nico_collard

Basically, for about a year and a half this guy was so in love with me, and he was so sweet. He even sent me flowers to my home on Valentine's Day, but I was still healing from a previous heartbreak (I was over the guy, just wouldn't allow myself to love another) so I did nothing about it. I didn't allow myself to feel feelings.

Then he started to move on and I knew I was losing someone who could be good to me. So, I took the plunge and told him how I felt. He was dating a girl at the time but he never fancied her...so he ended that (I NEVER forced him) and we ended up seeing eachother for about 2 months...

The first month was terrific. He was my first kiss, he was my first with everything we did. I was so happy...

But then dents started to appear and I didn't know why...

To put an uber long story short, he said he didn't fancy me anymore (Though I had to really get it out of him). So we ended it...and I was distraught. I had never been so happy in my life, he was always such a gentleman...this man who had proclaimed love for me pretty much right from the start....no longer had those feelings for me.

Whenever we talked, our conversations were so short lived. It was like he wasn't interested in me as a person anymore, let alone as a partner...no matter how much I was hurting I still wanted to be friends, but I never got that vibe from him. He always apologised for all the pain he'd caused me but at the same time there was no real show of it...

Then I find out that he wanted to get back with HER, the girl he never fancied. I mean, how bizarre?!?!? For about 2 weeks I felt so sick all the time. I could barely eat, even though I knew I had to. I just felt like I was gagging all the time, and I was so angry...

So angry in fact, I wrote a blog on MySpace about how I was feeling, how I was being treated, exactly what I thought of him at the time...

But it ruined everything. My reckless behaviour ruined everything I ever had with him...

before all this relationship malarkey we had a beautiful friendship...now it's all gone. I tried so hard to understand his feelings but I felt like he wasn't trying to understand mine. Now all of a sudden I feel like I'm the one to blame even though I'm not...

He still thinks I'm an Angel, he still thinks I'm Aphrodite but he's not ready to talk to me yet after all the things I said...I left it a week for the air to clear, but yesterday I sent him a text saying "hey, how are you? x" to keep it low key but got no response.

Early this morning (1am?) I look on his MySpace and he's changed his status to "In A Relationship..."

I thought I was passed the crying stage, but it's come back.

I can't believe everything that's happened and I'm just left in shock...nothing seems to make sense.