OhMyMika!! Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Brother: I hate celery, it makes me want to vomit.Mom: Your face makes me want to vomit. AHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 Me: OH NO! WE DON'T HAVE ANY TAPE! Him: DO WE HAVE ANOTHER OTHER ADHESIVES? Oh my gosh. I couldn't stop laughing. WHO SAYS THAT? Also: *juice spilled on floor* Him: Wet one! Wet wipe! *starts to mop floor* Me: What are you doing? You're making it wet! Him: IT'LL GET STICKY! It doesn't sound funny, but it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citiesonfire Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 *Me walking into the kitchen* My Grandad: Where are all the titties? *walks back out the kitchen* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowGirl Posted February 27, 2010 Share Posted February 27, 2010 *watching Cheryl Cole on tv* Mum : Is she from a girl band? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Mom: This intersection is stupid. Daughter: Is it stupider than Paris Hilton? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 A followup: Sanjay: I have a cup, therefore I'm drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyLivs Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Student:I'll eat something neon!. . . haha. . . or glow in the dark! Teacher: ~completely serious~ If you learn anything from me in this class, it's to never eat anything that glows in the dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Student:I'll eat something neon!. . . haha. . . or glow in the dark!Teacher: ~completely serious~ If you learn anything from me in this class, it's to never eat anything that glows in the dark. I can totally imagine that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunkiePenguin Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Brother: I hate celery, it makes me want to vomit.Mom: Your face makes me want to vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mika4Life13 Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Friend: I'm making you a bracelet. Me: it's a bit retarded looking. Friend: You'll wear it OR I WILL C*NT YOUR FAMARY. Me: You will WHAT my famary? Friend: I meant to say cut. :lmfao: [side note: famary is family in a .... different accent ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inbar_assaf Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Brother: I hate celery, it makes me want to vomit.Mom: Your face makes me want to vomit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitter.icarus Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Sub: Did you guys know that humans are made of the same particles found in diamonds? Girl: Wow! Does that mean we can sell ourselves for money?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplegrape Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Sub: Did you guys know that humans are made of the same particles found in diamonds?Girl: Wow! Does that mean we can sell ourselves for money?! Sure you can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 mock trial in my government class today was hilarious! Bailiff- (the "bible" was really a dictionary) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Merriam-Webster? _________ Lawyer- I demand a redirect! Juror- I demand to know what that means! _________ Lawyer- Your daughter was a witness to this alleged crime, not you, so how do you know that the defendant was walking and not running back to his van? John- (not realizing what he was saying) I know, but thats what she said! the whole class was on the floor laughing after that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowGirl Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 mock trial in my government class today was hilarious! Bailiff- (the "bible" was really a dictionary) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Merriam-Webster? _________ Lawyer- I demand a redirect! Juror- I demand to know what that means! _________ Lawyer- Your daughter was a witness to this alleged crime, not you, so how do you know that the defendant was walking and not running back to his van? John- (not realizing what he was saying) I know, but thats what she said! the whole class was on the floor laughing after that one. that sounds amazing!!! especally love the second one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randumb Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 In drama class, Teacher: Girls, you do relise that you don't need to do drugs or have sex to be cool. I mean, I'm staight edge and I'm still cool, right? Girl in my class: So Miss, are you saying you've never had sex before? Teacher: Or course I've had sex! I'm married! Class: :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randumb Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 In English class, Teacher: Okay, girls. Head up 'change' Girl: Change as in, change for money or change as in, change the channel? Teacher: It's spelt the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyLivs Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 In drama class, Teacher: Girls, you do relise that you don't need to do drugs or have sex to be cool. I mean, I'm staight edge and I'm still cool, right? Girl in my class: So Miss, are you saying you've never had sex before? Teacher: Or course I've had sex! I'm married! Class: :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyLivs Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Actors Workshop class! Talking about a local production of Misanthrope by Molerie Teacher: It's about 5 dollars for students, right? Student: Uh... I didn't have to pay. Teacher: Oh wait! I have the poster on my iPhone. Here it is! See? Oh wait. It's 7 dollars for students. Haha, the poster has a naked lady on it. But it's just her back! See? Student: Uh. . . Student: Is this wrong? Teacher: It's just her back! Student Two: Great, Mr. T, showing a student porn on your iPhone. Teacher: No come look! It's just her back. Another Student: I want to look. Teacher: Of course you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilStar Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Actors Workshop class!Talking about a local production of Misanthrope by Molerie Teacher: It's about 5 dollars for students, right? Student: Uh... I didn't have to pay. Teacher: Oh wait! I have the poster on my iPhone. Here it is! See? Oh wait. It's 7 dollars for students. Haha, the poster has a naked lady on it. But it's just her back! See? Student: Uh. . . Student: Is this wrong? Teacher: It's just her back! Student Two: Great, Mr. T, showing a student porn on your iPhone. Teacher: No come look! It's just her back. Another Student: I want to look. Teacher: Of course you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnyangel Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 mock trial in my government class today was hilarious! Bailiff- (the "bible" was really a dictionary) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Merriam-Webster? _________ Lawyer- I demand a redirect! Juror- I demand to know what that means! _________ Lawyer- Your daughter was a witness to this alleged crime, not you, so how do you know that the defendant was walking and not running back to his van? John- (not realizing what he was saying) I know, but thats what she said! the whole class was on the floor laughing after that one. ommz! these are just too good! infact all of them are too good! i wish i was there in all your classes!! boy in shop: yeah we did... we went *sploooooooossssssssshhhh* and in the toliet, and we went round and round and round and round, we got a bit wet, but when your in the toilet... that's why there's water in there. then we ended up in this shop me: xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fmbm Posted March 9, 2010 Author Share Posted March 9, 2010 Students: *hear an operatic scream from next door*....what was that? Random kid: That was art! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Me (speaking to my brother): "Are you naked?" Mom: "I am not. But I can be." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bopsterjazz Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 My friend: You owe me a baby! Me: Alright, *turns to other friend* Lou, you ready? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzaboy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 (My Nan has an obsession with a supermarket called Aldi She buys EVERYTHING form there. We tease her about it.) On the phone: Nan- We've been looking for a suit for Jake's (cousin) graduation. E.J- I'm sure you'd find some nice ones at Aldi's... Nan- Well, they did have some nice suits in last month, but last time I looked, they were all gone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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