Bullying/Harassment at Gigs and Online

[dcdeb]

Back in 2013, Mika posted this statement when he learned of some bullying/harassment that was going on among fans in the online community:

 

"It has come to my attention over the last few months that some members of my fan community have been behaving badly towards others - call it whatever you want, cyber-bullying, name-calling, internet harassment, being nasty. I have never and will never agree with this conduct. There's nothing I respect more than my fan club community both at shows and online. I do not condone any act of bullying amongst fans or to members of my team. If you're someone who does that, you're no fan of mine. Therefore I respectfully ask everyone to be friendly and supportive to one another, and if you can't do that then please keep your negativity to yourself. I really appreciate my fans and have enjoyed meeting so many amazing people over the years, you make it all worthwhile. Be good to each other. M x"

 

Although a good deal of time has passed, obviously Mika Fan Club, and Mika, still have the same stance on bullying -- it is not to be tolerated. In the MFC Forum Guidelines (which you will find HERE and should read, or re-read!) we clearly state our position:
 

 

• Inappropriate language, images and treatment of other members is prohibited.

   

  This rule applies to all posts, visitor messages, private messages and email communication via MFC, and includes:

   

  Hateful language - including but not limited to racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and/or bigoted speech.

   

  Personal insults and attacks - including name-calling or insults about a person's religion, sex, sexual orientation, race, age, nationality, physical impairment, etc. Do not mock someone because of their appearance, or the way they speak/write, or the amount of time they spend on the forum. Saying your comment was meant as "a joke", or using the rose-colored glasses icon or invisible text to disguise a nasty remark is not acceptable. Just saying you didn't mean something as an insult doesn't make it any less of one.

   

  Trolling – Trolling is posting inflammatory messages with the purpose of provoking an emotional response from other members. This may lead to an immediate ban of unknown members or a warning to established members. If we have reason to believe that someone is telling lies about themselves or their circumstances in order to manipulate or trick other members, this will result in strong disciplinary action.

   

  Obscene or pornographic material – will be deleted, and can also lead to a ban. Moderators may edit or delete any post deemed unsuitable.

Unfortunately, bullying and harassment within the fan community can still occur. If you feel you are a victim of bullying, you should report it to the appropriate authorities. If the bullying occurs on social media, you should report it to the appropriate platform (that is, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc.). If the bullying occurs here on Mika Fan Club forums, then you should report it to one of the moderators or the administrator at @The Mod Team keeping in mind that our authority only extends to activity that takes place on the forum or MFC social media.

 

We have just posted a related announcement here:

 

 

But if you have further comments or suggestions we opened this thread so we can talk here.

 

 

[pascale_geneva]

 

 

 

  

                                                                                                            Mika's cape hanging next to the Arena artists' entrance

 

Hi everyone! 

 

Mika’s concert at the Arena di Verona last week was magnificent. This was the highlight of my stay in Italy along with the few days in Venice with @Michelle Blondet. Nevertheless, I was quite happy to go back home after having been terribly hurt by a group of Mika fans.

 

I would like to draw @dcdeb's  attention to the behaviour of some Mika fans towards other fans.

 

In Verona I was the target of criticism in the most DESPICABLE way. While we were waiting outside to see Mika after dinner, I pointed out to @Anna Ko Kolkowskathe place next to the artists’ entrance where Michelle and I had spotted Mika’s cape in the afternoon (which I posted on Instagram and other social media, and which Michelle also posted later on). The lady standing next to me, who was sitting next to me at the dinner table, said to her friends - all French except one Swiss lady (so far, I do not wish to divulge their names, they should recognise themselves) - that I was imagining things and maybe this was due to the glass of red wine I had! They went on and on and were laughing at me. These ladies surely knew I could hear everything or are they too stupid? Then they started criticising Geraldine, Mika's lovely hairdresser. I dare not repeat what they said. A few minutes later, while I was turning my head a couple of minutes to talk to Michelle, the lady next to me stepped in front of me. As I’m short and she’s tall, you can well imagine that I could not see anything. This behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE!!! I WAS EXTREMELY UPSET and could not stop crying the next morning when I mentioned it to Michelle.

 

By the way, the Swiss lady saw my post with the cape a while later and liked it. She even started following me on Instagram!! Couldn’t she apologise??

 

Other people, such as Michelle and of course @Florine, to name just a few, confided in me and said they had been the target of these fans’ criticism.

 

Mika would be appalled if he knew everything that is going on among his fans.

 

I would like this topic to be addressed during tonight’s live, if possible, or a forthcoming live, as it is just as important as sexual harassment during concerts.

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION ❤️ 

 

[TinyLove_CJ]

2 hours ago, pascale_geneva said:

This behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE!!! I WAS EXTREMELY UPSET and could not stop crying the next morning when I mentioned it to Michelle.

 

It sounds awful the way you were treated by those ladies, it really is unacceptable!

 

There is a thread here for discussing harassment/bullying within the fandom:

 

 

 

[pascale_geneva]

11 hours ago, TinyLove_CJ said:

 

It sounds awful the way you were treated by those ladies, it really is unacceptable!

 

There is a thread here for discussing harassment/bullying within the fandom:

 

 

 

Thank you so much, CJ 😊😘❤️❤️

[Florine]

I've just discovered this topic today and I'm really glad to know it exists.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of problems in this fandom (don't mind me, I know it is happening everywhere and probably in every communities) and I'm glad there's a place where we can speak freely about these kind of things. 

As you might have seen it lately, this problem are worstening and I've been myself a victim of online harrassment. Trust me, it can be hard to be a part of something and to suddenly realise that you are truly nothing. 

 

I'm shy and I usually sat in the queue with my brother or my friends, minding our own business. But even with that behavior some people seems to disapprove or they truly can't support the presence of others.

WE are supposed to be a part of something amazing, something big. But some are just destroying that feeling because they think they are more, they have more values. And I don't speak about myself only but if we are honnest you have probably seen some others fans who were truly, truly close to this community and don't want to come in here anymore because what is happening irl//in private doesn't match with what we're supposed to live. 

 

[pascale_geneva]

4 hours ago, Florine said:

I've just discovered this topic today and I'm really glad to know it exists.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of problems in this fandom (don't mind me, I know it is happening everywhere and probably in every communities) and I'm glad there's a place where we can speak freely about these kind of things. 

As you might have seen it lately, this problem are worstening and I've been myself a victim of online harrassment. Trust me, it can be hard to be a part of something and to suddenly realise that you are truly nothing. 

 

I'm shy and I usually sat in the queue with my brother or my friends, minding our own business. But even with that behavior some people seems to disapprove or they truly can't support the presence of others.

WE are supposed to be a part of something amazing, something big. But some are just destroying that feeling because they think they are more, they have more values. And I don't speak about myself only but if we are honnest you have probably seen some others fans who were truly, truly close to this community and don't want to come in here anymore because what is happening irl//in private doesn't match with what we're supposed to live. 

 

I totally agree with you, Florine. I do not wish to go to any more MFC events, from now on I will only go to Mika's concerts - ON MY OWN!!!

[pascale_geneva]

 

 

This is a re-post of my yesterday's post under

2022 - Mika @Arena di Verona, Italy, 19 September REPORTS / PICS / VIDS :

 

   

 

Hi everyone! 

 

Mika’s concert at the Arena di Verona last week was magnificent. This was the highlight of my stay in Italy along with the few days in Venice with @Michelle Blondet. Nevertheless, I was quite happy to go back home after having been terribly hurt by a group of Mika fans.

 

I would like to draw @dcdeb's  attention to the behaviour of some Mika fans towards other fans.

 

In Verona I was the target of criticism in the most DESPICABLE way. While we were waiting outside to see Mika after dinner, I pointed out to @Anna Ko Kolkowskathe place next to the artists’ entrance where Michelle and I had spotted Mika’s cape in the afternoon (which I posted on Instagram and other social media, and which Michelle also posted later on). The lady standing next to me, who was sitting next to me at the dinner table, said to her friends - all French except one Swiss lady (so far, I do not wish to divulge their names, they should recognise themselves) - that I was imagining things and maybe this was due to the glass of red wine I had! They went on and on and were laughing at me. These ladies surely knew I could hear everything or are they too stupid? Then they started criticising Geraldine, Mika's lovely hairdresser. I dare not repeat what they said. A few minutes later, while I was turning my head a couple of minutes to talk to Michelle, the lady next to me stepped in front of me. As I’m short and she’s tall, you can well imagine that I could not see anything. This behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE!!! I WAS EXTREMELY UPSET and could not stop crying the next morning when I mentioned it to Michelle.

 

By the way, the Swiss lady saw my post with the cape a while later and liked it. She even started following me on Instagram!! Couldn’t she apologise??

 

Other people, such as Michelle and of course @Florine, to name just a few, confided in me and said they had been the target of these fans’ criticism.

 

Mika would be appalled if he knew everything that is going on among his fans.

 

I would like this topic to be addressed during tonight’s live, if possible, or a forthcoming live, as it is just as important as sexual harassment during concerts.

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION ❤️ 

[Florine]

1 hour ago, pascale_geneva said:

I totally agree with you, Florine. I do not wish to go to any more MFC events, from now on I will only go to Mika's concerts - ON MY OWN!!!

On your own but with me 🥰

[pascale_geneva]

49 minutes ago, Florine said:

On your own but with me 🥰

Of course ... and a few more real friends 🥰❤️❤️

[mellody]

Sorry @pascale_geneva to hear this happened to you. I wonder, have you tried to talk to the person/people in question before you make public posts about it? I think this should always be the first step. Some people might just be careless and not even realize that they hurt others with what they say. Especially at 1am when everyone's tired and at the same time overexcited about meeting Mika. Or, when they stood in front of you, did you politely remind them that it was your place and they refused? Or maybe they just thought you didn't want your place anymore but that you preferred to stay with your friend? Or just didn't think much at all. I don't know, I was there but I didn't see or hear what happened, and you didn't tell me. You say the person followed you on IG, have you DMed them about the incident and asked for clarification?

[dcdeb]

@pascale_geneva I didn't see your post before yesterday's IG Live, or else we could have spoken about it then. But of course we can talk about it here, too -- although I don't know if anything I say will resolve the matter in your eyes.

 

Obviously, I do not condone fans mocking other fans. I think that should be clear by now. I always try to treat others with kindness and respect, and hope that they will treat me the same way. Likewise, I hope that members of our fan club will treat each other with a mutual respect, as I have seen happen time and again over the years.

 

But I also know that this is not a perfect world and sometimes people say and do things without thinking how their words and actions might be perceived by others.

 

I'm not sure what you experienced in Verona. Maybe the women in question were simply trying to be funny and you misunderstood their comments? Perhaps their senses of humor are different from yours? More sarcastic, or snarky? Perhaps they too had had some wine and were speaking without considering how their words might sting?

 

I don't know. I wasn't there. I didn't see or hear what happened myself, so I can't judge.

But as you know, I'm not the boss of anyone here, nor am I the police -- how much easier life would be for me, a control freak, if I could control what everyone does! But no, each individual is accountable for how they behave, I can't control that. As I noted in my first post in this thread, aside from banning someone who violates the MFC guidelines from the forum and blocking them on social media, I have no "power" -- nor do I want it, to be honest. I can't prevent anyone from attending future Mika concerts or other events, or impose any sort of fine or penalty. I also don't want to publicly shame anyone -- I am not comfortable with that sort of thing for a number of reasons.

 

You say you wanted to make me aware of the situation, and that Mika would be appalled if he knew. Sadly, both Mika and I are well aware that there is often unkind, rude, and nasty behavior among fans. We can say that we condemn it until we're blue in the face -- and we have said it! But unfortunately that does not stop it from happening. Since the beginning of this fan club, fans have formed smaller groups with others they have a lot in common with. There's nothing wrong with that per se. Here on MFC, I have seen many of these subgroups develop over the years, and often there have been rivalries, jealousy and tensions among them -- French vs Italians, older fans vs younger fans, longtime fans vs new fans, fans who seem to get more of Mika's attention vs those who don't... I can frown upon these rivalries, and tell people that I don't approve when I see bad behavior, but that doesn't really change anything, does it? So instead I choose to focus upon all the positives that the fans and the fan club represent, and hope that will encourage others to do the same. And that's really all that is in my power -- what I choose to do and how I choose to react.

 

 

1 hour ago, pascale_geneva said:

I totally agree with you, Florine. I do not wish to go to any more MFC events, from now on I will only go to Mika's concerts - ON MY OWN!!!

 

I'm sorry if you've been hurt, and I regret that you seem to associate the actions of some people with those of Mika Fan Club in general. I'm sad that it may have turned you off to the point that you want to avoid the fan club.

 

I've always found when I have an issue with someone it's best to speak to that person directly, in an effort to resolve whatever differences we may have -- unless, of course, there's a possibility of physical violence, then the authorities (security, the police, etc.) need to be involved. The longer bad feelings sit without addressing them, the worse they get. It's difficult to do, of course, but in my opinion it's the best way to handle a problem. If you feel you can't speak to that other person for some reason, though, and you think that avoiding them and any situation you may find them in is the only way for you to deal with the issue, then I guess that's what you have to do.

 

Thanks for sharing your feelings, Pascale -- I'm sorry if my response is not exactly what you were hoping for. I'll look forward to seeing you at a future concert, which I hope is in the not-too-distant future.

 

[pascale_geneva]

3 minutes ago, mellody said:

Sorry @pascale_geneva to hear this happened to you. I wonder, have you tried to talk to the person/people in question before you make public posts about it? I think this should always be the first step. Some people might just be careless and not even realize that they hurt others with what they say. Especially at 1am when everyone's tired and at the same time overexcited about meeting Mika. Or, when they stood in front of you, did you politely remind them that it was your place and they refused? Or maybe they just thought you didn't want your place anymore but that you preferred to stay with your friend? Or just didn't think much at all. I don't know, I was there but I didn't see or hear what happened, and you didn't tell me. You say the person followed you on IG, have you DMed them about the incident and asked for clarification?

I’m very sensitive and was so shocked that I couldn’t react. One person @carafon apologised privately arguing that it’s her and Romy’s (I don’t know her username) sense of humour. Well, it’s not mine. Frankly I feel like neve attending again any MFC party, live etc etc. I am gutted!

[pascale_geneva]

11 minutes ago, dcdeb said:@pascale_geneva I didn't see your post before yesterday's IG Live, or else we could have spoken about it then. But of course we can talk about it here, too -- although I don't know if anything I say will resolve the matter in your eyes.

 

Obviously, I do not condone fans mocking other fans. I think that should be clear by now. I always try to treat others with kindness and respect, and hope that they will treat me the same way. Likewise, I hope that members of our fan club will treat each other with a mutual respect, as I have seen happen time and again over the years.

 

But I also know that this is not a perfect world and sometimes people say and do things without thinking how their words and actions might be perceived by others.

 

I'm not sure what you experienced in Verona. Maybe the women in question were simply trying to be funny and you misunderstood their comments? Perhaps their senses of humor are different from yours? More sarcastic, or snarky? Perhaps they too had had some wine and were speaking without considering how their words might sting?

 

I don't know. I wasn't there. I didn't see or hear what happened myself, so I can't judge.

But as you know, I'm not the boss of anyone here, nor am I the police -- how much easier life would be for me, a control freak, if I could control what everyone does! But no, each individual is accountable for how they behave, I can't control that. As I noted in my first post in this thread, aside from banning someone who violates the MFC guidelines from the forum and blocking them on social media, I have no "power" -- nor do I want it, to be honest. I can't prevent anyone from attending future Mika concerts or other events, or impose any sort of fine or penalty. I also don't want to publicly shame anyone -- I am not comfortable with that sort of thing for a number of reasons.

 

You say you wanted to make me aware of the situation, and that Mika would be appalled if he knew. Sadly, both Mika and I are well aware that there is often unkind, rude, and nasty behavior among fans. We can say that we condemn it until we're blue in the face -- and we have said it! But unfortunately that does not stop it from happening. Since the beginning of this fan club, fans have formed smaller groups with others they have a lot in common with. There's nothing wrong with that per se. Here on MFC, I have seen many of these subgroups develop over the years, and often there have been rivalries, jealousy and tensions among them -- French vs Italians, older fans vs younger fans, longtime fans vs new fans, fans who seem to get more of Mika's attention vs those who don't... I can frown upon these rivalries, and tell people that I don't approve when I see bad behavior, but that doesn't really change anything, does it? So instead I choose to focus upon all the positives that the fans and the fan club represent, and hope that will encourage others to do the same. And that's really all that is in my power -- what I choose to do and how I choose to react.

 

 

 

I'm sorry if you've been hurt, and I regret that you seem to associate the actions of some people with those of Mika Fan Club in general. I'm sad that it may have turned you off to the point that you want to avoid the fan club.

 

I've always found when I have an issue with someone it's best to speak to that person directly, in an effort to resolve whatever differences we may have -- unless, of course, there's a possibility of physical violence, then the authorities (security, the police, etc.) need to be involved. The longer bad feelings sit without addressing them, the worse they get. It's difficult to do, of course, but in my opinion it's the best way to handle a problem. If you feel you can't speak to that other person for some reason, though, and you think that avoiding them and any situation you may find them in is the only way for you to deal with the issue, then I guess that's what you have to do.

 

Thanks for sharing your feelings, Pascale -- I'm sorry if my response is not exactly what you were hoping for. I'll look forward to seeing you at a future concert, which I hope is in the not-too-distant future.

 

Thank you Deb. As I mentioned to Karin I am very sensitive (I m still crying while I’m writing) and I was  so shocked that I couldn’t react. The two ladies I could identify were @carafon and Romy. @carafon (Joelle) said it was their sense of humour. Well, it’s not mine. Do I have to accept this “sense of “humour? NO!! Proofs is that I get a lot of support on the social media. 

i noticed all the subgroups and competitive people who always want to be in the limelight. As if Mika cared! I don’t like it at all. 

I know that unfortunately you can’t do anything but I would be most grateful if you could raise this point during the next live. 
 

As I wrote I don’t feel like attending any more MFC parties  I will only see my real friends. It is a shame that a nice and respectful person like me has to give in. 
 

I look forward to seeing you at a future concert 😘

 

 

[carafon]

On 9/29/2022 at 7:30 PM, pascale_geneva said:

I’m very sensitive and was so shocked that I couldn’t react. One person @carafon apologised privately arguing that it’s her and Romy’s (I don’t know her username) sense of humour. Well, it’s not mine. Frankly I feel like neve attending again any MFC party, live etc etc. I am gutted!

Come on ...... I apologized for blocking the view ( didn't see much myself btw) and explained you the jokes about Geraldine . (we're not the only ones , look at the september competition) 

I'm sorry but  I don't remember saying anything bad about you and the cape/ glass of wine  (didn't even remember who had wine and don't care anyway) 

We had a good feeling at the dinner so I'm very upset and sad too !

( sorry for polluting the topic but can't leave it without answer) 

 

Edited October 1, 2022 by carafon

[Sabine64]

2 hours ago, pascale_geneva said:

Thank you Deb. As I mentioned to Karin I am very sensitive (I m still crying while I’m writing) and I was  so shocked that I couldn’t react. The two ladies I could identify were @carafon and Romy. @carafon (Joelle) said it was their sense of humour. Well, it’s not mine. Do I have to accept this “sense of “humour? NO!! Proofs is that I get a lot of support on the social media. 

i noticed all the subgroups and competitive people who always want to be in the limelight. As if Mika cared! I don’t like it at all. 

I know that unfortunately you can’t do anything but I would be most grateful if you could raise this point during the next live. 
 

As I wrote I don’t feel like attending any more MFC parties  I will only see my real friends. It is a shame that a nice and respectful person like me has to give in. 
 

I look forward to seeing you at a future concert 😘

 

 

Of course it´s your decision if you want to join or not join MFC events in the future but if I would feel misstreated I would avoid those people and not the MFC as a whole. Btw I always experienced Carafon as a very nice sweet and fair woman.

[Jaela]

On 9/28/2022 at 7:13 PM, pascale_geneva said:

I would like this topic to be addressed during tonight’s live, if possible, or a forthcoming live, as it is just as important as sexual harassment during concerts.

None of this is my business and I do not wish to get dragged into some petty argument among older fans (which you could be solving privately rather than posting it all over MFC and Instagram, by the way, is what I would do if I were a responsible adult with years of life experience ) but I do want to say that I think it's out of place to equate your experience to sexual harassment. Being the victim of sexual harassment is extremely traumatic and it means someone is actively trying to harm you. I do not think that the ladies who made a snippy comment about you had the intention to harm or traumatize you at all, they simply made a comment without thinking much about how it could come across to you. That happens to all of us sometimes, because we're humans and sometimes we make mistakes or don't communicate well with eachother. From what I understand after reading the previous posts on this thread it seems those women have already apologised to you and expressed that they did not have bad intentions, so surely you should be able to solve this matter easily among eachother.

 

As I said, none of this is my business and I won't tell you how you should be feeling about all of this, but I would be happy if you could reconsider the specific sentence i quoted and realise that it can come across as very invalidating to those fans (teenagers, by the way) who became victims of sexual harassment at a Mika concert. Your feelings are valid, but you need to see things in perspective. 

 

Other than that I wish you all the best and please don't feel discouraged to go to Mika concerts and socialize in the future! We're with so many fans, there are surely plenty of others with whom you'll get along just fine  

[pascale_geneva]

37 minutes ago, Sabine64 said:

Of course it´s your decision if you want to join or not join MFC events in the future but if I would feel misstreated I would avoid those people and not the MFC as a whole. Btw I always experienced Carafon as a very nice sweet and fair woman.

I gather the « bad » one is Romy. I’m sorry if the MFC is not capable of drawing attention to this problem, then YES I do not wish to join any more events. I wouldn’t be the first one who gives up these events. 

[pascale_geneva]

41 minutes ago, Jaela said:

None of this is my business and I do not wish to get dragged into some petty argument among older fans (which you could be solving privately rather than posting it all over MFC and Instagram, by the way, is what I would do if I were a responsible adult with years of life experience ) but I do want to say that I think it's out of place to equate your experience to sexual harassment. Being the victim of sexual harassment is extremely traumatic and it means someone is actively trying to harm you. I do not think that the ladies who made a snippy comment about you had the intention to harm or traumatize you at all, they simply made a comment without thinking much about how it could come across to you. That happens to all of us sometimes, because we're humans and sometimes we make mistakes or don't communicate well with eachother. From what I understand after reading the previous posts on this thread it seems those women have already apologised to you and expressed that they did not have bad intentions, so surely you should be able to solve this matter easily among eachother.

 

As I said, none of this is my business and I won't tell you how you should be feeling about all of this, but I would be happy if you could reconsider the specific sentence i quoted and realise that it can come across as very invalidating to those fans (teenagers, by the way) who became victims of sexual harassment at a Mika concert. Your feelings are valid, but you need to see things in perspective. 

 

Other than that I wish you all the best and please don't feel discouraged to go to Mika concerts and socialize in the future! We're with so many fans, there are surely plenty of others with whom you'll get along just fine  

BTW I’m a recent member and probably much older experienced and reasonable than you

[pascale_geneva]

Just now, pascale_geneva said:

BTW I’m a recent member and probably much older experienced and reasonable than you

Only one has apologised. The worse of the two hasn’t 

[pascale_geneva]

2 minutes ago, pascale_geneva said:

BTW I’m a recent member and probably much older experienced and reasonable than you

I get along with quite a few fans whom I will carry on seeing. The rest are just people feeling superior to the others and trying to give lessons

[mellody]

3 hours ago, pascale_geneva said:

I’m very sensitive and was so shocked that I couldn’t react. One person @carafon apologised privately arguing that it’s her and Romy’s (I don’t know her username) sense of humour. Well, it’s not mine. Frankly I feel like neve attending again any MFC party, live etc etc. I am gutted!

 

I'm sorry that you feel like that Pascale, I've always enjoyed talking with you, online and live, and I also know carafon a little, at least enough to know that she isn't a bad person who would deliberately harass other people. She might have a bit of a rough sense of humour, and I know what it's like as a sensitive person having to deal with people who have a very different sense of humour to mine, it has happened to me as well in the past in this fandom (with people who aren't in the fandom anymore now) and it felt very hurtful. Over time, with one of them I actually became friends, after talking with her in person several times, it turned out she was a lot nicer than I first thought. The other one was someone I always preferred to avoid. I don't know what's the right solution for you, try to talk with those people (I suppose at least it helps that you speak the same language) or avoid them, but I hope I'll also see you at future MFC events and that you won't avoid the whole fanclub that is made up of so many different individuals, because you don't get along with some of them. I understand that you're hurt, your feelings are valid, but accusing others of bullying all over social media and expecting other people who didn't witness the situation to condemn them, just because their sense of humour is different from yours and you're sensitive, is not ok, imo. Maybe the people in question will be a bit more careful with their words in the future when you're nearby, and maybe you can team up with your friends whom you go to gigs with, because in a group it's always easier to face things that might hurt you, especially if you're sensitive. MFC has given me so much over all these years, even though there sometimes were people that I didn't get along with, but overall I feel very much at home here. I've been in other fandoms when I was younger (and sometimes still go to gigs of those bands), and I can tell you that the MIka fandom is fluffy rainbowland compared to what's going on there. There might be little groups, as Deb said, but for the most part people still talk with each other and don't exclude others. In fact, in another fandom back in the 90s I was bullied for talking with too many people and not respecting the individual groups who wouldn't talk with each other. I always found this totally silly and I'm glad that in the Mika fandom I don't have to worry whom I talk to, for not risking to annoy others.

[Romy04]

On 28/09/2022 at 19:13, pascale_geneva said:

 

 

 

  

                                                                                                            La cape de Mika accrochée à côté de l'entrée des artistes de l'Arena

 

Salut tout le monde! 

 

Le concert de Mika à l'Arena di Verona la semaine dernière était magnifique. Ce fut le clou de mon séjour en Italie avec les quelques jours à Venise avec@Michelle Blondet. Néanmoins, j'étais assez content de rentrer chez moi après avoir été terriblement blessé par un groupe de fans de Mika.

 

je voudrais dessiner@dcdebsur   le comportement de certains fans de Mika envers d'autres fans.

 

A Vérone, j'ai été la cible de critiques de la manière la plus méprisable. Pendant que nous attendions dehors pour voir Mika après le dîner, j'ai fait remarquer à@Anna Ko Kolkowskal'endroit à côté de l'entrée des artistes où Michelle et moi avions repéré la cape de Mika dans l'après-midi (que j'ai postée sur Instagram et d'autres réseaux sociaux, et que Michelle a également postée plus tard). La dame debout à côté de moi, qui était assise à côté de moi à table, a dit à ses amies - toutes françaises sauf une suissesse (pour l'instant, je ne souhaite pas divulguer leurs noms, elles devraient se reconnaître) - que je imaginais des choses et c'était peut-être dû au verre de vin rouge que j'avais ! Ils ont continué encore et encore et se moquaient de moi. Ces dames savaient sûrement que je pouvais tout entendre ou sont-elles trop stupides ? Puis ils ont commencé à critiquer Géraldine, la charmante coiffeuse de Mika. Je n'ose pas répéter ce qu'ils ont dit. Quelques minutes plus tard, alors que je tournais la tête quelques minutes pour parler à Michelle, la dame à côté de moi s'est placée devant moi. Comme je suis petite et qu'elle est grande, vous imaginez bien que je ne pouvais rien voir. Ce comportement estINACCEPTABLE !!! J'étais extrêmement contrarié et je n'ai pas pu m'arrêter de pleurer le lendemain matin quand j'en ai parlé à Michelle.

 

Au fait, la dame suisse a vu mon message avec la cape un peu plus tard et l'a aimé. Elle a même commencé à me suivre sur Instagram !! Ne pourrait-elle pas s'excuser ??

 

D'autres personnes, comme Michelle et bien sûr@Florine, pour n'en citer que quelques-uns, se sont confiés à moi et m'ont dit avoir été la cible des critiques de ces fans.

 

Mika serait consterné s'il savait tout ce qui se passe parmi ses fans.

 

J'aimerais que ce sujet soit abordé lors du live de ce soir, si possible, ou d'un live à venir, car il est tout aussi important que le harcèlement sexuel lors des concerts.

 

MERCI POUR VOTRE GENTILLE ATTENTION  ❤️ 

 

 

[Romy04]

Good evening Pascale, good evening everyone, as I have already said in private to Pascale, I am sorry for you if you felt pain at the end of the concert.  But for my part at no time did I make fun of you, I said nothing about you, about the cape or about the wine.  And if later I liked the insta post with the cape it's only because I thought the photo was pretty.  What I still want to say is that after reading this insta post, I am in misunderstanding and very very sad. PS excuse the google translate

[crazyaboutmika]

Hi guys

I'm so sorry to read this

Big hugs to you @pascale_geneva

MFCers are usually supportive of each other but we are all humans and misunderstandings happen... and when you feel safe with people and all the sudden you feel bad vibes it is very hard and depressing. I don't think anyone wanted to hurt you dear Pascale but indeed words can hurt even if they are not said on purpose to hurt  We all feel things differently depending on our own experience of life. I can feel your pain Pascale and Florine and as a very highly sensitive person too I am deeply sorry for you

I know some fans left MFC as they were disapointed by a few members in the past too... I still feel very much that we are a family In any group and in any family problems and misunderstandings happen sadly  I lost one of my aunts last February and after that my other aunt and my mother got mad at each other and they don't talk anymore... it's a lot of pressure and draining...nobody is perfect and misunderstandings can really happen

I'm glad you still love Mika and that you plan to go to his gigs no matter what

Sometimes people can say silly things even if they don't mean them like once my mother called me a b*** in front of my friends and I never knew why

With the years I went from being oversensitive to trying to make myself happy and it helps...my husband can get mad but it is his problem not mine... I hate fights so I still miss Mika gigs I would love to go to to avoid problems...but I wouldn't be able to go to all of them anyway so I try to make the best of the ones I go to. I enjoy meeting MFCers too and I have felt nothing but love from everyone I met... probably because I met them long ago online and I can say MFC is a welcoming community

Like everywhere else belonging to this community or being a Mika fan doesn't make people angels either of course...

I really hope the misunderstandings can be cleared and forgiven  but I also know nothing is perfect in life  even if we wish it was...

I love you all guys

As Romy and Carafon joined here to say they didn't mean to hurt you and that they are sorry I really hòpe the misunderstandings can be cleared and forgiven  

I cried too writing this....

Please take care everyone

Life is short, keep enjoying Mika

 

[krysady]

10 hours ago, mellody said:

I understand that you're hurt, your feelings are valid, but accusing others of bullying all over social media and expecting other people who didn't witness the situation to condemn them, just because their sense of humour is different from yours and you're sensitive, is not ok, imo.

 

I was about to write down my view on this topic, but this is exactly what I had in mind so I concur with every word above