The "I need advice" thread

[RosinaKiwi]

I remember a thread a while back, complaning that there are too many threads of people winging about non mika related things, and correct me if Im wrong but I havent found a thread for whinging about something you need advice on, so heres my thread, If you need some advice, feeling down about something, or just want to talk about something that is on your mind, but cant quite find a place. then this is the thread

[RosinaKiwi]

NOBODY?? oh well then ill put my EMO story here right now, So before I discovered mika and the MFC I was really not trusting of anyone at all and had given up on most people, now im good and I like to meet new people,

 

I met this woman there, she herself had been abused by her mother and she garenteed she could get me help (nobody helps me, maternal abuse is not recognised in my country!) we even shook on it, she introduced me to this guy and told me to talk to him, I was totally open minded and was really willing to think he would actually be differnt, well different he was, but not in a good way! he built up my confidence with huge empty promices, said all the right things in the womans company and then within seconds he withdrew and basically told me that It was somehow my fault that I was abused by my mother and that I should accept total responsibility and then "build a bridge and get over it!":thumbdown:

 

why do people feel the need to do that? does it give then a thrill? does it make them happy?

im sorry im a total mood killer today, but I just had to share

 

 

EDIT there would be at a protest I was at!

[armande]

What?! that is horrible. It is not your fault at all RosinaKiwi!

I don't know what else to say

[Kissable]

NOBODY?? oh well then ill put my EMO story here right now, So before I discovered mika and the MFC I was really not trusting of anyone at all and had given up on most people, now im good and I like to meet new people,

 

I met this woman there, she herself had been abused by her mother and she garenteed she could get me help (nobody helps me, maternal abuse is not recognised in my country!) we even shook on it, she introduced me to this guy and told me to talk to him, I was totally open minded and was really willing to think he would actually be differnt, well different he was, but not in a good way! he built up my confidence with huge empty promices and within seconds he withdrew and basically told me that It was somehow my fault that I was abused by my mother and that I should accept total responsibility and then "build a bridge and get over it!":thumbdown:

 

why do people feel the need to do that? does it give then a thrill? does it make them happy?

im sorry im a total mood killer today, but I just had to share

 

Because they dont have a life .....Just dont listen to that kind of people!!! Talk with your real friends,they can really help you.

[elanorelle]

NOBODY?? oh well then ill put my EMO story here right now, So before I discovered mika and the MFC I was really not trusting of anyone at all and had given up on most people, now im good and I like to meet new people,

 

I met this woman there, she herself had been abused by her mother and she garenteed she could get me help (nobody helps me, maternal abuse is not recognised in my country!) we even shook on it, she introduced me to this guy and told me to talk to him, I was totally open minded and was really willing to think he would actually be differnt, well different he was, but not in a good way! he built up my confidence with huge empty promices and within seconds he withdrew and basically told me that It was somehow my fault that I was abused by my mother and that I should accept total responsibility and then "build a bridge and get over it!":thumbdown:

 

why do people feel the need to do that? does it give then a thrill? does it make them happy?

im sorry im a total mood killer today, but I just had to share

 

oh my god....how can someone say that! some people make me so mad!!! :sneaky2:

 

I wish I could help you, dear, because if I was there I would.

[Sweet Knees]

Doesn't matter what anyone does, or doesn't do that results in them being abused.

 

The person who abused them made a choice to do it, and therefore its totally their fault.

 

The guy you spoke to is obviously a total idiot. He probably said that cause he is a fraud with no qualifications and had no idea what else to say.

[RosinaKiwi]

im feeling better today, After lots of mika, chocolate and an early night, and everyones advise of course! thanks

[CazGirl]

NOBODY?? oh well then ill put my EMO story here right now, So before I discovered mika and the MFC I was really not trusting of anyone at all and had given up on most people, now im good and I like to meet new people,

 

I met this woman there, she herself had been abused by her mother and she garenteed she could get me help (nobody helps me, maternal abuse is not recognised in my country!) we even shook on it, she introduced me to this guy and told me to talk to him, I was totally open minded and was really willing to think he would actually be differnt, well different he was, but not in a good way! he built up my confidence with huge empty promices, said all the right things in the womans company and then within seconds he withdrew and basically told me that It was somehow my fault that I was abused by my mother and that I should accept total responsibility and then "build a bridge and get over it!":thumbdown:

 

why do people feel the need to do that? does it give then a thrill? does it make them happy?

im sorry im a total mood killer today, but I just had to share

 

 

EDIT there would be at a protest I was at!

 

every relationship, with friends, family or partners, is based on TRUST.

 

Trust is as fragile as glass. The moment it cracks it's likely to shatter soon after. And once it's broken, it can't be fixed. You can get most of the pieces together, but those tiny little shards will be lost forever.

 

Trust is such a beautiful thing, and it's wonderful that you can share your deepest secrets with someone you know who can keep confidential, but can you ever know?

 

Trust is so fickle and you have to choose who you trust very carefully. Friends can backstab you, partners can heartbreak you, even family can turn their back on you.

 

So who do you go to?

 

Not everyone is like that of course, but it's so hard to trust people in this modern day and age. The person you should rely on most is yourself, because YOU know how you feel.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is "once bitten, twice shy". I can totally understand you because I, too, have had trust broken. It's definitely made me cautious and I always question things.

 

It's a pain is the arse sometimes, but I'd rather be careful than foolish.

 

I think everyone can say that.

[mercurygirl]

Wow, Caz, that's beautiful! It's very true too... I have a similar, but shorter saying stuck on my wall:

 

Trust is like a vase. Once broken, it can be repaired, but it will never be the same again.

[Kates]

every relationship, with friends, family or partners, is based on TRUST.

 

Trust is as fragile as glass. The moment it cracks it's likely to shatter soon after. And once it's broken, it can't be fixed. You can get most of the pieces together, but those tiny little shards will be lost forever.

 

Trust is such a beautiful thing, and it's wonderful that you can share your deepest secrets with someone you know who can keep confidential, but can you ever know?

 

Trust is so fickle and you have to choose who you trust very carefully. Friends can backstab you, partners can heartbreak you, even family can turn their back on you.

 

So who do you go to?

 

Not everyone is like that of course, but it's so hard to trust people in this modern day and age. The person you should rely on most is yourself, because YOU know how you feel.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is "once bitten, twice shy". I can totally understand you because I, too, have had trust broken. It's definitely made me cautious and I always question things.

 

It's a pain is the arse sometimes, but I'd rather be careful than foolish.

 

I think everyone can say that.

 

Well said.

[CazGirl]

Wow, Caz, that's beautiful! It's very true too... I have a similar, but shorter saying stuck on my wall:

 

Trust is like a vase. Once broken, it can be repaired, but it will never be the same again.

 

Well said.

 

thankyou

[mercurygirl]

Ok, this is pretty shallow I know but I'm totally stuck!

 

There's this TV show: United States of Reza and the host Reza Mahammad is completely camp and totally adorable! He's been described as "like being ambushed by a cross between Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Freddie Mercury".

 

Anyway so basically I just found his email address online and naturally I want to email him... but! I don't know what to say! So what would you say if you were going to email the most adorable chef on television?

[Lollipop Leftie]

you say "dear Mr Chef,

How does one prepare a delightful Japanese Dish without using soy or fish? Thank you so much, [insert your name here]" then you pass the recipe on to me!

just kidding!

[mercurygirl]

you say "dear Mr Chef,

How does one prepare a delightful Japanese Dish without using soy or fish? Thank you so much, [insert your name here]" then you pass the recipe on to me!

just kidding!

 

Hahahahaha.... gee thanks!

[Lollipop Leftie]

I dunno what you say... I would probably end up asking what his favorite color is...

[RosinaKiwi]

I have a problem, Its a big one, I need advice

 

ok so I really hope nobody who knows this reads this or ill just die

 

but anyway, I went there, I met some really great people, and then on the second night we had a movie night, I heard a guy speak about a particular short film, the words he used sent chills up my spine, his voice, his brains. I had this feeling way before I knew his name or even saw his face.

 

I really like this guy, the little things he does that annoy others seem to make me smile. I dont even know if he knows I like him, or if he feels the same,

 

heres the problem I have...

 

hes 27, oh no thats not a problem if that was the only problem I would probably tell him, BUT.

 

he is my friends brother (I found out after hearing him, and after meeting him for the first time, being introduced a 2nd time by his sister)

 

AND hes the son of my dads Ex...

 

I am torn between my head and my heart, my head says I have far too much to loose, but my heart says go for it.

If I do go for it, I risk loosing the friendship of his sister, and also the relationship I already have with him as a friend if he doesnt feel the same way, ....ahhh help me, Its driving me insane!!!

[pinkunicorn123]

I have a problem, Its a big one, I need advice

 

ok so I really hope nobody who knows this reads this or ill just die

 

but anyway, I went to summer school, I met some really great people, and then on the second night @ summer school we had a movie night, I heard a guy speak about a particular short film, the words he used sent chills up my spine, his voice, his brains. I had this feeling way before I knew his name or even saw his face.

 

I really like this guy, the little things he does that annoy others seem to make me smile. I dont even know if he knows I like him, or if he feels the same,

 

heres the problem I have...

 

hes 27, oh no thats not a problem if that was the only problem I would probably tell him, BUT.

 

he is my friends brother (I found out after hearing him, and after meeting him for the first time, being introduced a 2nd time by his sister)

 

AND hes the son of my dads Ex...

 

I am torn between my head and my heart, my head says I have far too much to loose, but my heart says go for it.

If I do go for it, I risk loosing the friendship of his sister, and also the relationship I already have with him as a friend if he doesnt feel the same way, ....ahhh help me, Its driving me insane!!!

 

Well arent you just a soap opera and a half....

Okay, heres my two cents:

Talk to your friend and your dad but mainly your friend.

Some people are quiet odd about their families so she might object veyr much so, and i think it would be slightly rude to do anything prior to speaking to her about it.

As for your dad - if you do decide to go anywhere with it, he is mature enough to understand and not to act in a way your friend might.

But i would suggest doing anything rash like choosing a guy over your friends. These things are usually phases, sometimes they can develope into more but you need to work out which is a priority to you.

[RosinaKiwi]

Well arent you just a soap opera and a half....

Okay, heres my two cents:

Talk to your friend and your dad but mainly your friend.

Some people are quiet odd about their families so she might object veyr much so, and i think it would be slightly rude to do anything prior to speaking to her about it.

As for your dad - if you do decide to go anywhere with it, he is mature enough to understand and not to act in a way your friend might.

But i would suggest doing anything rash like choosing a guy over your friends. These things are usually phases, sometimes they can develope into more but you need to work out which is a priority to you.

 

I know my dad wont have a problem with it, but I dont know about his mother... and the friendship with his sister is one I definately want to keep, he is leaving for Pilgrimage in a few weeks and will be in Israel for a year, perhaps this gives me time to think, and to talk it over, come next summer I may have some idea of where to take this! then again, perhaps by mentioning it to the sister if she does object, I may loose the friendship anyway... see this is what my mind is doing, (what if, but maybe, and perhaps)

[Buni_Suit_Classix]

Ok, this is pretty shallow I know but I'm totally stuck!

 

There's this TV show: United States of Reza and the host Reza Mahammad is completely camp and totally adorable! He's been described as "like being ambushed by a cross between Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Freddie Mercury".

 

Anyway so basically I just found his email address online and naturally I want to email him... but! I don't know what to say! So what would you say if you were going to email the most adorable chef on television?

Tell him I said hi!

[Buni_Suit_Classix]

I know my dad wont have a problem with it, but I dont know about his mother... and the friendship with his sister is one I definately want to keep, he is leaving for Pilgrimage in a few weeks and will be in Israel for a year, perhaps this gives me time to think, and to talk it over, come next summer I may have some idea of where to take this! then again, perhaps by mentioning it to the sister if she does object, I may loose the friendship anyway... see this is what my mind is doing, (what if, but maybe, and perhaps)

I think a year is a really long time. It might be good to take time off and think about it, and if your feelings are still there when he returns, maybe then consider telling him.

That's just an idea not much of a suggestion.

If I were in your situation, and do choose anything, I'd probably pull him aside, or tell him when the both of us are alone. If he says he's not much interested or something to that nature, then you haven't lost much. I had asked out a guy, worrying I'd ruin our friendship regardless of his answer, (as yes would lead to something more, and no would lead to impending and ultimate fail in the form of losing a friend even), but it seemed like only a week until things went back to normal.

Though everyone reacts and acts differently in different situations, I feel like the whole losing a friend thing if you ask someone out is one of those worries people have that never really happen(sometimes it does, but on a much lesser scale I mean).

 

I don't think I helped much, but I hope I did :]

[RosinaKiwi]

I think a year is a really long time. It might be good to take time off and think about it, and if your feelings are still there when he returns, maybe then consider telling him.

That's just an idea not much of a suggestion.

If I were in your situation, and do choose anything, I'd probably pull him aside, or tell him when the both of us are alone. If he says he's not much interested or something to that nature, then you haven't lost much. I had asked out a guy, worrying I'd ruin our friendship regardless of his answer, (as yes would lead to something more, and no would lead to impending and ultimate fail in the form of losing a friend even), but it seemed like only a week until things went back to normal.

Though everyone reacts and acts differently in different situations, I feel like the whole losing a friend thing if you ask someone out is one of those worries people have that never really happen(sometimes it does, but on a much lesser scale I mean).

 

I don't think I helped much, but I hope I did :]

 

I dont know, I mean, Its not just the friendship I already have with him its also the friendship I have with his sister, I dont want to ruin the friendship with her if it doesnt work out, or if he doesnt feel the same, or if something does happen there...yeah, im tossing up whether to think it over, or talk to her about it, but somewhere in my mind it kind of makes me wounder if I do talk to her about it, if she feels weirded out by it then i could loose her as a friend, things are too damn complicated!

[Guest]

I'm going to hit my dad over the head with something.

 

Ball bat or wooden stake?

[lollipop_monkey]

I'm going to hit my dad over the head with something.

 

Ball bat or wooden stake?

 

Wooden stake. I'm sure that's easier to present as an "accident". And, if it turns out he's a vampire, you're prepared.

 

What's up, Sarie?

[Guest]

Wooden stake. I'm sure that's easier to present as an "accident". And, if it turns out he's a vampire, you're prepared.

 

What's up, Sarie?

 

That's a good idea.

 

*wittles wood into cross-shape and prepares*

 

Oh I'm fine. Just heading to bed. You?

[lollipop_monkey]

That's a good idea.

 

*wittles wood into cross-shape and prepares*

 

Oh I'm fine. Just heading to bed. You?

 

I should be in bed. Someone oughta put me to bed. I have messed up circadian rhythms. Left to my own devices, I'd stay up till 3 and crawl out of bed around 11 or 12. Not good when work is 9-5.

 

Why are you staking your dad, btw?