purplegrape Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Random math tutor (at college btw): 2 x 3 is not 26. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurplePeach Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 I was at mcDonalds the other day and i overheard this table infront of me, and it made my day! Lady: So Jess, what do you want for your birthday? 'Jess': I want another milkshake, i finished this one. Lady: But you dont like milkshake.. 'Jess': Dont i? I dont know why, it just made me giggle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowGirl Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 *in garden centre, a little boy walks up to his dad with a dog training set* boy : daddy, i want this. Dad : we can't have that son boy : whyyyyyyyyyy? Dad : well, we don't have a dog................. and i don't think you could train the cat... me : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lala_lollies44 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I heard this at McDonald's yesterday. There were two families waiting at the counter and both had a little boy. mom #1: *to little boy #1* Do you want mustard on your burger, honey? little boy #1: No way! dad #1: *looking at little boy #1* No way, José!!! *little boy #2 runs up to little boy #1 and tugs on his jacket* little boy#2: Hey! little boy #1: Huh? little boy #2: Your name's José?! That's my name too!!! little boy #1: You're weird. That's not my name! mom #2: José!!! Come back!!!! You can't just run up to strangers! I feel bad for little José. I guess he had never heard that phrase before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I read this, something that one of my friends posted on another person's wall. "I wish you were pants, so I could wear you, and defecate inside you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaX Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I read this, something that one of my friends posted on another person's wall. "I wish you were pants, so I could wear you, and defecate inside you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 This was on New Years Eve, we were talking about our favorite decades. Sarah: I had good time in the 80s. Her sister: Sarah, you were born in November 1989. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaX Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 This was on New Years Eve, we were talking about our favorite decades. Sarah: I had good time in the 80s. Her sister: Sarah, you were born in November 1989. :naughty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirtle Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 This was on New Years Eve, we were talking about our favorite decades. Sarah: I had good time in the 80s. Her sister: Sarah, you were born in November 1989. love this... My father... ( a very jealous one! God bless him...he thinks I'm made of gold ...:rolls_eyes:) was telling me how much he'd like to see me as a doctor: DAD: It'd be fantastic... being a doctor is such a cool thing... I think doctors are amazing! ME: yea Dad, but I'm kinda scared of blood...broken things...I really don't like it...but...I can always marry a Doctor! DAD: mmm...maybe I don't like Doctors that much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 musical kids are such nerds: Me: I'm sorry, I accidentally hit you with my jazz hand. JJ: Jazz hands of death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Brother: How do you make Canadian eggs? Me: (He asks the most idotic questions sometimes, I swear.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bopsterjazz Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 "I'd like to see a rhino in a tutu!" Me-"Wow, I came into that conversation late." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzbuzz Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 musical kids are such nerds: Me: I'm sorry, I accidentally hit you with my jazz hand. JJ: Jazz hands of death! That is really funny! This happend ages ago, but it's funny and it fits... somewhat. My mom and sis where talking about cool last names (Not exact, it was so long ago) Mom: I would love to be Mrs. Mega Millions! Sis: How about Miss. *Lottery Name* Me: What would you name your kid, Little Lotto? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 well, technically i didn't hear anything but: I know what you want the most, it is cheese on toast. @jemmmalee's interpretation of @ mikasounds GGG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunkiePenguin Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 I didn't over hear. This is a conversation I was having with my blond friend (I'm calling her A) A: *stroking and talking to my cat* You're very pretty aren't you? And you have a black and pink nose. *says to me* Can he understand what I'm saying? Me: *sighs* No, he's a cat! And, with the same friend, after coming back from Disneyland Paris: A: Is there a Disneyland London? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 I didn't over hear. This is a conversation I was having with my blond friend (I'm calling her A) A: *stroking and talking to my cat* You're very pretty aren't you? And you have a black and pink nose. *says to me* Can he understand what I'm saying? Me: *sighs* No, he's a cat! And, with the same friend, after coming back from Disneyland Paris: A: Is there a Disneyland London? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Random girl: Hey, do you know how to get to the college? Me: Yeah. *points* It's right across the street. Random girl: It's so hard to get to. Since when is crossing the street to your destination "difficult to get to"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bopsterjazz Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Random girl: Hey, do you know how to get to the college?Me: Yeah. *points* It's right across the street. Random girl: It's so hard to get to. Since when is crossing the street to your destination "difficult to get to"? That reminds me of a theatre joke: "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" "Lots of practice!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fmbm Posted February 21, 2010 Author Share Posted February 21, 2010 Teacher: "You've never seen a sunset? You've never watched the sun go down?!" Girl in my class: "No, I'm too short." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilStar Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 i love this thread!! i just discovered it!! ok, i didnt actually overheard that, but i thought it was funny Mum: I think the tv is broken Me: why? Mum: it wont turn on.. ive been trying with the remote control for 5 minutes now... nothing works Me:*tries the remote control* You're right!! its broken! Mum: oh, thats bad.. i didnt wanna change it.. *dad comes in*:whats wrong? Me: the tv is broken, we cant turn it on! Dad: did you change the batteries? of course, it worked just fine after that !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 my dad was trying to be brittish one day....it wasn't working. dad- I'm going to go call your mum on the telly me- dad, the telly is the t.v. not the phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilStar Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 my dad was trying to be brittish one day....it wasn't working. dad- I'm going to go call your mum on the telly me- dad, the telly is the t.v. not the phone. !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 my friend: "Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant, but instead of giving birth to a baby, I had a zuchinni!" my other friend's list of the top three best excuses ever: 1. I had to shave my cat. 2. I had to deal with the leperchaun(sp?) in my kitchen. 3. My sister grew a second head and I had to feed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Brother: I hate celery, it makes me want to vomit. Mom: Your face makes me want to vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplegrape Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Sister (talking about science lab): I have a virus. It might be deadly. Mom: You ARE a virus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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