My sister just called me, and she was obviously drunk.
her: Happy New Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarssssssssssss Thing!
me: We still have a few minutes.
her: WEEEEEEEEEE!!!
me:ummm, you're not driving are you?
her: No, I'm staying the night at grandma's house.
me: You got drunk with grandma?!
her: hahahahahahahaha yessssshhhhhh
me:Is she drunk?
her: She's from outer space......shhhhhhhhhhh
*grandma gets on the phone*
I had to pick your sister up from a party, but she's okay.
me: How much did she drink?
grandma: She only had a wine cooler.
me: Oh my gosh...
grandma:I know! She's such a lightweight
*in the background*
"I'm flyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng!!!"
*CRASH!*
grandma: I gotta go.....