What's been on my mind...hear me out.

[BonjourMika1990]

I don't have many people I can confide this to, because I feel very ashamed to be honest.

 

I worked really hard, my entire highschool career. When I was a freshman, someone told me that because I was put into a lower math level course, I wouldn't be able to graduate with an honours diploma. That bummed me out so bad. MATH is the only subject that drives me insane...the only one that I just can't get, or rather bores me to death that I am not motivated to understand it.

 

The next year, my couselor eased my mind, telling me that it was still possible to receive an honours diploma...as long as I took 4 years of math instead of the regular 3:blink: (which I wasn't happy about, but knew would need to be done) I wanted it that bad.

 

So the years went by. Junior year, I excelled the most...at one point maintaining a 4.1 G.P.A (that didn't last very long) Still, it was great. Overall, I would say that my average has been about an A-. My school's grading scale is HARD...WE are different than public schools...a 92% for example is a B+...and if that 92% is a 92.5%, don't even think they'll round it up to an A. So, considering that level of elevation in the grades, I did exceptionally well and was considered "smart" amongst my peers. I struggled to maintain atleast a C in EVERY SINGLE math course. Obviously, I tried...not my best I admit because I HATE THE SUbJECT.

 

*To get an honours diploma, you can't have a single D on your report card, not one.*

 

Of course, I got a D in Algebra 2...at the end of the year.

 

My counselor and I had just made the plans: Signed up for all of the courses I would need the following year to get an honours diploma which would include one more year of a math class. Not just any math class, PRE CALCULUS. AND...AND CHEMISTRY *gulp*

 

But, for some reason, the fact that I got a D didn't phase me because at the time I didn't realize that particular rule...

 

So when I returned, for my senior year... TAKING THESE HARD MATH COURSES ALL IN PURSUIT OF THAT DIPLOMA, NO WAY OUT... I WAS ASKED TO COME MEET WITH MY COUNSELOR.

 

She's new, so it doesn't help. Anyway, I was talking and talking about how I was gonna try my best in these ridiculous classes just so I could get that honours diploma...and she said, "Well, you do have a D." My expression went ...what did she mean?

 

"You can't have any D's to get an honours diploma..." She looked sad for me.

My eyes started to water, but I pulled it together.

 

We discussed everything else...but I wanted to burst out in swear words and cry my little heart out because all that I had worked for had been ripped away from me in a single minute. I wasn't going to graduate with honours...I couldn't believe it.

 

My class is highly competative... I've never been in the top ten, but always close... I made #12 once. My friends are all in the top 10 and the others are graduating with honours...well, not all of them, but alot. I just felt really stupid and left out.

 

I walked back to my class after that meeting wanting so badly to just go home and cry... and do you know what was in my head... ANY OTHER WORLD:crybaby: "Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in..." and than I realized I was crying walking back to my class so I STOPPED, "smile like you mean it."

 

Ladies and gentlemen I faked that smile like i've never faked anything before.

 

When I got home I retreated in my room and cried...cried and slept for the rest of the day.

 

FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY, and I realize the work that needs to be done to pass the two classes that I am stuck with...PRE CAL AND CHEM... I had NO motivation to do well after that one session with my counselor...what for? There was no longer an honours diploma waiting for me.

 

I have tried, however, to focus on what needs to be done for my own sake and the sake of my future. Up until now, it hasn't really helped. I got really distracted:blush-anim-cl:

 

So, I'm close to accepting it, but I want to conquer these courses... I might very well get a D overall in both this year...I hope that doesn't happen, but It could.

 

I've got a GPA of a B+/ B now:sneaky2:

 

I know that to alot this thread is a bit dramatic and you'd probably ask "why is she so worked up over this..." But I was so used to being the best and to conquering the things that were hard.

 

I feel regretful now...guilty and ashamed that I couldn't just get that one C+

 

I hate feeling that way, so I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need a stupid honours diploma to make me feel smart...numbers don't matter...all that. In the end, I think that ideaology is right...for now though, I feel very upset with myself.

 

I have to do really well on the finals for those two classes to even get a C:shocked: I've got one test tomorrow, and the other on friday.

 

I'm scared out of my mind you guys.

 

I should mention that I am technically graduating as a member of the national honors society...but that's not the same as the diploma...

[babspanky]

I have nothing smart or wise to say to you, as I am not smart or wise, but just wanted to say, do your best in your tests this week, try to keep a positive attitude and don't be too hard on yourself - it sounds like your school has extremely high standards.

 

Sorry, I can't impart any pearls of wisdom, but I'll send you some positive vibes.

[BonjourMika1990]

I have nothing smart or wise to say to you, as I am not smart or wise, but just wanted to say, do your best in your tests this week, try to keep a positive attitude and don't be too hard on yourself - it sounds like your school has extremely high standards.

 

Sorry, I can't impart any pearls of wisdom, but I'll send you some positive vibes.

 

aww thanks babs, postive vibes is all I can ask for really:bleh:

[mercurygirl]

hey hun... That story actually really struck a note with me, becasue I also struggle a lot with maths. It's really impressive that have been doing so well, but i know what it's like to be so worried about something! But my mum always tell me that the marks you get aren't half as importana as what people think of you.

 

I know that your first reaction to that comment is going to be "yeah, but...." becasue that's exactly how I felt! But when you look back it really makes sense. As long as you honestly try your very best you should always be proud of youself!

 

I get C's and D's for maths too, but at my school a C is 60%, so you must be really good to get the marks you are getting at the moment if 92% is a B.

 

If there was something I could tell you that would make it all better I would, but I think I've said everything there is to say really. I wish lots of luck for your upcoming tests.... I will cross my fingers for you, I promise. Just do your very best.

[BonjourMika1990]

hey hun... That story actually really struck a note with me, becasue I also struggle a lot with maths. It's really impressive that have been doing so well, but i know what it's like to be so worried about something! But my mum always tell me that the marks you get aren't half as importana as what people think of you.

 

I know that your first reaction to that comment is going to be "yeah, but...." becasue that's exactly how I felt! But when you look back it really makes sense. As long as you honestly try your very best you should always be proud of youself!

 

I get C's and D's for maths too, but at my school a C is 60%, so you must be really good to get the marks you are getting at the moment if 92% is a B.

 

If there was something I could tell you that would make it all better I would, but I think I've said everything there is to say really. I wish lots of luck for your upcoming tests.... I will cross my fingers for you, I promise. Just do your very best.

 

Thank you so much...that made me feel a bit better:blush-anim-cl:

[nicole]

I actually understand you very well.

 

When I was in basic school, our class was competative also, but I managed to be the best one! Yes, the best one or the second best and I was sooo proud of it and happy.

 

Now it's my third year in high school and everything's upside down. I had to change school and I hate my new school so badly! Everyone in the class is so lazy and I can't say I like the teachers either. I have really good grades in other subjects, but maths, chemistry and physics are just killing me!

 

I don't understand them and as much as I try I still can't get good grades. I like languages and literature and subjects like that and it's painful for me to look at my report card, because maths ruins everything.

 

And I even managed to fail in maths. Never in my life I would have thought that something like this will happen to me. Horrible. But this only happened ONCE. Won't let it happen again.

 

I am a bit perfectionist, so yeah, I can say that I have found myself crying in front of the books and stuff. And since I'm totally obsessed with English, I am so scared of making mistakes that sometimes I feel like screaming, cause I just don't get everything right. I know it's normal, cause it's not my first language, but still. Can't help it. Drives me crazy.

 

I feel your pain. That's all I can say.

[BonjourMika1990]

I actually understand you very well.

 

When I was in basic school, our class was competative also, but I managed to be the best one! Yes, the best one or the second best and I was sooo proud of it and happy.

 

Now it's my third year in high school and everything's upside down. I had to change school and I hate my new school so badly! Everyone in the class is so lazy and I can't say I like the teachers either. I have really good grades in other subjects, but maths, chemistry and physics are just killing me!

 

I don't understand them and as much as I try I still can't get good grades. I like languages and literature and subjects like that and it's painful for me to look at my report card, because maths ruins everything.

 

And I even managed to fail in maths. Never in my life I would have thought that something like this will happen to me. Horrible. But this only happened ONCE. Won't let it happen again.

 

I am a bit perfectionist, so yeah, I can say that I have found myself crying in front of the books and stuff. And since I'm totally obsessed with English, I am so scared of making mistakes that sometimes I feel like screaming, cause I just don't get everything right. I know it's normal, cause it's not my first language, but still. Can't help it. Drives me crazy.

 

I feel your pain. That's all I can say.

 

Wow, its scary how similar our situations are...I have had breakdowns crying on top of my text books lol and yes, I'll even cover the math grade with my hand when I first get my report card:naughty:

[Becky]

School sucks We don't have the same system as you guys in America, but I'm currently doing my GCSEs, and I have 2 exams next week. But I didn't know. I was off for a long time (From the first week back til Monday just gone) because of illness. My mum called about twice a week, and tried to sort out schoolwork and coursework out for me. They weren't helpful; infact, they were **** to be honest. I was really annoyed, because my intelligence is the one thing I am proud of about myself. But they lied... And lied... And lied again. Eventually I got TWO pieces of coursework, and a homework booklet. I was pretty annoyed, and got my mum to tell the school that this wasn't enough for 3/4 months without any proper schooling, but the school couldn't send me anymorew because they broke up at the end of the week.

So I did the coursework the best I could. And half of the H/W booklet, because I knew this was for the year, from the first week I was in.

I went back to school, and my friend says to me "Jeez, I'm going to fail these exams..." so I assumed she meant mocks, so I said "Don't worry, they're just mocks..." But she explained these were the first GCSE Science exams. I was so annoyed in my head, but I said nothing, thinking of why the school wouldn't tell me in advance. I spoke to my parents and they said they'd write a letter saying it's unfair that I wasn't told. My first science teacher said nothing to me, when I went into my lesson about it, my second one had left a note in my book, saying to speak to her after the lesson, but when I did she said 'Well, that was then. We can't do much now. I'll catch up with you another time.' I thought that was rude, because she could have at least given me a brief on what to particulary study, or something. Luckily, my third science teacher said I don't have to take the mark, as I haven't been in. I was verry relieved, as science is my best subject and I would be really sad if I failed.

I hope you do well, Melaine, and make sure you relax, because otherwise you have more chance of failing. I panicked in my SATS mocks; didn't go well... Good luck!

[nicole]

Wow, its scary how similar our situations are...I have had breakdowns crying on top of my text books lol and yes, I'll even cover the math grade with my hand when I first get my report card:naughty:

 

Yup, they are pretty similar.

 

Now I just wish I had chosen a different school. Where teachers would demand more and students would be ambitious. I know that some people might think like "What? Who wants a school like that?" , but that's exactly what I need. I don't feel that my school is making me work hard enough.

 

Like today, I had made a long monologue in English and I was really excited about it, cause we were supposed to go in front of the class and then present it, but surprise, surprise - the teacher didn't even ask me! I was so disappointed and angry.

 

I have 4 exams in the spring. I wanna do them as well as possible! I'm determined!

 

But I hope everything goes well for you, cause I'm sure you are a really really smart girl.

[BonjourMika1990]

School sucks We don't have the same system as you guys in America, but I'm currently doing my GCSEs, and I have 2 exams next week. But I didn't know. I was off for a long time (From the first week back til Monday just gone) because of illness. My mum called about twice a week, and tried to sort out schoolwork and coursework out for me. They weren't helpful; infact, they were **** to be honest. I was really annoyed, because my intelligence is the one thing I am proud of about myself. But they lied... And lied... And lied again. Eventually I got TWO pieces of coursework, and a homework booklet. I was pretty annoyed, and got my mum to tell the school that this wasn't enough for 3/4 months without any proper schooling, but the school couldn't send me anymorew because they broke up at the end of the week.

So I did the coursework the best I could. And half of the H/W booklet, because I knew this was for the year, from the first week I was in.

I went back to school, and my friend says to me "Jeez, I'm going to fail these exams..." so I assumed she meant mocks, so I said "Don't worry, they're just mocks..." But she explained these were the first GCSE Science exams. I was so annoyed in my head, but I said nothing, thinking of why the school wouldn't tell me in advance. I spoke to my parents and they said they'd write a letter saying it's unfair that I wasn't told. My first science teacher said nothing to me, when I went into my lesson about it, my second one had left a note in my book, saying to speak to her after the lesson, but when I did she said 'Well, that was then. We can't do much now. I'll catch up with you another time.' I thought that was rude, because she could have at least given me a brief on what to particulary study, or something. Luckily, my third science teacher said I don't have to take the mark, as I haven't been in. I was verry relieved, as science is my best subject and I would be really sad if I failed.

I hope you do well, Melaine, and make sure you relax, because otherwise you have more chance of failing. I panicked in my SATS mocks; didn't go well... Good luck!

 

 

My thoughts are with you:thumb_yello: AND, I'm finding it difficult to focus right now:blink:

 

[wasabi_tea]

For someone who hates maths (and also taking into consideration the insane grade boundaries at your school), it sounds like you've actually done amazingly well so far! If I'd been put in your situation, I think I would've died a dozen deaths and failed everything catastrophically.

 

At school, I was always in one of the Intermediate Maths classes rather than the Higher Maths class, and one time, my teacher decided I (along with several others in my class) ought to try a transitional class to Higher Maths because he thought we were good at Maths (HAH!) and could get a better grade in the Higher GCSE exam (you can only get up to a B in Intermediate Maths). I figured I ought to give it a try.

 

Several weeks of these transitional classes later, my brain was so frickin' frazzled from all this letters-in-sums-with-bonkers-numbers-and-random-symbols nonsense, I could hardly think straight for a LONG time afterwards. I literally felt like this -> *LOL* So it was with much relief that I returned to my Intermediate class, which still included nonsensical algebra-type-things, but this stuff was about a quarter as cuckoo as the weirdness I'd had to endure in the transitional class.

 

It sounds like your classes have revolved around all the sort of stuff that killed my brain, so to think you've managed to get a C or more in all your maths subjects bar one so far is pretty astounding to me! Exams are indeed scary, especially in evil subjects like Maths, but you sound like a very hard worker, so I'm sure it'll be fine in the end. Try to stay calm (positive thinking and perhaps some nice soothing music might help!), and remember that at the end of the day, you can only do your best.

[PhotoJenic]

Graduating in the National Honor Society is a pretty big thing in itself. It's nothing to bump down and mark it as 'good but not good enough.' It was a big deal for me since a teacher had to nominate you for it. You didn't just get in for good grades someone actually had to nominate you which I found odd that it works that way. Also being able to be around the 28th person to graduate out of a class close to 200 was a big thing. Then my college during my freshman year decided to set up the Sigma Alpha Pi National Honor Society of Leadership & Success and I along with a couple of friends were invited to be apart of the first group to join it and that was pretty big too. You get to wear something special at graduation and I'm not sure what else. I'm sad that I won't get to wear it as I'm not graduating from this college because I am leaving for a top photography college after this semester where I'm sure they don't have a society like that. Even though I don't get to be recognized as a member when I do graduate next year I'll still be proud because I know I am one. Even though graduating with an honors diploma is different the NHS is still far up there, not everyone gets into it. It still looks just as great on applications because it shows that you did the work and you are dedicated.

 

One thing that I tell people though is that people coming from high school into college find the grading differently. My friend spazzed out because he was ALWAYS an A student during high school and it changed in college because of the grading. Where I go the homework is worth a lot more than tests but I'm sure each college will be different.

[Diana]

I don't know what to say really, everything has already been said. Try to relax a bit and don't beat yourself up over this.

 

I can't really relate to you as I've always been a lazy bum who did absolutely nothing in school but still got decent grades. I know I could've excelled had I put an effort into it but I couldn't be arsed.

So yeah, you should be proud of yourself that you're working this hard and getting AMAZING grades!

[Fmbm]

Awww Melanie

 

 

It'll be ok!

 

First of all, no one needs anything beyond the basic skills of math. Secondly, don't beat yourself up over this! It doesn't make you any less smarter. You are a really smart girl and you don't need to rely on a math grade to make you feel smart. You will succeed in whatever you do - i know it! Please, take it easy, you'll be fine, you're strong.

[Mika3Maniac]

Awww, it sounds like your school is really tough! I'm really sorry, but it sounds like you've done well in most of your classes, and you're an NHS member, so that is good too! I'm going through a hard time at school also. I'm in my junior year, and the stress is really getting to me. Today was horrible. I got my AP history test back and I got a 52%. My first F ever. Then, I went to my next period, Spanish. We got our tests back and I received a 53%. My second F ever. BOTH IN THE SAME DAY! I wanted to cry and give up, but I soon realized that there are more important things in life than school. My school and friends are really competitive also, and sometimes I get really caught up in that; but really, the only person that we have to compete against is ourselves. If we let negative thoughts distract us from important things, matters are only going to get worse.

 

Basically I'm saying try not to worry. I know it's hard, because I'm trying not to worry right now too. But just study as much as you can, and you know that you are trying your best!!!

[Blue Sky]

I don't have pearls of wisdom, but I would just say try to be resilient, don't let this get to the core of your being, be strong and know this is not some sort of final judgment of who you are as a person.

 

My family says BTYC.

 

It stands for Believe That You Can.

 

Even if something (anything) is hard, or boring or whatever, if you keep saying BTYC sometimes the end result is better than you thought it would be. (This method also actually prevents negative words filling your head when you go BTYC BTYC BTYC over and over)

 

I was not a disciplined student, ever. But things change as you go along, and everyone evolves over time.....I never scored high enough at school to get into the course I wanted to do, but after one year of my university liberal arts course (where I did as little study as possible) it was remarkably easy to change courses, they didn't require high marks for an interfaculty transfer..... so I got into the law faculty where I had always wanted to be, and I eventually became a lawyer. And now I am a crazed Mika fan. No longer a lawyer. And way happier:roftl: True story.

Edit: And I flunked MATHS.

 

I have a son who never studies. Drives me insane, but in the end, I know he will find what he is happiest doing. I believe my job as his mum is to make him resilient. So he can roll with the punches, find out who he is, believe in himself.

 

Sorry this post isn't meant to sound preachy...

 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken 1916)

[tauruslady]

WOW!! First of all I want to say...You are not alone!!

Maths is the one subject which I am absolutely terrible at! I really can't figure it at all.

And, like you I have to repeat maths this year or I won't get into college.

It's sickening, because I have apparantly a good Leaving Certificate exam, and would be accepted at a nice amount of places, but Maths is my one barrier.

I HATE it!! so much words aren't enough.

Creative people (I assume your creative) are generally bad at maths, and it is so cruel to be left out of things just because of that one subject.

 

I completely empathise with you.

[foalbaby14]

Awwww! dont worry you arent alone i am awful at math also. i have a huge test tommrow in algebra 2 that counts for 25% of my grade and to be honest i have a 67% in the class i have to get an 80% or higher to atleast get a C in the class. i also am stuck in this class thats for people who do poorly on this state wide test and when i retook it this year i passed, so i was like yes i get out of this BORING class, but no i went to my counsler and she said nope you have to stay, even though i passed the test!!!! im so angry. so these stories are to tell you that you are not alone.

[tauruslady]

We should all start a maths haters club!!!!

How great would that be!? Numbers would be our enemy!:bleh:

[foalbaby14]

We should all start a maths haters club!!!!

How great would that be!? Numbers would be our enemy!:bleh:

 

Ha Ha!!! that would be an awsome idea lol!!!!

[tauruslady]

I was not a disciplined student, ever. But things change as you go along, and everyone evolves over time.....I never scored high enough at school to get into the course I wanted to do, but after one year of my university liberal arts course (where I did as little study as possible) it was remarkably easy to change courses, they didn't require high marks for an interfaculty transfer..... so I got into the law faculty where I had always wanted to be, and I eventually became a lawyer. And now I am a crazed Mika fan. No longer a lawyer. And way happier:roftl: True story.

Edit: And I flunked MATHS.

 

I have a son who never studies. Drives me insane, but in the end, I know he will find what he is happiest doing. I believe my job as his mum is to make him resilient. So he can roll with the punches, find out who he is, believe in himself.

 

 

Sorry this post isn't meant to sound preachy...

 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken 1916)

 

I Love your story!!!

And I also love that Robert Frost poem!

[tauruslady]

Ha Ha!!! that would be an awsome idea lol!!!!

Wouldn't it?! I really think there should be one here on the mfc!

[CartoonKellyGreen]

I know what your going through...its so hard...I'm in all honors surronded by freakin morons who belive that the only way they can accomplish anything in their lives is by obtaining a near perfect average and going to some yuppie college...

 

 

 

Please...

 

 

Don't worry, I guess all will work out right in the end...the system is a freakin witch it reallt is...

 

Your trying to get into N.Y.U right...tough school man, now that they're pushing for IVY League...not to mention the cost of living HAHAHA

[mandilambi]

Graduating in the National Honor Society is a pretty big thing in itself. It's nothing to bump down and mark it as 'good but not good enough.' It was a big deal for me since a teacher had to nominate you for it. You didn't just get in for good grades someone actually had to nominate you which I found odd that it works that way. Also being able to be around the 28th person to graduate out of a class close to 200 was a big thing. Then my college during my freshman year decided to set up the Sigma Alpha Pi National Honor Society of Leadership & Success and I along with a couple of friends were invited to be apart of the first group to join it and that was pretty big too. You get to wear something special at graduation and I'm not sure what else. I'm sad that I won't get to wear it as I'm not graduating from this college because I am leaving for a top photography college after this semester where I'm sure they don't have a society like that. Even though I don't get to be recognized as a member when I do graduate next year I'll still be proud because I know I am one. Even though graduating with an honors diploma is different the NHS is still far up there, not everyone gets into it. It still looks just as great on applications because it shows that you did the work and you are dedicated.

 

One thing that I tell people though is that people coming from high school into college find the grading differently. My friend spazzed out because he was ALWAYS an A student during high school and it changed in college because of the grading. Where I go the homework is worth a lot more than tests but I'm sure each college will be different.[/QUOTE]

 

I've seen people react the same way. It's as if college is a complete shock to them because the standards are so much higher. I don't get that at all.

[BonjourMika1990]

You guys always know how to make me feel better...

I love that robert frost poem by the way:wink2:

 

and I think I'm starting to realize that this is only one part of my life...that highschool doesn't really matter half as much as they make it seem The most important thing is getting into a good school...for me that's NYU. I want it to happen, but if it doesn't this year: next year:thumb_yello:

 

 

Thanks to all of you! *kisses*