Susan Smith

I don’t understand why someone would ask a creepy question about a famously private couple, to their friend who’s doing a Q&A about HIMSELF not about others. At the very minimum it’s rude to Max for not asking questions that directly relate to him and instead using him by asking questions to fuel your obsession with some random couple who’s private life is none of your business. People on twitter have expressed their disgust much better and more passionately than I have but I’m glad to see it’s mostly unanimous 

Hello I just came back here to share an opinion which I’m pretty sure will unite us all. This is in regards to Max’s latest Instagram story where he answered a childish question I honestly don’t think he should have nor had the right to answer. It’s these kind of invasive, prying and lowkey sexualising questions (asked to MAX of all people) that come as a result of tolerating lesser stuff. I have no idea about the age of the person who asked the question by the way but I’m guessing either 13 or 50. So yeah 😬😬 The fact that question was ANSWERED is abhorrent, but the fact it was asked is a problem too and a problem we need to deal with at this end. Okay thank you😅

Here it is: 

I know this discussion has been dead for a few days, but I just saw this post on Instagram and it provides a pretty cool summary I think https://www.instagram.com/p/CH5T3TZLKmV/?igshid=ii9pbcx6pzor

3 minutes ago, chanleon said:

Exactly.

 

I just realised when earlier someone said "he humps things on stage it's obvious that we have the right to sexualise him if he does it already": that's exactly what people say at rape victims? "She wears a short skirt so she's asking to be sexualised". Nope. Mika can hump all the bear costume wearing people in the world and it's still going to be uncomfortable for us and possibly Mika himself that people comment explicit sexual remarks. 

It reminds me of this comment I responded to on Tiktok: 

16 minutes ago, krysady said:

@chanleon I totally understand your reason for opening this thread and I must admit that even if I'm not a child-teen-young person, I often find myself extremely embarrassed by some remarks and reactions I see on social media. It's not like I'm a prude person or something, but I do believe that this kind of conversation should remain private for the sake of common sense and decency. Moreover, I will never understand why the need to even tag Mika in these inappropriate discussions, and I always hope he will not notice it    Honestly, I don't know how much Mika also enjoy this explicit comments, but I have my doubts...

Anyway, I wish that everyone feeling the need to post their feelings publicly, to take a moment before that and realize that there's also kids around reading it, or if they would feel comfortable telling to Mika in his face that thing. Otherwise, there's a lot of ways to keep it private, it's so simple  

Ahh I really love this reply! It sums it up so well, and yes I can never understand why people tag him in such things 😂 a lot of the time I hope he doesn’t check his notifications 

I think we should stop reducing this to just “a difference of humour” because it’s more that that. Using an excuse like “he sexualises himself already” is a common, misogynistic victim blaming phrase often flung around so I have to dismiss that. Also, whether or not mika finds it funny, this is less about what makes HIM uncomfortable and more about what’s morally decent/ comfortable for everyone. And I do not think many of the comments I personally am talking about were made with comedic intent 

I also would like to say that the people interacting in this thread are not necessarily the people this is directed at! Thank you very much for talking with us. I think partly the reason chandler started this thread is we think it would be rude for us to publicly name and shame those we think make inappropriate comments, so this discussion is a less direct way for us to challenge some issues and talk with people rather than attack them 

2 hours ago, chanleon said:

What I'm trying to get across is that sexualisation is a thing and it's not pleasant. I will not believe if you tell me Mika is happy about, for example, 60 year olds explicitly posting about their sexual desires with him.

That's not the "sexy" aspect of pop. Freddie Mercury wore tight ass outfits and performed marvellous shows. That's different compared to a thirsty comments section.

 

And this wasn't even particularly about Mika's opinion but more on the younger fans'. The difference between what Mika does on stage and a comments section is that there's clear consent in the first while many comments are uncalled for.

 

I'll specify these kind go comments often are on very normal pictures of fully dressed Mika.  

It's not the context that causes the reactions. That's why we mean these comments are often uncalled for

Chandler perfectly articulated the point I wanted to make. One concept the feminist movement is very keen to educate people on, is that someone sexualising themselves does not give YOU the right to sexualise them. You often see comments from men online like “how can women post revealing sexy pictures of themselves like this, then get mad when people objectify them?😂”. The reason is the same as why people chose to take showers but will get angry if you unexpectedly throw a bucket of water over them. There’s no crime in speaking sexually of things INTENDED to be sexual, but overly sexualising normal things is when it becomes sexualisation. Also no ones trying to police peoples thoughts, I just think it’s a matter of what might be distasteful to post online. And obviously tastes differ! Which is why we were just sharing what others find to be distasteful and uncomfortable, so that people are aware of that❤️

What I meant before about tolerating those comments from early teens, is that we KNOW they’re young and immature haha. While I have nothing against people dancing on tables 😂, saying “older people don’t necessarily know better” is in a way admitting those sort of comments are unacceptable. And now that we’re having this conversation, hopefully we can all educate each other to become a bit more aware and take each other’s views into account 

Hey, I just wanted to say I totally agree with Chandler and this is an issue I’ve long discussed with people in the fandom. To clear up any debate, I would like to say the difference between older women and teenage girls making “inappropriate comments” is that everyone knows the teenage girls thing is a stereotype. I often joke about “13 year old girls” and in general we put up with their somewhat off colour comments under the impression that in a year or two they’ll grow out of it and they’ve just had their sexual awakening or whatever. But people who are the age of parents/ grandparents don’t have that excuse and should know better. I would also argue that people in my own age group (15-23) tend to make comments that have an overtone of comedy or irony? E.g. “no hetero but-“ “no thoughts head empty”. Whereas comments from other age groups appear to be too sincere in a way that can come across as creepy? Obviously people of ANY age from 13-65 who make sexualising comments I don’t associate with, it just seems to be disproportionately balanced in one age group. 

On 10/26/2010 at 11:47 AM, sariflor said:

 

Yeah I agree. Not just any regular guys though: usually one needs to be blond and cute as well to make the cut .

Wait was that an actual thing 😂 does anyone have any evidence of this? 

Does anyone who was there know what that guy shouted at the beginning of Big Girl to make Mika laugh? 😂 Or have a full video of mikas talking bits in relax? 

10 hours ago, silver said:

Nicole Gertrude @nicolegertrude

1h

Also. He finished with one of my favourite pieces of his, the bonus track at the like 6 minute mark of the last song of his first album. It is even more hauntingly beautiful live.

He sang Over My Shoulder??

1 hour ago, giraffeandy said:

 

I do believe he'll release some EPs this or next year (or the year after...) but I don't believe he'll release the book anytime soon... So i just don't want to think about it yet. 

Oh right no false hope 😂

32 minutes ago, mellody said:

 

She even called him Myka instead of Mika.  

Omg that was so annoying 

58 minutes ago, giraffeandy said:

I found the longer radio interview with the male moderator really interesting, the other shorter one with the female moderator was a bit in a hurry, I had the feeling Mika is interviewing himself and the woman was just reacting with "Yes/Yeah!/Right"...  She doesn't seem to be involved in to the conversation as much. 

But the project with different EPs sounds great. I won't comment on the book yet... 

Why do you say you won’t comment on the book yet😂

Just now, giraffeandy said:

 

😂😂true. I thought it had just been abandoned but yay it is coming 

I was so excited about the Spanish thing until I remembered I can’t speak Spanish lmao. So I’ll have to wait ages for some lovely person to subtitle it 😂

So much is happening! An Arabic EP, this Spanish project, and he’s still writing the book! Which means it’s on it’s way!😂

1 hour ago, krysady said:

 

Ah, thanks, so this is what I was remembering about Lola 

 

 

Almost all of us knew it, but since it was a private thing it was not our business to discuss it here until Mika decided to say it with his words 

Aww. Was it quite obvious? They seem rly cute

3 minutes ago, maggie112 said:

This is the one about OOL 

 

The other one doesn’t show up in topic results but just in status updates, it was from March 17th 2011 and it’s “"I think I just heard the coolest song Mika ever wrote!"“  

 

Oh my gooood that’s so cute! Thank you so much! Aw I didn’t know he filmed/edited Track any Track that means when mika was talking about OOL he was looking right at andy🥰😭 did noone at the time suspect they were dating? 

3 hours ago, maggie112 said:

I think that in “Mika twitter updates” topics on Mfc of the time there are reported this kind of tweets, since he was publicly talking about Mika’s music 

Could u possibly send the link to that topic? I don’t know how to work this website yet😂

3 hours ago, lormare73 said:

 

In the Freeda video interview he said, speaking about the writing of the new album, "I wanna talk about my mum, I wanna talk about my dad, I wanna talk about my partner Andy...". As always, there are lots of interviews in which he contradict himself...  He will never learn... 😂

😂

Just now, krysady said:

Yet he declared that Tomorrow is not about Andy, that any of the songs from MNIMH are not about him 

Yes but lmao that’s just him being him. And he also said Tomorrow was about getting back together with someone you swore you’d never be with again. Ring any bells?😂 also it’s not rly about a person per se, more an event