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Discussion - Why the fandom could be more child-friendly


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This is my first time commenting on the forum, but I think it's a serious matter. I'm 21 years old and I must say that I agree with Chandler. Whenever I look at mika's posts there are Always comments sexualising him, even on "regular" posts. I've been part of the fandom for about 10 years, and I know that when I was 13yo I would have been rather shocked by that kind of comments. The younger fans did not choose to come upon that kind of content for one thing, but also sexualising a celebrity can make anyone uncomfortable (including me, as a sex repulsed person with PTSD). I think that if you want to post that kind of content, you should have a private account that specifies "-18" or tw with "nsfw content" or something of the sort. I don't really care wether people who say that sort of things are 18 or 47, I just think there are easy ways to avoid forcing young fans and people who can be triggered to see that content, and yet no one seems to really think about it for a second. Our acts have consequences and it would be sad that in such a kind fandom we don't take in account and would rather ignore a part of it who isn't of age to or doesn't enjoy that content 

this being said, have a nice day everyone!

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Wow, so many thoughtful, well-considered posts here. It's very interesting to read such a variety of viewpoints.   I was going to quote a lot of things, but there were so many comments that

About that, it wasn't the first time he got asked questions about Mika and Andy (and answered them), but so far it was about working with them and stuff like that, and nothing personal, especially not

This is certainly an interesting discussion and one I think should be discussed openly and honestly, here at MFC I like to think that it's safe to do so.   This is my take on the subject, so

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Chandler, would you allow me to post a more general question on your thread this evening. I could open another thread, but I'm not sure it would be useful to create too many question concerns of course the publications made on Mika.

If a mod can give her opinion, it will be welcome.

 

 

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This is certainly an interesting discussion and one I think should be discussed openly and honestly, here at MFC I like to think that it's safe to do so.

 

This is my take on the subject, sorry in advance for it being quite long.

 

I agree with a lot of points already made in this thread. It can be uncomfortable to read sexualised comments about Mika (or anyone for that matter!) but I think this can be regardless of age. Whether this is minors who haven't learned about the dangers of social media or adults who actually do know better and do feel uncomfortable reading such comments.

 

Also when it comes to someone actually posting a comment, again I'm not too sure it's always down to age. Some minors (for me that's anyone under 18, I know some people might think differently) are going to want to explore sex, and I don't just mean the physical aspect of it. Young people may well project their feelings onto someone they admire, whether this is a celebrity or someone they're close to, it really doesn't matter because if they're posting something with a sexual intent then it's always going to be seen or read in the wrong way by the good people who know it's wrong and by people who can't emphasise with minors and just think what they're posting is disgusting. We should always try to emphasise with minors (and others!) when they post something sexualised, misconstrued or even unkind. We have no idea what they're going through and we should learn to be better on both sides.

 

- whole different story if someone's a bully on social media, bullies don't deserve empathy! -

 

As for adults posting sexualised comments, it's already been said here that we think they should know better but a lot of adults just don't. I wonder if a lot of adults will post something wrong because they feel like they can get away with it, because they're adults. It's so easy to use the anonymity of social media to be whoever you want to be and maybe not care about the consequences. Again it's also been mentioned that some adults just want to re-live their youth and continue to share their feelings, whether innocent or otherwise, so anyone part of an older generation will post whatever they want to so that they still feel young too. It does become a problem when adults have this attitude of not caring and refuse to learn and change their behaviour, that's when it can become almost creepy knowing that an adult is thinking that way about a celebrity and making it public. I've come across some comments on twitter where adults seem to be proud of what they say regardless of whether their married, single, straight or gay. It's these types of people that really don't care who sees their comments.

 

I also want to discuss a little about fanfiction which is also a controversial topic. It's all well and good writing a story about someone you admire but writing something that is NSFW and posting in a very public place online certainly causes some issues. I personally find this aspect of sexualising someone very uncomfortable. However I have seen some younger people start writing fanfic just as a way to get their feelings out, but then some people might be influenced by other things they've read (usually online) and start to explore adult content and put that into their own stories, creating new fantasies and in turn then sexualising the person they admire. Most Mika related fanfic I've come across has not been written by an innocent young person, there often disgusting sex stories written by adults. I do wish there was a way to stop people sharing such things online, especially on social media, if people want to write that kind of thing maybe find a private chat website or better yet keep it to themselves!

 

There's always going to be comments posted across social media that we, the good people, will think is wrong, offensive or down right disgusting. There's someone behind those comments, a complete stranger who we don't know. We can't change their behaviour. We can't physically stop them from pressing send on an indecent post. What we can do is report and block anyone that is continually posting horrible comments. We might all say "it's just all down to common sense", but everyone's version of common sense is going to be different. We can also continue this discussion and hope that anyone coming into this fandom (or any fandom really!) will understand and want to learn how to behave amongst everyone else.

 

Now a few things that are more personal to me:

 

In all the 13 years of following Mika, as much as I love him, I have never fantasised about him in a sexual way. Not when I was in my teens, not when I was discovering my sexuality and not into adulthood. I love him for who he is and as a human being that I aspire to be like. That's not to say that I don't recognise him as a sex symbol for other people and that doesn't mean I don't have sexual feelings for other celebrities, because I do! I'm only human and it's perfectly normal to feel a certain way about someone who can only ever be a dream. However I'm not going to start declaring my love for them online or saying what I think about certain celebrities in private, I would never do that!

 

When I post something I always take into consideration who's going to see it, I rarely post anything considered indecent but if I ever posted something NSFW then I would do so with a content warning. I've been wanting to have a writing thread here for a while now but I've had these irrational thoughts thinking that what if people use it to post weird fanfic. I know that's really silly to think about and I probably will launch a writing thread soon, but at least I'm being considerate of what minors (or anyone) might see here.

 

Lastly can Mika fans over on twitter stop with the furry hate? Someone posted a video recently of when Mika used to wear the animal costumes back in the day and instantly there were comments like "ew a furry, keep away from my dog" and "Mika wants to do it in costumes while thinking about animals, that's disgusting." I've been weary of saying this before now but I'm gonna say it, I'm part of the Furry community and we don't all fantasise about animals! I've wanted to mention this in the LGBT Younglings thread but I've been fearful of how people might react. It's something to discuss another time, I don't want to go off topic here about Furry community discourse. I can explain more about Furries later!

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32 minutes ago, miknikel said:

Chandler, would you allow me to post a more general question on your thread this evening. I could open another thread, but I'm not sure it would be useful to create too many question concerns of course the publications made on Mika.

If a mod can give her opinion, it will be welcome.

 

 

of course no worries! we're here to discuss, ask away :)

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5 minutes ago, TinyLove_CJ said:

This is certainly an interesting discussion and one I think should be discussed openly and honestly, here at MFC I like to think that it's safe to do so.

 

This is my take on the subject, sorry in advance for it being quite long.

 

I agree with a lot of points already made in this thread. It can be uncomfortable to read sexualised comments about Mika (or anyone for that matter!) but I think this can be regardless of age. Whether this is minors who haven't learned about the dangers of social media or adults who actually do know better and do feel uncomfortable reading such comments.

 

Also when it comes to someone actually posting a comment, again I'm not too sure it's always down to age. Some minors (for me that's anyone under 18, I know some people might think differently) are going to want to explore sex, and I don't just mean the physical aspect of it. Young people may well project their feelings onto someone they admire, whether this is a celebrity or someone they're close to, it really doesn't matter because if they're posting something with a sexual intent then it's always going to be seen or read in the wrong way by the good people who know it's wrong and by people who can't emphasise with minors and just think what they're posting is disgusting. We should always try to emphasise with minors (and others!) when they post something sexualised, misconstrued or even unkind. We have no idea what they're going through and we should learn to be better on both sides.

 

- whole different story if someone's a bully on social media, bullies don't deserve empathy! -

 

As for adults posting sexualised comments, it's already been said here that we think they should know better but a lot of adults just don't. I wonder if a lot of adults will post something wrong because they feel like they can get away with it, because they're adults. It's so easy to use the anonymity of social media to be whoever you want to be and maybe not care about the consequences. Again it's also been mentioned that some adults just want to re-live their youth and continue to share their feelings, whether innocent or otherwise, so anyone part of an older generation will post whatever they want to so that they still feel young too. It does become a problem when adults have this attitude of not caring and refuse to learn and change their behaviour, that's when it can become almost creepy knowing that an adult is thinking that way about a celebrity and making it public. I've come across some comments on twitter where adults seem to be proud of what they say regardless of whether their married, single, straight or gay. It's these types of people that really don't care who sees their comments.

 

I also want to discuss a little about fanfiction which is also a controversial topic. It's all well and good writing a story about someone you admire but writing something that is NSFW and posting in a very public place online certainly causes some issues. I personally find this aspect of sexualising someone very uncomfortable. However I have seen some younger people start writing fanfic just as a way to get their feelings out, but then some people might be influenced by other things they've read (usually online) and start to explore adult content and put that into their own stories, creating new fantasies and in turn then sexualising the person they admire. Most Mika related fanfic I've come across has not been written by an innocent young person, there often disgusting sex stories written by adults. I do wish there was a way to stop people sharing such things online, especially on social media, if people want to write that kind of thing maybe find a private chat website or better yet keep it to themselves!

 

There's always going to be comments posted across social media that we, the good people, will think is wrong, offensive or down right disgusting. There's someone behind those comments, a complete stranger who we don't know. We can't change their behaviour. We can't physically stop them from pressing send on an indecent post. What we can do is report and block anyone that is continually posting horrible comments. We might all say "it's just all down to common sense", but everyone's version of common sense is going to be different. We can also continue this discussion and hope that anyone coming into this fandom (or any fandom really!) will understand and want to learn how to behave amongst everyone else.

 

Now a few things that are more personal to me:

 

In all the 13 years of following Mika, as much as I love him, I have never fantasised about him in a sexual way. Not when I was in my teens, not when I was discovering my sexuality and not into adulthood. I love him for who he is and as a human being that I aspire to be like. That's not to say that I don't recognise him as a sex symbol for other people and that doesn't mean I don't have sexual feelings for other celebrities, because I do! I'm only human and it's perfectly normal to feel a certain way about someone who can only ever be a dream. However I'm not going to start declaring my love for them online or saying what I think about certain celebrities in private, I would never do that!

 

When I post something I always take into consideration who's going to see it, I rarely post anything considered indecent but if I ever posted something NSFW then I would do so with a content warning. I've been wanting to have a writing thread here for a while now but I've had these irrational thoughts thinking that what if people use it to post weird fanfic. I know that's really silly to think about and I probably will launch a writing thread soon, but at least I'm being considerate of what minors (or anyone) might see here.

 

Lastly can Mika fans over on twitter stop with the furry hate? Someone posted a video recently of when Mika used to wear the animal costumes back in the day and instantly there were comments like "ew a furry, keep away from my dog" and "Mika wants to do it in costumes while thinking about animals, that's disgusting." I've been weary of saying this before now but I'm gonna say it, I'm part of the Furry community and we don't all fantasise about animals! I've wanted to mention this in the LGBT Younglings thread but I've been fearful of how people might react. It's something to discuss another time, I don't want to go off topic here about Furry community discourse. I can explain more about Furries later!

Thanks a lot for your comment, you explained everything clearly and I agree with you completely! 

 

I really don't think you can justify posting that kind of content without first checkin where it'll be and who can see it. I talked to quite a bunch of people these days, and yes, creepy is what I'd use to describe the general reaction. 

 

It's clearly impossible to prevent this content from being posted, but at least get a private instagram account or something similar! At least it will be viewed by people that want to.

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1 hour ago, chanleon said:
1 hour ago, chanleon said:

Okay I'll try to be as clear and concise as possible.

 

1. Sexualising is not fun. Sexualising considered in the sense of treating a person like an object for own (sexual) pleasure. 

2. Freedom of speech (you should be able to react how you want) has a limit and that is when it makes someone uncomfortable, when it attacks someone else's freedom etc.

 For example, I may have the right to comment whatever I want, but people also have the right to stay on social medias in peace. We're talking about comments or behaviours that are totally uncalled for. 

Ignoring is, therefore, not the solution: why don't we just ignore white supremacy or other issues? It sounds like saying "I won't care til it affects me directly" and I don't really agree with that mentality.

3. The limit for users on IG is 13. It has never really been respected, yes. But hey! 13 year olds are minors just like 11 year olds. Literally nothing changes. And I fear a 13 year old does not appreciate people the age of their parents' commenting "I'd want to f*** you" under posts of their favourite artist. Saying that there's worse things doesn't make this better.

 

My main idea is that saying "just ignore it and grow up" isn't the way you tackle things. I mean, Trump is cringe lately, that's how he is! 

I'm making exaggerated examples but it's sounding similarly to the ones related to this topc, so I hope I'm getting the point across.

 

I don't think making this thread is "cringe". I think it's plain disgusting that people are so frustrated about their lives that they live their sexual fantasies publicly, online, in a community of all ages, with a guy that never consented and -sorry ladies- never will.

 

 

You keep saying the "age of their parents" as if when old people say something it's automatically not ok, but if I were to do the same it would be fine because I'm not old? I think there's something more behind this thread seems to be some vendetta about the older fan club members no matter what they do. Give them a break.

 

1 hour ago, krysady said:

But I'm sure that no one is having a problem with funny comments, that would be silly :dunno:  It's about the obscenity expressed in public, and that can be even more disturbing when it comes from some adults' part. For sure talking here won't stop it or change much, but I think it's good that we can try to discuss about this topic and hear more opinions.

They're just having a  bit of fun. If you don't like a comment and it's scarred you so much you can hold down on it and report it.

 

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4 minutes ago, krysady said:

Definitely we have a different point of view about fun.

I'm just saying so many young people are exposed to way more. Sexual advertisements on the side of online games, even going to school they'll be exposed to some of that. You can't keep them wrapped in a cocoon forever especially if they're using social media. I would agree if you trained young people to like be safe online etc. However, there's no way to stop stuff like this especially with anonymity online being a thing. Also some of these young people are toxic too and have no filter already you should see some of the stuff they joke about you'd be astonished. So yes, I do think it's funny and you should try see the funny side of it too with all that's going on this year it's the least of our problems.

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7 minutes ago, XaviMarc said:

Also some of these young people are toxic too and have no filter already you should see some of the stuff they joke about you'd be astonished.

Here I agree with you, that's also disgusting and have no excuse for that behavior. If you pretend respect, you should offer respect in return as well, no matter the age :thumb_yello: 

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11 hours ago, chanleon said:

Exactly. The "drooling" emoji x20 might seem funny and cheeky to a 30 year old but kind of odd to a 12 year old. 

It's -again- a minority of people that makes it especially uncomfortable for us and not the entire fandom.

We just wanted to politely ask those certain people that are aware of the sometimes indecent comments they make to think of how this fandom includes people from all ages that may not be comfortable with people's explicit thoughts put in a comments section. 

 

As said, there's also people my age who comment that kind of things and we lowkey discuss constantly. At least we hoped mature adults would realise that there's a bit of a limit to public decency on social medias too, considering that anonimity in this fandom often doesn't count given that it's usually personal profiles

To say the truth I don´t read all comments on Twitter an no comments on IG, the comments I read are the ones of people I know and that´s why I didn´t get what you were talking about. After talking to a friend who showed me a few of the commenst you were talking about I get your point. And yes I also don´t want to read about these fantasies whether on Twitter, Ig or MFC. 

But I doubt we can change anything about that with a discussion here. Even when those people would read the discussion here they won´t change their behaviour.......

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Wow, so many thoughtful, well-considered posts here. It's very interesting to read such a variety of viewpoints.

 

I was going to quote a lot of things, but there were so many comments that it got a bit awkward. So instead I'll just quote CJ here:

 

3 hours ago, TinyLove_CJ said:

In all the 13 years of following Mika, as much as I love him, I have never fantasised about him in a sexual way. Not when I was in my teens, not when I was discovering my sexuality and not into adulthood. I love him for who he is and as a human being that I aspire to be like. That's not to say that I don't recognise him as a sex symbol for other people...

 

This sums up quite nicely exactly how I feel about Mika :wub2:  and in a way also how I feel about this subject.

 

As one of the older fans, both in age and in length of time on the forum, I've seen that sexualizing pop stars, sports stars, all manner of celebrities actually, has been going on forever. I doubt that anything we say here is going to change that. Take a look at some of the old photos and videos of Elvis Presley or the Beatles and their fans -- all ages and genders went absolutely nuts at the mere hint of something suggestive, whether it was a flip of the hair, a curl of the lip, or a sway of the hips. There was no Twitter or Instagram to leave comments on, but I have no doubt if social media had existed then, there would have been plenty of comments and they wouldn't all have been "innocent."

 

I'm not saying that treating a person, ANY person, as a sex object is a good thing, just that this behavior predates social media, Mika and his fans.

 

If you skim through all the old threads here on MFC, you'll find a section called Mika's Attributes Appreciation, under Chat About Mika. In there, you'll find threads dedicated to almost every part of Mika's anatomy, from his hair to his eyes to his nose all the way down to his toes. These threads go back to the earliest days of this forum, and there were *numerous* fans posting in those threads of all ages, from young teenagers to grannies and grandpas. Mika is undeniably an attractive man, I find him adorable, but I must say that I don't dream about him, and have never felt the need to objectify him or any part of his body.

 

BUT.

 

A lot of fans do. A LOT. Just like a lot of fans seem to feel the need to mock him when he makes a mistake or misspells a word, or a make a meme when he makes a funny face or says something comical. Or, as CJ pointed out, write cringe-worthy sexual fan-fiction about him. I personally cringe at all of that, but who am I to judge? It seems there are many different facets of fandom. I learn something new about it every day, in fact.

 

And so for many people, Mika is a sex symbol, whether he likes it or not, whether we like it or not.

 

So, the moderators here decided to let those threads stand, even if we found them to be rather objectionable, and put them in their own special section of the forum, so that those who want to look over the photos and read/write comments can find them there.

 

And that's where our responsibility and authority end -- here on the MFC forum. As moderators here on MFC, we can "moderate" to a degree the way our members behave, but we're not in a position to police or attempt to control how fans, even MFCers, behave in the greater world outside of the confines of MFC.

 

Now, just because I say I don't think we're going to change the world, or even change one person, that doesn't mean I think this sort of conversation is a waste of time. I think it's invaluable to have these discussions, which give us a chance to reflect on how others see us and how we perceive others. So thanks to everyone participating in the exchange of ideas here -- while Twitter and other social media have their place, it's discussions like this that confirm for me that this platform has not outlived its usefulness!

 

Sort of related to this subject, I'll share something that happened to me the other day. Someone actually wrote to me privately on Instagram the other day, and asked if Mika was not gay, would I have sex with him? You want to talk about "cringe"? I cringed. I'm sure the sender was a younger person, and possibly thought I was their same age. But did they think such a question was funny? :rolleyes: The question is so totally inappropriate -- I mean, who would ask a stranger such a thing about ANYONE out of the blue like that? And even if Mika was not gay, I am 24, count 'em, 24 years older than him, and by the way, I'm married, and have been married for 39 years, it's a vow that I take seriously. So if that sender knew me, I hope that they would not have even dared to ask such a question... but the point is this: how can you control what random people say and do? Obviously, you can't. :dunno:

 

Anyhow, I've rambled too long... I'll just close by saying, @TinyLove_CJ please feel free to open a writing thread. I promise we will not let it become a "weird fanfic" thread! :thumb_yello:

 

 

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So, let me just make this clear again: In my first post on here when I said Mika doesn't mind, I did NOT mean people telling him they want to have sex with him. I was talking about my own comments, which are telling him in different (imo respectful) ways that he looks attractive, and from what I gathered that isn't the problem you're talking about. Like Sabine, I hadn't (still haven't) seen those comments in question - not sure if that's because social media shows me mostly the comments that me and my friends might be interested in the most, and/or just because I usually don't scroll down to read everything. Especially posts in different languages, I only click on those if I think it's news about Mika, or an interesting discussion, because I have to let Twitter translate those for me (Instagram doesn't do that - and even with the translation I still don't always get the meaning).

 

So yeah, if you say that those who write such comments aren't the ones who are discussing here, I suppose we mostly agree. :dunno_grin: It's still good to have this discussion, because maybe those whom it concerns might read it at some point and think more before they post. 

 

As for those of you who talked about calling people out: I think it's always a better choice to write to the person in private, and just tell them about your concerns in a polite way - specifically relating to the comment/s in question, because no one will be happy to hear that you generally think of them as a bad and respectless person. Either they're interested in a discussion with you and take your concerns seriously, or they aren't - in the latter case, nothing will change anyway, no matter what you say. If you can't reach them privately, because you only know them on Twitter and they don't follow you there, maybe you can also answer to the Tweet in question with a link to this thread. I think these would be appropriate and polite ways to let people know that a certain post by them offended you, and discuss it with them. If you're open for a discussion yourself, of course. Not everyone is, on both sides. Just posting a general "some people post offensive stuff" on Instagram won't change anything. So it's good Chandler that you opened this thread, to discuss these things. :thumb_yello:

 

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1 hour ago, dcdeb said:

Now, just because I say I don't think we're going to change the world, or even change one person, that doesn't mean I think this sort of conversation is a waste of time. I think it's invaluable to have these discussions, which give us a chance to reflect on how others see us and how we perceive others.

I agree here. If we never start an open discussion like this then we'll never know how people are going to feel. I'm glad we have a forum based website for Mika fans, and keeping threads open/visible allows others to see how we're taking in each other's views and having a polite discussion amongst fans of all ages.

 

1 hour ago, dcdeb said:

Anyhow, I've rambled too long... I'll just close by saying, @TinyLove_CJ please feel free to open a writing thread. I promise we will not let it become a "weird fanfic" thread! :thumb_yello:

Thank you! I will get round to it soon 😊

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14 hours ago, XaviMarc said:

You keep saying the "age of their parents" as if when old people say something it's automatically not ok, but if I were to do the same it would be fine because I'm not old? I think there's something more behind this thread seems to be some vendetta about the older fan club members no matter what they do. Give them a break.

Thank you to everyone who commented.

I'd say the discussion is pretty much ending, I just want to clarify one more thing because apparently I need to.

The thing about age is that the popular belief was that adults are more responsible, mature and open to dialogue. So while it's equally weird when a 14 year old makes this kind of remarks, it's kind of creepy when adults make sexual remarks because you'd think they know better. We discussed this already and saw that a minority does not.

But no, I won't be coming for anyone older than 30 for vendetta, sorry. This whole fandom was created by great people and I really don't think this is some kind of war between generations. :')

 

The main point was think twice about posting instead of thinking that people you're making uncomfortable are just special snowflakes that are being too sensitive :)

 

10 hours ago, mellody said:

So yeah, if you say that those who write such comments aren't the ones who are discussing here, I suppose we mostly agree. :dunno_grin: It's still good to have this discussion, because maybe those whom it concerns might read it at some point and think more before they post. 

Secondly, absolutely! No one of the people me or Jae or Susan or all of the others had in mind joined our discussion, which was predictable. However I was happy to discuss this on a forum and not in a DM chat with one person at a time because really great points were made, so thanks again for coming down to discuss with us!

Have a great day everyone

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4 hours ago, chanleon said:

Secondly, absolutely! No one of the people me or Jae or Susan or all of the others had in mind joined our discussion, which was predictable. However I was happy to discuss this on a forum and not in a DM chat with one person at a time because really great points were made, so thanks again for coming down to discuss with us!

Hey I have not said a word so far, don't make me canon fodder again now sjsjs. But it has been really interesting to read all of this and i'm glad someone finally started talking about this! 

I would say it is not even so much about protecting as it is about respecting. Like, as with all internet interactions: if you wouldnt say it to someone in person, why would you say it at all? Or maybe some people would say their sexual fantasies to his face, we have after all already had a person buying him a gay kamasutra book, so oh well :'). 

I think it's important at least that it's being discussed cause certain behaviours are definitely a little too normalized. I know a 15 year old who deactivated her insta fanpage because older people kept commenting weird things under her uploads (which were just regular photos of Mika) and they wouldn't listen to her when she asked them to stop. And just the other week a distressed 14 year old who had seen things she didn't want to and shouldn't have seen came into my dms and kept asking me why these people do that and why they think that's normal? I didn't have the answers, but i think this shows that the issue is quite real. You need only browse the posts he is tagged in on both insta and twitter for a little while to stumble upon something... odd. And it's definitely some more "prominent" fans who do that too, although obviously they're keeping quiet now. Which is a little sad, cause i would love to hear their perspective and their explanation as to why they think their comments are okay!

To round it up obviously everybody is free to say whatever they want *cough* but it helps a lot when people know that the stuff they say won't generate likes, laughs and 😍😍😍 emojis, but rather some raised eyebrows and weird looks. So yeah that's why i think it's good that people who would maybe normally stay quiet are speaking out more publicly now and express that this type of thirsty behaviour is inappropriate and uncomfortable. 

I hope this made sense ha peace out have a gr8 afternoon all xx

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6 hours ago, chanleon said:

The main point was think twice about posting instead of thinking that people you're making uncomfortable are just special snowflakes that are being too sensitive :)

 

I do think that this is one of the most important points that we all should remember.

 

Stop and think that what you write on the internet is there forever, for anyone to see, comment on, share and reshare. I wish everyone would think twice before they post, not just on social media, but here as well. Hindsight is always 20/20, as they say, but I can't tell you how many fans write and ask us to delete their accounts now because of things they wrote a few years ago. I guess I make up for people who don't think twice, as I think 3, 4, 5 or more times before I say anything! :dunno_grin:

 

 

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2 hours ago, dcdeb said:

 

I do think that this is one of the most important points that we all should remember.

 

Stop and think that what you write on the internet is there forever, for anyone to see, comment on, share and reshare. I wish everyone would think twice before they post, not just on social media, but here as well. Hindsight is always 20/20, as they say, but I can't tell you how many fans write and ask us to delete their accounts now because of things they wrote a few years ago. I guess I make up for people who don't think twice, as I think 3, 4, 5 or more times before I say anything! :dunno_grin:

 

 

Yes! Especially today, I mean some of the adults may never be in this kind of situation but still a lot of employers look at applicants' social media profiles.. some things really may not make the best impression! :) 

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4 hours ago, chanleon said:

my vendetta has no age c:<

well at least you're not an ageist 🙏. i know what it's like, i've been ok boomered before. and im 22! age discrimination is no joke 😪

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Hi there , I'm sorry to be late to answer to this interresting topic .

 

The good thing about being late is that I just can tell that I absolutely agree with what many of you said and especially @dcdeb and @TinyLove_CJ:bow: 

 I just have to add some little thoughts tho

 

I don't know if it's because I'm living under a cave must of time  , if I don't follow the "right" persons or just don't have enought time to scroll down every single comment about Mika but I didn't see these "f........g" comments you mentionned.:facepalm:

 

But sadly I  saw some very rude comments after some French  advertising for "I love Beyruth" with stuff for every hater's taste .....homophobia , xenophobia , jealousy because he's rich and famous and so on........probably all much harder to see that the hottest comments from fantasing fans  (that even if I'm not the kind of person to do that , I'd still see as a sign of too much love  )

I'm probably quite oldfashion but besides what you pointed out , that's another reason why  I think that SM is not a place to leave kids or young teens alone . I think that it's also their parents responsability to take care that they are not facing things that they are not ready for.

 

Another thing is that the most we quote , comment and discuss  shocking posts publicly on SM  ,like saying "look at this , this is a bad person or a bad comment"  ,the most we're giving visibility to these stuff .I know it's sometimes hard to be silent when things are getting on our  nerves , but the more we give publicity , the higher the risk is that kids may see unapropriate stuff .

Somebody suggested to send a link to this discussion privately to those who are writing these posts and I think it's a good idea.

Even if they are not going to explain here , and I don't expect them to do so because we're not a court and none of us is perfect on many different ways , I'm sure that this topic will be usefull and we'll all think twice before posting (at least for a while .....:naughty: )

 

As SM is a free space that we can't pretend to control ,I also think that the young aldults here ,you can have a role by giving advises to the youngsters to protect themselves ( block, unfollow ,signalement......all these possibilities are not available  for nothing ) because kids would probably be more open to learn from you than from people of their parents age . 

Maybe you also could suggest them to have their own safe /private space for themselves . May be on any platform or just asking here to have a specific space with a mod to refer to if there is any kind of problem ( I think that @TinyLove_CJ ,you may be perfect for this as it seems to me that you're quite young and cool)

 

To finish I have to admit that I felt a bit sad to know that some fans consider  heart emojis as kindda sexual assault.

I'm used to post some ones under pictures of Amira and Melachi and I can promise you that I'm not sexualising them ......at all !  :biggrin2:

Love can be about friendship , about loving our family or just showing admiration for somebody who has a great impact on our lives ....... sometimes it's about sex  , but not every single time 

 

 

I hope I was not too long and boring , sorry for my bad English anyway :blush:

 

Just to finish with a joke .....besides "social media" SM means "Sado/Maso" in French .....maybe not only by chance !:lol3:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by carafon
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4 hours ago, carafon said:

 

Another thing is that the most we quote , comment and discuss  shocking posts publicly on SM  ,like saying "look at this , this is a bad person or a bad comment"  ,the most we're giving visibility to these stuff .I know it's sometimes hard to be silent when things are getting on our  nerves , but the more we give publicity , the higher the risk is that kids may see unapropriate stuff .

You're right. In fact I haven't shared any of it bc of that.

For the rest yea, absolutely, we could go on for hours if we had to contextualise every hate comment into topics, there's really an insult for everyone 🤦🏻‍♂️😂

 

 

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7 hours ago, carafon said:

Another thing is that the most we quote , comment and discuss  shocking posts publicly on SM  ,like saying "look at this , this is a bad person or a bad comment"  ,the most we're giving visibility to these stuff .I know it's sometimes hard to be silent when things are getting on our  nerves , but the more we give publicity , the higher the risk is that kids may see unapropriate stuff .

This is a good point, i hadn't really thought about it like that before!

7 hours ago, carafon said:

As SM is a free space that we can't pretend to control ,I also think that the young aldults here ,you can have a role by giving advises to the youngsters to protect themselves ( block, unfollow ,signalement......all these possibilities are not available  for nothing ) because kids would probably be more open to learn from you than from people of their parents age . 

And this too! I really do feel a responsibility for this now that i'm getting a little older, to guide the younger fans away from the creepy people, to teach them what is or isn't okay, etc. 

I think in general younger people keep eachother in check a little more. Like, friends of mine have been asked before to move a certain sexually tinted conversation to the dms, and i too try to *subtly* point out when i think a friend is saying a little too much (but very subtly cause i have no issue calling out strangers, but with friends it feels a little harder somehow, i dont want to hurt their feelings 😅). 

I think older people do this less, probably? They might think it's better to ignore or that it would be impolite or nosy to comment on someone's behaviour, but i think it can be a good thing too. And obviously it's a little harder for a young person to comment on the behaviour of an older person bc of the age gap and the power imbalance, so there could be a role for older people there i think 😌 

Lastly, don't worry about this! 👇. It's all about context and i'm sure everybody will understand the difference between commenting 😍😍😍😍 on a casual Mika photo, a photo of his dogs, etc. vs on a photo of him with a bare chest or whatever. (and even then, the emojis on its own aren't so much the probably, although we young people consider them "cringe", it's more about the stuff they usually write before ending it with a row of heart eye emojis 😅)

7 hours ago, carafon said:

To finish I have to admit that I felt a bit sad to know that some fans consider  heart emojis as kindda sexual assault.  

Edited by Jaela
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