Crystal

and nothing happened then?

oh god....unsensitive man! \

 

ah yes....stupid time zones, and stupid mondaymorning oldling!

ok then....camomile tea?

Well we WERE at a party with about 30 other people, so no, nothing happened He's definitely not unsensitive though, probably one of the most spiritual, energetic, enigmatic, talented men I've met (face to face ) in a long time. I wish I had more time to get to know him better. He goes back to Chile in a month and a half

Teen pregnancy here in the UK is a difficult issue.

 

For example, our youngest dad a good few years ago was twelve, and the mother was 17. Now that is quite shocking I believe, but then several years later I read about them again in a magazine, and they are still together, moved in together, and have had to other kids since and doing rather well. So kudos to them I suppose, but I still think that both ages 12 and 17 are really young.

 

There's information everywhere about contraception now: schools, college, internet, magazines...so there's not really much of an excuse to be ignorant in my opinion...I think most cases are often carelessness but it's not always everyone's fault: condom may split, rape...

The age of consent here is 16 but will soon turn to 18, I heard. I don't know if this will change anything - probably not - but even I feel that 16 is too young. Maybe not to have sex, but to start having a family...even 18 is young, but older and wiser than a 16.

 

However, the age of consent in Holland is 12 I believe, yet they have the youngest teenage pregnancy rate, while ours is sky high. I don't know why that is...maybe our upbringing's are different...I don't know too much about it if I'm honest.

 

I remember in my school all they did was teach you about the dangers of sex: diseases, infections, underage pregnancy...and they tried to make it look as if sex was a bad thing, which of course it isn't the majority of the time...I think their aim was to try and scare people away from it which I can understand, but you know teenagers. Naughty = good. They WANT to do naughty things and see if they can get away with it. They probably think "it won't happen to me" and sometimes it won't, but it can and will. It boils back down to carelessness.

 

Going back to rape for example...if we're going to be totally open here I started my period when I was only 10 and started developing quite early. I was a target in my first three years of senior/high school because some boys liked to grope me. Suppose I was out in the street one day and some paedophile liked the look of me because I look "young, fresh and ripe". I could have quite easily got pregnant and imagine having a kid at ten years old. That would be heartbreaking. Giving birth at such a young age is so dangerous to the mother because they could break their hips, as they haven't fully developed and not ready for childbirth. Fact.

 

Having children takes up a lot of time and effort and that's why people say "teenagers ruin their lives at having kids at such a young age". They can't do anything for themselves because they have someone else's life to look after, because they're not independent. The parent's life will be on hold for several years before they can achieve any other goals like seeing the world or getting a career. And as someone who is currently working with children, I know how much hardwork they are...although obviously it's different if you're a parent and have them pretty much 24/7, but I've got the gist of it.

 

i have more to write, but have to go to work experience now lol. bye!

Thank you for that! Very well said. I think 12 is WAY to young to be having children, but if we think back to colonial times, girls were married with children by that age, it wasn't unusual at all. Strange how things change!

coffee?

 

it's raining so much....i feel like doing nothing....

 

yawn............

Well if I have coffee, I won't be able to sleep, and it's 12:30am so I should go to bed very soon

Tomorrow I will be heading to the school to catch up on some homework, and maybe see a pretty chilean boy.

Oh...I got to massage him for like...an hour and a half on Friday...mm, he says I have magic hands

WHEE!

I have identical twin nieces who are wonderful! they are so talented and funny and very smart! they love animals! and so do i!!!!yay for aunts

So how's your life been? anything good going on with ye?

I don't care what colour they are as long as they are looking in my direction, hopefully with an eyebrow raised, and a half smile on his face with that 'come hither' look.

we have more time to be the Zany Aunts! all kids need zany aunts !!

Exactly! I love being the aunt that everyone loves to visit with! The nieces and nephews jump on me and we play, and it's wonderful. Then I give them back!!! :thumb_yello:

hello canadian!!

I´m fron the argentinean adn it´s the first time I pass here

it´s very nice to leave a post here

I leave you kisses

Oh thank you for leaving a message for us!! I will be coming to visit Argentina next november in 2009! Maybe if I pass through your town we can go for coffee...or some sort of equivilent!

I tried my first traditional Colombian drink the other night, called Panela, it's sugarcane cake dissolved into water, and it's very sweet! Delicious!

I know....I won't be having kids either, not physically..there are a few very long stories why..I have serious Rheumatoid Arthritis, on lots of meds, life is just not right for me to have kids....so my energy goes to my music composiing and being with friends...yay! puppies! I saw a pic of you and a pug I WANT A PUG! I LOVE PUGS!

aww pugs are cute!

two thumbs up for more no kids!

goooooood morning, goooood monday, gooooooooooooood week!

 

i've read back and i saw ABBY online last night!

dear Abby.... please come here every day and talk to us....we won't miss yr mommy too much having you here, and you'll find some support and good time while mommy's away!

i think this is a good way to spend the 6 weeks of kath's absence, from both sides...don't you think?

i love yr weetabix joke btw.... sorry weealx!

 

and then Allegra....she's a real night-owl!

Morning!

OMG! I just fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard!

 

I vote wonderful

I think HE thinks it's awful though LOL

Now don't fall out of your chair, you could hurt yourself, and then how would you type? Do you need a seatbelt?

*hands you some rope*

crystal sweety! hi good morning!

Hello lovely!!!! *huggggggggggggggs*

Since I'm off topic anyway, I'm sure you've heard this before, I only wish my hair looked that amazing in the morning!

 

I actually like my morning hair because it's all curly and wild, but it still doesn't look that amazing

Well apparently MIKA's hair looks like his butt in the morning! LOL So depending on how you look at it, it's either wonderful or horrible!

It would be nice if they could so that all of the people who actually want the little people can have them!

 

On a completely unrelated note, I keep getting hypnotized by the moving Mika picture in your sig

yes it's quite mezmerising

He's a great, well-rounded, intelligent, about-to-become-a-teenager, average, kid. I often wish he stop teasing his younger sis, put more effort into his school work, and played less video games. But he was recently very close to winning a regional spelling bee, averages an "A" academically, and still likes to snuggle in my bed once in awhile to talk about life in general, so I really can't complain. Thanks for asking. So when it comes to "balance" I hope that the scales tilted more towards the "mom" role, than the "career" one. But I can't take all the credit either. Daddy and grandparents deserve a pat on the back too. I have been blessed with amazing support.

Sounds like you're a lucky Mama

I'm not leaving her. She has my support and she knows it. She's still my friend. But I don't try to convince her anymore. Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Good for you. Be supportive, but don't enable her negative behaviour either. Just do the best you can.

HAHAHA!!!

 

My mom gets all giggly when she tells people I'm never going to have kids, so she's never going to have to deal with how old she would feel if people started calling her "grandma." Then, again, my mom likes to stare at my head and giggle because I have more white hairs than she does. I just glare at her and remind her that I'm still young enough to get carded when I go out for drinks, unlike SOME people

 

There's a strong probability that I'm physically incapable of having kids, which is ok because I never had a strong desire to have any. I thought it was weird when all of the girls I knew in high school were trying to get pregnant so that they would have babies who would love them no matter what. I told them that they should get puppies because puppies are less fickle than people and easier to take care of than babies. They also make less unpleasant noises when they get loud

 

If I ever meet someone who changes my life and we decide a kid is just the thing that we need, we can adopt....a puppy!

LOL Awesome! I like the way you think! I'm pretty sure i'm capable of having kids, but I don't want to have any. I wish they could take the bits out and give it to someone who can't have kids, but they don't do uterine transplants.

KNOCK KNOCK, can I come in?

What's the secret password?

I've got to study more & then work- see you all tomorrow!

see you tomorrow!!

You want random?

here's random for ya!

Hi, Crystal, I thought you'd gone already.

your summer plans sound absolutely AMAZING!

I'm so happy for you!

I know you'll have a great time!

Well I went to the coffee shop to pick up some hot chocolate

I don't leave for Hawaii till the 6th of May, and I leave for my summer paradise near the end of May

No,it's not daycare,you can leave them for years,and there's also part where mothers can stay too and live with their child until its 1 year old.

Children can stay there until they are 18.

 

But,the other side of story is that there is many kids that are left like that,and parents never come back for them,and because they did not sign that their giving up of their child,child can not be given to adoptoin,so poor kid spends childhood in institution,and at same time God knows how many childless families wait and pray to get child to adopt.

Wow, I don't think we have anything like that in Canada, at least not that I've heard of. I know that there are people who give up their children into foster care if they are unable to care for them, but it's not like they do it for work/school reasons, they do it because they are unable to care for them by the standards of the government, and they take them away from the parents. If they want to get them back, they have to prove that they can take care of them. They get put into another home with another family who will take care of them in the meantime. Your way sounds a little better, that the parents can come visit, but it sounds sad that some of them get abandoned like that

I am 14 and my mother isnt proactive

I guess it's because the posters in my room are of Daleks from the English TV programme Doctor Who, so if I am honest she has no need to be proactive! For anyone who doesn't know Daleks are aliens from a science fiction show!

 

 

 

I think the English for that is social care, right? You can put kids into social care and visit them if you wish, you get the details. However most mothers dont visit their children when they're in care, which is sad. I also think that if kids are in care they can also be fostered/adopted, making it obviously near impossible for the real parents to take the child if and when they are ready for a child. But then again I think that is right, because children are not items that can be swapped around, they need stability, if you know what I mean.

Daleks are the robotic monster men "EXTERRRRRRRMINATE!"

I think that your comment about care for kids is one of the things that has always been a deciding factor on my having children. I wouldn't want to have one unless I could totally provide for it in every way possible, I wouldn't want to neglect them, I would want to make sure they had a good stable home with communicative loving parents. If they are moved around alot, it's hard to build a foundation to build the rest of your life on

I was 34 when I had my LAST! Once I fell off the perch, there was no stopping me. Career wise it's been a disaster.....

 

 

 

 

Oh, yes, totally. Unless you count the empty nest stuff......

 

 

 

My heartthrob And a long time ago. I'm shocked you know who he was

 

 

 

Very wise

Hey I paid attention to what Mom was watching

and thanks for the compliment

I still finished my degree and went on to complete another one after with a toddler. I even started a business and worked at the bank part-time.

I suppose what I meant about achieving goals is that I could not give all my projects 100% time and devotion. So everything I did was not to the best of my ability. When a person says they can achieve a "balanced" life - it doesn't mean that they are going to be successful in every facet.

Something always gives. Something always has to.

Good stuff I can understand how it must have been difficult. How old is your child now?

LOL , i kow some things might not work out for me but look at my uncle , couldnt afford college or U and he owns his own company. Millionaire

Lucky!! Way to go

hello everyone.

Crystal, perhaps another reason for me to move to Canada, eh?!!!

Theres LOTS of room here!! come on over! We love new people here!

Hiya Leona - sounds like the answer to your pain does indeed

lie in Canada - there may be a mass exodus after reading Crystal's

posts!!!

YAY Everyone will be closer to me!!!!!

 

 

Had to quote this whole post as that sounds so amazing... Would love to stay somewhere peaceful like that.... and Hawaii - You are so lucky... Have a great time hunny

 

How's everyone this fine Sunday Afternoon

Thanks!! It will totally be amazing, and I'm so much looking forward to it! and you will see pictures when I come back from hawaii!

Evening all,

 

and gibberish

Hi Weeeeeealy!

And for the second time this afternoon I've spit tea all over the place!!!!

 

It was a fresh hot brew too!

Oh good lord! I hope you didn't burn yourself!!!

I dare you!

 

Aren't there trials?

Here in canada, it's prescribed for conditions like glaucoma, arthritis, AIDS, hepititus C, cancer, anything that could be considered a chronic illness that it can help. My friend who passed away in 2002 from AIDS had a prescription for years, because the medication he was on made him nauseous, and he couldn't sleep, and he was always in pain. Thats where I learned about the Compassion Clubs of Canada.

Maybe I'm oldfashioned or somethig like that,but I think 14-15 is too early for sex,and not to mention child! At the teen age you're still more a kid than an adult. But in case of "accident" I think best solution are those institutions (don't know their name in english) where mothers can leave their child and visiting them,and then when they finish school/get job they can take their child back.

Wow I've never heard of a place like that, unless you mean daycare, where you drop your child off in the morning and go to work or school then pick them up in the afternoons.

this institution you speak of, you leave them there for a long period of time?

I had my first child at 23. I was not a teenager, but it wasn't planned and I was not mentally or psychologically ready for being a mom. I was too self centered and I didn't even know what I wanted with my life. I was in my last year of university and I was a very ambitious young woman who had big plans. Realistically, I knew having this child would significantly change the goals I wanted to achieve.

But I decided at the time that this was something that I could do because I had so much support from my family, my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) and his family too. No regrets of course. But it was the most difficult, life changing event in those first few years of my son's life.

 

I remember the stares I got in public, because although I was in my early twenties, I looked 16. I felt stigmatized and as much as I tried to ignore it - it felt awful. If it wasn't degrading stares, it was pity.

 

I thought I knew everything about life at 23. Was I ever wrong. Although I had a lot of support, you realize that being "the mom" meant you were ultimately and primarily this child's caregiver, and this thought was overwhelming when you are not prepared, regardless of how old you are.

Hey Suzy, thanks for sharing your story. How did you find that having a child affected your goals? You said you were going to University at the time, have you still been able to utilize your education to achieve your long term goals? Or did you find that your life took a sharp turn in a different direction?

Yeahhh BUT (i love but(t)'s) I'm also not in highschool :eek: So i have no idea what my mind will be thinking next year . I hope i keep the same train of thought because i actually have goals , and dreams , and I believe at this age i Know what's best for me . Go to school , be best I can be , don't do drugs , and try to go to University and prepare a good life for myself .

Excellent idea that's what I thought too, and here I am, no kids, 34 and going to college I still don't plan on children, and am enjoying my freedom from the constraint.

No, I was REALLY not either.

 

see what happens when you let men be in charge of consequences on your body? LOL I'm sorry, but I'm sure you're happy now?

It was Illya Kuryakin for me (The Man From U.N.C.L.E.) So, who here remembers HIM and THAT???

 

There's a theory that girls do this 'worship from afar' because sub-consciously, they know they're not ready. So what's the Mika obsession doing in my life at my age!

OMG Illya...he was handsome

Now, there's interesting!

 

'Playing chicken' is also playing dare/taking risks, but I presume you mean it in the MFC variation of the word?

I do indeed I'm not very at dares or risks.