was only 7 at the time but some older kids made my life hell I stopped talking and things so my dad toke me out of school for a year when went back everything was going fine made friends and was happy until was 13 then got bullied couldnt cope with it so got home schooled had a better time at college enjoyed doing buiness studies and then animal care and made afew friends there is some people who dont know me when out and stare at me proply think I'm weirdo or immature or something my support staff say I'm kinda quirky but also and intelligent very chatty and kind the trust thing is a frigile thing I do I eventually learn to trust but takes me years of knowing people I dont blame Mika being abit wary of some people especially the showbiz world people some of them are ok I suppose but some are just like foxes pretending to be nice and trustable but are not I love Mika way he is been his fan since the myspace days and will be his fan and supporting his music and whatever else he does forever

I don't know a lot about autism, but I have heard there are various forms and sometimes a person can be mildly autistic. I can believe that about Mika, given his past, and even things about his present. It does seem to me that he doesn't trust people easily and finds it hard to form relationships. He seems lonely, yet even though so amny people love him, he seems to think he's unlovable and never seems to be able to stick with anyone (romance wise)

All that doesn't mean he is mildly autistic, but that could explain it if he is and it could be part of what makes him the unique human-being we all love and admire.

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I think that a lot is written about Mika, he has said a lot of things about himself.

 

Some of it may be true, some of it may not be, some may have been true at the time he said it and not now. We don't really know.

 

But I do think that we over romanticise Mika's past. True, part of that is due to what Mika has said to the press over the years or what the press have interpreted.

I look at it as he has moved two or three times, twice when he was just a baby really, there have been times when there was not much money around but I am sure this is relative (one person's having no money might mean their kids have to go to state school instead of private whereas another's may mean they don't have enough money to pay the electric bill or eat), he didn't always get on well at school.

 

However, it would also appear that he has ALWAYS got by, has ALWAYS had all or part of a loving family around him. He went to fee paying schools from the age of 9 so from that age money cannot have been a problem in the way that most of us understand it. He seems to have several close and devoted friends, Alex, Ida, Lorna and they are only the ones I know about. He is rich by my standards.

He might be a bit shy but aren't we all? He seems to cope exceedingly well in social situations, with fans, in interviews etc. People say he's charming and charismatic.

 

I think fans make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfil their own needs. Autistic, dyslexic, bullied, lonely, had a hard childhood etc etc

Sometimes when I read threads on here if I didn't know better, I'd think Mika was a sad social retard that never left his house! Poor sod!

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I think that a lot is written about Mika, he has said a lot of things about himself.

 

Some of it may be true, some of it may not be, some may have been true at the time he said it and not now. We don't really know.

 

But I do think that we over romanticise Mika's past. True, part of that is due to what Mika has said to the press over the years or what the press have interpreted.

I look at it as he has moved two or three times, twice when he was just a baby really, there have been times when there was not much money around but I am sure this is relative (one person's having no money might mean their kids have to go to state school instead of private whereas another's may mean they don't have enough money to pay the electric bill or eat), he didn't always get on well at school.

 

However, it would also appear that he has ALWAYS got by, has ALWAYS had all or part of a loving family around him. He went to fee paying schools from the age of 9 so from that age money cannot have been a problem in the way that most of us understand it. He seems to have several close and devoted friends, Alex, Ida, Lorna and they are only the ones I know about. He is rich by my standards.

He might be a bit shy but aren't we all? He seems to cope exceedingly well in social situations, with fans, in interviews etc. People say he's charming and charismatic.

 

I think fans make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfil their own needs. Autistic, dyslexic, bullied, lonely, had a hard childhood etc etc

Sometimes when I read threads on here if I didn't know better, I'd think Mika was a sad social retard that never left his house! Poor sod!

 

Yes, everything is so relative. It seems he has always had everything more than the average standard says. Maybe at times they have had less than they earlier had, and for a little boy it could have been a big change. Also, he is modest, and he wants to show money is not important to him.

 

And, totally agree, I am always amazed how well he can cope in different situations, with fans and journalists etc. Maybe he finds those situations difficult and tiring though. And he is intelligent, maybe he has learnt to observe people and react to their behavior, we never know. He is shy when he is not on stage, and that's totally a part of his charm :wub2:

 

(Sorry my English, I have a bad flu, can't find suitable words)

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Yes, everything is so relative. It seems he has always had everything more than the average standard says. Maybe at times they have had less than they earlier had, and for a little boy it could have been a big change. Also, he is modest, and he wants to show money is not important to him.

 

And, totally agree, I am always amazed how well he can cope in different situations, with fans and journalists etc. Maybe he finds those situations difficult and tiring though. And he is intelligent, maybe he has learnt to observe people and react to their behavior, we never know. He is shy when he is not on stage, and that's totally a part of his charm :wub2:

 

(Sorry my English, I have a bad flu, can't find suitable words)

 

Yes I'd say he is probably a little shy, but it appears to me he actually likes people. And if he sees fans he knows in the queue he often asks how you are and sounds like he really means it. Remember how he was asking about Allegra's eye in the queue in Helsinki?

He copes more than well in social situations and it's out there for all to see.

 

I hope you feel better soon Nina! Stay in bed and get those boys waiting on you for the day!

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I don't know a lot about autism, but I have heard there are various forms and sometimes a person can be mildly autistic. I can believe that about Mika, given his past, and even things about his present. It does seem to me that he doesn't trust people easily and finds it hard to form relationships. He seems lonely, yet even though so amny people love him, he seems to think he's unlovable and never seems to be able to stick with anyone (romance wise)

All that doesn't mean he is mildly autistic, but that could explain it if he is and it could be part of what makes him the unique human-being we all love and admire.

 

I have a mild form of autism and forming friends and is difficult I get obbessed with subjects and things even as a child surounded myself with my obessions and kinda dream world no one else was invited kinda thing I still abit like that in my own world and between here and somewhere else I dont trust easily either takes me years of knowing someone I only got diagnosed with mild aspergers about 2 years ago but my dad and my school considered me having some kind of autism another psylogist I used to see after our house fire and my dad's death said she thinks I'm on the autisic spectrum confused me saying mild aspergers and mild autisic spetrum my support workers say theyre very simalar it was my docter who diagnoised me mild aspergers says it links with my dypraxia and being abit hyperactive and having high levels of anxety and things

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I think fans make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfil their own needs. Autistic, dyslexic, bullied, lonely, had a hard childhood etc etc

Sometimes when I read threads on here if I didn't know better, I'd think Mika was a sad social retard that never left his house! Poor sod!

 

It is unfortunate that you make that kind of assumption about people who have learning disabilities, emotional problems, and psychological disorders, especially if they are contending with more than one.

 

However, I now understand how you are reading what people are writing and why we have had the misunderstandings we have had.

 

To offer a differing perspective on why fans find inspiration in discovering that Mika may have faced certain challenges:

 

Many famous people have personal challenges that include learning disabilities, psychological disorders, difficult circumstances, etc. Their fans find inspiration in knowing those things because it gives them hope. It gives them a reason to aspire to having lives full of good things despite their struggles.

 

Contrary to popular belief, people with challenges do not usually end up locked away in their homes with no social skills or ability to function in public. They have loving relationships with their families, make friends, and find lovers. They have to be more selective because they are so widely stigmatized, but they do live lives as rich and varied as people who do not have those challenges. They simply have more stringent limitations and numerous obstacles to contend with.

 

If Mika has had to contend with even one of the problems that we have heard about, we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring. Even if he has had to contend with all of those problems, that does not mean that he would have ended up hiding in his house and never speaking to anybody.

 

I know people who have had to contend with more challenges than that and they have rich social lives despite it all because they have surrounded themselves with people who love them and have not wasted their time on people who make assumptions about them based on the challenges they face.

 

So, it would come as no surprise to me if Mika has survived as much as we have heard about and more, even though I do not assume that he has. Human beings are far more resilient than most people think.

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It is unfortunate that you make that kind of assumption about people who have learning disabilities, emotional problems, and psychological disorders, especially if they are contending with more than one.

 

However, I now understand how you are reading what people are writing and why we have had the misunderstandings we have had.

 

To offer a differing perspective on why fans find inspiration in discovering that Mika may have faced certain challenges:

 

Many famous people have personal challenges that include learning disabilities, psychological disorders, difficult circumstances, etc. Their fans find inspiration in knowing those things because it gives them hope. It gives them a reason to aspire to having lives full of good things despite their struggles.

 

Contrary to popular belief, people with challenges do not usually end up locked away in their homes with no social skills or ability to function in public. They have loving relationships with their families, make friends, and find lovers. They have to be more selective because they are so widely stigmatized, but they do live lives as rich and varied as people who do not have those challenges. They simply have more stringent limitations and numerous obstacles to contend with.

 

If Mika has had to contend with even one of the problems that we have heard about, we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring. Even if he has had to contend with all of those problems, that does not mean that he would have ended up hiding in his house and never speaking to anybody.

 

I know people who have had to contend with more challenges than that and they have rich social lives despite it all because they have surrounded themselves with people who love them and have not wasted their time on people who make assumptions about them based on the challenges they face.

 

So, it would come as no surprise to me if Mika has survived as much as we have heard about and more, even though I do not assume that he has. Human beings are far more resilient than most people think.

 

:bow:

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It is unfortunate that you make that kind of assumption about people who have learning disabilities, emotional problems, and psychological disorders, especially if they are contending with more than one.

However, I now understand how you are reading what people are writing and why we have had the misunderstandings we have had.

 

To offer a differing perspective on why fans find inspiration in discovering that Mika may have faced certain challenges:

 

Many famous people have personal challenges that include learning disabilities, psychological disorders, difficult circumstances, etc. Their fans find inspiration in knowing those things because it gives them hope. It gives them a reason to aspire to having lives full of good things despite their struggles.

 

Contrary to popular belief, people with challenges do not usually end up locked away in their homes with no social skills or ability to function in public. They have loving relationships with their families, make friends, and find lovers. They have to be more selective because they are so widely stigmatized, but they do live lives as rich and varied as people who do not have those challenges. They simply have more stringent limitations and numerous obstacles to contend with.

 

If Mika has had to contend with even one of the problems that we have heard about, we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring. Even if he has had to contend with all of those problems, that does not mean that he would have ended up hiding in his house and never speaking to anybody.

 

I know people who have had to contend with more challenges than that and they have rich social lives despite it all because they have surrounded themselves with people who love them and have not wasted their time on people who make assumptions about them based on the challenges they face.

 

So, it would come as no surprise to me if Mika has survived as much as we have heard about and more, even though I do not assume that he has. Human beings are far more resilient than most people think.

 

I'm not making assumptions about anybody. I'm saying that people attributing every affliction under the sun to Mika makes him seem like he is socially retarded when he is not. You are making it sound like I am disrespecting people who do have problems in life, well if that's the way you want to read it, go ahead, you always wilfully misinterpret what I say and try to teach me to suck eggs. You have no idea of my personal circumstances or the problems I may have that relate to this matter.

I'm not going to argue with you.

 

I am surprised you wanted to reply to me though as previously you have so disliked my "fokker style" of posting.

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:blink:

I am always amazed by the heated converstations we can start on MFC by putting some people’s comments out of context.

 

@riverstwilight you wrote a long and brillant essay on people with disabilities – shame it had no relevance on the conversation that preceded it.

I do not intend to go into detail, but if you read Bab’s post again, you might realise that her point was that we, as MFCers ”over-romanticise Mika's past” and that since Mika seems to cope exceedingly well in social situations, he is most definitely not autistic. A further observation of hers was that fans seem to make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfill their own needs. And, to tell you the truth, your post makes me think that you are a fine example of that:

If Mika has had to contend with even one of the problems that we have heard about, we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring.

 

I don't want to take away people's dreams but some reality check is useful for everyone once in a while.

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I don't want to take away people's dreams but some reality check is useful for everyone once in a while.

 

A request for clarification:

 

So, from my post, specifically the line you quoted, you read that I am romanticizing Mika's struggles and need a reality check/that I am supporting people who are doing that and need that?

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A request for clarification:

 

So, from my post, specifically the line you quoted, you read that I am romanticizing Mika's struggles and need a reality check/that I am supporting people who are doing that and need that?

 

:dunno: I am not a psychologist.

 

I thought that the quote from your post ("we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring") supported Bab's observation that "fans seem to make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfill their own needs".

 

In other words, you wrote you needed inspiration and you seem to get it from Mika. Many people do, I guess.

 

 

 

 

However, let's not claim he is autistic just because some people might find this inspirational.

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I thought that the quote from your post ("we have every reason to be proud of him and find his success inspiring") supported Bab's observation that "fans seem to make Mika into the person they want or need to fulfill their own needs".

 

In other words, you wrote you needed inspiration and you seem to get it from Mika. Many people do, I guess.

 

You cut off the "if" part of my "if-then" statement, which is a rhetorical device used to illustrate a point, not a statement of personal choice/action.

 

It was not intended to imply that I need inspiration or that I get inspiration from Mika.

 

It was a hypothetical statement that was intended mean that there is nothing wrong with getting inspiration from Mika, especially if that inspiration is coming from the factual parts of his story.

 

None of us knows which parts are factual, which is why I used a hypothetical instead of an absolute.

 

The fact that I need to clarify to this degree means that the rhetorical device failed and I need to evaluate how I choose to frame my points in the future.

 

I will now respectfully withdraw from this thread because I was not intending to be disagreeable or start a fight.

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@riverstwilight that's cool. It was only my interpretation of the two posts, so already too many words wasted on it.

 

 

I can't see poor social skills automatically as a disability or something to be sorry about. We are all different. Quite often those people are also highly intelligent and have a special creative way of thinking, they are often people who can actually change this world.

 

I think the main probem is that people with poor social skills are almost automatically excluded from communities and often considered mentally challenged as well, even though they might actually be the opposite: having a rich and complex world inside them and being capable of abstract thinking. I have always liked these people and considered myself lucky for having listened to / learned from them while others just chose to turn away.

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Closing this thread, since it has strayed so far off topic -- it's about

something serious, Paloma's accident, and is no place for debates.

 

If you have problems with someone's posts, please take it elsewhere, preferably off the forum.

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