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"Men suck compared to the Man"


ängi

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Your husband won't change, I agree, but that doesn't mean that you should carry on living a day to day situation which you find unsatisfactory, IMO.

If things don't work, they should be fixed or left behind. That is what I think, anyway. There is no point in living a fantasy, because things will only get worse and worse in the future, and you will end up feeling more down about it :dunno:

 

You talk about "your relationship being as good as other people's", as if this is something that is an external factor which you cannot change and that you happen to get lumbered with. Your relationship situation is 100% controlable by you, but you need to do it with your husband, and if things really don't work, then consider other options. I'm not trying to be a knowitall or trying to tell you what to do, but I really do think that you won't be able to hide from reality for very long, and the longer it goes on, the harder the crash will be :wink2:

 

Sometimes, things can be a little bit more complicated than that ..

Glad for you if you can always manage everything that way in your own life.. but it's not always the case for everybody

Even time can be sometimes an useful help.. :dunno:

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I'm super lucky that my husband Andrew is also a huge Mika fan (and MFC's technical admin - some of you know him as Standard Toaster, the one who oversees our server). He's been to nine Mika gigs. :biggrin2: So he totally understands the time I spend on MFC and going to Mika's shows. :wub2:

 

As for those who are married or in a relationship and yet daydream about Mika - while I can't relate on a personal level, I do understand where you're coming from. Someone on the outside can say something like "if your relationship isn't working either fix it or get out of it" but there can be so many things to consider - kids, money, religious beliefs, etc. If you're married to someone who, for example, hates animals and only watches sports, I can understand how it would be easy to daydream about being with someone like Mika who clearly loves dogs and going to the theatre.

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

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i think that it is best to be opened with real life boyfriend/husband then to hide it.

 

My hubby knows i'm a mika fan, knows i'm a mod here, knows i'm on mfc alot, he has met MFCers & he doesn't mind it. He has the same obsession with football :naughty: He loves the sport & is involved in our local team, takes care of their website etc...

Though i share his passion for football, he doesn't share my passion for Mika.

And that's ok, it's probably better that way :aah:

 

That being said, i also have to make choices based on the fact that I have a family. We are still paying for my sons' university / college, which means i will not travel all over the world to follow Mika. My choices right now are based on real life choices and that's the way it should be.

 

Relationships are a two way street, you give and you get.

 

I understand Mika has helped alot of people through hard times, via his music, but he shouldn't be anyone's long life crutch either.... he's "just" a pop star :dunno:

 

Very well said. I have a family, my kids and my husband are my treasures and I would never do anything to harm them, no matter how much I love Mika and his music. There are different ways to be a fan. If I had found Mika a bit earlier (when my kids were younger) I would have mostly enjoyed his music at home (as I still did year 2007/2008). Now they are bigger and I can travel a bit.

 

Though I do admit I don't do things in a small way, whatever my hobby/interest is :teehee: I have always done everything in a very passionate way, as long as I remember... And that is not the easiest way to my close ones, but my husband knew it when he married me :roftl:

 

Sometimes, things can be a little bit more complicated than that ..

Glad for you if you can always manage everything that way in your own life.. but it's not always the case for everybody

Even time can be sometimes an useful help.. :dunno:

 

Very wise words too. Sometimes things are complicated. And I can understand that sometimes people are just tired/having a difficult phase in their life, and they need some time to rest and dream. And I don't think it is so dangerous if you keep in mind that there is a difference between real world and Mika world :wink2:

 

I don't escape my marriage (I'm lucky to be still madly in love with my husband, lol) but admit that I sometimes escape my boring duties and jump to Mika world and watch youtube vids for hours...

 

I'm super lucky that my husband Andrew is also a huge Mika fan (and MFC's technical admin - some of you know him as Standard Toaster, the one who oversees our server). He's been to nine Mika gigs. :biggrin2: So he totally understands the time I spend on MFC and going to Mika's shows. :wub2:

 

As for those who are married or in a relationship and yet daydream about Mika - while I can't relate on a personal level, I do understand where you're coming from. Someone on the outside can say something like "if your relationship isn't working either fix it or get out of it" but there can be so many things to consider - kids, money, religious beliefs, etc. If you're married to someone who, for example, hates animals and only watches sports, I can understand how it would be easy to daydream about being with someone like Mika who clearly loves dogs and going to the theatre.

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

 

I agree with everything, Mana. I tried to say the same above. It's not easy to say people what to do in very different situations :dunno:

 

My husband likes Mika too, he has seen eight gigs so far. And I think he realizes that Mika is very, very important to me (his music makes me happy every day), but he also knows that he is not a threat to my RL.

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IMO Mika is better cause we don't know him and we have an illusion that he is awesome and perfect, but, as we don't know him in the RL, we can't say if he is as amazing as we think. Some men are good some are not that good and some are bad, but compare them to the idea that we have of Mika is a bit stupid, until we meet him in RL, therefore never :naughty:

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I'm super lucky that my husband Andrew is also a huge Mika fan (and MFC's technical admin - some of you know him as Standard Toaster, the one who oversees our server). He's been to nine Mika gigs. :biggrin2: So he totally understands the time I spend on MFC and going to Mika's shows. :wub2:

 

As for those who are married or in a relationship and yet daydream about Mika - while I can't relate on a personal level, I do understand where you're coming from. Someone on the outside can say something like "if your relationship isn't working either fix it or get out of it" but there can be so many things to consider - kids, money, religious beliefs, etc. If you're married to someone who, for example, hates animals and only watches sports, I can understand how it would be easy to daydream about being with someone like Mika who clearly loves dogs and going to the theatre.

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

 

Mana, your analysis is very wise and reasonable...

There are probably as many situations as couples, stories of couples and individuals who make up these couples ..

And IMO it's very risky to judge or even to give advice when you don't know the situation.. :dunno:

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I have to agree with Caroline, Sara, Guy and Mana... Admittedly I'm not in a relationship right now and when I was seeing someone I was fangurling U2, so I can't truly comment on fangurling Mika. I have to say, I tend to tone down my fangurling of certain actors/musicians when I'm with someone, so I don't hurt his feelings/irritate him...

 

 

Actually, when I read this thread I was reminded of some married women who were absolutely obsessed with Edward Cullen and Twilight. They quite happily admitted that their husbands left them because they were that obsessed with Twilight that their husbands couldn't stand it.

 

I can definitely understand fangurling certain famous people (epsecially since I've spend the last month seriously fangurling Adam Clayton :fangurl:) but maybe think about it this way... how would you feel if they spent a massive amount of time talking to other people about their favourite actress/singer (especially talking about her body) and what they wanted to do to her, and also constantly talking about her to you.

 

Wouldn't you feel jealous? Annoyed? Frustrated? Ignored? (Feel free to pick any of the above words)...

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't fantasise about Mika, but maybe tone it down around people who don't understand your love of Mika... and remember, Mika is only a person.. none of us know him personally, so for all we know he couls be a complete twat... :dunno:

 

:aah: I thought the point was to share boyfriends/husbands opnions/reactions towards our way with Mika/MFC, not to compare them with Mika :blink:

 

There'd be some really negative reactions in here if that was the case!

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

 

That's exactly what I wanted to say Mana...

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IMO Mika is better cause we don't know him and we have an illusion that he is awesome and perfect, but, as we don't know him in the RL, we can't say if he is as amazing as we think. Some men are good some are not that good and some are bad, but compare them to the idea that we have of Mika is a bit stupid, until we meet him in RL, therefore never :naughty:

 

This illusion is mostly based on the assumption that he's more available and nice to his fans than some other celebrities.:teehee:

 

Mana, your analysis is very wise and reasonable...

There are probably as many situations as couples, stories of couples and individuals who make up these couples ..

And IMO it's very risky to judge or even to give advice when you don't know the situation.. :dunno:

 

I agree with you Francoise. This problem is not only linked to the "stories of couples", but to ourselves and our personal crisis, expetations, vulnerability...problems you can't solve even if you have best relationship in the world :wink2:

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I'm super lucky that my husband Andrew is also a huge Mika fan (and MFC's technical admin - some of you know him as Standard Toaster, the one who oversees our server). He's been to nine Mika gigs. :biggrin2: So he totally understands the time I spend on MFC and going to Mika's shows. :wub2:

 

As for those who are married or in a relationship and yet daydream about Mika - while I can't relate on a personal level, I do understand where you're coming from. Someone on the outside can say something like "if your relationship isn't working either fix it or get out of it" but there can be so many things to consider - kids, money, religious beliefs, etc. If you're married to someone who, for example, hates animals and only watches sports, I can understand how it would be easy to daydream about being with someone like Mika who clearly loves dogs and going to the theatre.

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

 

Yes, I agree with this. You said it better than me lol.

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I'm super lucky that my husband Andrew is also a huge Mika fan (and MFC's technical admin - some of you know him as Standard Toaster, the one who oversees our server). He's been to nine Mika gigs. :biggrin2: So he totally understands the time I spend on MFC and going to Mika's shows. :wub2:

 

As for those who are married or in a relationship and yet daydream about Mika - while I can't relate on a personal level, I do understand where you're coming from. Someone on the outside can say something like "if your relationship isn't working either fix it or get out of it" but there can be so many things to consider - kids, money, religious beliefs, etc. If you're married to someone who, for example, hates animals and only watches sports, I can understand how it would be easy to daydream about being with someone like Mika who clearly loves dogs and going to the theatre.

 

I see no problem in using this whole Mika world as a form of escapism, but one has to balance escapism with avoidance. Ultimately if there are problems in your relationship that are leading you to daydream about a life with Mika, it would be ideal to discuss these root problems with your husbands/boyfriends - but then again I'm certain some people have husbands/boyfriends who would not willing to have such a conversation. I'm not really sure what else to say - it's a complicated situation. :blink:

 

I like most of what you've said.

 

My husband knows where i spend my whole time, so I can only sympathize to those who keeps it in secret. It would be too hard for me to lead such a double life. So, I'm here not because of escapism. He drove me 3000 km to get to the 2 gigs and back. He likes Mika too, but criticizes him as well - he wants his music to be more perfect than it is, so we argue about it from time to time. My husband is my best friend, my father (thou he is 2 years older), so how I happened to fall in love with Mika - I don't know. I'm completely disagree with people who says - hey, he is just a star, you don't know him, how can you love him? I won't even try to prove something, I know for myself what I feel and don't need others to believe in my feelings.

 

My family is my treasure, but my daydreamings won't do any harm. I don't dream to marry Mika or something like that. I just have a long conversations with him in my mind, we walk together, and what I really wish in my life to be his friend, or work with him. I understand that it is impossible, but the dreams make my life easier - so who cares? I think about Mika simultaneously with doing my everyday routines all the time.

It makes me happy.

There are a lot of different situations. And I understand Francoise and Alba, they are ones of my best friends there, and I'm fully on their side. Husbands are different (I'm amazingly lucky to have mine and afraid even to think what if he didn't like Mika:shocked:), and family situations as well, and only inexperienced people can say: change the situation, solve your family problems; how can you love Mika more than husband - and so on.

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I think I'm quite lucky that I met my husband (way) before I discovered MIKA. Never before MIKA has anyone attracted my mind the way he has and I'm sure no-one ever will either. I bet it would be rather difficult to find a man who would measure up to the image I've created of him. My husband doesn't have to measure up to the images, because I simply don't compare him to MIKA, the former is THE man in my RL and the latter THE man in my dreams and I'm very lucky to have them both. :thumb_yello:

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Agree with DQ & Siu.

 

I've never said that I love Mika more than my husband. It's even more complicated than that :naughty: I prefer not to compare..

 

About the "double life", I just want to share my personal experience about MFC.

I'm 38, married with a man who has quite tough judgments. I have 2 children and I discovered Mika 1 year ago

I can not even explain to me why I got carried away in Mik'a world at this point. I admit that it exceeds the logic and yet I am someone reasonable.

But Mika has made moved something in me. His music carries me and I'm touched by his personality.

I think most of you understand what I mean :wub2:

Anyway, all in my happiness, I'd wanted to share my discovery with my husband.

But I had a wall in front of me :sad:

"Trashy and commercial music, gay singer, singer for young girls, adolescent crisis, ...." :boxed::sneaky2:

I've tried to explain, to argue, to make him listen to his songs, watch videos and gigs...one time.. 2 times.. 3 times .. unsuccessfully :sad:

After a while I dropped it .. (actually not completely, I'm still trying from time to time :naughty:) But what could I do more?

Do we have to split for that? :dunno:

 

Then I found MFC and I was delighted to share my passion with other enthusiatic fans

 

My husband doesn't know about MFC. Not that I'm proud of it, believe me. I find it even quite pathetic to hide as if I was 14 but I don't have the "necessary strengths" to face the trial. In a Fan Club at 38!! Can you imagine? :boxed::aah:

 

Guylaine said: "Relationships are a two way street, you give and you get."

That's very true and I would dream about that :thumb_yello: Unfortunatly, I don't have this chance

 

I'm not complaining, I'm not a poor miserable girl. I'm dealing with the conditions of my life and try my best to assume my real life

 

Mika is just my sunshine and I'm happy with it :wub2:

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I like most of what you've said.

 

My husband knows where i spend my whole time, so I can only sympathize to those who keeps it in secret. It would be too hard for me to lead such a double life. So, I'm here not because of escapism. He drove me 3000 km to get to the 2 gigs and back. He likes Mika too, but criticizes him as well - he wants his music to be more perfect than it is, so we argue about it from time to time. My husband is my best friend, my father (thou he is 2 years older), so how I happened to fall in love with Mika - I don't know. I'm completely disagree with people who says - hey, he is just a star, you don't know him, how can you love him? I won't even try to prove something, I know for myself what I feel and don't need others to believe in my feelings.

 

My family is my treasure, but my daydreamings won't do any harm. I don't dream to marry Mika or something like that. I just have a long conversations with him in my mind, we walk together, and what I really wish in my life to be his friend, or work with him. I understand that it is impossible, but the dreams make my life easier - so who cares? I think about Mika simultaneously with doing my everyday routines all the time.

It makes me happy.

There are a lot of different situations. And I understand Francoise and Alba, they are ones of my best friends there, and I'm fully on their side. Husbands are different (I'm amazingly lucky to have mine and afraid even to think what if he didn't like Mika:shocked:), and family situations as well, and only inexperienced people can say: change the situation, solve your family problems; how can you love Mika more than husband - and so on.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for understand me Lena.It's important for me.:huglove:

 

People can't understand a situation if they are not living

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Siu, I just thought that you are so right! How lucky I am too that met Mika only now, otherwise I would compare men to him and would left alone..

Francoise, fan club in 38 it's so cool! I'm a bit younger, but anyway deep inside we feel like 20 are we? I bet that now you look younger even in your appearance!

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Siu, I just thought that you are so right! How lucky I am too that met Mika only now, otherwise I would compare men to him and would left alone..

Francoise, fan club in 38 it's so cool! I'm a bit younger, but anyway deep inside we feel like 20 are we? I bet that now you look younger even in your appearance!

 

A bit off topic maybe, but the lyrics in one of Katie Melua's song go "feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen". This is exactly how I feel. Have been feeling for the last 5 months :wub2:

 

Francoise - my husband likes MIKAmusic and he accepts me liking it to the extent that I do, but I still haven't told him about MFC. Simply because there are things in life I choose to keep to myself. I doubt he would have anything against me spending time here (unless he found out HOW much time I spend here :wink2:) but I like him thinking that I'm a busy woman working on my computer all the time :naughty:

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I'm completely disagree with people who says - hey, he is just a star, you don't know him, how can you love him? I won't even try to prove something, I know for myself what I feel and don't need others to believe in my feelings.

 

I don't know if anyone is disputing your feelings so much as saying that you are not basing your feelings on a real person, but on a not entirely accurate image. But I suppose that's the process we go through with everyone we meet, which explains how some can go from infatuation to love to an unhappy marriage with someone they have nothing in common with - all with the same person.

 

I find it even quite pathetic to hide as if I was 14 but I don't have the "necessary strengths" to face the trial. In a Fan Club at 38!! Can you imagine? :boxed::aah:

 

I think many of us can imagine. :roftl:

 

People can't understand a situation if they are not living

 

I hope you find some happiness. :original:

 

Just for the record, I'm feeling more like 14!

 

Ha, me too!

 

I doubt he would have anything against me spending time here (unless he found out HOW much time I spend here :wink2:) but I like him thinking that I'm a busy woman working on my computer all the time :naughty:

 

:lmfao: Even my boss doesn't believe that.

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Francoise, fan club in 38 it's so cool! I'm a bit younger, but anyway deep inside we feel like 20 are we? I bet that now you look younger even in your appearance!

 

That's funny indeed :naughty: I'm quite comfortable with it ..well.. almost.. as long as I'm here surrounded by you all :roftl:

Don't know if I look younger but at least I feel like that ...

 

 

I'm in a fan club pushing 70;

can you imagine?

No one but MIKA could do that!

 

Congrats Alice, you rock :thumb_yello:

Guess you are right for Mika :wub2:

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I'm in a fan club pushing 70;

can you imagine?

No one but MIKA could do that!

 

Well, we can join the fan club 50, 60 and 70 for sure.:teehee:

Mika is like time machine - brings back you in the most wonderful years of your life or makes things as they happen for the first time :wub2:

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:thumb_yello: Very well said, ppl!

Just have to tell that having dreams and being imaginative is not the opposite of being realistic.

It deppends on the person in which way they want to face their own life, because doing this sometimes is not as easy as it seems. I would not discuss anyone's life. If my mother had got divorced I would probably not being studying at University at that time, and my brother may be miles away from me... There's lots of different situations.

I'm a realistic person when I face situations of the real life. But I may not be strong enough so I need a world to escape sometimes. I think it's all about that when we talk about Mika's World, the world he made himself to escape from real life that now he is sharing with and make us live a day-a-day much more happy. If I weren't in my own world sometimes I would probably not be as good as I am at programming and I wouldn't have written three fantasy books. On them exists my secret world I wished to live in.:wink2:

 

And, talking about the subject this thread was created for, I am not a crazy fan when I am going out with someone. But I always share my passion for Mika's music, world and even himself to everyone I know. Some people accept it better than others.

I am the kind of person that never hides their secrets when it's seriously on a relactionship with someone -no matter if it's a lover or a friend-. In fact, all my close friends and classmates know I love Mika in some way or another, and they accept it -more or less xD-.

My last boyfriend knew about my passion about Mika-related-things and understood it. He was crazily obsessed with a Metal-Band, especially with the male singer. I didn't understand why he loved them, but I accepted it. :)

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I don't know if anyone is disputing your feelings so much as saying that you are not basing your feelings on a real person, but on a not entirely accurate image. But I suppose that's the process we go through with everyone we meet, which explains how some can go from infatuation to love to an unhappy marriage with someone they have nothing in common with - all with the same person

yes, it is very interesting thing, about knowing people. We can learn a man who lives besides for years, and still don't know him. Well, I know my husband. But as for friends... Recently I understood that I know about Mika more than about my friends (even if half of I know is his .. Hmmm fantasizing). It it awful? It looks like yes, but I can't force myself to feel ashamed about it, because my best friend is my husband, and all the others are far less imporatnt for me than Mika. This is the way I'm obsessed. And unashamed. But I always was an aloner, so I feel very comfortable about it.

 

I'm in a fan club pushing 70;

can you imagine?

No one but MIKA could do that!

say what? Should I blame it on my English - but it seemed to me you said you are 70?? Sorry if I didn't understand.

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This is the way I'm obsessed. And unashamed.

 

I have been very obsessive like that too so I know what you mean. I've been lucky that throughout the years I've been able to find people who share my obsession of the moment.

 

I wasn't so crazy about my husband though so he had to go. :naughty:

 

 

say what? Should I blame it on my English - but it seemed to me you said you are 70?? Sorry if I didn't understand.

 

That's what she says, but I swear she doesn't even look 50 in real life!!! :shocked:

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So.. Basicly.. It's not the same as "I love you, but face it, he's Mika"

So, what's the point.. you girls have boyfriends?? And how do they respect your feelings againts Mika? :teehee:

 

Well..I don't have a boyfriend atm, but if I did, he'd have to respect my taste, end of story. I mean, he didn't have to be a fan, he didn't have to go with me to the gigs and all...but he would have to respect the fact that I really like Mika as an artist and that he actually is an inspiration in some points. My last boyfriend hated going to gigs (which is actually one of my biggest "addictions"), but I never stopped going to gigs because of that. I respected his opinion, tho. :dunno:

 

Of course I wouldn't prefer an artist to a boyfriend, but I wouldn't compare them either.

 

Yes, Mika is extremely talented, he's sweet, he's intelligent and hell, he's gorgeous. But I don't know him, I just met him twice. He can be a pain in the a$$ for all I know... :roftl: Nah, not really, but you got the point! :wink2:

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