chinkalicious1

im afraid i wont know if i've met my soul mate until I've lost them. There are many people I have met and loved who are so similar to me with their own flair but when they go away is when you realize how much you loved them. This sounds sad, but i think maybe that's the only way to know. But on a happy note, there is someone who i think might be my soul mate, and her friendship makes everyday brighter.

i'm here! why was today weird?

i know! that was my first inkling... darn though... LOL

you can just click on any old member and once at their profile you can just change the number at the end of the link to 660 and it will show you member #660. they are inactive and have no posts.

oh geez... me too! it never gets old. sigh.. LOL hey! at least if it's him you're the luckiest woman alive!

ok guess not then... still creepy though.

if this mystery is still unsolved... maybe, if this isnt too far of a stretch... assuming it's someone from the MFC, it's member #660??

the problem is that im not really sure how to answer that question. I guess i might even say that they're still in the process of breaking up... but officially... maybe one or 2 months ago at most. her ex is already dating some other woman, but constantly tells her that she misses her and wants to be friends. but she's not sure if she's ready for that and I know that she's not over her yet. we talk about it a lot. i'm one of her few friends who knows the whole story about their entire relationship.... so it comes up a lot. we confide in each other about a lot. most of the time it feels like we've been living each other's lives and our paths have finally crossed... i mean it is just so confusing to read. i told her i had a "girl crush" on her at the end of last year. and apologized if it was creepy to say. but i think girl crush might not imply the same kind of romantic crush since she's really the first woman for me. She responded by saying that it wasn't creepy and that she was "just smiling".... ugh... i dunno...

Geez... is your school in soviet russia?? hahaha

i dont know if i would be comfortable with expressing any possibility of us being in a relationship either mutual or onesided from her or me... i guess im just scared and afraid that I'm jumping the gun. Sometimes i realize how much i think about her and how much i know she still thinks about her ex and I don't feel as though I have a chance against her feelings for her at all. We've shared countless intimate moments as friends. We confide in each other... sometimes it feels as though we've been living parallel lives and we were bound to meet at some point. recently, I've been reevaluating our friendship and over analyzing everything. From songs she decides to send me to the time it takes her to respond to my text messages... I'm a bit obsessive... and i think it's hard for her to not know that i dont like her (if that makes sense) and most people who know about what's going on think that we share mutual feelings for each other.. but im not sure... she is just an affectionate friend, and i reciprocate. we often tell each other that we love each other and we express our feelings about wanting to make the other happy and solve each other's problems. I don't know. i just know that she is still so in love with her ex and she treats her like crap, and i just want to let her know everything will be okay and she deserves so much better than what she gets. she told me that we would be okay, and i can only make her the same promise in return. =/ sorry that was so long...

ugh... i dont know if i could do that either... i sometimes think im too old to be this shy about these things.

i think the server was down... or it was for me at least. it said try again in 45 minutes... all day!! i almost died.. LOL

server is finally back up!!! hooray!!! i felt like an addict going cold turkey... LOL

HOORAY!! the server is back up... i was going a little crazy LOL

hahaha... im confused as to how this conversation turned to cloning haha... I can't keep up, but it's hilarious. also, for a split second ewokwicket your signature looks like mika is wolverine... with drum sticks hahaha.

mika concerts? very sadly, no. any old concert? yep! plenty. have you ever caught yourself making a bad decision? and did it anyways? hah

wow this thread really grew... I always wondered about mika's chinese audience

aww... im sorry ... and I know... I do feel very strongly about it, but I can't tell her because I just don't believe in myself enough, even though many people tell me that they think she reciprocates the emotion. that... and mainly, i can't afford to lose her as a friend. ugh...

YES! too many to count. even stripey toe socks. do you ever feel lost even when you're at home?

I attempted to stalk this jonathan miller because I'm almost slightly obsessed with him haha but he is a journalist and his blog is a compilation of multiple published works of his... i think... but i guess it could be the same JM...?

HAHAHAH! @ this picture! LOL but I guess i need advice too.. or maybe just consolation... I kind of have a hopeless crush on a friend... and it's growing with time. And I'm really having trouble sticking to my usual excuse of it being a really strong friendship... it's just difficult because she's the first woman I've ever been drawn to not that our genders should matter, but she has only ever been attracted to one other woman, who she had a horrible break up with and is ever present playing with her emotions... ugh... but I wish i could tell her how i feel but I'm not brave enough. I wish i could tell her how much i thought about her, and how accustomed i've grown to her presence and her scent and her smile, and even the tears in her eyes. ok... so maybe that was too much information and no one cares really... but i needed to get it off my chest...

no... it's not as great as it sounds. i can understand it but i can only really speak mandarin and a little cantonese... and only select phrases in sichuanese hahha

well, you're super cool to me! hahah ok i think it's bed time... FINALLY. good night though.

ohh it's not you at all! dont you worry. im heading to bed soon. I'm just chatting with the freshman on my hall. I'm just a super cool upperclass woman yeah right hahaha

hahah the problem is that i LOVE to sleep... my body is ambivalent haha. also.. just saw what you wrote in the chinese thread... hahahah you are hilarious.