The KIWI Thread

[beccah :)]

whoa you guys and your chinwagging,,.. how will i keep up?

 

how weird is it though, that out of the 3 regular NZ'ers (and now a new one) two (and now 3) are 15 year old girls?

 

(i've been a fan sincei was 13 now though. )

 

and khayla, thatnks for your help with my health assesment.. you were up late as last night!

 

haha! we seem to have been talking a lot, but i had to go to bed lastnight! i was so exhausted at 12! i think, it is really great and kinda crazy!

ive been a fan for a few years maybe 2 and a half now!

[beccah :)]

I know what you mean about the bullying. I'm half blind so I get a lot of close minded people giving me crap. I'm really weird though besides that. I talk funny (my accent's a bit all over the place), I'm funny looking and have a very distinctive walk so I get bullied for it now and also for my belifs.

 

I do ok in school. I get by. I've got a good personality so teachers like me

 

Are you not allowed to play a lead if you're young?

I was a semi lead in our production and the leads were all my age or thereabouts...

 

Arg! I HATE bad groups!

But I've been fortunate. The first group I had consisted of 2 other girls. They didn't like my bloodthirsty and adult style and ideas. The only things I was to contribute were the names of the three little pigs (pork, ham and bacon ), the tralor park mother with a new boyfriend (so she kicked the kids out), the pigs eating the wolf at the end after he attempts to come down the chimney and gets killed in the fire AND my voice.

The next group was me and my twistedness, Georgy orgy , Emz and her overmodesty and Ryan with his rangy bro town themed voices.

That was the most sexually, racially and just downright offensive play in the class with a chicken scene, racial steriotypes, innuendos, racist and sexist jokes and bad language!

I played characters called "Slutty Michelle" "Mate" "Celine smyth" and "gasngster girl with bad Maori/Polynisian accent"

There was the clown play. I was a genderless clown and modest Emily and I were doing ok but our third member was a constant issue, never showing up and never doing any work when she was there.

The last thing I did was Hansel and Gretel (and Lezel). It was with the bad member, modest Emily, Georgy Orgy and Ryan. That was brilliant and - Again - Quite on-the-edge but now people were expecting it and it was better recieved because people expected us to be offensive and embraced it.

 

I want to act, sing, write, dance burlesque, pin up model, design clothes, direct and do art. I want to ENTERTAIN!!!

Yeah, I'm glad to do things I like. Music and art arn't the best things ever. I don't need them to be good at them

 

What are you good at?

 

i have contacts and glasses and i guess I'm not really ordinary. i have a really strong personality and opinions, i try to be optimistic but it is difficult sometimes! i have a friend who is really sensitive about her walk. don't put yourself down so much! I'm sure you are a really nice person, from what i have realized anyway and i have only just "met" you as such!

no, you have to be year 11 to play a lead role at our school

it sounds like you get a lot of opportunity to express yourself in drama, which is what it's all about really! and i love that you have so many threads of interest that you want to follow, i want to do a lot of those too.

 

i really want to learn to dance and would love to pluck up enough courage to audition for singing

 

i guess im quite good at english,art and drama. i really like them too!

i can play the piano a bit which i would like to continue/ start up again with.

i love baking and writing and all that!

i like lots of things- authenticity, photography, talking haha!

[beccah :)]

I was hoping I could send you or Charlotte a letter for him if you wouldn't mind?

 

I agree fullheartedly about the acting. Don't settel, don't give up and do what your parents want you to do. My mother wants me to finish school and go on to University but for all the wrong reasons.

I believed she cared about my education before she started to hurt me with her constant blackmail (the reason I can't see Mika) and before she told me to do all these things in Uni that I obviously HATED (psychology, management, law... Nothing you could see me doing in a million years!).

 

 

I've been a fan since 12 (February '07 )

 

No problem but as I said, don't thank me till you get your results

Was it good help then do you think?

 

i too was hoping that someone wouldn't mind taking a letter or something from me to him too?

it's really kind of you guys to care so much, i think i will have to work it out for myself too!

it sounds as though your mother is trying to give you advice and help you but it can be taken the wrong way a lot, by me too when things like that happen! im sure you will work out what you want to do eventually; do you have any ideas?

[Lolliepop_girl]

I'll reply you guys later. Just letting you know I'm not ignoring you or anything. Something's come up and I don't really feel like talking school with people ATM.

[beccah :)]

I'll reply you guys later. Just letting you know I'm not ignoring you or anything. Something's come up and I don't really feel like talking school with people ATM.

 

oh, I'm really sorry. I hope everything's okay! Sorry if i offended you or anything! And also, that whatever that has happened sorts itself out for you.

[racinghorse83]

I was hoping I could send you or Charlotte a letter for him if you wouldn't mind?

 

i totally dont mind giving it to him for you! Do you want me to PM you my post address?

[Lolliepop_girl]

oh, I'm really sorry. I hope everything's okay! Sorry if i offended you or anything! And also, that whatever that has happened sorts itself out for you.

Thanks. It's nothing to do with you guys.

 

I was talking to a mutual friend of Marco and I. He said M wasn't there and we were talking about him. I didn't say anything about him that I wouldn't say to his face or admit to saying behind his back.

Then I found out that Marco had been there the whole time. He got angry about something I said about him not being gay because he couldn't even handel girls.

He said "I'm not gay!... And I can handel chicks!" I said I don't doubt that except that he seemed to freak out when I kissed him. He kissed me back then told all his friend about it like I was the one who insited it and he had nothing to do with it.

He didn't let go when I huged him! I let go and he held me clsoe. It happened 2 before I kissed him the second time. I pulled aay and he kissed me back but then he said he only liked me as a friend.

 

That was last term and I accepted he only wanted to be friends but I was and AM so sure he liked me.

 

Lately he keeps asking me what I'm talking about when I'm in the middle of a conversation with that mutual friend. I just thought maybe he was beginning to show he cared or something but with him, you never know.

Today I asked the mutual friend to add me to Gmail. Marco kept telling me to download proper google talk but I said no.

 

I got on later today and added the mutual friend. He denied when I asked if Marco was there and we spoke of him and then we're back at the first parograph.

 

Oh and he's also angry that I'm not using the program he told me to download.

Whatever.

 

HOW DARE HE spy on me!

Then he left and I was so pissed at him for leaving and not even letting me say what I said in case he was still watching (he hacked) I said "You kissed me back and ran away. That ain't handeling them."

 

After that, I got back on after Marco had gone (I hope) and the MF said that e had said that MF must tell him everything of our conversation.

 

I've been having problems at home. My mother doesn't really want me around much so she's trying to leave me and go live with her boyfriend. IDK if I already said that before but just in case. It just feels like he doesn't want me but he wants to violate my privacy and hurt me for no good reason and everytime he rejects me, I am reminded of how bad things are already going outide of Marco.

[Lolliepop_girl]

i totally dont mind giving it to him for you! Do you want me to PM you my post address?

Sure, I just would like to have it ok'd by you guys as well if we can do that (but not on here. It's not finished but I won't share i publically when it is).

[beccah :)]

Thanks. It's nothing to do with you guys.

 

I was talking to a mutual friend of Marco and I. He said M wasn't there and we were talking about him. I didn't say anything about him that I wouldn't say to his face or admit to saying behind his back.

Then I found out that Marco had been there the whole time. He got angry about something I said about him not being gay because he couldn't even handel girls.

He said "I'm not gay!... And I can handel chicks!" I said I don't doubt that except that he seemed to freak out when I kissed him. He kissed me back then told all his friend about it like I was the one who insited it and he had nothing to do with it.

He didn't let go when I huged him! I let go and he held me clsoe. It happened 2 before I kissed him the second time. I pulled aay and he kissed me back but then he said he only liked me as a friend.

 

That was last term and I accepted he only wanted to be friends but I was and AM so sure he liked me.

 

Lately he keeps asking me what I'm talking about when I'm in the middle of a conversation with that mutual friend. I just thought maybe he was beginning to show he cared or something but with him, you never know.

Today I asked the mutual friend to add me to Gmail. Marco kept telling me to download proper google talk but I said no.

 

I got on later today and added the mutual friend. He denied when I asked if Marco was there and we spoke of him and then we're back at the first parograph.

 

Oh and he's also angry that I'm not using the program he told me to download.

Whatever.

 

HOW DARE HE spy on me!

Then he left and I was so pissed at him for leaving and not even letting me say what I said in case he was still watching (he hacked) I said "You kissed me back and ran away. That ain't handling them."

 

After that, I got back on after Marco had gone (I hope) and the MF said that e had said that MF must tell him everything of our conversation.

 

I've been having problems at home. My mother doesn't really want me around much so she's trying to leave me and go live with her boyfriend. IDK if I already said that before but just in case. It just feels like he doesn't want me but he wants to violate my privacy and hurt me for no good reason and every time he rejects me, I am reminded of how bad things are already going outside of Marco.

 

wow! it seems like a lot has been going on in your life as of late. It seems as though this Marco doesn't know what to do about what he feels for you- perhaps he likes you but he didn't want to ruin the friendship that you had by becoming more than friends. Or he might not think that his actions had affected you so dramatically- maybe if you shared your thoughts with him about feeling betrayed that your MF was letting him spy on you he might understand your angry reaction to his words and actions. I too would be angry if he listened in, maybe he really wanted to know if you properly liked him back?!!

i think it's really silly that he got angry about the Google talk thing and that it is your decision whether to use it or not!

 

It also seems as though the problems surrounding home life and your mother are surfacing because Marco is being horrible to you. try and talk to your mother about how you feel; that maybe you want her to stay.

what would you do if she did leave?

do you have siblings or other family to live with you?

 

maybe, if you give Marco the cold shoulder a wee bit he might get the idea that he had upset you and he may go about fixing it up by talking it through with you.

 

hope this has helped; i don't know if i have though. i don't want to make it worse.

[Lolliepop_girl]

Thanks Beccah but it doesn't help in this situation.

Marco's an odd one. I do like him very much. He knows that, they all do. If I cold shoulder him, he'll just ignore me back. He's known for being particularly cold.

He knows how I felt. I don't let much wallow. See, I don't like to hide things that are ABOUT him, from him.

I'm not angry with MF because Marco could terrorise MF. He's one for threats and a lot of anger apparently. He doesn't do that to me but I know he does it to people.

 

I don't want my mother to stay, she's not a very nice person half the time. The thing that bothers me is that my own MOTHER doesn't want to have me anymore.

I have a granddad. We get on well enough but I hate this town. If I have to stay her...

My mother promised me she wouldn't leave me and less than a week later did all her crap to try to make me stay here.

She told me she was planning to leave me here for school purposes so I said I'd leave school.

 

It's anger and rejection that gets to me. My mother's actual presence isn't worth much to me. I mean come on, she doesn't want me, screw her.

I'm not going to put up with it.

 

MF and I were just talking about not taking other people's sh*t. I'm going to have a go the best way I know how tomorrow.

Which isn't really that much. I'm pretty sweet to him compared to how I am with a lot of people. I'm a mean cynic usually

[beccah :)]

well, i guess in some aspects you will always know where you stand with him by telling him what you think of him etc.

does he tell you what he thinks of you though?

particularly cold? alluring? mystical? you find coldness attractive?

i think i i liked a guy who was like that i would feel quite intimidated by him to be honest.

and he also sounds like a bit of a bully, perhaps he has issues at home and that's why he lashes out at others?

you obviously mean a lot to him because he treats you differently.

I guess that in the end all's well that ends well, and if it isn't well, it isn't the end.

you mother will do what's right for her and maybe it will be good for you to do what's good for you.

your granddad sounds like a nice person where do you live? and is there anything else that is upsetting you?

you dont seem too mean and cynical to me

i think it's a good idea for you to try and ignore/ forget about the crap that people are dealing you and channel it into doing something nice for yourself.

things will work out eventually; maybe in the future you will look back on this and laugh.

[Lolliepop_girl]

well, i guess in some aspects you will always know where you stand with him by telling him what you think of him etc.

does he tell you what he thinks of you though?

particularly cold? alluring? mystical? you find coldness attractive?

i think i i liked a guy who was like that i would feel quite intimidated by him to be honest.

and he also sounds like a bit of a bully, perhaps he has issues at home and that's why he lashes out at others?

you obviously mean a lot to him because he treats you differently.

I guess that in the end all's well that ends well, and if it isn't well, it isn't the end.

you mother will do what's right for her and maybe it will be good for you to do what's good for you.

your granddad sounds like a nice person where do you live? and is there anything else that is upsetting you?

you dont seem too mean and cynical to me

i think it's a good idea for you to try and ignore/ forget about the crap that people are dealing you and channel it into doing something nice for yourself.

things will work out eventually; maybe in the future you will look back on this and laugh.

Not alluring. UGH, never!

He's a cutie, yeah. His friends call him mini Mika to annoy me.

Marco has blond hair, smallish blue eyes, a rounded babyface, he's manorexic skinny (more than Mx), he wears lots of black and emo things and he has braces and always has that samelook on his face as Neil from the pet shop boys.

So not much like Mika

Anyway, yeah, he makes me feel like crap sometimes. He just really gets me down (Sucking too hard lalalalala).

Yeah, he has problems at home. His step dad it a real villan. Poor thing. Doesn't give him an excuse.

My mother told me that when my fatherfound out I was a girl, he wanted me aborted. You don't see me going around threatening boys and girls with knives, blades and burning things and the likes!!!

 

Yeah Granddad is pretty cool.

When the MF came over on sunday and played music, GD tried to crump to "I'm on a goat" by Bill and Ben

 

Yeah well I am gennerally quite cynical and mean. People know me to be one to "Nut out" at people and just assume I hate everyone accept Mika.

I am cold but it's because I don't like where I am ATM.

But I'm a happy person in genneral, don't get me wrong, I'm just in a really bad way NOW.

It's just when I get down, I REALLY get down. I'll come back tomorrow and be all firey and funny again

[beccah :)]

well, i hope that you know that you can always talk to me; even though i may be half asleep since i stay up on here even though i may not know you that well; but i want to get to know you more:) i will listen, because i think you have a lot to say and im here to listen and try to understand.

 

he does sound cute

and i know, you cant always blame everything on everyone else ( blame it on the girls, who know what to do, BLAME IT ON THE BOYS WHO KEEP HITTING ON YOU!)

HAHA! your gdad is obviously trying to keep "cool and hip" or something along those lines

 

i dont mind if you want to rant and express the emotion; i find that sometimes it's good to let it out and you dont always have a good outlet/ person to chat to that will just listen and not judge so much.

im going to go to bed now, talk tomorrow if you want

[Lolliepop_girl]

well, i hope that you know that you can always talk to me; even though i may be half asleep since i stay up on here even though i may not know you that well; but i want to get to know you more:) i will listen, because i think you have a lot to say and im here to listen and try to understand.

 

he does sound cute

and i know, you cant always blame everything on everyone else ( blame it on the girls, who know what to do, BLAME IT ON THE BOYS WHO KEEP HITTING ON YOU!)

HAHA! your gdad is obviously trying to keep "cool and hip" or something along those lines

 

i dont mind if you want to rant and express the emotion; i find that sometimes it's good to let it out and you dont always have a good outlet/ person to chat to that will just listen and not judge so much.

im going to go to bed now, talk tomorrow if you want

Thank you, that means a lot

 

I vent on twitter most of the time. I like to say I have twittereats

 

More like Blame it on the boys who keep HATING on you...

[beccah :)]

can i add you? if that's alright... i dont twitter much cause i dont really get it haha!

and mostly because i have nothing witty to say at the time..

twittereats HAHA! cool, so cool.

[nico_collard]

someone needs to tell him that the new zealand fans are more enthusiastic than the aussies haha!

 

 

the aussie fans became the total pros at whinging! myabe thats how they got him there (idk lolol)

 

I like to think that our kick arse work on the petition was the reason he's coming to visit...

 

 

 

Or maybe he's very concerned about my recovery after the strokes and decided to visit me and fit in a concert while he was here

 

Yeah, at least we aren't whingers!

 

Whinging can only get you so far... making your own luck is what gets you stuff (I learnt that from one of hte English ladies - she makes her own luck by flying to see Mika a lot!)

 

 

Besides, I believe I may have heard a few whinges come from your side of the Tasman a few times...

 

!Um...*Feels OLD!* I was 15 six years ago!

 

That was almost 11 years ago for me!

 

 

I say almost 11 cause it's my b'day on Friday! *dances around kiwi thread*

 

Thanks. It's nothing to do with you guys.

 

I was talking to a mutual friend of Marco and I. He said M wasn't there and we were talking about him. I didn't say anything about him that I wouldn't say to his face or admit to saying behind his back.

Then I found out that Marco had been there the whole time. He got angry about something I said about him not being gay because he couldn't even handel girls.

He said "I'm not gay!... And I can handel chicks!" I said I don't doubt that except that he seemed to freak out when I kissed him. He kissed me back then told all his friend about it like I was the one who insited it and he had nothing to do with it.

He didn't let go when I huged him! I let go and he held me clsoe. It happened 2 before I kissed him the second time. I pulled aay and he kissed me back but then he said he only liked me as a friend.

 

That was last term and I accepted he only wanted to be friends but I was and AM so sure he liked me.

 

Lately he keeps asking me what I'm talking about when I'm in the middle of a conversation with that mutual friend. I just thought maybe he was beginning to show he cared or something but with him, you never know.

Today I asked the mutual friend to add me to Gmail. Marco kept telling me to download proper google talk but I said no.

 

I got on later today and added the mutual friend. He denied when I asked if Marco was there and we spoke of him and then we're back at the first parograph.

 

Oh and he's also angry that I'm not using the program he told me to download.

Whatever.

 

HOW DARE HE spy on me!

Then he left and I was so pissed at him for leaving and not even letting me say what I said in case he was still watching (he hacked) I said "You kissed me back and ran away. That ain't handeling them."

 

After that, I got back on after Marco had gone (I hope) and the MF said that e had said that MF must tell him everything of our conversation.

 

I've been having problems at home. My mother doesn't really want me around much so she's trying to leave me and go live with her boyfriend. IDK if I already said that before but just in case. It just feels like he doesn't want me but he wants to violate my privacy and hurt me for no good reason and everytime he rejects me, I am reminded of how bad things are already going outide of Marco.

 

 

My impression is that he really likes you and wants to be with you, but doesn't really want people to know... The face that he's being nosy when you're talking to your mutual friend suggests to me that he wants to know what you're saying about him (well duh! ) but also that he doesn't want you to say anything nasty about him..

 

And maybe when you said he couldn't handle girls it was like challenging his "manhood" if front of your mutual friend... It's like saying "You're not a man, you're only a little boy" to his face... Does he ever feel like he has something to prove? (Or was that just the stupidest question ever???)

 

 

I guess you could tell him nicely that it's none of his business what you and your mutual friend talk about and if you want him to know, then you'll tell him...

 

 

And that's the end of my wonderful advice... not even sure if it gives you any insight, but that's what I thought

[RosinaKiwi]

I was hoping I could send you or Charlotte a letter for him if you wouldn't mind?

 

I agree fullheartedly about the acting. Don't settel, don't give up and do what your parents want you to do. My mother wants me to finish school and go on to University but for all the wrong reasons.

I believed she cared about my education before she started to hurt me with her constant blackmail (the reason I can't see Mika) and before she told me to do all these things in Uni that I obviously HATED (psychology, management, law... Nothing you could see me doing in a million years!).

 

I can NOT imagine you doing any of those things either!

 

either I or Charlotte can do that for sure! And I thought we were making something up to get glow hearts but I havent heard anything about that in a while

 

im sure there are more than two fans here! i would be hoping anyway!

wooo! it would be so cool for someone to organise to give a letter or gift or something to him from some of us! do you think we could?

thanks for the support, i still dont know really i dont want to be constantly broke if i cant get enough work...

 

there are more fans here in NZ but at the very least, Charlotte and I are both flying over to see im, I hope the impression will be made that its worth coming here.

 

I dont mind taking a gift for you...either Charlotte or I can do that im sure! I did that last year when he came to melborne, I sent a parcel to mouselle in australia and she gave my gifts to mika! It was so exciting to see him recieve it too!

 

I worked for 2 years as a waiteress between graduating highschool and starting uni just to make sure its what I really wanted to do and save money to help me live while doing it!

Its got nothing to do with what im studying at uni either!

 

i too was hoping that someone wouldn't mind taking a letter or something from me to him too?

it's really kind of you guys to care so much, i think i will have to work it out for myself too!

it sounds as though your mother is trying to give you advice and help you but it can be taken the wrong way a lot, by me too when things like that happen! im sure you will work out what you want to do eventually; do you have any ideas?

 

I wouldnt mind, but as per following comment Charlotte too

 

i totally dont mind giving it to him for you! Do you want me to PM you my post address?

 

you or I...depends, how much luggage are you going to take woman!

 

 

 

 

I like to think that our kick arse work on the petition was the reason he's coming to visit...

 

 

 

Or maybe he's very concerned about my recovery after the strokes and decided to visit me and fit in a concert while he was here

 

 

 

Whinging can only get you so far... making your own luck is what gets you stuff (I learnt that from one of hte English ladies - she makes her own luck by flying to see Mika a lot!)

 

 

Besides, I believe I may have heard a few whinges come from your side of the Tasman a few times...

 

 

 

That was almost 11 years ago for me!

 

 

I say almost 11 cause it's my b'day on Friday! *dances around kiwi thread*

 

Happy Birthday then for tomorrow

[Lolliepop_girl]

can i add you? if that's alright... i dont twitter much cause i dont really get it haha!

and mostly because i have nothing witty to say at the time..

twittereats HAHA! cool, so cool.

Sure!

You can add me to anything you want, my details are all in my signature (also my gmail is liyonahlyonesseharsh@gmail.com and I ONLY use it for chat NOT email).

My impression is that he really likes you and wants to be with you, but doesn't really want people to know... The face that he's being nosy when you're talking to your mutual friend suggests to me that he wants to know what you're saying about him (well duh! ) but also that he doesn't want you to say anything nasty about him..

 

And maybe when you said he couldn't handle girls it was like challenging his "manhood" if front of your mutual friend... It's like saying "You're not a man, you're only a little boy" to his face... Does he ever feel like he has something to prove? (Or was that just the stupidest question ever???)

 

 

I guess you could tell him nicely that it's none of his business what you and your mutual friend talk about and if you want him to know, then you'll tell him...

 

 

And that's the end of my wonderful advice... not even sure if it gives you any insight, but that's what I thought

Marco likes me. I KNOW he does, even if he won't admit it.

Today I was so angry at him that I said many things that I shouldn't be proud of (but rather AM...)

He has quite a few things to prove. He is more insecure than he lets on. But as I said, I have problems and several trauma but that doesn't give ME an excuse to do half the crap that he does! He wants attention for the things he does (self harm and the formentiond stuff) but the reasons behind his attention grabbing are all really sad.

I twittered some time ago that it was NOT ok for parents to split up and one of them to get with someone else and have more kids and have pictures on the walls of the new kids and not the kids from the first marriage.

That was because I got so upset for the conversation I had with M.

 

It's kind of funny. I was going to come into school and say "How's your ego?" and it was funny because mine was frail at the time and I wondered for a while and figured out that someone who supposedly hates me and doesn't care about me(he said both) would care enough to sp on my conversation!!!

So my ego was doing just fine after that.

I pretty much told him to f*ck off today. When I got upset with him, he told me to GTF over it so I got nasty and yeah...

 

Thank you teegs!

[racinghorse83]

Thanks. It's nothing to do with you guys.

 

I was talking to a mutual friend of Marco and I. He said M wasn't there and we were talking about him. I didn't say anything about him that I wouldn't say to his face or admit to saying behind his back.

Then I found out that Marco had been there the whole time. He got angry about something I said about him not being gay because he couldn't even handel girls.

He said "I'm not gay!... And I can handel chicks!" I said I don't doubt that except that he seemed to freak out when I kissed him. He kissed me back then told all his friend about it like I was the one who insited it and he had nothing to do with it.

He didn't let go when I huged him! I let go and he held me clsoe. It happened 2 before I kissed him the second time. I pulled aay and he kissed me back but then he said he only liked me as a friend.

 

That was last term and I accepted he only wanted to be friends but I was and AM so sure he liked me.

 

Lately he keeps asking me what I'm talking about when I'm in the middle of a conversation with that mutual friend. I just thought maybe he was beginning to show he cared or something but with him, you never know.

Today I asked the mutual friend to add me to Gmail. Marco kept telling me to download proper google talk but I said no.

 

I got on later today and added the mutual friend. He denied when I asked if Marco was there and we spoke of him and then we're back at the first parograph.

 

Oh and he's also angry that I'm not using the program he told me to download.

Whatever.

 

HOW DARE HE spy on me!

Then he left and I was so pissed at him for leaving and not even letting me say what I said in case he was still watching (he hacked) I said "You kissed me back and ran away. That ain't handeling them."

 

After that, I got back on after Marco had gone (I hope) and the MF said that e had said that MF must tell him everything of our conversation.

 

I've been having problems at home. My mother doesn't really want me around much so she's trying to leave me and go live with her boyfriend. IDK if I already said that before but just in case. It just feels like he doesn't want me but he wants to violate my privacy and hurt me for no good reason and everytime he rejects me, I am reminded of how bad things are already going outide of Marco.

 

Whoa things sound messy with marco. By the sounds of it though, you've got it under control, so I won't offer you any useless advice ( ) I'll just cheer you on.. its what i do best..

 

*pulls out pompoms*

 

GOOOOOO KHAYLA!

 

Sure, I just would like to have it ok'd by you guys as well if we can do that (but not on here. It's not finished but I won't share i publically when it is).

 

Np! I dont mind taking anything for anyone.. I would want someone to take Mika something if i was in your place!

 

Not alluring. UGH, never!

He's a cutie, yeah. His friends call him mini Mika to annoy me.

Marco has blond hair, smallish blue eyes, a rounded babyface, he's manorexic skinny (more than Mx), he wears lots of black and emo things and he has braces and always has that samelook on his face as Neil from the pet shop boys.

So not much like Mika

Anyway, yeah, he makes me feel like crap sometimes. He just really gets me down (Sucking too hard lalalalala).

Yeah, he has problems at home. His step dad it a real villan. Poor thing. Doesn't give him an excuse.

My mother told me that when my fatherfound out I was a girl, he wanted me aborted. You don't see me going around threatening boys and girls with knives, blades and burning things and the likes!!!

 

Yeah Granddad is pretty cool.

When the MF came over on sunday and played music, GD tried to crump to "I'm on a goat" by Bill and Ben

 

Yeah well I am gennerally quite cynical and mean. People know me to be one to "Nut out" at people and just assume I hate everyone accept Mika.

I am cold but it's because I don't like where I am ATM.

But I'm a happy person in genneral, don't get me wrong, I'm just in a really bad way NOW.

It's just when I get down, I REALLY get down. I'll come back tomorrow and be all firey and funny again

 

You'll be right Khayla! I trust you!

 

Go get 'em girl!

 

I can NOT imagine you doing any of those things either!

 

either I or Charlotte can do that for sure! And I thought we were making something up to get glow hearts but I havent heard anything about that in a while

 

 

 

there are more fans here in NZ but at the very least, Charlotte and I are both flying over to see im, I hope the impression will be made that its worth coming here.

 

I dont mind taking a gift for you...either Charlotte or I can do that im sure! I did that last year when he came to melborne, I sent a parcel to mouselle in australia and she gave my gifts to mika! It was so exciting to see him recieve it too!

 

I worked for 2 years as a waiteress between graduating highschool and starting uni just to make sure its what I really wanted to do and save money to help me live while doing it!

Its got nothing to do with what im studying at uni either!

 

 

 

I wouldnt mind, but as per following comment Charlotte too

 

 

 

you or I...depends, how much luggage are you going to take woman!

 

 

 

I will be taking.. ummm.. not much luggage.. heck i'll spend a week in the same dress if it means I can take things for you guys

 

(i brought some denim shorts and a cute new tee for Oz today, I'm wearing them all the time now to get them worn, I hate wearing new clothes..)

 

 

HAPPY BDAY TEEGS!

[Lolliepop_girl]

Charlotte you're such a sweetie!

 

I'd wear the same dress for a week to take things for you too and it'd be a damn smexy dress might I add

 

I've learned that I must let Marco know how I feel in a kind, nice and gentil way. I don't mean this in an unkind way but he's still a boy at mind and has to be told nicely like a little boy being told he can't eat my chocolate because it will spoil his dinner.

But after that, he'll act all mean about it so I hurl abuse at him and he hurls it back but less mean because he knows I'd never do anything to actually hurt him (he lets me know if it really offends him) and I stop.

Later I bring it up again if I need to. Then he kind of makes this grunty sound and apologises in his own slight way.

Like when he said something really hurtful to me and when I told him it bothered me he said he meant for it to so I pushed his buttons. Later I confronted him and he said not to take it personally but he stopped being so harsh after that so I guess it goes deeper than you'd think...

 

I like to analyse people. Esp. if they're interesting people like Marco

[Lolliepop_girl]

Teegs isn't your birthday tomorrow? I was sure I read Friday on Facebook so I didn't say it today...

[nico_collard]

Happy Birthday then for tomorrow

 

HAPPY BDAY TEEGS!

 

Teegs isn't your birthday tomorrow? I was sure I read Friday on Facebook so I didn't say it today...

 

Yep, tis friday...

 

And thanks girlies!

 

Marco likes me. I KNOW he does, even if he won't admit it.

Today I was so angry at him that I said many things that I shouldn't be proud of (but rather AM...)

He has quite a few things to prove. He is more insecure than he lets on. But as I said, I have problems and several trauma but that doesn't give ME an excuse to do half the crap that he does! He wants attention for the things he does (self harm and the formentiond stuff) but the reasons behind his attention grabbing are all really sad.

I twittered some time ago that it was NOT ok for parents to split up and one of them to get with someone else and have more kids and have pictures on the walls of the new kids and not the kids from the first marriage.

That was because I got so upset for the conversation I had with M.

 

It's kind of funny. I was going to come into school and say "How's your ego?" and it was funny because mine was frail at the time and I wondered for a while and figured out that someone who supposedly hates me and doesn't care about me(he said both) would care enough to sp on my conversation!!!

So my ego was doing just fine after that.

I pretty much told him to f*ck off today. When I got upset with him, he told me to GTF over it so I got nasty and yeah...

 

Thank you teegs!

 

That's okay hun! Any time you need someone to chat to...

 

 

 

Bitching at each other might ease the tension a bit...

 

 

And the bold bit: That reminded me of my brother's gf... she and her sister went to their father's 50th birthday, and one of his friends only mentioned the second family in his speech and didn't mention Kate and her sister... what really pissed her off was that her dad didn't step up and correct his mate...

[Lolliepop_girl]

Yep, tis friday...

 

And thanks girlies!

 

 

 

That's okay hun! Any time you need someone to chat to...

 

 

 

Bitching at each other might ease the tension a bit...

 

 

And the bold bit: That reminded me of my brother's gf... she and her sister went to their father's 50th birthday, and one of his friends only mentioned the second family in his speech and didn't mention Kate and her sister... what really pissed her off was that her dad didn't step up and correct his mate...

Actually, I think the bitching is when I stand up to him or take a stand for something when it hurts my feelings. Then he gets kind of cranky but then we start to fire unhurtful abuse at each other and if I or if he says don't say that, the other stops. I say ok, sorry and he kind of mumbles or grunts something but doesn't say it again

After the bitching gets boring, I ask something completely off the point like "Hey, are you going to get your hair cut? Leave it for a bit, I like it like that" (this gets him embarrassed because he hates his hair but I love it!) and then we start talking like we wern't just acting like monkeys verbally slinging poop at each other

 

I've just decided to watch him and his actions because something's not quite right.

First he watched me chat. That was mean and not really appropriate...

The next day he thought it was funny so I was annoyed as I said and I told him not to ever do it again. He agreed and when I asked if he'd just add me rather than invade my private conversations, he said no because he doesn't have internet though he KNOWS that I know that he hacks internet from his bedroom computer (LOL) so that's pretty weird that he wants to see me talk but not actually TALK.

 

THEN after school, he followed Mutual friend home and MF didn't reply me on Gtalk so I texted and he said Marco was there.

When I finally got to talk to him (Mutual friend) he said M tried hacking the chat history from the night before.

WEIRD!

And deceptive and mean and actually kind of creepy...

 

That's so horrible about your friend! I've had a similar thing happen to me twice though neither was the same as Kate and her sister or Marco. Either way, it's not somethng that should EVER be done. It quite obviously can screw a person up - Particularly if it happens early enough in life (M was under 10) they end up cold, controling, manipulative and paranoid because they feel like people will love them and then toss them aside like their parents' did.

[racinghorse83]

.. the conversation in here has got so heavy..

 

.. (im finishing the flag for auz

[RosinaKiwi]

I really really wish I was at armageddon right now! like In auckland cos one of the guests is the guy who plays Rufio one of the lost boys in HOOK

 

I feel a bit guilty cos I had to choose mika or armageddon and I was supposed to get my 'nephew' Greg Cipes autograph. (nephew in inverted commers cos he aint my real nephew...just calls me aunty)