For loss or grief

[chinkalicious1]

I know this is not the happiest of topics but I was hoping to find comfort and support? Maybe that's selfish and silly of me, and I'm sorry if this is the case.

 

So I haven't started anything since I first arrived here, but I'm having one of those weeks filled with emotion and an odd ominous feeling. And I'm sitting here in my bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night, when I have class in a few hours, thinking about things past and finding it harder and harder to fall asleep.

 

I guess this is for anyone who has lost something or someone, because sometimes we just can't help but to remember.

 

So I guess I'll try and start...

Most of the time I feel silly because the one thing I miss most is my late pet dog.. and I guess it's nothing compared to other losses, but I guess sometimes I just can't handle knowing that I will never see him again.

[heineken22]

this was a good idea.

i've had a certain loss of mine on the mind as of late..

 

almost 3 years ago, my cousin died from leukemia, and he was only 18.

it was horrible, because he had had it for 6 years, and it had gone away just a year or so before......but, it came back, and it ended up taking him early.

 

despite the saddness, i know he's in a better place, and i'm thankful for that, because if he was still here, he'd have to be in pain, and live with his drunken mother and crazy siblings.

also, my religion believes that families can be sealed together forever, and the fact that i will be able to see him again really helps comfort me.

[elanorelle]

I am here with you....

 

if I was there I would pray with you and give you a hug.

 

 

so ,,,,I am here for you guys....I empathize with you....

I send you feelings of comfort....

 

love Suzanne

 

God Bless:wub2:

 

Mine is a loss of a friend. She disappeared and never was seen again. She and I had a very special friendship . The last time I saw her I said something that might have scared her..and that was in 1995. I feel lost without her and I look for her every day for 12 years.

[Haley & Megan Meyer]

I know this is not the happiest of topics but I was hoping to find comfort and support? Maybe that's selfish and silly of me, and I'm sorry if this is the case.

 

So I haven't started anything since I first arrived here, but I'm having one of those weeks filled with emotion and an odd ominous feeling. And I'm sitting here in my bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night, when I have class in a few hours, thinking about things past and finding it harder and harder to fall asleep.

 

I guess this is for anyone who has lost something or someone, because sometimes we just can't help but to remember.

 

So I guess I'll try and start...

Most of the time I feel silly because the one thing I miss most is my late pet dog.. and I guess it's nothing compared to other losses, but I guess sometimes I just can't handle knowing that I will never see him again.

 

 

 

It's okay to feel these emotions. A few years back our dog of 15 years died. We had gotten a new pup so we had two dogs at the time. Our older dog died and our new pup was in shock. It had to deal with a car on the road, as you can tell we don't like to discuss it because it brings back sad memories. We had that dog for 15 years and it was hard to let go. I mean me and my sister are 21 so we had him for most of our lives. We were lucky though that our new pup wasn't hurt badly. We're lucky to still have him. We know it is hard to lose someone and it is very difficult to cope sometimes.

 

Love Love

The Meyer Twins

[Mag]

I think it is a good idea for a thread, as we all most probably experienced loss of someone.

I think it is a good think to go through the sad phase at our own pace and just let the feeling sink in and then let go. I guess it is really difficult nowadays to face the difficult times as we live in hectic times. And there is not enough time we can spend with ourselves to heal the pain.

I can understand your feelings, been there, too. I am sending you a big hug. You will get through this:thumb_yello:

[nico_collard]

Loss is something we all have to deal with, and whether it's a pet, someone very close to us, or someone we've heard of, I think it's the same...

 

2 of my grandparents, my great grandmother, my friend's father, a few uncles and people I went to school with have died within 8 years (most from cancer), and although the pain never fully goes away, you learn to deal with it in your own time...

[hmitts]

I will keep all of you in my thoughts.

[Hi Mika]

Grief is such a strange emotion, really, it comes up when you least expect it to. The important thing to remember is that it's ok to feel it, and it's better to feel it and work thru it and get to the other side because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

For all you that think about suicide, and I've been there myself, don't ever think that your not an important part of the human race because you very much are!

[babspanky]

I know this is not the happiest of topics but I was hoping to find comfort and support? Maybe that's selfish and silly of me, and I'm sorry if this is the case.

 

So I haven't started anything since I first arrived here, but I'm having one of those weeks filled with emotion and an odd ominous feeling. And I'm sitting here in my bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night, when I have class in a few hours, thinking about things past and finding it harder and harder to fall asleep.

 

I guess this is for anyone who has lost something or someone, because sometimes we just can't help but to remember.

 

So I guess I'll try and start...

Most of the time I feel silly because the one thing I miss most is my late pet dog.. and I guess it's nothing compared to other losses, but I guess sometimes I just can't handle knowing that I will never see him again.

 

 

I can't talk much right now, I am at work, but just to say, this isn't silly at all, I lost a pet last year, and I know Martine lost her dog too and others, and it hits you hard. There are a lot of pet lovers on here.

It's not selfish either, that's what we are here for, not just to talk about that Mika guy.

I'll come on this thread later when I finish work to see how you are getting on.

 

One thing I will say though, is that I bet your dog had a happy life living with you, as you seem to love him so much. Just hold on to that, it will give you some comfort.

 

bab x

[mikaluvr]

Hmitts - It is sad how sometimes we need to talk about things that are hurting us but no one wants to listen to that kind of stuff. Of course no one wants to spend time down in the dumps, but sometimes you need help getting out.

I'm glad you have a great stepmother now. That would be really hard to have a mother treat you horribly. It sounds like you are dealing well with that.

 

 

Chinkalicious -

That is definitely not weird that you miss your dog. Pets are so unconditionally loving and there for you. There's just nothing like them and we become so attached. Like Hilary, I also believe you will see your loved ones again. I even think dogs will be there when we die.

[mandilambi]

I know this is not the happiest of topics but I was hoping to find comfort and support? Maybe that's selfish and silly of me, and I'm sorry if this is the case.

 

So I haven't started anything since I first arrived here, but I'm having one of those weeks filled with emotion and an odd ominous feeling. And I'm sitting here in my bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night, when I have class in a few hours, thinking about things past and finding it harder and harder to fall asleep.

 

I guess this is for anyone who has lost something or someone, because sometimes we just can't help but to remember.

 

So I guess I'll try and start...

Most of the time I feel silly because the one thing I miss most is my late pet dog.. and I guess it's nothing compared to other losses, but I guess sometimes I just can't handle knowing that I will never see him again.

 

Aw, I am sorry for your loss. I believe losing a pet is the same as losing a family member. *hugs*

[Candboys]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. The death of a pet is as real as the death of a parent or another loved one. Believe me, I know. Our family had a dog and she died 3 days short of 13. The kids had known her their whole life and it was really hard. It took us a year and a half before we were ready to have another dog. Hugs to you.

[pinkunicorn123]

I know alot about loss having been to 23 funerals over the past few years.

I went through a period of thinking that these people died because of me, i know now that it isnt true, but i cant say it does not effect how closely i choose to interact with my friends and family.

Last year a long term friend who was suffering from cancer died. He was 18.

We spent alot of time together because i was always at the hospital for my own medical reasons as well as to see him.

One day when i visited he was in bed typing away on his laptop, i plonked myself down on the ended of the bed and asked him what he was up to. His response was that he was writing goodbye letters to the people he cared about most of all. I laughed and asked if i was on his list of most cared for, he said ofcourse, i was number one, and we never mentioned it again - i thought he was joking.

A few months later after he moved to a different hospital for treatment, this came in the mail.

Im sharing it with you because i think that maybe it might help you out of the black mood you are in - ive been there many times so i know what its like.

I hope this helps:

 

Hey Holly,

 

If you have been given this, then I want to tell you I am so sorry. I know you would tell me that what happened wasn’t my fault; but I guess I’m not the fighter that we thought I was. I wanted to make sure that everyone got a final goodbye, and they know how much they have done for me – you in particular. Holly you have always been there for me, in my best moments and in my worst. I don’t think anyone has ever cared for me as much as you have, and I will miss you so much.

I want you to know that I’m not scared anymore, I know what is going to happen will soon, and I hope you know that I am not afraid. You have taught me to live my last few weeks to the full, and shown me more that I could imagine and I know I wouldn’t have appreciated my time all as much as I have if it wasn’t for you.

I love you. I never got that chance to say that because I was afraid of those feelings, and I didn’t want to hurt you. But I do Holly, I love you, I always have, and I always will. Whenever you feel down, whenever you are upset, or stressed, or in need of a little comfort, I want you to know that I will be there, I will be holding your hand through it all even if you cant see or feel me, and I hope that I can guide you as must has you have me.

Holly there is so much to say and I just can’t find the words to express what you mean to me, and how I wont ever forget our moments together; like that time when you walked with me through the fields before the harvest and we made snow angels out of the wheat or when we rode the lift up to level 11 and you showed me the stars.

I think that’s what I will remember the most, that even when things were bad, when they seemed ugly or unfair, I could always count on you to be optimistic and show me the beauty in everything, and most importantly; in myself.

I want you to promise here and now that you won’t stay upset about my passing for too long, and I want you to promise me that you will embrace every opportunity that comes your way and not give up. You have a lot to offer Holly, both to yourself and to those that you come into contact with. A little goes a long way, if you can help somebody like me by simply being yourself – imagine what you can achieve with minimal effort and determination. I’m not saying you can change the world, but you can change the worlds of others around you in a positive way. I know that may seam difficult to believe sometimes, but if you can just let what I have written in – I know that you will understand. It doesn’t matter what I say, I could say that you are the world and it would only be ink on paper until you believe it. So believe Holly. Life is an adventure, and it sure as hell isn’t easy but if you keep your mind open and take what it fires in your direction into your stride, you can be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and reach any goal you set with such conviction that you will wonder why you ever doubted it.

 

x

 

Tom

[chinkalicious1]

I know alot about loss having been to 23 funerals over the past few years.

I went through a period of thinking that these people died because of me, i know now that it isnt true, but i cant say it does not effect how closely i choose to interact with my friends and family.

Last year a long term friend who was suffering from cancer died. He was 18.

We spent alot of time together because i was always at the hospital for my own medical reasons as well as to see him.

One day when i visited he was in bed typing away on his laptop, i plonked myself down on the ended of the bed and asked him what he was up to. His response was that he was writing goodbye letters to the people he cared about most of all. I laughed and asked if i was on his list of most cared for, he said ofcourse, i was number one, and we never mentioned it again - i thought he was joking.

A few months later after he moved to a different hospital for treatment, this came in the mail.

Im sharing it with you because i think that maybe it might help you out of the black mood you are in - ive been there many times so i know what its like.

I hope this helps:

 

Hey Holly,

 

If you have been given this, then I want to tell you I am so sorry. I know you would tell me that what happened wasn’t my fault; but I guess I’m not the fighter that we thought I was. I wanted to make sure that everyone got a final goodbye, and they know how much they have done for me – you in particular. Holly you have always been there for me, in my best moments and in my worst. I don’t think anyone has ever cared for me as much as you have, and I will miss you so much.

I want you to know that I’m not scared anymore, I know what is going to happen will soon, and I hope you know that I am not afraid. You have taught me to live my last few weeks to the full, and shown me more that I could imagine and I know I wouldn’t have appreciated my time all as much as I have if it wasn’t for you.

I love you. I never got that chance to say that because I was afraid of those feelings, and I didn’t want to hurt you. But I do Holly, I love you, I always have, and I always will. Whenever you feel down, whenever you are upset, or stressed, or in need of a little comfort, I want you to know that I will be there, I will be holding your hand through it all even if you cant see or feel me, and I hope that I can guide you as must has you have me.

Holly there is so much to say and I just can’t find the words to express what you mean to me, and how I wont ever forget our moments together; like that time when you walked with me through the fields before the harvest and we made snow angels out of the wheat or when we rode the lift up to level 11 and you showed me the stars.

I think that’s what I will remember the most, that even when things were bad, when they seemed ugly or unfair, I could always count on you to be optimistic and show me the beauty in everything, and most importantly; in myself.

I want you to promise here and now that you won’t stay upset about my passing for too long, and I want you to promise me that you will embrace every opportunity that comes your way and not give up. You have a lot to offer Holly, both to yourself and to those that you come into contact with. A little goes a long way, if you can help somebody like me by simply being yourself – imagine what you can achieve with minimal effort and determination. I’m not saying you can change the world, but you can change the worlds of others around you in a positive way. I know that may seam difficult to believe sometimes, but if you can just let what I have written in – I know that you will understand. It doesn’t matter what I say, I could say that you are the world and it would only be ink on paper until you believe it. So believe Holly. Life is an adventure, and it sure as hell isn’t easy but if you keep your mind open and take what it fires in your direction into your stride, you can be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and reach any goal you set with such conviction that you will wonder why you ever doubted it.

 

x

 

Tom

 

that is honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

[chinkalicious1]

I'm feeling better than I was last night and I'm glad people have been writing. It's really helped! I know there are so many times when something like grief and sadness are on your mind, and it's somehow harder than anything else to share with your peers. For me, and the way I was raised, I'm very private with my emotions and I don't enjoy feeling vulnerable in front of people. Because of this, I'm so glad to be able to have this, to be able to help myself and others to understand such overwhelming emotion with the safety of some sort of barrier.

 

I guess I think about him, Gizmo, my dog, and he reminds me of the fragility of life. He reminds me that everything I have and everything I do is only worth what I make of it. It's almost been one year since he passed, and I guess being at school away from home helped some, but so often I am just overloaded and I just shut down in response. I think about him so much, about his smile and his little snaggle tooth, the smell of his fur, the way he used to burrow under the covers, the warmth of his body against mine, the excitement and welcome he gave whenever I came home from school. And I guess I never thought that enthusiasm and warmth would ever go cold, and I never thought that I could love something so much, and suddenly not have it around anymore. I felt nothing but guilt after he died. We got two new puppies and I love them, but it took me so long before I could let them wear his clothing, or let them play with his toys, and most of the time I'm okay, but sometimes I remember and I feel so guilty for loving them...

 

I guess I'm trying to be as eloquent as I can but I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. I think it's probably fair for me to say that I'm afraid of love in many forms. I'm so afraid of loss that I tend to avoid love, but because I avoid it so much, I want it so desperately. I am so ambivalent... I'm sorry I've started to rant... but I just want to thank everyone for being, and I say how much I appreciate you all.

[chinkalicious1]

I'm losing my grandmother as we speak and there is nothing i can do about it...

[Finkster]

I'm really sorry about your dog.

I've had my cat since I was in kindergarten..that's twelve years now! And we got her when she was about one, so she's thirteen. She's getting old and I know it's only a matter of time before she goes...but even typing this makes me all teary eyed. I don't want to think of that day..

 

And I'm really sorry about your grandmother. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[chinkalicious1]

I'm really sorry about your dog.

I've had my cat since I was in kindergarten..that's twelve years now! And we got her when she was about one, so she's thirteen. She's getting old and I know it's only a matter of time before she goes...but even typing this makes me all teary eyed. I don't want to think of that day..

 

And I'm really sorry about your grandmother. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

 

that is so incredibly sweet of you. thank you.

[Finkster]

that is so incredibly sweet of you. thank you.

 

It's the least I can do.

[Mici]

I lost my father 5 years ago, he was very ill with heart problams & diabetes.

It was really hard watching him struggling to live few months before he passed away.

Being daddy's girl i was shattered to pieces and it's still hard for me not to have him around and it's really hard to recover from such a hard lose.

People constantly say time heals the pain, it maybe heals it only a bit but not completly.

[Hi Mika]

I'm feeling better than I was last night and I'm glad people have been writing. It's really helped! I know there are so many times when something like grief and sadness are on your mind, and it's somehow harder than anything else to share with your peers. For me, and the way I was raised, I'm very private with my emotions and I don't enjoy feeling vulnerable in front of people. Because of this, I'm so glad to be able to have this, to be able to help myself and others to understand such overwhelming emotion with the safety of some sort of barrier.

 

I guess I think about him, Gizmo, my dog, and he reminds me of the fragility of life. He reminds me that everything I have and everything I do is only worth what I make of it. It's almost been one year since he passed, and I guess being at school away from home helped some, but so often I am just overloaded and I just shut down in response. I think about him so much, about his smile and his little snaggle tooth, the smell of his fur, the way he used to burrow under the covers, the warmth of his body against mine, the excitement and welcome he gave whenever I came home from school. And I guess I never thought that enthusiasm and warmth would ever go cold, and I never thought that I could love something so much, and suddenly not have it around anymore. I felt nothing but guilt after he died. We got two new puppies and I love them, but it took me so long before I could let them wear his clothing, or let them play with his toys, and most of the time I'm okay, but sometimes I remember and I feel so guilty for loving them...

 

I guess I'm trying to be as eloquent as I can but I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. I think it's probably fair for me to say that I'm afraid of love in many forms. I'm so afraid of loss that I tend to avoid love, but because I avoid it so much, I want it so desperately. I am so ambivalent... I'm sorry I've started to rant... but I just want to thank everyone for being, and I say how much I appreciate you all.

 

There are many emotions when a person grieves. You loved your dog though and remembering your dog with the happy memories you have and sharing them with your new puppies, your adding love and dogs can only love in return. Don't be afraid..