lollipop_monkey Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I think it's pretty fair to say that Mika4Life's parents most likely don't know what their daughter is talking about on here, either. And of course you wouldn't flip out, because it's your niece. I got away with alot more when my aunts/uncles/cousins were taking care of me than I ever did when my parents were home. Just like it's impossible to paint all 14 year-olds with the same brush, you can't paint all parents with the same brush. Based on what you said above, I would assume that at 14 your parents may have taken issue with you participating in the kind of talk that sometimes takes place on here. On the other hand, I was even younger than that when I came across my parents' copy of a book called Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). which goes into erm, great detail. All they said was to make sure I didn't rip the cover. It sat on my bookshelf for years. My point is that we're not here to parent people. Of course, we encourage our membership to stay safe, but I think that ultimately, the responsibility for internet safety falls on the shoulders of the individual (and his/her parents, in certain cases). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I think it's pretty fair to say that Mika4Life's parents most likely don't know what their daughter is talking about on here, either. And of course you wouldn't flip out, because it's your niece. I got away with alot more when my aunts/uncles/cousins were taking care of me than I ever did when my parents were home. That is not necessarily true.... we don't know if her parents know or not. I wouldn't flip, and that is for sure..... and I am speaking of my kids..... they know EVERYTHING, thanks to school... *I forgot that you were homeschooled* Well, apparently school has gotten to be My sons tells me things they say and do at school and I CANNOT beleive my ears.... things I never knew until *at least* High School! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Homeschooling really doesn't have anything to do with it, due to the fact that I've only been homeschooled for such a small period of time. I had to leave my old school because a girl was raped in the bathroom, and my parents decided it was best to pull me out. The thing that bothers me is that I have a hard time believing you 40something women would walk up to a 12 year old (whom you don't know) in real life and start gawking on and on about some stranger's penis. And saying that it's okay because the 12 year old didn't object is a completely stupid argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 I think it's pretty fair to say that Mika4Life's parents most likely don't know what their daughter is talking about on here, either. So I'm supposed to step in and parent her in areas that her parents don't feel is necessary? If they're raising her to make these judgement calls for herself instead of monitoring everything she does then that's their decision. And of course you wouldn't flip out, because it's your niece. I got away with alot more when my aunts/uncles/cousins were taking care of me than I ever did when my parents were home. That's irrelevant. I would feel the same way if she was my child. When I was 13 I was about 4 years past giggling at pictures of fully clothed men and women and speculating on what was underneath with my friends. If that's all my parents had to worry that I was up to at that age they would have considered themselves lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Homeschooling really doesn't have anything to do with it, due to the fact that I've only been homeschooled for such a small period of time. I had to leave my old school because a girl was raped in the bathroom, and my parents decided it was best to pull me out. The thing that bothers me is that I have a hard time believing you 40something women would walk up to a 12 year old (whom you don't know) in real life and start gawking on and on about some stranger's penis. And saying that it's okay because the 12 year old didn't object is a completely stupid argument. Personally I do not know anyone despite age that would do that.... THAT is just creepy. How can you even compare such a thing... as to try and make us feel like pedofiles or something, or even imply that any wrong doing has occured? That is just rubbish.... and btw I am NOT 40 something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 That's irrelevant. I would feel the same way if she was my child. Just for the simple fact that I got the "You haven't experienced life yet" lecture based on my statements in the politics thread, I feel I have to do this: But you're not a parent, so you wouldn't understand until you have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Personally I do not know anyone despite age that would do that.... THAT is just creepy. How can you even compare such a thing... as to try and make us feel like pedofiles or something, or even imply that any wrong doing has occured? That is just rubbish.... and btw I am NOT 40 something I didn't call you a pedophile or insinuate that you were. But based on your reaction, I can clearly see that you understand the problem with the situation should it occur in real life. There really isn't any difference, just because it's online. Alright, you're 30something. And I'm not saying it's your job to babysit other peoples' children online. I'm saying it's not appropriate to encourage behavior you don't know if they'd approve of or not. And Christine: wondering about what's underneath someone's clothes isn't the problem. Every kid does it. But most children don't do it with women in their 30's, 40's, etc. If you found out that your niece was talking about sexual things with a middle-aged next door neighbor, you can't say you wouldn't feel uneasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I HAVE CHILDREN, so I know how things really are..... and being a mother...... everyone has different opinions and lifestyles, I accept that and respect that... therefore who would I be to say someone/something is just WRONG for everyone.... it is not up to me to dictate... so even though we do not see eye to eye.... why are we being made to feel like we are so WRONG.... I just don't see it..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Just for the simple fact that I got the "You haven't experienced life yet" lecture based on my statements in the politics thread, I feel I have to do this: But you're not a parent, so you wouldn't understand until you have children. Do you really think I would abandon my values and completely modify my views towards sex if I gave birth? I don't. My parents wouldn't have flipped out on me and my brother wouldn't flip out on my niece. I am quite certain I would not flip out on my own daughter. I think it's totally harmless and so do most of the people I know. As lollipop monkey pointed out, this is a country that permits 14 year olds to give consent to sex. 13 year olds looking at Mika's saggy bunched up jeans is just something people lie awake at night worrying about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I didn't call you a pedophile or insinuate that you were. But based on your reaction, I can clearly see that you understand the problem with the situation should it occur in real life. There really isn't any difference, just because it's online. Alright, you're 30something. And I'm not saying it's your job to babysit other peoples' children online. I'm saying it's not appropriate to encourage behavior you don't know if they'd approve of or not. I knew I spelled that word wrong... LOL ...and thanks for clearing that up, cause I am gonna be 31 in three weeks and having a hard time with it I think if ones parents had concerns with their time online they would monitor it..... I mean if they were that conerned???? I dunno.... I just think once again.... a nothing has turned to Major Drama something.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollipop_monkey Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 wondering about what's underneath someone's clothes isn't the problem. Every kid does it. But most children don't do it with women in their 30's, 40's, etc. If you found out that your niece was talking about sexual things with a middle-aged next door neighbor, you can't say you wouldn't feel uneasy. That's not what this is about. Most 12-16 year olds don't discuss the leader of the democratic party or Freddie Mercury's lyrical prowess with others in their 30s or 40s, either. Real life isn't conducive to people with large age gaps meeting and forming friendships. The Internet is a social medium that by its very nature puts people on a more even level, allowing conversations to transcend age, geography and more. I agree that the conversation went down in the wrong thread, and I can understand the "it's objectifying Mika" angle - but to throw the age range into it is to completely disregard the nature of online communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Do you really think I would abandon my values and completely modify my views towards sex if I gave birth? I don't. My parents wouldn't have flipped out on me and my brother wouldn't flip out on my niece. I am quite certain I would not flip out on my own daughter. I think it's totally harmless and so do most of the people I know. As lollipop monkey pointed out, this is a country that permits 14 year olds to give consent to sex. 13 year olds looking at Mika's saggy bunched up jeans is just something people lie awake at night worrying about. Motherhood does not change your values or views they are there WAAAYY before the child is ever thought of.... ...and my parents would have NEVER flipped on me - maybe that is why I am the way I am..... and the liberal parent that I am. I THANK them for that! ...Mika's saggy bunched up jeans are the last thing I am thinking of at night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 And Christine: wondering about what's underneath someone's clothes isn't the problem. Every kid does it. But most children don't do it with women in their 30's, 40's, etc. If you found out that your niece was talking about sexual things with a middle-aged next door neighbor, you can't say you wouldn't feel uneasy. It depends on how well I knew the person. There is nothing inherently wrong with discussing sex with someone older. The uneasiness would stem from concern about their motives and the fact that they had physical access to my child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 AGE IS JUST A NUMBER There are people YEARS younger than me that have lived more than I have... what do you make of that? Age has very little to do with anything .... except at 16 - you get your driver license at 18 - you are considered an adult at 21 - you can legally consume alcohol....which most people are doing anyways by age 16..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 It depends on how well I knew the person. The children on these forums... their parents don't know you. AGE IS JUST A NUMBER You can say that all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that age DOES matter. Look at Kentucky state law. A girl under 18 can have sex, and it's not stat. rape as long as the boy is no more than 2 years older than her. Age does matter... you can't exactly pretend it doesn't. If your 14 year old son had sex with a 14 year old girl, I'm sure you'd look at it alot differently than if he had sex with a 40 year old woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fmbm Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Why is it wrong tothink that we can all be NICE to each other? No cynicism. No sarcasm. Just honest. Honest and NICE. What is the point in living without cynicism and sarcasm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Just for the simple fact that I got the "You haven't experienced life yet" lecture based on my statements in the politics thread, I feel I have to do this: Sorry I forgot to address this. I don't remember giving any you haven't-experienced-life lectures in the politics thread. I know I spoke of my own life experience, but I was making the point that I can't really defend my position on abortion (for instance) within the scope of a post on MFC. My position is not based on this fact or that statistic. It's based on the premise that human life does not begin at conception and the reason I believe that is due to my own experiences. Other people with other experiences will have different points of view and my point of view is no more or less valid than anyone else's. That's why I don't really want to participate in lengthy debates about it. It's just bound to go nowhere. I was not trying to imply that once you've lived another 20 years you will come around to my way of thinking. Our life experiences will always be different and in all likelihood our positions on the subject will be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollipop_monkey Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 If your 14 year old son had sex with a 14 year old girl, I'm sure you'd look at it alot differently than if he had sex with a 40 year old woman. Huh? From a moderation perspective, the issues are: 1) that a topic that could be construed as inaproppriate was discussed in detail, and 2) that the topic took over a thread where another member was voicing her serious feelings about something completely different. This isn't about protecting anyone's youthful innocence, or about anyone sleeping with someone's 14 year-old. Yes, age matters in some contexts in life (like why I can't rent a freakin' Ford Taurus without paying an "age premium" ) but in terms of the appropriateness of this topic for the MFC, I don't think the age of members is the issue at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 If your 14 year old son had sex with a 14 year old girl, I'm sure you'd look at it alot differently than if he had sex with a 40 year old woman. Jeez Sarie you make it sound as if I am trying to scope out a 14 year old MERELY because I was having a convo in a thread..... LORD - I do not see your comparisons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Huh? I was giving an example where age matters. I think it's completely stupid to say age doesn't matter in life. Maybe not in this particular situation, but it's ridiculous to say that it doesn't matter whatsoever, or that it's nothing but a number. Saying 'age is nothing but a number' is something you rarely hear someone under 30 saying. For God's sakes, people... grow up some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Why are we even talking about this at all> the points were discussed we got it.... we talked about something in the wrong thread so we started one, so we could carry on... not bothering anyone else.... we moved past all that happened.... then here people come drudging up things that were so moved past..... and now making it something FAR different. Maybe you should start an AGE thread.... since you feel it's importance and need for discussion.... ? Just a thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 The children on these forums... their parents don't know you. Then I guess their parents had better monitor their activity if they're concerned about what they discuss with 40 year olds. It doesn't make much sense for me to be frightened about someone else's child talking to me on their behalf. I know I'm not going to harm them. I agree with lollipop monkey about the nature of internet relationships being remarkably different, but I actually don't particularly want to discuss these things with 13 year olds. I just think they're not going to be horribly corrupted if they bear witness to my conversations with others. (Not that there was anything to even witness here, I just posted a couple of pics and the next thing we were talking about Tinky Winky.) What is the point in living without cynicism and sarcasm? Are you being sarcastic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyD Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I was giving an example where age matters. I think it's completely stupid to say age doesn't matter in life. Maybe not in this particular situation, but it's ridiculous to say that it doesn't matter whatsoever, or that it's nothing but a number. Saying 'age is nothing but a number' is something you rarely hear someone under 30 saying. For God's sakes, people... grow up some. You are as old as you feel. And that is SO not true.... I hear people of ALL ages stating that point ALL of the time..... for whatever their reasoning.... like 18 year old bitching about not being allowed to buy alcohol or WHATEVER, it is not an 'older thing' that's FUNNY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 but I actually don't particularly want to discuss these things with 13 year olds. I just think they're not going to be horribly corrupted if they bear witness to my conversations with others. Perhaps conversations like this would have been more appropriate in PMs, over MySpace, Facebook, IM, or what have you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 You are as old as you feel. And that is SO not true.... I hear people of ALL ages stating that point ALL of the time..... for whatever their reasoning.... like 18 year old bitching about not being allowed to buy alcohol or WHATEVER, it is not an 'older thing' that's FUNNY By law, age is a number. And you're not as old as you feel. Take a moment and actually be technical instead of trying to be philosphical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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