Chicken?

[Ruth]

Excellent idea that's what I thought too, and here I am, no kids, 34 and going to college I still don't plan on children, and am enjoying my freedom from the constraint.

 

I was 34 when I had my LAST! Once I fell off the perch, there was no stopping me. Career wise it's been a disaster.....

 

 

see what happens when you let men be in charge of consequences on your body? LOL I'm sorry, but I'm sure you're happy now?

 

Oh, yes, totally. Unless you count the empty nest stuff......

 

OMG Illya...he was handsome

 

My heartthrob And a long time ago. I'm shocked you know who he was

 

I do indeed I'm not very at dares or risks.

 

Very wise

[Suzy]

Hey Suzy, thanks for sharing your story. How did you find that having a child affected your goals? You said you were going to University at the time, have you still been able to utilize your education to achieve your long term goals? Or did you find that your life took a sharp turn in a different direction?

 

I still finished my degree and went on to complete another one after with a toddler. I even started a business and worked at the bank part-time.

I suppose what I meant about achieving goals is that I could not give all my projects 100% time and devotion. So everything I did was not to the best of my ability. When a person says they can achieve a "balanced" life - it doesn't mean that they are going to be successful in every facet.

Something always gives. Something always has to.

[Mika4Life13]

Excellent idea that's what I thought too, and here I am, no kids, 34 and going to college I still don't plan on children, and am enjoying my freedom from the constraint.

 

 

 

see what happens when you let men be in charge of consequences on your body? LOL I'm sorry, but I'm sure you're happy now?

 

 

 

OMG Illya...he was handsome

 

 

 

I do indeed I'm not very at dares or risks.

 

LOL , i kow some things might not work out for me but look at my uncle , couldnt afford college or U and he owns his own company. Millionaire

[Suzy]

You see, Suzy, you are cursed with the looking young gene. You'll just have to learn to live with it!

 

Ha. I know it's nothing I should complain about now. It has its good and bad.

Not being taken seriously by kids (when I taught), clients (when I provided investment advice) and colleagues (in my professional environment) until I open my mouth, is quite annoying.

Also, I was cursed with the "grey hair" gene that started in my teens. If I didn't dye my hair, I'd have 40% grey right now. It all balances out.

[Ruth]

LOL , i kow some things might not work out for me but look at my uncle , couldnt afford college or U and he owns his own company. Millionaire

 

Don't get me started on having to pay for college and Uni!

 

And whilst absolutely not backing down on my view that teenage pregnancy is not a wise thing, I'd certainly rather have the baby than the million.

[Ruth]

Ha. I know it's nothing I should complain about now. It has its good and bad.

Not being taken seriously by kids (when I taught), clients (when I provided investment advice) and colleagues (in my professional environment) until I open my mouth, is quite annoying.

Also, I was cursed with the "grey hair" gene that started in my teens. If I didn't dye my hair, I'd have 40% grey right now. It all balances out.

 

Indeed it does. Almost.

[Mika4Life13]

Don't get me started on having to pay for college and Uni!

 

And whilst absolutely not backing down on my view that teenage pregnancy is not a wise thing, I'd certainly rather have the baby than the million.

Well...yeah, but my point was he is a miracle. He worked so hard, and he earned where he is in his life. If he was a woman who had had a baby at a young age it might have had stopped him from having such a great work ethic if he had to care for a baby

[Vedrana]

Wow I've never heard of a place like that, unless you mean daycare, where you drop your child off in the morning and go to work or school then pick them up in the afternoons.

 

this institution you speak of, you leave them there for a long period of time?

 

No,it's not daycare,you can leave them for years,and there's also part where mothers can stay too and live with their child until its 1 year old.

Children can stay there until they are 18.

 

But,the other side of story is that there is many kids that are left like that,and parents never come back for them,and because they did not sign that their giving up of their child,child can not be given to adoptoin,so poor kid spends childhood in institution,and at same time God knows how many childless families wait and pray to get child to adopt.

[Vedrana]

yes,I guess it's some kind of social care:thumb_yello:

[Crystal]

I was 34 when I had my LAST! Once I fell off the perch, there was no stopping me. Career wise it's been a disaster.....

 

 

 

 

Oh, yes, totally. Unless you count the empty nest stuff......

 

 

 

My heartthrob And a long time ago. I'm shocked you know who he was

 

 

 

Very wise

 

Hey I paid attention to what Mom was watching

 

and thanks for the compliment

 

I still finished my degree and went on to complete another one after with a toddler. I even started a business and worked at the bank part-time.

I suppose what I meant about achieving goals is that I could not give all my projects 100% time and devotion. So everything I did was not to the best of my ability. When a person says they can achieve a "balanced" life - it doesn't mean that they are going to be successful in every facet.

Something always gives. Something always has to.

 

Good stuff I can understand how it must have been difficult. How old is your child now?

 

LOL , i kow some things might not work out for me but look at my uncle , couldnt afford college or U and he owns his own company. Millionaire

 

Lucky!! Way to go

[Crystal]

No,it's not daycare,you can leave them for years,and there's also part where mothers can stay too and live with their child until its 1 year old.

Children can stay there until they are 18.

 

But,the other side of story is that there is many kids that are left like that,and parents never come back for them,and because they did not sign that their giving up of their child,child can not be given to adoptoin,so poor kid spends childhood in institution,and at same time God knows how many childless families wait and pray to get child to adopt.

 

Wow, I don't think we have anything like that in Canada, at least not that I've heard of. I know that there are people who give up their children into foster care if they are unable to care for them, but it's not like they do it for work/school reasons, they do it because they are unable to care for them by the standards of the government, and they take them away from the parents. If they want to get them back, they have to prove that they can take care of them. They get put into another home with another family who will take care of them in the meantime. Your way sounds a little better, that the parents can come visit, but it sounds sad that some of them get abandoned like that

 

I am 14 and my mother isnt proactive

I guess it's because the posters in my room are of Daleks from the English TV programme Doctor Who, so if I am honest she has no need to be proactive! For anyone who doesn't know Daleks are aliens from a science fiction show!

 

 

 

I think the English for that is social care, right? You can put kids into social care and visit them if you wish, you get the details. However most mothers dont visit their children when they're in care, which is sad. I also think that if kids are in care they can also be fostered/adopted, making it obviously near impossible for the real parents to take the child if and when they are ready for a child. But then again I think that is right, because children are not items that can be swapped around, they need stability, if you know what I mean.

 

Daleks are the robotic monster men "EXTERRRRRRRMINATE!"

 

I think that your comment about care for kids is one of the things that has always been a deciding factor on my having children. I wouldn't want to have one unless I could totally provide for it in every way possible, I wouldn't want to neglect them, I would want to make sure they had a good stable home with communicative loving parents. If they are moved around alot, it's hard to build a foundation to build the rest of your life on

[Suzy]

 

 

 

Good stuff I can understand how it must have been difficult. How old is your child now?

 

 

 

He's a great, well-rounded, intelligent, about-to-become-a-teenager, average, kid. I often wish he stop teasing his younger sis, put more effort into his school work, and played less video games. But he was recently very close to winning a regional spelling bee, averages an "A" academically, and still likes to snuggle in my bed once in awhile to talk about life in general, so I really can't complain. Thanks for asking. So when it comes to "balance" I hope that the scales tilted more towards the "mom" role, than the "career" one. But I can't take all the credit either. Daddy and grandparents deserve a pat on the back too. I have been blessed with amazing support.

[sparkly1]

It was Illya Kuryakin for me (The Man From U.N.C.L.E.) So, who here remembers HIM and THAT???

 

There's a theory that girls do this 'worship from afar' because sub-consciously, they know they're not ready. So what's the Mika obsession doing in my life at my age!

 

Because at OUR age we know we still don't stand a chance and really wouldn't want it to as it would be sooo wrong lol, (but it's nice to look at the packaging, we don't really want to open it and spoil the surprise). Or is that just me

[sparkly1]

I also agree with kids having kids to try to obtain some kind of love from somewhere...anywhere...is just not the way to go, they really have NO idea at all what bringing up another human being is like, its hard from start to finish, from baby to adult being a mother is always with you. You don't get a manual with a child and each child's needs are different, each stage they go through is different for each child, the long and short of it is, it's NO picnic it's NOT what they expect, you can't switch a baby/toddler, teenager off and that is challenging.

 

Both my kids were well planned (even the fact I tried to get a girl 2nd time and did so) But even though I was married, 25 and they were well planned and wanted, it was still really hard as I had only my husband for support.

[Ana1202]

I just saw this thread and I want to share an experience with you. Sorry for my bad english, I hope you understand.

Last year I had a best friend. She is 18 and in november she found out she was pregnant. Another friend and I tried to convince her to have the baby. But she had an abortion. We had a terrible fight because of that and haven't talked until a few weeks ago. I decided to talk to her again. I talk to her and she tells me that she is pregnant AGAIN. I was so angry with her !! But, anyway, I tried to convince her again. Everybody was telling her to have the baby. Everybody offered help. But her mother doesn't know about this yet.

She told me yesterday that she has bought some pills to abort the baby and she will take them tomorrow. Now I don't care what she's going to do. But I'm worried because her body won't be able to handle with that again.

She is so immature !! I can't understand how she could make the same mistake again !!

[xBillyBrownx]

Maybe I'm oldfashioned or somethig like that,but I think 14-15 is too early for sex,and not to mention child! At the teen age you're still more a kid than an adult. But in case of "accident" I think best solution are those institutions (don't know their name in english) where mothers can leave their child and visiting them,and then when they finish school/get job they can take their child back.

 

I think I might be old fashioned too

[Ruth]

Well...yeah, but my point was he is a miracle. He worked so hard, and he earned where he is in his life. If he was a woman who had had a baby at a young age it might have had stopped him from having such a great work ethic if he had to care for a baby

 

Oh, right, sorry; I didn't get the point you were making.

 

 

That was Sarah Platt right? I liked that storyline - it was very well done I agree.

 

 

Hey I paid attention to what Mom was watching

 

 

Cheeky monkey

 

Because at OUR age we know we still don't stand a chance and really wouldn't want it to as it would be sooo wrong lol, (but it's nice to look at the packaging, we don't really want to open it and spoil the surprise). Or is that just me

 

 

What do you mean at OUR age? I think I have a decade on YOU!

[Ruth]

I just saw this thread and I want to share an experience with you. Sorry for my bad english, I hope you understand.

Last year I had a best friend. She is 18 and in november she found out she was pregnant. Another friend and I tried to convince her to have the baby. But she had an abortion. We had a terrible fight because of that and haven't talked until a few weeks ago. I decided to talk to her again. I talk to her and she tells me that she is pregnant AGAIN. I was so angry with her !! But, anyway, I tried to convince her again. Everybody was telling her to have the baby. Everybody offered help. But her mother doesn't know about this yet.

She told me yesterday that she has bought some pills to abort the baby and she will take them tomorrow. Now I don't care what she's going to do. But I'm worried because her body won't be able to handle with that again.

She is so immature !! I can't understand how she could make the same mistake again !!

 

 

Thanks for sharing the story and what wonderful English.

 

It's very sad about your friend and I have no experience with this sort of trouble, but the wisdom seem to be that you need to support your friend whatever she decides rather than trying to convince her of your view. But I'm not meaning to critise you; it's very difficult and I can see why you are so frustrated.

 

Hope it ends well, whatever happens.

[xBillyBrownx]

Thanks for sharing the story and what wonderful English.

 

It's very sad about your friend and I have no experience with this sort of trouble, but the wisdom seem to be that you need to support your friend whatever she decides rather than trying to convince her of your view. But I'm not meaning to critise you; it's very difficult and I can see why you are so frustrated.

 

Hope it ends well, whatever happens.

 

I know it must be hard. I think you should talk to her but don't leave her again because she needs you..

[Ana1202]

I know it must be hard. I think you should talk to her but don't leave her again because she needs you..

 

I'm not leaving her. She has my support and she knows it. She's still my friend. But I don't try to convince her anymore. Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

[Crystal]

He's a great, well-rounded, intelligent, about-to-become-a-teenager, average, kid. I often wish he stop teasing his younger sis, put more effort into his school work, and played less video games. But he was recently very close to winning a regional spelling bee, averages an "A" academically, and still likes to snuggle in my bed once in awhile to talk about life in general, so I really can't complain. Thanks for asking. So when it comes to "balance" I hope that the scales tilted more towards the "mom" role, than the "career" one. But I can't take all the credit either. Daddy and grandparents deserve a pat on the back too. I have been blessed with amazing support.

 

Sounds like you're a lucky Mama

I'm not leaving her. She has my support and she knows it. She's still my friend. But I don't try to convince her anymore. Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Good for you. Be supportive, but don't enable her negative behaviour either. Just do the best you can.

 

HAHAHA!!!

 

My mom gets all giggly when she tells people I'm never going to have kids, so she's never going to have to deal with how old she would feel if people started calling her "grandma." Then, again, my mom likes to stare at my head and giggle because I have more white hairs than she does. I just glare at her and remind her that I'm still young enough to get carded when I go out for drinks, unlike SOME people

 

There's a strong probability that I'm physically incapable of having kids, which is ok because I never had a strong desire to have any. I thought it was weird when all of the girls I knew in high school were trying to get pregnant so that they would have babies who would love them no matter what. I told them that they should get puppies because puppies are less fickle than people and easier to take care of than babies. They also make less unpleasant noises when they get loud

 

If I ever meet someone who changes my life and we decide a kid is just the thing that we need, we can adopt....a puppy!

 

LOL Awesome! I like the way you think! I'm pretty sure i'm capable of having kids, but I don't want to have any. I wish they could take the bits out and give it to someone who can't have kids, but they don't do uterine transplants.

[xBillyBrownx]

I'm not leaving her. She has my support and she knows it. She's still my friend. But I don't try to convince her anymore. Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

 

That's great! I certainly understand and i see where you're coming from.

[Crystal]

It would be nice if they could so that all of the people who actually want the little people can have them!

 

On a completely unrelated note, I keep getting hypnotized by the moving Mika picture in your sig

 

yes it's quite mezmerising

[Crystal]

Since I'm off topic anyway, I'm sure you've heard this before, I only wish my hair looked that amazing in the morning!

 

I actually like my morning hair because it's all curly and wild, but it still doesn't look that amazing

 

Well apparently MIKA's hair looks like his butt in the morning! LOL So depending on how you look at it, it's either wonderful or horrible!

[elanorelle]

crystal sweety! hi good morning!