Trying to protect a friend - mika situation

[Shezzy12]

Hello.

 

We all know about mika..

 

and about his learinng difficulties and dyslexia.

 

Well..I dont ave any difficulties of dyslexia but my friend does.

 

Well..I dont know how to kinda start..but..

 

My friend..Well..her life is kinda like mika's when he was young.

 

I cant be with this friend all the time to protect her.

 

But she clearly as the life of mika..

 

I look at her..and y'no..everything just reminds me of mika..

 

[ from reading from interviews etc]

 

She is the sorta person to kind of say whats on her mind.

 

Shes really loud.

 

And everyone just takes the Pss outta her..

 

She cant read or write properly.

 

At one time.. we were doing a geog test and all she did was sit there for an hour.

She told me that she couldnt read the questions.

i really feel for her.

She's been bullied a couple of times.

But she hides it and smiles or laughs it off.

At one point, her helper wasnt in so i was helping her and then these boys behind were takin the Pss and were screaming her name and she turned around and they all started to laugh.

They then asked her

"Nic how dya spell elephant?!"

 

i lost it.

They clearly knew she was dyslexic and took the pss!

 

But y'no guys...It really hurts..to see people suffer....

I mean she's not sufferring from extreme bullying cases.

But it's long term

 

I want to be able to help her.

 

[ i no some of you will be like "tell the teacher" They dont do nething..plus it just gets messy"]

 

I want to be able to stop this.

 

 

Soryy guys..I just thought i'd share it with you.

 

--------------------------------------

 

I just want your views guys!

 

nothing else..

[Shezzy12]

No replies?

[ircazo]

how does your friend really feel about that? laughing it away is no good solution...

[LoveLoveMIKA]

That is a difficult situation.

 

I don't know! I mean, looking from Mika's case, he moved to another school that could teach dyslexics (and probably people with other learning disabilities).

 

I agree, teachers aren't much help. I was bullied, too, by classmates and teachers, and teachers pretend it's not happening or it's just a normal part of growing up (just like Mika said). It's not teasing, I mean anyone could sort of ignore that.

 

Does your friend recognize that s/he has a learning disability? Because I think this is really key. Otherwise, she might just think she's stupid. She doesn't seem like it to me. Have you told her Mika's story? Maybe it might help.

 

I think I would definitely mention it to a parent, close adult friend or someone you trust that would do something about it, someone who can be really diplomatic and break it to her parents. Because I think that's really important. If the parent's understand that it's something that *must* be dealt with, then I'm sure they'll do something about it. Maybe move to a new school where they can help her learn with her dyslexia and she could start anew. I'm truly sorry to be recommending your friend should go to another school, but it seemed to work for Mika, at least grade-wise. According to an interview, after they taught him a different way, he became a straight A student (be sure to mention this to your friend, as I imagine she must be quite discouraged!)

 

I'm sure she could do well in school just like Mika. (Be inspired by Mika!) :-)

 

So, the key things I think are:

1.) Make sure your friend knows that she's dyslexic. If not, mention that you think she might be. She might suspect something, too. Realize she might get defensive or just say that she's stupid (as I'm sure the bullies have insinutated or called her.) Reassure her that she's not (stupid), she's smart. It's not really a learning disability, anyway, it's just a different way of learning in my humble opinion. And there were some really talented dyslexic people like Leonardo da Vinci was supposed to be one. Suggest taking an exam to see whether or not she's dyslexic. There are some online ones. Read up together about it to show you support her/aren't ashamed/embarrassed about her. (I'm sure you're not, but to prove it...)

 

2.) Get her to talk to her parents about that she thinks she's dyslexic ==that the way the school is teaching is not working for her and/or to find another school. I advise not to mention the bullying because then they might think she just wants to get out because of the bullying, when in reality, it's sort of caused by her dyslexia. Dealing with the dsylexia should fix it for the most part, at least. Worse, they might think it's regular teasing and insist she live through it as a "normal part of growing up." It's not worth the risk.

 

3) Be focused on getting a new school/some other way to learn. Really try to stick with your friend, even if she can get on your nerves at times, to get it done. Really, I think she must move schools because those old bullies will be there. U_U A fresh start would be ideal.

 

Love on your friend and she will see that you have her best interests at heart.

 

I hope this helps! If you have any questions, please do not hesistate to ask me. Please PM them! And please ask them *BEFORE* you talk to your friend about this.

 

It'll all work out, just like it did for Mika. It gets better.

[CazGirl]

to the person above my post, exactly what I was going to say. Shezzy this is perfect advise and I suggest you take it. You know you should always listen to your "big sister" hahaha

[Shezzy12]

Thnkyoou lovelovemika!!

Yehh..she does know she has dylexia she was the one who told me.

Her parents are supporting her about her dyslexia

Shes had it for a long time.

The only problem is that..she feels useless and i try to tell her stories about people who have dyslexia and have become successfull she doesnt listen.

[CazGirl]

Thnkyoou lovelovemika!!

Yehh..she does know she has dylexia she was the one who told me.

Her parents are supporting her about her dyslexia

Shes had it for a long time.

The only problem is that..she feels useless and i try to tell her stories about people who have dyslexia and have become successfull she doesnt listen.

 

that's low self esteem for you.

Mika found out, after finding out about his dyslexia, that he was good at music.

Your friend needs to find something that she's good at, whatever it may be, so that she can develop her confidence.

[Shezzy12]

That is a difficult situation.

 

I don't know! I mean, looking from Mika's case, he moved to another school that could teach dyslexics (and probably people with other learning disabilities).

 

I agree, teachers aren't much help. I was bullied, too, by classmates and teachers, and teachers pretend it's not happening or it's just a normal part of growing up (just like Mika said). It's not teasing, I mean anyone could sort of ignore that.

 

Does your friend recognize that s/he has a learning disability? Because I think this is really key. Otherwise, she might just think she's stupid. She doesn't seem like it to me. Have you told her Mika's story? Maybe it might help.

 

I think I would definitely mention it to a parent, close adult friend or someone you trust that would do something about it, someone who can be really diplomatic and break it to her parents. Because I think that's really important. If the parent's understand that it's something that *must* be dealt with, then I'm sure they'll do something about it. Maybe move to a new school where they can help her learn with her dyslexia and she could start anew. I'm truly sorry to be recommending your friend should go to another school, but it seemed to work for Mika, at least grade-wise. According to an interview, after they taught him a different way, he became a straight A student (be sure to mention this to your friend, as I imagine she must be quite discouraged!)

 

I'm sure she could do well in school just like Mika. (Be inspired by Mika!) :-)

 

So, the key things I think are:

1.) Make sure your friend knows that she's dyslexic. If not, mention that you think she might be. She might suspect something, too. Realize she might get defensive or just say that she's stupid (as I'm sure the bullies have insinutated or called her.) Reassure her that she's not (stupid), she's smart. It's not really a learning disability, anyway, it's just a different way of learning in my humble opinion. And there were some really talented dyslexic people like Leonardo da Vinci was supposed to be one. Suggest taking an exam to see whether or not she's dyslexic. There are some online ones. Read up together about it to show you support her/aren't ashamed/embarrassed about her. (I'm sure you're not, but to prove it...)

 

2.) Get her to talk to her parents about that she thinks she's dyslexic ==that the way the school is teaching is not working for her and/or to find another school. I advise not to mention the bullying because then they might think she just wants to get out because of the bullying, when in reality, it's sort of caused by her dyslexia. Dealing with the dsylexia should fix it for the most part, at least. Worse, they might think it's regular teasing and insist she live through it as a "normal part of growing up." It's not worth the risk.

 

3) Be focused on getting a new school/some other way to learn. Really try to stick with your friend, even if she can get on your nerves at times, to get it done. Really, I think she must move schools because those old bullies will be there. U_U A fresh start would be ideal.

 

Love on your friend and she will see that you have her best interests at heart.

 

I hope this helps! If you have any questions, please do not hesistate to ask me. Please PM them! And please ask them *BEFORE* you talk to your friend about this.

 

It'll all work out, just like it did for Mika. It gets better.

 

Yehh..

Our school provides help for sylexics

and everyone knows she is dyelxic

 

The bullying is the problem

and the fact she feels useless

[Shezzy12]

that's low self esteem for you.

Mika found out, after finding out about his dyslexia, that he was good at music.

Your friend needs to find something that she's good at, whatever it may be, so that she can develop her confidence.

 

i mean caz!

We were talkin abt our gcse options

and she wanted to take geog

but the teachers and her sisters had a massive go at her sayin she cant take it! and she will ruin it ! and it will become a mess!

I went mental!

I was like y?

and she said that its coz of her dyelexia!

i said cant they encourage you and support u rather than making yoou feel bad!

i was shocked!

[CazGirl]

Yehh..

Our school provides help for sylexics

and everyone knows she is dyelxic

 

The bullying is the problem

and the fact she feels useless

 

read my post shezz x

[CazGirl]

i mean caz!

We were talkin abt our gcse options

and she wanted to take geog

but the teachers and her sisters had a massive go at her sayin she cant take it! and she will ruin it ! and it will become a mess!

I went mental!

I was like y?

and she said that its coz of her dyelexia!

i said cant they encourage you and support u rather than making yoou feel bad!

i was shocked!

 

that behaviour is DISGUSTING. I suggest you take it up with the headmaster/mistress.

[Shezzy12]

She's good at cooking and art

But shes not taking art

shes taking cooking and drama :]

[Shezzy12]

that behaviour is DISGUSTING. I suggest you take it up with the headmaster/mistress.

 

Headteacher is a knobbhead.

 

and it wasnt just the teachers

 

it was the coneexions people!

 

Who are MENT to help you!

 

They helped me but when it came to her! they just made her feel bad!

[Shezzy12]

I talked to her and i said

Listen you take geog..if u want to!

forget them!

I will support you!

and we will show them! that u r capable.

 

A few days later she told me that conexxions had even sent a letter home!

Telling her parents to stop her! or to talk to her and take her discussions wisely!

[LoveLoveMIKA]

I talked to her and i said

Listen you take geog..if u want to!

forget them!

I will support you!

and we will show them! that u r capable.

 

A few days later she told me that conexxions had even sent a letter home!

Telling her parents to stop her! or to talk to her and take her discussions wisely!

 

I think if she really wants to take geog, is determined and gets help to help overcome her dyslexia (since you said about the exam, I'm assuming she has trouble in it because of her dyslexia.) Of course, it is recommended that she take whatever she's best at.

 

It sounds like no one at school can/is willing to help her. I repeat: I suggest going to another school that would understand her dyslexia and help her. Your school, no offense, does not seem to be at all accomodating to her different learning need(s).

 

If she's good at art and cooking, much better than drama, then I think she should do her gcses (spelling error?) in them.

 

I understand that the school is trying to help her in the best way they can. They don't know better, so they don't want her to try to take something they are sure she will not pass in. They're just trying to avoid it. Plus, if they don't tell her parents, and she does take it and fail, then her parents could get mad at the school with good cause since they didn't say that. But, if her parents let her take it, even knowing the school recc'd against it, then they assume full responsibility, basically.

 

Maybe her parents and her can talk to someone who is an expert in dyslexia and see what s/he would recommend taking in terms of gsce, etc.

[Shezzy12]

I think if she really wants to take geog, is determined and gets help to help overcome her dyslexia (since you said about the exam, I'm assuming she has trouble in it because of her dyslexia.) Of course, it is recommended that she take whatever she's best at.

 

It sounds like no one at school can/is willing to help her. I repeat: I suggest going to another school that would understand her dyslexia and help her. Your school, no offense, does not seem to be at all accomodating to her different learning need(s).

 

If she's good at art and cooking, much better than drama, then I think she should do her gcses (spelling error?) in them.

 

I understand that the school is trying to help her in the best way they can. They don't know better, so they don't want her to try to take something they are sure she will not pass in. They're just trying to avoid it. Plus, if they don't tell her parents, and she does take it and fail, then her parents could get mad at the school with good cause since they didn't say that. But, if her parents let her take it, even knowing the school recc'd against it, then they assume full responsibility, basically.

 

Maybe her parents and her can talk to someone who is an expert in dyslexia and see what s/he would recommend taking in terms of gsce, etc.

 

yes your right

 

THankyooh xxxxxxx

 

*hugs to all* xxx