NowTheDreamsWontDo

Too tired and pissed to control my piece of sh.t of a midget computer right now, but I will rerecord first thing tomorrow morning. It will be available for a week anyway night night!

Oh yeeees, much nicer! Thought it was indeed much too in-your-face, but I really like this version

Albums coming out in exactly a month?

I am a bad bad person. Just wrote a message to the owner of G-A-Y on Facebook asking about the Mika event. Feeling like a stalker now

Good for you! If he'd just made sure there is someone to actually answer e-mails... But he didn't so DIKKE BULT.

8 October: http://soundcloud.com/mari62/mika-jo-whiley-radio-bbc2-26-7 (0.48)

Yay can live with that! Just going to forget about the first date. Still love this interview btw. I still can't get over only hearing these few seconds of TOOL tho haha

Recording worked just missed a part of it so I'm going to try and rerecord it as soon as its online, otherwise upload it like this.

I am actually recording but I'm not quite sure if I'm recording the show... I can hear it play but audacity may be recording my microfone. I have no Internet on my own computer, so I'm trying on an iPad, Samsung tab and 2 netbooks XD

I think I'll be able to record it. Have done radio recordings for ages and can actually receive radio 2 here so it should be just fine

No news ?

None whatsoever.

I find this article on a gay website, it is in french (sorry ) but with google translator you could understand. It is about coming out, private life and a little bit about Mika's coming out http://www.za-gay.org/actu/3876/mika-est-gay-et-alors/

It is really well explain and in the point of you of someone from the gay community.

Dear god I thought I'd "just" read that but it's quite complicated lol. Anyways, I'm trying, I'm trying. Got as far as Ricky Martins already hehehe.

Argh!!! If only we could over that one, it would be so great!

 

 

 

In that light, someone putting a 'can't even think straight' sticker on your computer is kind of nasty. Good luck with all that though. Even though it sounds like you have found a good way to handle your environment, it must be frustrating at times.

Thank you, you're sweet. But honestly, that sticker is only there because I've said it myself about a biiillllioon times. Besides, I've done worse to her hihi. Nah, my mum is the only one who would get the joke to begin with and she knows about my gay jokes that started when people at school made up a rumour that me and my best girlfriend were a couple and we only denied it to the people who mattered. To the one who made it up we acted like a couple whaha. Oh good old days. Never actually stopped, come to think about it LOL.

Don't worry about it being long. I didn't mean it was too long. It was well-written and a shorter post wouldn't have captured the point so well.

 

I think we agree completely. I gave the example of those children to point at the underlying problem of how much people and society like labels. I must say, personally, from a purely philosophical point of view, I would have liked Mika to never say anything about his orientation (including the bisexual statement). "I'm in a happy relationship with a man and I still refuse to be labelled" would have been a stronger statement, at least to me.

 

Having said that, I can understand how it can be liberating for him to come out, and clearly it's up to him how he presents himself. Also, it probably would have put him in a more difficult position than simply labelling himself like he did now, and the guy deserves some rest on the topic, really.

Yyyeeeees thank you someone who agreeesss XD No seriously, I suppose I'm just in an earlier state than he is, but I have been debating with me (and my parents I suppose) about what label to put on myself and what to come out as, which are again two different things, at least in my case they are. My mother asked me if I was a lesbian when I was ten (yeah really) and I just replied... You what? Lol. Ever since my whole family just assumes I am, so the easiest thing to do was just stop saying no. And you know what, I kinda did. At one time I was just so bored with the questions but also so hurt and feeling ignored and angry about this whole subject that I just asked them to shut up already and said that when I actually do fall in love, man or woman, they'll hear back from me. Not that it helped in the slightest, but at least they are introduced to the idea of me having a boyfriend once now LOL.

Anyways, I have always believed my sexuality too complicated to be labeled. I don't even fancy people, I fancy their brains more than anything. To have someone so amazing considering himself labelless Has always been a huge inspiration for me. Even though, I must say that it is really really tiring to have to continuously explain yourself. Therefore I can most certainly understand that it's just easier to come out and be done with it. I do sometimes. Just depends if I've got the energy to discuss it in length.

@NowTheDreamsWontDo Thanks for all three stories from real life, I really liked reading them. I have never met a young boy who would act so gay, although the fact that at age 4 he knows what it means to be gay (well, more or less, anyway) shows that his parents have been talking to him about that. Actually, it sounds like Mika's Toy Boy story but with a more understanding female figure in the family and probably a happy ending, too. I think @smokesignal makes a good point that it does depend on what is meants by these kids coming outs: if it comes with a 'label' or is only about letting these kids behave as they would and be open about their love interests, although in this case it is probably advisable for parents to explain that the love interest may feel differently about that... It must be an extremely difficult issue for parents to handle, especially at such early age of the child.

Thank you, I really enjoy writing them as well. Just to set the record straight, so to speak, tho, he was already 8 when he started wishing for Kurt & Blaine to be gay together, not 4. I asked him immediately how he even knew that word and like you said, it was him father who had explained it to him.

I must confess that I laughed my guts out when you mentioned Toy Boy. He absolutely loves this song as well. Just never ever thought about how terribly ironic that is XD You are right tho... After finding not only his mother's Mistresses - but only the first season - DVDs but also an illustrated version of the poems of Sappho and a first edition of A Single Man I was certain she was bi. Never found out so might as well be true whaha.

Oh well back to the topic, I'm sure it much indeed be ridiculously hard to deal with these situations. The main problem, I think, is not as much people judging him for being gay, but people not believing him. From experience I can say that people tend to not take your word for it when it comes to your sexuality in the first place. Many tell you that you are too young to know in the first place, that you just don't know what you want yet. And honestly, who can blame them? Unless you have found the love of your life, how can you ever know. Ok I've already discussed this in length earlier, but really, how is a 10-year-old supposed to know? In his case it's clear as day that he is not straight, but how exactly is anyone supposed to know he's gay?

The terrible thing is that people have a very strong longing for labels. You are right, there is an enormous difference between giving in to your feelings and being open about them and coming out. Ideally, one should always be able to speak truthfully without being judged. Obviously this is hardly ever the case. I do think however that this has more to do with this obsessive need for labels than anything else. I mean, if this boy tells people about his feelings, they will not think "oh we'll I don't care what you are". They are going to want a label, probably assign one to him (which is never going to be bi as that is just a label for confused people and sluts) but not believe him when he does label himself. I know this sounds crazily cynical, but in essence I really do think that's the case.

I'm not going to quote the whole story, since it's so long. But thanks for putting it there. I was trying to put a bit of the other side of the story in what I wrote, but it ended up a completely incomprehensible mess, so I gave up on it.

 

There are indeed people where you just know, even in childhood (hearing Mika talk about his childhood sometimes, I think it's safe to assume his parents would have had a clue by the time they pulled him out of school). A hunch like that is not necessarily always correct though. Admittedly, my gaydar is nonexistent because I don't give a ****, so other people are probably better at it guessing...

 

Anyway, I would never want to push someone back into the closet, but there's a difference between saying you're in love with someone from the same (or other) gender or saying that you're gay (or straight). I wouldn't want anyone to put either of those labels on themselves unless they're certain about it and comfortable with it. I know a 'billy brown' and although that story turned out ok (he's married to his lover now, and him and his ex-wife are still friends), people shouldn't push themselves to be in a relationship where they don't belong.

 

As for that boy, I hope his friends will be as sweet and supportive as his parents, and I just wish he could live in a world where it didn't matter. Because that's the only way people are really going to have the freedom to figure this stuff out for themselves, on their own terms, and in their own time.

Haha yeah sorry for it being so long. Hadn't realized until I had already posted it and by then I wasn't going to change a single thing, except for a sentence that I had written only half of haha.

I'm glad you liked the stories. It's difficult to write them in a way that people actually believe it. Had to bring a friend over to that child's home once because they wouldn't believe I hadn't made him up XD

Anyways, I do see your point in that there is a difference between being in love (ok were talking 10-year-olds-love but you know what I mean ) and labeling and you're absolutely right. It's just that the problem here is the same, however exaggerated, as the one I have with labeling in the first place. It's supposed to be irrelevant which sex people fall in love with, but people are still soooo hang up over labels, that I think that even for a child his age people do need a label. Horrible ugggghhhh. People ask of others to be honest and open about themselves, but don't really appreciate the truth when their explanation doesn't involve a clear label. They will just call it inexperience and refuse to accept their story for what it is. If people are telling adult bisexuals or homosexuals that they just don't know what they want yet, how on earth are they going to believe a ten-year-old, whatever he says? I think that is a bigger problem than young children "just" coming out.

I find that shocking. Surely kids get the idea of being 'diferent' from the rest of their pals at an early age as everyone must have a clear idea of fancying either boys or girls even at kindergarden, but putting a 'label' to it without one having their identity fully developed is a huge mistake, in my opinion.

I am not 100% what I think about these children coming out at such a young age.

I remember playing house (vadertje & moedertje) with my best friend when I was about 5 years old and I was soooo bored with having to play the dad all the time I proposed to play house as a lesbian couple (moedertje en moedertje). Bitch said no haha. Irony lies in that she moved across the world and I have seen her twice in the past 12 years. The last time was one year ago and my gaydar wouldn't stop ringing. Hadn't had a boyfriend either, despite her being 22. Anyways, I had of course absolutely no clue then about my feelings, but it does show that I was already very open to other paradigms.

At age 11 we were doing a goodbye musical at school and the guy who did our choreography was a 15ish yo ex-student. At one point My stupid classmates decided he was too gay to be around and bullied him so much that he actually left. My teacher explained what happened to the people who had had nothing to do with the bullying, and without initially knowing what "gay" meant I decided that it was irrelevant because he was just so gooood. it didn't increase my non-existed popularity, but oh well I think he appreciated it.

Now the strangest part is being out now and seeing all these children around me. A boy I have been babysitting for 4 years painted our nails with his own yellow glitter, green glitter and pink glitter nail polish. He listens only to Mika, Sliimy and Jamai's Step Right Up & Glee. We watch these videos on my netbook (I've got a playlist for him haha). His favourite is the one where Blaine serenades Kurt. He actually said one time: I wish these two boys were in love so they were gay. Not kidding. And when I told them they actually were in love, he askewhy while bouncing off the sofa) why these two weren't married, then. I'm so happy for him that his parents are sooooo fantastic. You know, his father once noticed my "I can't even think straight" sticker on my computer (didn't even know it was there yet, friend of mine put it on XD) and all he said was: nice sticker you've got there. He already comes downstairs at night to pick up the folder of a ballet performance he saw with his parents because there is this boy dancer in it he can't help staring at. It's not going to take long for him to realise he's gay. He's 9 years old now, so however this goes, he's going to be young and I dont think he has any idea of what the world around him might think. He is already telling people the boy next door is in love with him so he might as well "come out" now.

I'm not saying that is good, necessarily, but honestly, I'd rather have him admit it now so that we can help him prepare. Also, if later on he decides he is not quite gay after all, I think people will understand.

The only alternative in this case is to scare him into staying in the closet, which is not something I'd ever ever do. Obviously nobody's going to pull him out either, but actually pushing him back in is not going to help anyone. He is so comfortable now, not holding back or making excuses. I know it is naive to think this will never change. At one point he will see what people think about him, but isn't it worth trying to at least be there for him?

Not funny :'( actually have a picture somewhere... You know to cheer you up XD

[YOUTUBE]t-wED95KD9Y&feature=[/YOUTUBE]

Lol the boy is mental I'm teeelling you.

So happy he's out and proud about it. As a gay person, I'm always happy to see the admirable people I love supporting the LGBT community - and knowing there's another gay person I look up to so much already makes it all the better!

 

And what's all this talk of not being able to marry him? Clearly, we all need to read up on beards. I will still gladly have gaybies with him.

Whoehahahaha gaybies don't care who I have children with, I'm always going to call them my gaybies.

Heh. I'm going to call my first born Gaby. As is Gaby the Gayby. Poor child XD

Haha twins! And my mom said no at first, but she caved in as I kept asking... Maybe get semi/non-permanent, that might be better if you are trying to convince her!

There isn't such a thing as non-permanent tho, apparently. My hairdresser said it just fades faster. But YEAH PURPLE! I used to have dark blue hair, but nobody noticed until it was all gone and I had my own colour back, kinda. Last year I had about 6 broad green stripes in my hair which was amaaaazing but it faded very quickly, so within 2 weeks I had yellow stripes in my hair and I looked like I had walked straight out of Little Britain XD

They've updated the event page:

 

£5 Entry Wrist Bands Available At G-A-Y Bar

Ah well we're one step further then. Seems like you're all going over to big old Compton street soon? Haven't had an answer to my email btw.

*Is slightly confused*

In my earlier post about me pulling a nightdress/all nighter and writing & drawing.

Heh. Maybe

Oh shhhh... It was supposed to say all nighter NOT nightdress stupid autocorrect haha

I'd love to see what you write and draw:wub2:

Heh. Maybe

Tiibet, I like you thoughts very much

 

And I just wanted to add the Kinsey-Scale because I had it in mind all the time while reading the discussion

 

Haha same here but but but... Only 7 categories? LOL

Crying like a baaaaaby my god that was gorgeous. Gonna pull an all nightwear and write and draw. It's the only way.