When were you happiest?
Probably when I was still at playschool.
What is your greatest fear?
Failure.
What is your earliest memory?
Being 2, nearly 3, and impatiently waiting for my mum to come home after she'd given birth to my little brother.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Idiocy.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
A tie between being inconsiderate and unjustifiable hatred.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Perhaps the time in Year 5 when I forgot my lines during a school assembly and the whole place went silent, all because I was arrogant enough to think I could one-up the others and play my part without a prompt sheet. Idiot.
Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
My laptop.
What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Too childlike, too feminine.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Michael Draw.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Cake, biscuits and other forms of sugar-packed fattening goodness.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Keeping a tissue up my sleeve until either a) I've blown my nose into all four corners, or b) it becomes soggy.
Where would you like to live?
West Kensington, but in a flat that actually belongs to me rather than being rented out.
What does love feel like?
I don't know. (Thank God.)
What was the best kiss of your life?
Never been kissed
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Michael Draw, Mika, Rufus Wainwright, Emilie Autumn, Brian Eno, and Björk. (If dead people count, I'd also invite Klaus Nomi and Jobriath.)
What is the worst job you've done?
During work experience in Year 13, I worked at a childrens' daycare centre for a week. NEVER AGAIN
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
Ahahaha, let's not go there...
How do you relax?
Relax? What does that mean?
What is the closest you've come to death?
Well, apparently I stopped breathing and my lips went blue after I'd gotten ill and passed out on a bench during a holiday to Guernsey...
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A brain that actually functions properly.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Somehow just falling into a job that's perfect for me.
What keeps you awake at night?
Anxiety problems, my overactive mind, and insomnia. What fun!
What song would you like played at your funeral?
'Dead Finks Don't Talk' by Brian Eno (purely because I think it'd be hilarious to have all these serious-looking pall bearers carry my coffin out to the sound of Brian Eno squawking, "OH NO! OH NO!") and 'Party Hard' by Andrew W.K..
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Looking at life through rose-tinted glasses only brings you plastic happiness.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Where I am right now is just fine.
Tell us a secret.
Hm... I can't think of anything to put here that's not overtly sexual