calicojasmine

Aww Ingie

That happened this year at my school too. A girl died at my school, at a cross country match. She just collapsed, and she was only a freshmen (9th grade)

And it just impacted everyone. It was so quiet and just in the air and the whole feel of the school was completely different that it usually was. Everyone would just look so sad everyone was hugging and crying...

I didn't know her, but it made my cry immediately... Just seeing the people crying and knowing that she had people who love her and care for her forever... and she was so young too...

It just made me feel so sad for her family, and her brother went to the my school too. He was absent for a long time, but he came back and I saw him walking down the stairs, and he had all of his friends just walking with him and supporting him...

And that's when you realize what you posted in the first post. That life won't go on forever, and you have to let everyone know how much you love them and care for them, because you never know when someone can be gone..

I understand how you feel

Now try and understand how sad it would be if she had NO ONE to love her and care for her... not one individual supporting her through probably the most difficult episode in her life..... Devastating, to say the least.....

Now take it one step further - people who are "supposed" to be the ones who care for you the most really don't..... they lie to you daily, they insult your intelligence, they tell you to "stop dwelling on your problems" when you are merely trying to cope the best you can on these life and death issues - ALONE!!! And they do not believe one word spoken from your mouth. In fact, NO ONE stands up for you..... which just makes everything that much harder.... You feel your life slipping away... meanwhile, the symptoms worsen, there are side effects from the medications, you are weakening every day, and day-to-day activities like grocery shopping and running errands become impossible. No one offers to help. Your immune system takes a beating and suddenly you are always sick with one thing or another. You end up going without food or drinks in your apt. for weeks, because no one thinks to check in on you to see if you're still alive. In fact, the phone hasn't rung in months. If you need to go to hospital, be prepared to take yourself. Don't expect any visitors. When discharged home - same story. No one's gonna help, so you either rupture your stitches trying to vacuum (not worth it!) or you live in a pig pen for 8-10 weeks.. and who really gives a s***t? Like no one's coming over to do the white glove inspection test.... Some people are fortunate - and this is just a temporary setback. I, however, have lived my life like this. And I know it won't be getting better anytime soon.

I am suffering enough from all the inuendos and implications that serious, chronic and terminal illness brings. It is just the straw that breaks the camel's back to be constantly lectured that I must "see the good" and "get over the bad" and "life is wonderful" and all the rest of this crap. No one knows how I feel - or what I've endured - or what I am going to have to endure.... It will NOT BE A PRETTY SIGHT!!! People, I live for every hour - that's how tenuous my life is. And I suffer - every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year..... well, you get the message.... And, I know, I know - careful what you wish for - but yes there are days that I implore Dr. Death to "bring it on"....

Good for you, it takes real strength to force yourself to get over something sh*tty, well that is, you might NEVER get over some things, but the way I see it, if we hang onto our open wounds and poke them all the time making them sore, then we have let some low life get the better of us and win, and I prefer to see myself as a survivor.

yeah I have emotional scars but who ever said life was easy cos it's not but I think it's how we DEAL with our problems that matter.

I sometimes think people these days just have this idea that life is meant to be easy and they think everyone else apart form THEM has a sunny lovely life.

This is not so at all and I have known friends who have never had anything to emotionally scar them during their growing up years yet something comes up in their 40's or so and they can't deal with it as they have never had to.

Life is hard at times, EVERYONE at some point or other has bad stuff happen to them, and what one person might never get over, another does their damdest to try, and some succeed.

 

So to sum up, don't let the b*stards grind you down, we only get once chance here so yeah there are going to be up's and down's but if there were no down's how would we recognize and appreciate the up's.

 

(ps I have bad days too we all do, and sometimes we need help to see the light at the end of that tunnel).

Sparkly, I get the distinct impression that you think I am wallowing in my past problems/abuse and indulging in a grand, drawn out Pity Party. This is not so.. I am currently in the fight for my life..... and all the hardships/trauma and abuse in my past have all served to provide excellent basic training for these complicated, but not all that new, challenges.

One more thing...yes, sometimes we DO need some help in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - however, in my experience it's usually an oncoming train................ LOL!

You caught me on one of my really bad days..... I'm running out of time here. I have bad days, worse days and horrendous days. Yes, its about Quality Not Quantity... But it's hard to enjoy when all you know is pain. That's why you DO have to enjoy it while you can. Carpe Diem. Seize the Day. Do the Right Thing Right Now for the Right Reasons. Make it count.

I only know suffering and I feel compelled to end it all...

HAHAHAHAHA So typical.... I could jump off a bridge and no one would notice....

very interesting posts guys! It's amazing how all of ours pasts has suffered sadness at one point or another...no wonder we're Mika fans

I only know suffering and I feel compelled to end it all...

I'm hoping to get as much information possible on this disease that I can. So far I have met with a dietician, a celiac disease support group and have done a lot ( a lot a lot a lot) of research online. What I would really like though is to find people to connect with personally and learn tricks, recipes.... what have you. I have a 3 year old little girl who was just recently diagnosed with celiac disease and it's not easy. I know it's just the beginning and that things will get better and come more naturally with time, but wow, This is overwhelming.

Just wanted to let you know - I have a niece in Montreal who has celiac disease. It took forever to diagnose and she was sooo horribly ill for quite awhile, even after it was diagnosed. But she got lots of good information and eventually got stabilized and today she is better than ever! So don't give up hope! At least you know what you're dealing with, which is half the battle! Once your little girl is on the appropriate diet I'm sure things will turn around. Good luck with everything - you're in my thoughts...

 

lol, that's the opposite of me...i trust everyone in a minute:roftl:

I totally go blind when it comes to trust

 

you know i'm a loner too,i choose it too but on the other hand you shouldnt close you heart really, it's not worth it really, it's cool to be:mf_lustslow: sometimes

 

Ohhhhhhh nooooooooooo........ I've been burned too many times!!!!!

AWESOME THREAD!!!!!!!!!!

I left my ex-husband 12 years ago - he was abusive in every sense of the word. I have learned NOT to depend on anyone for anything QUOTE]

 

 

never ever depend on anyone but yourself:thumb_yello: so many people stay with abusive jerks, i'm proud of you you left though i dont no you and let me offer you some:flowers2: something that he probably nver did or not very often i'm sure. take care of yourself because nobody else will:wink2:

 

xx

 

Thank you for that.... Yes, I know about taking care of myself and that no one else will - that was my whole point - in the whole 12 years since I left my ex I haven't been in any kind of relationship - which suits me just fine. My trust factor on a scale of one to ten is probably minus ten..........

I am happy today because I just found out that the cast of SCTV (Martin Short, Andrea Martin, Eugene Levy, et al) is doing a benefit reunion show at the Second City in Toronto. I've got tickets for the show and a cocktail reception with the cast.

NICE!!!!

My life reads like a Greek Tragedy. I have suffered multiple traumas, many illnesses and ongoing abuse. My story began in utero when my mother took a toxic drug eventually found to cause cancer in the daughters of women who took this prescription. I have been seriously - no, critically ill all my life. For a long time doctors did not believe me and treated me with psychotropics (psych. meds) which made me catatonic. By the time I was properly diagnosed it was too late - my life has been on a downward spiral since. I had a career as a medical social worker but was forced to go on disability in 2001 due to several chronic medical conditions. Now I have been diagnosed yet again with a progressive/terminal condition - why? Because of all the drugs (medications) that have been prescribed over the years. I live alone with my cat and have virtually little support. I left my ex-husband 12 years ago - he was abusive in every sense of the word. I have learned NOT to depend on anyone for anything - and have survived because I developed street smarts and advocated for myself. IF I HAD BEEN STUPID I WOULD BE DEAD. I actually diagnosed several of my conditions myself - haha - missed my true calling - should've been a doctor! Anyways - this is not about having a Pity Party - it's about who I am.... and despite the pain and angst I am STILL doing for others and being the selfless individual that is "Calamity Joan".......

Suzanne, that's great news!!!!

I wish some of that good fortune would rub off on me....

*hugs* hi sweet lady

 

I'm listening to a Mika concert on loop over and over and dying my hair, and dancing around my room to make myself feel better

I'm sooo glad you are....

I'm fighting hard.....

Ongoing struggle here....

I think I'm losing...

I know, isn't it entrancing? LOL

 

*group hug* I'm feeling a little low, so I'm gonna infuse myself with some Mika goodness.

 

I have to go home soon, back to Victoria, for a quick visit, cause my precious baby, Emily, my feline daughter, at the tender age of 16, has contracted an illness that will take her in 3-4 weeks. I'm thankful i have to the time to plan around this.

 

some people may feel like it's unimportant because it's a pet, but she's my baby. I will never have real children, so my pets are as close as I get, and we're very close. So I'm going to miss her horribly.

 

finally stopped crying an hour ago, and can finally breathe again LOL

 

Well I guess it's as good a reason as any to meet other Mika fans too, as I'm sure I will meet Elanorelle while I'm there. there's no way I'm going to Victoria and NOT meeting THAT woman.

 

Ok, now that's done, and I'm putting on Love Today and I'm going to hop around my room for a couple of minutes

Makes me wanna cry my eyes out.........................

But then again, it won't take much to bring me to tears.......

Hello!!!

 

It's not late yet! LOL

 

Oh wait, I'm sure it's late somewhere, isn't it! LOL Hi, i'm Crystal, nice to meet you

Hey You! Still hyper/giddy/crazy/happy????

Hello - is anybody home?

Joan,

I had no idea any of this was going on for you.... I truly hope you are doing okay, and I really admire your positivity. We can all learn a lot from u!! it's so true...life is about living, about doing all the things we most want to do and making the most of everyday. I'll keep you in my prayers, and if u ever need anything, you know where I am

I'm glad I've gotten to know you better through the Valentine's gift saga and I'm sure we'll be working on something else for his Curliness in the future!!!

Keep smiling

xxxxx

Joan! I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through..and I genuinly hope things work out..you really deserve for that to happen because you've been so great here on MFC..and you seem like an amazing person..i'm so glad you got the opportunity to send this letter to mika..your positivitey and the way you look at things are amazing..and as long as you keep thinking that way things will be okay.. i wish i could do that too.. and don't forget that we'd all be mroe than willing to offer help if you need it.. i hope things work out.. miracles happen everyday.. take care x

Sorry I disappeared last night, I was making avatars and got really caught up in it. Joan, I'm really sorry to hear about all the troubles you've been through, and I find you very inspiring for always looking on the bright side of things. I hope everything works out for the best with you!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL:thumb_yello: !!!

You are all so great!!!

Yeah, it gets hard sometimes, but knowing there are wonderful people like you guys in the world makes it a hell of a lot easier, believe me... just a keyboard away, too.....

See what Mika has done? On so many levels?????? There really is hope - for everyone....

Here in Canada we celebrate Mother's Day in May (same as the U.S.) That is, if you CELEBRATE your mother.....

i've on the drug too!

 

no sleep for me!

This is crazy, man!!! Jonesing for the Mika Man!! Starting to hurt really bad!!!! I'm gonna have to pull out the DVD - watch the Brit Awards for the ga-zillionth time...... my fingernails are all chewed out, the floor is worn through and Cali is threatening mutiny or moving out, whichever comes first...... I'm gettin' skaared...........

*hugs* I hear ya there girlchild!

hehehe glad someone does!!! Are you still up? Man, those Mika drugs! Powerful stuff, eh?

Greetings All!

Glad to see you all. Thank you - you help me with the pain.............

Aw, I definitely agree! This place is wonderful and I'm thankful to have met so many nice people from here...yourself included.

 

I have to run to bed now....hope to chat with you again soon!

Pleasant Mika Dreams......

I know it's really quite interesting, I don't think I've stopped smiling since I joined this fan club about 4 hours ago, and I giggle just for no reason, and my face is starting to hurt LOL

UH OH !!! SORE FACE 1ST SIGN OF IMPENDING MIKA MADNESS - YOU ARE A GONER NOW FOR SHORE!!!!!!!!!

Nudge nudge, nudge nudge, say no more say no more, eh, eh? A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh, eh?!

 

 

I love Monty Python.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE LOVE IT!!! My former stoner days.... what a mess!!! *****giggles madly, runs from room*******

Well, it's really wonderful that you can look on the bright side of things. Although I have not known you that long, I am happy to hear that life has lasted longer than you ever anticipated. I hope that you can continue to find the silver linings and to live life to its fullest. *hugs*

THANK GOD FOR MIKA!!!!!!!!!!!

And thank god for MFC and wonderful people like you, everyone here tonight and OF COURSE all the wonderful new friends from the concert... MFC ROCKS BIG TIME!!! I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS!!!

LOL it's so true!!! DRUG OF CHOICE!! LMAO it's like...laughing gas, and uh..some other thing that makes you giggley and squealy and bouncy and singy.....LOL

 

Ok i'm feeling silly now!!! WHEE!! I love being silly!!!!

Now you know why I'm sooo strung out!!!!! Joan is jonesing......

Mika brings out the little kid in all of us...and, erm, certain other feelings that aren't so little-kiddish...

I don't know WHAT you're talking about! ******nudge, nuge, wink, wink, say no more.....*******