Who am I?

[CazGirl]

That's an interesting question. Who am I?

 

You tell me. Everyone has a different opinion. Some may see me as an outgoing nutcase, some may see me as a "defensive Good Girl", an innocent daydreamer or a shy girl with emotional wounds, etc...

 

I act differently around different people, because everyone is unique and individual. I suppose I give the impression that I have some sort of "multiple personality disorder", but doesn't everyone have different sides to them? Some people just haven't explored that, or have had events to trigger those hidden emotions. There are only a few people I can be myself with, but with all these different sides to me, who's to say what "myself" is? Just who the heck am I?

 

I don't know. Should I know? A lot of people would probably ask "are you a dancer?", "are you an artist?", "are you a loner?", "are you a party animal?" In respect to those questions, I am an amateur singer, dancer, actress, writer, comic/real life artist...but just who am I inside? What is my soul?

 

People would probably raise their eyebrows at that, thinking the question was weird, or possibly thought provoking.

 

How can you expect to know who you are at this point in life? Or in any point? Everyone changes and evolves after all.

 

Case #1: Outgoing nutcase.

It's true. I'm bonkers.

When I'm with my three closest friends, I'm loud, excitable, constantly laughing, confident, loves fun, childish...whether it be out having lunch, round their house or clubbing. I feel comfortable doing this with them because I know they don't judge me. I love this side of myself because it's when I'm most happy.

 

Case #2: Defensive "Good Girl".

I've had a lot of bad things happen to me. I've heard and seen a few terrible things. My best friend and I got bullied all the way from primary to senior school and I got groped a lot. I've had heartache and heartbreak...

This is why I'm defensive and opinionated, but also why I can give balanced views; from the bullying I learned about stereotyping, from the groping I learned self respect, from the heartache I learned not to trust easily. Whenever someone honks/whistles at me I find it the most repulsive thing, it makes me feel dirty and leads me to believe they only want me for one thing, and not the whole package with flaws included.

 

Case #3: Innocent daydreamer.

I daydream all the time, from the moment I wake up, to the moment I stop talking, to the moment I go to sleep. I daydream about anything; personal enjoyment or trying to solve a problem. I have vivid daydreams to the point where I'm on autopilot and all I see are images, and it's always from someone else's point of view. It's something I've done since I were little. My sisters are quite older than me so I was often by myself, with only my imagination for company.

Not that I'm complaining. I love my brain, but it's a pain in the arse sometimes!

 

Case #4: Shy girl with emotional wounds.

This is to do with men, mostly. I'm very defensive when I'm with someone I'm attracted to because of the past. I fear getting hurt again. I've learnt my lesson but how do I know when life is just testing me again or if it's the real deal? I don't.

It's like jumping from a high dive board into water; some may jump and belly flop which hurts. Some may drown. Some may jump off beautifully, dive peacefully and happily and come out highly exhilirated. Me, on the other hand, get on that board, look down below, hesitate, then get straight off.

I just need to learn to jump and to take a risk.

 

Our bodies change as we get older, likewise with our personalities because we never stop learning. Our opinions will change. Our lifestyle will change. Our viewpoint will change.

 

From the moment we're born to the moment we pass over, we are always evolving.

 

Just who am I? I can't tell you. Get to know me and figure out for yourself.

 

 

 

 

Hello, I'm Caroline. This is a thought provoking thread where you can philosophise as much as you like. Feel free to tell your biography, like I have. Got a philosophical question or point? Feel the need to explain something? Got an opinion? Share it here.

 

There's no haters here. There's no tears. Just deep people who love the art of conversation.

[CazGirl]

Gosh the forum is busy tonight! BUMP!!!

[Pam Travers]

lol.

 

who you are and where you're from etc. well you might be from Thespiae in Boetia I think

[CazGirl]

have we not got any philosophical people on tonight?

[CazGirl]

lol.

 

who you are and where you're from etc. well you might be from Thespiae in Boetia I think

 

from WHERE? care to enlighten me?

[Pam Travers]

from WHERE? care to enlighten me?

 

it was the city where narcissus lived

[CazGirl]

nobody loves me :tears:

[phunkygal]

okay, i shall work on one!

[CazGirl]

it was the city where narcissus lived

 

Ohhhh Greek Mythology!! The guy who looked at his reflection in the water and completely fell in love with himself

[CazGirl]

okay, i shall work on one!

 

excellent! yay people are joining my thread!

[Lissa]

have we not got any philosophical people on tonight?

 

I've come to the conclusion lately that I really shouldn't worry so much about what people think about me because it's keeping me locked in a prison. So what if people think I'm weird? It's just my personality. And yet... although I believe this, I still struggle to act completely free. What is that about?

[phunkygal]

#1 the bitch:

I tend to take charge of things when needed, especially in school when people slack off. I also have been known to flip out on people because they arent doing soemthing right. Im also prone to catfights because im very opinionated, and if you get on my nerves, i will make it a point. Also, i dont talk behind people's back, i say things to their face, if someone is useless, i make sure i tell them! also, if someone isnt treating me with the same respect as someone else i WILL flip out!

 

 

#2 the dramaqueen:

 

I cry over little things whether it be a note back from lukas on his myspace, or not meeting lukas. im very emotional about things.

 

 

#3 the sweet girl

 

i kiss up to the people i want to like me, period. that is the only time im really sweet besides when someone needs some sweetness.

 

 

#4 the weirdo

 

i talk nonstop about random things, i quote random people, i talk in british accents (that suck) and talk in mika lyrics for a whole day. i dress crazy. most people who dont know me well just see me as a weirdo.

 

 

 

 

 

basically my bio of things that have made me the person i am:

 

1. when i was 5 my mother was diagnosed with cancer

2.when i was 7, she died

3.when i was 10 my stepmom was diagnosed with cancer

4. on the brighter side, i have discovered mika, the person who inspires me every single day

[Mika4Life13]

nobody loves me :tears:

I do, Caz, I do

[Mika4Life13]

I'll do me, incase anyone cares:roftl:

[CazGirl]

I've come to the conclusion lately that I really shouldn't worry so much about what people think about me because it's keeping me locked in a prison. So what if people think I'm weird? It's just my personality. And yet... although I believe this, I still struggle to act completely free. What is that about?

 

It doesn't matter how much of the past you try to let go, it always sticks. I don't care what people think of me, I really don't. If people don't like me, I don't care, but I try to avoid people hating me if I can because I don't want that to happen, if you get me.

Besides, this is a new way of life for you. You're just getting used to it!

 

basically my bio of things that have made me the person i am:

 

1. when i was 5 my mother was diagnosed with cancer

2.when i was 7, she died

3.when i was 10 my stepmom was diagnosed with cancer

4. on the brighter side, i have discovered mika, the person who inspires me every single day

 

gosh, i'm so sorry breana.

[CazGirl]

I do, Caz, I do

 

yay!

 

I'll do me, incase anyone cares:roftl:

 

sure, go ahead!

[Mika4Life13]

#1 sensitive.

 

 

This is 50/50. I am not overly sensitive like people say (to my face) that I am. I am very..well you need to meet me to know what tone of voice I use

 

#2 Dramatic.

 

I make a scene with my singing horse galloping yaddayaddayadda,

 

#3 Insane.

 

True

 

 

Facts about me.

 

1. I have 3 best friends : emma, lucy and larkin.

2. Emma and I were hippies in a parade when we were 7.

3. My dad has muscular dystrophy and has never been able to lift me or go up stairs.

4. I have 2 american girls.

5. I am obsessed with olives.

6. I was inlove with lionel richie when i was 4.

7. Kids said i "used big words." when i was in kindergarten.

8. IN kindy I refused to use scissors due to the safety of me and the other children.

9. I lie.

10. when i get stressed my eyes go really small.

[Mika4Life13]

ooh and from seeing Dances with wolves I have memorized buffalo in their native language

 

"Ketunga." OHHHH!! yes yes.

[Hannah]

ooh and from seeing Dances with wolves I have memorized buffalo in their native language

 

"Ketunga." OHHHH!! yes yes.

 

I love you. :roftl:

[Mika4Life13]

I love you. :roftl:

*holds up pointer fingers to head like a buffalo and starts making grumbly noises whilst runnign around in a circle*

[sparkly1]

OO interesting thread.

We all ask what am I from time to time and as you rightly say ppl change and evolve and learn constantly (thankfully).

 

• I used to be really out going when I was a kid and teenager (which is surprising cos life was not a bed of roses) I was bullied for for being the poorest family in the school and family life sucked as well.
  
• Then the older I got the more shy and introverted I became.
  
• I have always been far too sensitive and it can be really embarrassing to shed tears as easily as I do (I welled up tonight while watching Vix at her singing lesson cos I know the song she was singing means such a lot to her to get it right and it sounded pretty dam good).(Defying Gravity from Wicked).
  
  
• I express my feelings in my poetry, I don't profess it to be of a high quality so when I write from the heart is is often quite raw. (linkage to a few I posted if anyone is interested) http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5969
  
• I dislike almost everything about myself which is a real pain and makes me even more introverted and shy, though once I get to know ppl I like nothing better than having a great laugh with them I love laughter soo much that is Mikas sweetest characteristic for me.
  
• My parents and family disowned me 24 years ago for something THEY did wrong not me, so that means they have never seen my children, it took a long time but I got over it.
  
• I swear more than I like to and can be grumpy sometimes lol.
  
• I am also a bit of a deep thinker but it can be upsetting sometimes.

Can't think of much else right now I think I have probs said too much already lol. But since finding Mika and MFC my days have much more sunshine in them even though I often stay up till the wee hours on here.

[wasabi_tea]

Who am I?

 

Ah, that is a good question...

 

For a long time, I used to wonder whether I was perhaps an alien of some sort, because I was so different from everybody else. I'm not even kidding. XD;

 

Actually, even now, I wonder what the hell I am. Where did I really come from? What actually made me? Surely it couldn't have been human, because if it was, I would've been born a little bit more normal? Surely, if it was human, I wouldn't have developed so many traits that scare people so much?

 

Perhaps I'll never find the answer. It doesn't help that there's a lot of me that I've learned to keep locked away so that I don't scare or upset people. But ah well... no biggie. That's just life... and life was never meant to be a bed of roses.

[calicojasmine]

My life reads like a Greek Tragedy. I have suffered multiple traumas, many illnesses and ongoing abuse. My story began in utero when my mother took a toxic drug eventually found to cause cancer in the daughters of women who took this prescription. I have been seriously - no, critically ill all my life. For a long time doctors did not believe me and treated me with psychotropics (psych. meds) which made me catatonic. By the time I was properly diagnosed it was too late - my life has been on a downward spiral since. I had a career as a medical social worker but was forced to go on disability in 2001 due to several chronic medical conditions. Now I have been diagnosed yet again with a progressive/terminal condition - why? Because of all the drugs (medications) that have been prescribed over the years. I live alone with my cat and have virtually little support. I left my ex-husband 12 years ago - he was abusive in every sense of the word. I have learned NOT to depend on anyone for anything - and have survived because I developed street smarts and advocated for myself. IF I HAD BEEN STUPID I WOULD BE DEAD. I actually diagnosed several of my conditions myself - haha - missed my true calling - should've been a doctor! Anyways - this is not about having a Pity Party - it's about who I am.... and despite the pain and angst I am STILL doing for others and being the selfless individual that is "Calamity Joan".......

[heineken22]

interesting thread.

i'd like to elaborate upon me, for a little bit.

 

#1-The Drama Queen

almost in the literal sense. I am an actor, thespian, whatever you want to call it. I tend to make things seem more serious or worse than they really are. I have very deep, almost polar emotions. I can euphoric, on cloud 9, and super happy, or I can be in deep, utter despair. never half-hearted emotions, they are always felt deeply.

 

#2-The Extrovert

I am EXTREMELY extroverted. I can approach a random person and make small talk. It doesn't bother me. I absolutely HATE talking on the telephone to certain people, because I feel like i'm going to make a fool of myself, no matter what I say. I ALWAYS am talking, singing, tapping, whistling...I'm just a loud person, no matter what, and I can tell that it annoys people sometimes.

 

#3-Sensitive

what most people don't know is that i'm waaaaaaaay sensitive.

I internalize things a lot, so I end up getting my feelings hurt, even if something a person said didn't mean for it to be hurtful.

I always feel like people are saying unkind things about me.

But, I am very good at listening, and usually either empathizing or sympathizing. I like to help people through tough situations.

 

I'm pretty....well, to be frank, screwed up. My parents divorced when I was 8, and my parents said degrading things about each other in front of me, so I don't have a very good relationship with either of them (mostly my mother)

 

In general, I tend to be a very happy person, but I get discouraged easily, because I have a fear of failure, and not pleasing everyone.

I have really low self esteem that my mother instilled in me at a young age, because I was never 'skinny' or 'pretty' enough, and she was always obsessing about weight and vanity, that I too, still have issues with it.

 

Most of the time, I keep my emotions in check, especially because I don't like people to see me cry, because it makes me feel very vulnerable.

 

aaand...

that's pretty much all about me.

[Pam Travers]

I left my ex-husband 12 years ago - he was abusive in every sense of the word. I have learned NOT to depend on anyone for anything QUOTE]

 

 

never ever depend on anyone but yourself:thumb_yello: so many people stay with abusive jerks, i'm proud of you you left though i dont no you and let me offer you some:flowers2: something that he probably nver did or not very often i'm sure. take care of yourself because nobody else will:wink2:

 

xx