Jump to content

WARNING: Rambling may occur


HollyD

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 2.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

hi guys!!!

 

I am back for a bit before my tea so as requested here is my rewrite of Grace Kelly! (if ppl dont know what I am on about look back a few pages I have explained there!)

 

The title is not final and I probably have a few touch ups to make to the poem but would love everyone's feedback on it!! So here it is...

 

Who do you think I am?

Who are you to state who I am,

or who I should be?

You try to make me conform to your ways,

to become someone I'm not!

 

I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this!

 

I am a unique person,

not a crowd follower.

Don't try to manipulate me,

because it won't work.

 

You think everyone will come in here,

and change themselves until you are happy,

Well I won't!

I know who I am and I'm sticking to it!!!

 

Nobody can label me

And that’s the way it’s going to be,

I won’t be your lump of clay

For you to model into your ideal image.

That’s not me!

 

I do things my way, on my terms,

Not on anybody else’s

And if you can’t accept that,

You know what you can do

 

You are no different from the rest

They all want to change me,

But they can’t, because I won’t let them,

And I won’t let you!

 

My identity is what makes me who I am

And without it, who am I?

 

 

So, what do u think? i am not sure on the ending yet, my other idea was to make it more general so that instead of My identity is what makes me who I am, it would be our identity makes us who we are. But I thought as this is quite a personal poem the ending should also be personal. But what do u guys think???

I think you should let it as you posted it, i really like it. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi guys!!!

 

I am back for a bit before my tea so as requested here is my rewrite of Grace Kelly! (if ppl dont know what I am on about look back a few pages I have explained there!)

 

The title is not final and I probably have a few touch ups to make to the poem but would love everyone's feedback on it!! So here it is...

 

Who do you think I am?

Who are you to state who I am,

or who I should be?

You try to make me conform to your ways,

to become someone I'm not!

 

I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this!

 

I am a unique person,

not a crowd follower.

Don't try to manipulate me,

because it won't work.

 

You think everyone will come in here,

and change themselves until you are happy,

Well I won't!

I know who I am and I'm sticking to it!!!

 

Nobody can label me

And that’s the way it’s going to be,

I won’t be your lump of clay

For you to model into your ideal image.

That’s not me!

 

I do things my way, on my terms,

Not on anybody else’s

And if you can’t accept that,

You know what you can do

 

You are no different from the rest

They all want to change me,

But they can’t, because I won’t let them,

And I won’t let you!

 

My identity is what makes me who I am

And without it, who am I?

 

 

 

So, what do u think? i am not sure on the ending yet, my other idea was to make it more general so that instead of My identity is what makes me who I am, it would be our identity makes us who we are. But I thought as this is quite a personal poem the ending should also be personal. But what do u guys think???

 

 

I love the endingg! I really like it now i don't think there's anything you should change.. Great jobb :thumb_yello::D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love the endingg! I really like it now i don't think there's anything you should change.. Great jobb :thumb_yello::D

 

 

Thankyou...on to the next one. I am jus working on final idea for this one and will start writing it soon!!! :wub2: thanks for the lovely comment!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry I didnt notice the poem, I only looked on the most current page.

Its really good, it really get the message across!

I love this bit

 

"I won’t be your lump of clay

For you to model into your ideal image."

 

Thats so true and a brilliant metaphor!

Might have to borrow that some time XX

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry I didnt notice the poem, I only looked on the most current page.

Its really good, it really get the message across!

I love this bit

 

"I won’t be your lump of clay

For you to model into your ideal image."

 

Thats so true and a brilliant metaphor!

Might have to borrow that some time XX

 

Thanks, I realy appreciate all your comments, yeah I like to include metaphors in my poems it adds some depth to it! I am jus working on the next poem at mo! Will post it when I am done!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I did one a while back when I was heartbroken over my ex... that was quite good... It was very "ef you then you s**t"

 

I love your signature picture... I really want some sexy Mika pictures now!

The only problem with Mika is that you know he'll never fall in love with you.. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I did one a while back when I was heartbroken over my ex... that was quite good... It was very "ef you then you s**t"

 

I love your signature picture... I really want some sexy Mika pictures now!

The only problem with Mika is that you know he'll never fall in love with you.. :(

 

 

Thanks, I love that pic, is def one of my favourites!!! Yeah poetry is good for that sort of thing! Yeah that is a huge problem but oh well!!! if u want sexy Mika pics I have loads, have u got msn?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Privacy Policy