1kiwiabroad Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 hahahahaaaa!!!! my sister would love that one.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen100 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 If you meant the second one, I've got another one in that area. At the end of the school year, the teacher asks the kids what was the biggest lesson they learnt that year. One kid replies: when you're in chemistry class, don't lick the spoon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yuppymunch Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 okay, so i don't know if it's a language problem... or because i stayed up all night and it's now morning, but i don't get it... i didnt either, and i do speak english! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1kiwiabroad Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 hahaha!!! dont lick the spoon....suxking too hard on your spoon, hey manganese chloride's gonna get you hospitalized! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 i didnt either, and i do speak english! ok my joke, its hard to get at first! ill explane again it all depends on the meaning of the words screw AND in Screw is ment to be taken as to have chicken.... and in as in inside! do you get it now??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eryanarose Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 ok my joke, its hard to get at first! ill explane again it all depends on the meaning of the words screw AND in Screw is ment to be taken as to have chicken.... and in as in inside! do you get it now??? Ok...I thought I got it at first but now I'm really really confuzzled...what does chicken have to do with anything?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Love Me Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Q:why doesnt the queen wave with this hand? *waves hand* A: beucause its mine!!!! ah, i love that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Q:why doesnt the queen wave with this hand? *waves hand* A: beucause its mine!!!! ah, i love that joke. :lmfao: :lmfao: great!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Love Me Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 :lmfao: :lmfao: great!!! i get some pretty strange looks when i tell that joke becuse people thinks theres supposed to be more to it but there isnt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curly Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Okay they're not great but enjoy them anyway! After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?" The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times." --------------------------------------------------- There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants." --------------------------------------------------- A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs." --------------------------------------------------- The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar. --------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, “Hey, what're you in for?†“I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little worried,†said Tim. “Oh, don't worry about it," Sammy said. "I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!†“Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. “That's not half-bad. So, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?†“I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is,†Sammy answered. “Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Ok...I thought I got it at first but now I'm really really confuzzled...what does chicken have to do with anything?? No you were probably right at first! chicken is used to explain.....well.....having it off with someone! we use chicken instead of the word! sorry to confuse you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Fun in the Elevator Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, d---it, all of you just shut UP!" Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. Sell Girl Scout cookies. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. Do Tai Chi exercises. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, d--n motion sickness!" Give religious tracts to each passenger. Meow occassionally. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" Leave a box between the doors. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it. Start a sing-along. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" Shadow box. Say "Ding!" at each floor. Lean against the button panel. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." Bring a chair along. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" Blow spit bubbles. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" Terribly SORRY!!! i just had to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eryanarose Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 No you were probably right at first! chicken is used to explain.....well.....having it off with someone! we use chicken instead of the word! sorry to confuse you! so if we find someone really attractive do we use the word chickeny?? i.e. Mika looked so chickening when he danced during Sweet Dreams. That just sounds ...and looks...odd... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 so if we find someone really attractive do we use the word chickeny??i.e. Mika looked so chickening when he danced during Sweet Dreams. That just sounds ...and looks...odd... Um not quite! check it out http://www.sendlaughter.com/pages/snapshot.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollipopgirl83 Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 OMG...I have that exact same list of the elevator things!!...I always laugh so hard I cry!!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 OMG...I have that exact same list of the elevator things!!...I always laugh so hard I cry!!... have you ever tried doing them for real in an elevator? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurygirl Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I robber walks into a bank, pulls out his gun and says: "Gimme the money or you'll be geography!" The assistant replies: "Don't you mean history?" Robber: "Don't change the subject!" Two fish in a pool of water, one swims into a wall, the other says: "Dam" Two cows on a hill, one says: "Have you heard about this mad cow disease?" 2nd cow: "Yeah it's awful, but I'm not scared." 1st cow: "Why not? I'm terrified!" 2nd cow: Well I'm safe aren't I? I'm a helicopter." Two sheep in a field, one says: "Baaaaa" the other says: "That's what I was gonna say!" How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5. (1 to hold the lightbulb and 4 to turn the ladder round) What's the difference between Michael Jckson and a plastic shopping bag? One is artificial, melts in the sunlight and is dangerous for children to play with The other you put your grocceries into. If you have mothball in this hand *holds up cupped right hand* And a mothball in this hand *same with the left* What have you got? A: A VERY big moth!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosieLou Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Ok, this one's weird. There's a farmer who has 3 daughters. He is very overprotective of them and on the night of their first dates he locks them in their rooms and stands by the door with a shotgun. The first date arrives. "My name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're gonna watch the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer lets the boy take his daughter on the date. The second date arrives. "My name is Benny, I'm here to get Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer says ok and lets them go. The thrid date arrives and says "I'm Chuck." The farmer shoots him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_Lollipop Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I robber walks into a bank, pulls out his gun and says: "Gimme the money or you'll be geography!"The assistant replies: "Don't you mean history?" Robber: "Don't change the subject!" Two fish in a pool of water, one swims into a wall, the other says: "Dam" Two cows on a hill, one says: "Have you heard about this mad cow disease?" 2nd cow: "Yeah it's awful, but I'm not scared." 1st cow: "Why not? I'm terrified!" 2nd cow: Well I'm safe aren't I? I'm a helicopter." Two sheep in a field, one says: "Baaaaa" the other says: "That's what I was gonna say!" How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5. (1 to hold the lightbulb and 4 to turn the ladder round) What's the difference between Michael Jckson and a plastic shopping bag? One is artificial, melts in the sunlight and is dangerous for children to play with The other you put your grocceries into. If you have mothball in this hand *holds up cupped right hand* And a mothball in this hand *same with the left* What have you got? A: A VERY big moth!!! I love the blonde joke! :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurygirl Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Ok, this one's weird. There's a farmer who has 3 daughters. He is very overprotective of them and on the night of their first dates he locks them in their rooms and stands by the door with a shotgun. The first date arrives. "My name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're gonna watch the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer lets the boy take his daughter on the date. The second date arrives. "My name is Benny, I'm here to get Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer says ok and lets them go. The thrid date arrives and says "I'm Chuck." The farmer shoots him. LMAO!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosieLou Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 LMAO!!!!!! If you have itunes, type 'doog toons' in the search. It's hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurygirl Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 If you have itunes, type 'doog toons' in the search. It's hilarious. OK!!! will do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosieLou Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 OK!!! will do! Ask a ninja is funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosinaKiwi Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Ok, this one's weird. There's a farmer who has 3 daughters. He is very overprotective of them and on the night of their first dates he locks them in their rooms and stands by the door with a shotgun. The first date arrives. "My name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're gonna watch the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer lets the boy take his daughter on the date. The second date arrives. "My name is Benny, I'm here to get Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer says ok and lets them go. The thrid date arrives and says "I'm Chuck." The farmer shoots him. :roftl: :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soon-to-bemrs.penniman Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Ok, this one's weird. There's a farmer who has 3 daughters. He is very overprotective of them and on the night of their first dates he locks them in their rooms and stands by the door with a shotgun. The first date arrives. "My name is Joe, I'm here to get Flo, we're gonna watch the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer lets the boy take his daughter on the date. The second date arrives. "My name is Benny, I'm here to get Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer says ok and lets them go. The thrid date arrives and says "I'm Chuck." The farmer shoots him. :lmao::lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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