DarkLight

thanks guys no unfortunately for me I still live with my parents I can't afford to leave home at the moment (I only get £47 a week) I'm on several council waiting lists for a flat or one bedroom house but despite being on several lists for 4 years for several different areas across england & despite my situation & disabilities I still haven't had one single offer yet!!! my family are all just as bad as my parents so I can't go & live with any of them (sadly the decent members of my family are dead) and my best friends live in australia & america so it's way too far for me to go otherwise I'd stay with them for a while. I'll survive i've put up with it for 22 & a half years & survived so far!!! I'm sure I can survive a bit longer (I have no choice do I??) I just spend most of my time in my room to keep out of their way (it's the best thing to do really) but it gets lonely & boring. good job I have my Mika cd, dvd & the internet huh!! I wish I had going to see Mika live again to look forward to again seeing Mika in person was soo cool & I could do with something like that to cheer me up sadly the only shows he's doing anytime soon are too far away ; (

I've just got my self a tamagotchi familitchi (it's way cool) it came with a mametchi charm which I have on a chain around my neck I have my other tama (the one I posted about) on my Mika lanyard (which is way cool) i'm getting a mametchi lanyard for my familitchi tama soon here's the type of familitchi I got http://images.productserve.com/preview/1736/23281717.jpg

lol:roftl: he was such a cutie as a kid wasn't he!!! gosh if he & I had been at the same school together I'd have definately had a crush on him:wink2: (kinda like I do now )

I can create web pages/sites it depends on what you wanted on it

is this one any good? it's the only one I have of a really young Mika I have no idea how old he is in the pic though??

I've been for counselling twice in the past once for a year & the 2nd time for 6 months it helped a bit but unfortunately when I thought I was getting better life kicked me in the teeth again as per usual. I won't go into too much detail but besides severe torture at school I've been violently sexually abused & assaulted for a year and a half, my mum didn't even care!! she just slapped me across the face & called me a selfish, spiteful attention seeking bas***rd when I tried to slash my wrists (I was 16 at the time) and I'd just lost my grandma as well, had my heart broken, lost my nana & been seriously ill, bedridden for 20 weeks & nearly died from the illness!!! I have lost several members of family (2 of whom I had to watch slowly deteriorate over a long period of time one had cancer my nana mentioned above, which really 'ate away' at her) I've been through domestic violence (my parents can be terribly violent) my mum tried to kill me & my dad 2 years ago!!! she has one hell of a violent temper & will flip out over the most tiniest miniscule nothingness that most people wouldn't even get mildly flustered or angry at!!! I've had nearly EVERY single person in my life abuse & torture me in some way shape or form &/or abandon me, I have been hit by a car (run over) I've been in a huge car crash in which I nearly died. I was drugged as a child (when I was 9 & I went into a sort of 'coma' sort of state they thought I was going to die, in fact I when i reached hospital I was actually nearly dead so I've no idea how I survived) I was dragged into foster care just weeks after my nana died of cancer & put with a horrible family who were incredibly abusive I had my heart broken the same week my mum's mum died, my other nana (a few years back) I fell in love again only to find out just before my last birthday (in october 2007) that he's gay, not that I have a problem with people being gay it's just I loved him & felt he was my soulmate & wanted to marry him so I'm totally gutted & heartbroken!!! I also suffer a lot of physical pain I have a spine condition known as scoliosis (which is a severe curvature of the spine) it also causes the discs in my spine to be damaged & for my ribs to be crushed which believe me causes a lot of pain!!! I also have arthritis in my hips knees, elbows, ankles & fingers, my hands seize up when they're cold, my knees can 'give way' randomly & I'll hit the floor (it once happened in the middle of the road, that wasn't why i got run over though) also my arms can just 'lock' into place & be difficult to 'unlock' I suffer recurring ear infections which can be so bad that I can't hear a thing & I get such sharp pain it feels like someone has driven a knife into my ear! all this at only 22 & a half not bad going eh!!!I feel I've been alive for 22 & a half decades the way my life has been!!! that's just SOME of the absolute hell I have been through (yes I have been through more hell than the above mentioned but I'd be here all day mentioning it) I don't wanna depress you all too much darklight btw comes from Darren Hayes' album the tension & the spark it's the album in which he 'talked' about all his pain & suffering and the struggle to find the light in the darkness that was his life hence I thought It was an appropriate user name for me & have used it for the past 4 years!! you know 'cause of the bullying & abuse & betrayals I've been through I don't easily let new people into my life it's extremelly rare I do & generally it's people who like me have suffered a lot & feel like an outsider. I feel that's kinda why I can relate to Mika a lot 'cause he's been through a lot of bullying hasn't he & I read that he himself doesn't let new people into his life much, I totally understand that!!! and he says he feels like an outsider I am too I'm like a round peg in a square hole I'm just never gonna 'fit in' & I don't want to either!!!

well for me if I could I'd go back in time & never be born. My whole life has been a hellish nightmare far too hard & painful for such a delicate fragile soul like myself. To say i've been badly tortured is an absolute humongous understatement to say the least. I would not want to go through any of the things I've been through again not one single little thing!! I'd change EVERYTHING!!! absolutely everything I'm still battling severe Depression anxiety & panic attacks every single day I have trouble sleeping 'til mental hours of the morning & wake up in the afternoon or evening, I've lost faith in myself in anything & everything I once believed in. Just when i thought I was recovering i'm back to square one again!! I'm just sick of the torment & torture (but despite being suicidal since the age of 5 I'm too frightened to kill myself one of my biggest fears is death) which may be a good thing in a way & 2 I'm a sadistic being i'm hoping one day life will turn around & stop sucking!!! (I can only hope) pah I should cocoa though 22 & a half years & nothing's changed yet despite my hardesst efforts as robbie williams sang in one of his songs i don't wanna die but i ain't keen on living either I'm just too stubborn to give up & too frightened of death to kill myself despite the fact I'm sick of suffering i'll just carry on 'til I die naturally

yup well I'm not particularly that bothered I just thought the last time I heared it was just michael holbrook penniman so I was curious as to who changed it & what the heck was going on?? weird stuff for me he's just Mika & that's it I was just a tad baffled that's all

here's what come up LoveTest Results for: Chantelle B & Michael Penniman LoveTest Questionnaire Analysis: Michael Penniman loves you, Chantelle B (i of course put my full surname but have edited it here) There are always ups and downs in every relationship. Although you think you know a lot about your partner already, you might want to spend some more quality time together. Love, trust, understanding, affection, honesty, tolerance and loyalty are very important factors for a successful relationship. Think about what's still missing in your relationship and how you could improve it. This result is based on the answers which you selected in the LoveTest questionnaire. Please check out the quizzes in the QuizCentral for more indepth quizzes and extended results. Numerology Analysis: Chantelle B is 76 percent compatible with Michael Penniman Michael Penniman is 52 percent compatible with Chantelle B These percentages are based on the names which you entered at the beginning of the LoveTest. To get the most accurate results, you should always provide the first, middle and last name. You can also take the LoveThermometer for a more indepth analysis of various aspects of your relationship. Click on this link to open a new window with the LoveThermometer Personality Analysis Your personality, Chantelle B You are noted for your grace, refinement and beauty as well as your repulsion to anything unattractive. You are meticulous in manner and dress and add a touch of elegance to all that surrounds you. Your goal is more to be admired by a man but if he is willing to boost your ego on a continuing basis you will show him how skilled you are at the art of lovemaking. You tend to prefer the artistic type of man, however your partner must also be highly lucrative in order to furnish you with the adornments that you require to keep you happy. When it comes to compatible signs for you harmony is the most important factor to keep in mind. Without harmony you can't possibly survive. Michael Penniman's personality: You are extremely attractive to women. You are easily noticed in a crowd and you usually get a lot of attention. You are a showman, flashy and flamboyant. You can be careless at times, however you are also a master at covering up mistakes or anything else. You love and admire beautiful women, but your mate must not outshine you in any manner. You prefer your female to be reserved so as not to steal your thunder. You are an extrovert, you love to laugh, you are generous, outgoing and you love the best of everything. You have a high opinion of yourself and you want your mate to feed your ego. When looking for a prospective mate you will interact diversely with all the other constellations including your own. Astrological Compatibility Analysis Libra (air sign) 24 September - 23 October The sign of the scales. Librans typically need balance and stability in their lives to be completely happy. The slightest upset, will upset them. Librans hate to be mis-judged, and they really care what other people think of them. Librans want to settle down, they want marriage, kids and a harmonious life. Definitely the jolliest sign. Leo (fire sign) 23 July - 23 August The sign of the lion. Leo's are forceful, demanding and sometimes bossy, but despite this they also have a generous nature, when need be. Leos like to be the centre of attention all times, and are prone (if need be) to draw attention to themselves. They have much respect for family life and children and admire others who do so too. Leos are very big on Authority, but deal with all situations with integrity and fairness. Libra & Leo This is a good union, similar lifestyles, both hooked on sex. The Lion's dazzle, and your refined nature balances out quite nicely. Together you make an extremely nice looking couple. Leo & Libra Libra's sophistication and your flair constitute an entertaining coalition, unless a financial deficit prevails. You can both be quite extravagant and wasteful.

ahh what I failed to mention (which I believe is vital) is this I went to this part 1st http://www.lovetest.com/ then you enter your name & your partner (or crush's name) so i entered my name & mika's then you click once & then answer questions about how you feel about that person & if you've hugged them, kissed them etc & then it gives you an analysis of your compatability & such then it gives you a personality analysis of each individual based on their names edited I see the 2nd link when I click it it doesn't work so i'll copy & paste what it says into a new post below http://www.lovetest.com/lovetest.php here's mine I just did it out of sheer boredom at 7 am in the morning lol (I don't know if it'll show up my results on there if you click on it (if it does you'll see the personality analysis) sorry i forgot to mention that whole bit (it was early in the morning & I'd been up a long time & with only 3 hours sleep so the brain had gone lol:roftl:

It was on a website i was on lovetest.com but there's also personality analysis on there too

I think this is kinda true in some ways what do you think? Michael Penniman's personality: You are extremely attractive to women. You are easily noticed in a crowd and you usually get a lot of attention. You are a showman, flashy and flamboyant. You can be careless at times, however you are also a master at covering up mistakes or anything else. You love and admire beautiful women, but your mate must not outshine you in any manner. You prefer your female to be reserved so as not to steal your thunder. You are an extrovert, you love to laugh, you are generous, outgoing and you love the best of everything. You have a high opinion of yourself and you want your mate to feed your ego. When looking for a prospective mate you will interact diversely with all the other constellations including your own. btw I found this on a website i was so decided to see what it's say about mika

this is mine at the moment (I made it myself a few days back) I was very upset so I thought what a great way of cheering myself up (to have a wallpaper with loads of pics of Mika smiling) It certainly did the trick http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm180/mikagasmicpics/MIKA-SMILE-WALLPAPER.jpg I also made this one too http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm180/mikagasmicpics/MIKA-hot-wallpaper-msbckgrnd.jpg

that's exactly what I thought I've like Mika for ages & have never heared any reference to the ismaili bit so am wondering if it's correct or not?? baffling huh

I was just on Imdb.com and was looking at what it said about Mika & it said his full name is Michael Holbrook Penniman Ismaili I thought it was just Michael Holbrook Penniman I've never heared anyone mention the ismaili bit so is that really his full name or is it just michael holbrook penniman?? I'm confused!!

wow some of you have quite interesting usernames & such I'm gonna change the bit that says master mind controller & my sig (don't know what to yet though) watch this space!! edited I decided to change the master mind controller bit to kitty glitter as I like hello kitty & I just thought I'd put glitter on the end? don't know why?? the location instead of inside your mind (the name of Derren Brown's 1st dvd) i decided on inside Mika's mind (I thought it was appropriate this being the mfc & all that) and as for my sig it's a part of the lyrics to lollipop with my little 'reply' at the bottom which as you can see is too late Mika I think it already did (which I put 'cause I just had my heart broken 7 months ago) so love has already gotten me down : (

ohh go on add me 2 the list then (why not)

lol I would've done exactly the same !!!

I've just got me a new tama (I've not had one for years) I just had to get one though & of course I called it Mika (well what else was I gonna call it huh??) I got this one here (but I got mine from tesco's for £9.97) http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tamagotchi-Connexion-Version-Ura-Characters/dp/B000V6DJ06/ref=pd_sim_k_h_b_cs_img_1 I'm gonna get used to this one then i'll buy myself the tamagotchi famalichi which will be interesting (raising 3 tama's at once sounds difficult) has anyone else got the famalichi one & how easy/difficult are they to get used to?

:mf_lustslow:ohh I'd love to be a lollipop girl too

here's another one I've just made

:wink2:grace kelly it's come on heat radio as i was flicking through woot woot

yup it sure is & the new dvd (of the last tour something wicked this way comes) is out soon too In fact I think it's out now (I'm sure it was 28th april It was due for release??)

I'm liking the one's you guys have made so far they're all cool : ) ha ha so you like the chicken one? it made me laugh when I saw that photo & my naughty mind ran away with itself (as per usual lmao)

no you go to this website http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php upload a photo then add text it's really easy!! btw if you make some feel free to post them here I'd love to see what others come up with!!