RainbowGirl Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Friend one: *says something friend two doesn't hear*Friend two: What? Can you say that again? Friend one: Pay me. I'm not a performing clown. OMG! i'm so using that sometime!!!! :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 OMG! i'm so using that sometime!!!! :roftl: Yes. It was funny, but slightly clever at the same time. When you do, tell me how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Me: I still have to get my health card renewed. Him: When did it expire? Me: My birthday. But I don't get sick that often, so that's why I'm not worried. Him: Did you get that HPV shot? Me: No. Him: Are you worried you're going to get cancer in your vagina? Me: You mean cervical cancer? Him: Same difference. Me: Him: I'm a guy. Me: They're different parts of the body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
77red Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 (edited) Oh dear. I still have lots of these. My english teacher: "Then you can attack them. Like a ninja." A girl in my English Class: "Was Mr. S sleeping with us?" My math teacher: "I hate to break it to you, but pi is a number. Except on Thanksgiving. Then it's round and delicious." The same teacher, about other teachers: "They were surprised that math had words." A student in my math class: "How do you do this problem?" The same teacher: "Correctly." The same student: "What is example three?" The same teacher: "The one between 2 and 4." My friend, about another friend: "You by yourself are like a terrorist organization!" Random people behind us at the gig: "We should bump pictures of the ass crack." "Why would you want to do that?" "Why would you not???" My sister: "Two people embark on an epic adventure! And what do they find?! Pancakes!!!" Edited November 27, 2009 by 77red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Random guy in libary, to me: The managers in the film channel haven't uploaded my film yet! Me: Then leave a comment for them. Him: Fine, I shall leave a disgruntled comment. Yes, it's kind of not funny. But amazingly intellectual coming from a student at my school. Seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Mom: Your cousin is going to be a dad. Me: REALLY? Brother: Does that mean I'm the uncle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Brother: I got my class picture today! Mom: Okay, let's see who looks the stupidest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Brother: I got my class picture today!Mom: Okay, let's see who looks the stupidest. Your mum's so funny. Me: Mr Recsky, can I got to the bathroom? Sub: Yup, go ahead. Me: I mean, MAY I got to the bathroom? I know I CAN go. Sub: Good for you! That's a good skill to have. Oh man. Funny guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lala_lollies44 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I think I need to explain this one before tell it. My sister just finishd nursing school, and she wanted to get an application at the state hospital, but she didn't know which entrance to use. sister: How do you get into the state hospital? brother:You do something crazy. sister: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Friend one: Fuzzy. Friend two: What's fuzzy? Friend one: Look down your pants and see. Guys. :rolls_eyes: --------------------------------------------------- My mom was giving my baby brother a bath this afternoon. A bath with bubbles. I was sitting in my room studying when I heard this. Mom: Oh look! You have bubbly nipples! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mika4Life13 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Math teacher: "1/4 + 0 = 1/4. Pi + 0 = 1/4." Student: "Uhm, what." Math teacher: " OHH HAHA Pi + 0 = Pi, silly me. Thank god it's friday!" Student: "That would be tuesday." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Girl one in line, as she reads from a magazine: I love these embarrassing stories. Girl two: My favourite one is of this girl who was playing hide and seek with her friends. She hid in the bathroom and waited and waited, but no one found her. She really needed to pee, so she got up and went, and discovered she had her period. As she walked over to grab some tampons, all her friends walked in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 *radio is playing in the car* Mom: Who is this? Me: Nelly Furtado. Mom: Oh. Me: She did an album in Spanish. Mom: You mean Portuguese? Me: No, Spanish. Mom: But she's Portuguese, right? Dad: Her parents are from the Azores, but she can hardly speak Portuguese. Me: Shawn Desman's background is Portuguese as well. Dad: Yeah, at least he can speak more Portuguese than her. My dad is Portuguese (legit Portuguese, born and raised in Portugal). The bluntness in his voice was hilarious, he seemed so pissed off with Nelly Furtado. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Dude: Why so poopy? Stupid, but it made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 I think of Lady Gaga as a living doll inspired by Japanese visual kei. it's funny imo coz she's not so to praise this way...her latest look is just Madonna2theRevenge w/sparkles why so vodka-on-fire?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Him: I'm really flexible. Me: That's nice. Him: Yeah. Me: My brother can put his leg behind his head. Him: So can I. Me: I tried but I hurt my back. Him: I can be your teacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Me: Come here! Brother: What? Me: Your friend called, call him back. *throws phone to brother* Brother: *picks up phone* Hello? HELLO?? Idiot. :rolls_eyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My friend...let's call him Rob. Rob: I like Louise. She's really honest and will speak what's on her mind. She'd be like, "Rob, you're ugly!" I think he wanted me to say he's not ugly. I didn't fall for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanette! Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Oh... I love this thread, keep it coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
England Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Me: Come here!Brother: What? Me: Your friend called, call him back. *throws phone to brother* Brother: *picks up phone* Hello? HELLO?? Idiot. :rolls_eyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) My friend (we'll call him Tom) listening to that Tic Tok song: "unless they look like Mick Jagger" Tom: Ok, when was Mick Jagger ever hot? seriously? Edited December 18, 2009 by forevermika Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Two people were talking with each other before the exam started. Girl: What do you study. Guy: Neuroscience. Girl: Neuroscience? I only heard nerd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Mom: You're going to put your foot in the poo! ... Stop kicking me, or I'll shove it in your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shikutukumimika Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My friend (we'll call him Tom) listening to that Tic Tok song: "unless they look like Mick Jagger" Derek: Ok, when was Mick Jagger ever hot? seriously? Well.. Here he was quite hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Father: you like physics, you could go to college to teach that in high school. Daughter: I don't want to teach those idiots! Father: you are one of those idiots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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