FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Interesting thread ..mmmm Ok so Im not bothered one bit about being a long established member , some of us were very fortunate to be in from the start or here for a long time .Now that does lead to certain "advantages" if thats the right word , friendships have been formed over the last 18 months , both within the forum and outside of it.Also many of us have read nearly every post from day one , followed Mika for so long that we know a fair bit. As for newbies I must admit its so easy to ignore a newbie , they can get lost (in the nicest sense) in the medly of friendships , expertise and everything else that goes with the MFC.Saying that everyone should have a valid point if view , but it is true that people will tend to quote and work with the people in here that are more established. The key really here is real life , once you meet people totaly different perceptions exist and I suppose that is tough for a newbie where they come in new to this community. As already stated , take a real life example , imagine a "club" where newbies pushed in very forward and really started to state their opinion .. would be kinda awkward. I think if a newbie had a really valid point of view you would see everyone talking about that , also I look to the introduction thread and happy Birthday threads and see many of the older (in terms of length here) congratulating and welcoming. Thats my snap shot , I havent read the thread inside out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Interesting thread ..mmmm Ok so Im not bothered one bit about being a long established member , some of us were very fortunate to be in from the start or here for a long time .Now that does lead to certain "advantages" if thats the right word , friendships have been formed over the last 18 months , both within the forum and outside of it.Also many of us have read nearly every post from day one , followed Mika for so long that we know a fair bit. As for newbies I must admit its so easy to ignore a newbie , they can get lost (in the nicest sense) in the medly of friendships , expertise and everything else that goes with the MFC.Saying that everyone should have a valid point if view , but it is true that people will tend to quote and work with the people in here that are more established. The key really here is real life , once you meet people totaly different perceptions exist and I suppose that is tough for a newbie where they come in new to this community. As already stated , take a real life example , imagine a "club" where newbies pushed in very forward and really started to state their opinion .. would be kinda awkward. I think if a newbie had a really valid point of view you would see everyone talking about that , also I look to the introduction thread and happy Birthday threads and see many of the older (in terms of length here) congratulating and welcoming. Thats my snap shot , I havent read the thread inside out. Right said Fred:naughty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Right said Fred:naughty: Theres a song there some where Another comment .. maybe an older member struggles to find a thread or home now to talk in , some of the more popular threads are newbie threads for want of a better word.... Works both ways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soaring Simpson Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Not only do members congratulate people announcing themselves, before I was activated (quite a while) Dilek must have seen my name often on the logged in/ homepage list and PMd me to say hi. That made an impression! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Theres a song there some where Another comment .. maybe an older member struggles to find a thread or home now to talk in , some of the more popular threads are newbie threads for want of a better word.... Works both ways Right said Fred is just soooo wrong:roftl:I'm too sexy is one of the wrongest songs ever! Hey yeah, that can be true too. I have to many threads that I consider as home:roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Can I just say that as an older member, I can feel quite initmidated by newbies criticising what we say, how we say it, even what we know. I sometimes almost feel that I have to apologise for being a long term member, knowing a lot if in jokes and things that have happened in the past, for having contributed to this forum for over a year both by posting and financially. Oh and having been to a few gigs too. Sorry. Sorry about all of that. I know a fair few people who were here at the start or near the start that don't post much anymore due to this. It works both ways you know. Again, same here. Sometimes it does feel like we should be ashamed of having spent a certain amount of time here, or going to gigs, or meeting other MFC'ers -hence developing personal friendships that will obviously spill onto the board, or financing MFC before Mika bought it, etc, etc... People seem to be forgetting that this is just a bunch of people thrown in together with a common interest. No more, no less. This means that some of us will establish amazing friendships, others will hate eachother, and others will just toletare eachother. The key is for everyone to be civil, respectful, and using that lovely (and so often forgotten concept it seems ) of common sense. Yes, we should all be nice to eachother and accommodate new members, etc, etc, that goes without saying. However new members also need to realise that when they come in and ask a question, it may be the first time that they query that, but we may have heard that question "a million" times (figuratively speaking o.c.) Questions that have been posed a million times have been reflected in the infamous FAQ's, that took a number of members a big effort and many hours of work. You may want to also ask yourselves: what was in it for the members who helped out making them? They did it so that newer members would have an easier and nicer experience here, which would reflect on a nicer forum for everyone. Is it really a lot to ask for from new members, that they take some time to get a feel for the place before they start jumping to conclusions or into wild arguments about things that they just haven't taken the time to look into? Of course I'm not condoning snarky remarks at newbies when they ask, but I have yet to find the situation where a newbie has asked something nicely, having acted in a normal, respectful way, and gotten a snarky reply. Heck, usually it's the other way round: some people join, start making threads either offending or attacking or being totally over the top demanding attention ("why is nobody replying to me?? Why do you all ignore me??") and other members are extremely patient dealing with them. I will use my own newbie example. When I joined, I had been lurking for a while before I actually registered, as I had never been part of either a fanclub or an online forum, and was a bit apprehensive about things like privacy, hacking, etc. Little did I know that I would soon relax so much about all these things, LOL!! Anyway, the point here is that, once I registered, I didn’t even dare open a new thread for anything, and avoided doing so for a while, always thinking that maybe what I was going to say was silly, or not relevant, or ultimately, may have been ok to say but just not necessarily on a thread of its own. Heck, I even wondered if I was ALLOWED to open new threads (besides the typical “hi, it’s me, I’m new” ones) ! The important part of this is that the way I felt had nothing to do with how others (older) members received me. It was all about MY perception of the world, and how I personally approach things. Those of you who have met me in RL know that I am not exactly the shy, quiet type of person, but when I first joined MFC I acted that way a bit. And I think that it’s just because “that is what you do” when you enter a new group of people in any situation in life, and you need to adapt to how they do things and to what they are like. You just look around, try to get a feel for people, behaviours, customs, and then you get stuck in at your own pace, but taking the time to adapt to the new environment and for the others to get to know and adapt to you. Of course when I first started posting in threads my comments would not always be picked up by others and responded to. Heck, that still happens these days. But that doesn’t mean that people are being horrible to me, or ignoring me, or that they secretly hate me. It just means that they either don’t have anything to say to me, or to comment on what I said. It really is as simple as that, but it looks to me like so many take these simple facts and turn them into an “I am being bullied” situation (I say this because we have had this sort of argument made in the past),which is IMO totally ridiculous. Like many have said many times MFC is like any other real life situation, hence the same rules of “normality”, common sense, socially accepted behaviours, etc, apply. If you add to this the fact that many people have met and become friends in RL, and that some of us chat every day, well…obviously we will get on more than say another member that we have never spoken to. And this will make one have either less to say to them, unless a certain topic is being discussed, or just affect the dynamics of a particular thread in a certain way. But this is how the real world works! I guess that what I find so hard to understand is that people go on about the “pecking order” or the “first class MFC’ers” and that sort of talk, when all it comes down to is how real human interaction within a social group works. The longer one is part of a certain community, the more they will be “in” it so to speak, and the more they will know the other members and the injokes, etc, etc… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Well hopefully the "No Question Too Dumb" thread will help, though I dare say it'll be merged with an older one because it's hardly an original idea So I guessing the thread you posted with the troll question was the one ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Most of the mods, for instance, joined a good bit after I did. Yet I've never had a conversation with Christine where her later joining date was an issue. That could be due to the fact that I joined 3 days before you. Well hopefully the "No Question Too Dumb" thread will help, though I dare say it'll be merged with an older one because it's hardly an original idea I don't think there's any reason to merge it as I don't recall a thread like that being active recently. I don't mind answering newbie questions with a straight face so I will help out. When I joined, I had been lurking for a while before I actually registered, as I had never been part of either a fanclub or an online forum, and was a bit apprehensive about things like privacy, hacking, etc. Little did I know that I would soon relax so much about all these things, LOL!! Oh I'd say you've gone far beyond "relaxed" on those issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mika4Life13 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 *pushes cat off of lap* I just have one thing to say : Just because it is the intenet, and yes t'is a cruel, harsh world and all that jazz, doesn't mean you don't have to be nice to other people, or not kindly acknowledge their very existance on a FAN CLUB. Being nice, whether in reality or on the internet, makes things run smoother. We don't have to "hold their hands" (And i kindly suggest not trying to do hold my hand though i am a younger member, I may be a younge impressionable teenager, I'm not a f*cking toddler IMO) but be kind and rewind ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Oh I'd say you've gone far beyond "relaxed" on those issues. Hey, what are you trying to imply here missy, that I chat too much? *pushes cat off of lap* I just have one thing to say : Just because it is the intenet, and yes t'is a cruel, harsh world and all that jazz, doesn't mean you don't have to be nice to other people, or not kindly acknowledge their very existance on a FAN CLUB. Being nice, whether in reality or on the internet, makes things run smoother. We don't have to "hold their hands" (And i kindly suggest not trying to do hold my hand though i am a younger member, I may be a younge impressionable teenager, I'm not a f*cking toddler IMO) but be kind and rewind ! Yes, I agree that we still have to be nice, of course, and I think that everyone here tries (and mostly succeeds) but one of my implicit points here is that this is a huge fanclub, with thousands of members, hundreds of daily posters, and it would take a full time job of MFC'ing (yes, sounds great, tell me when there is an opening ) to acknowledge every single one of them. Or to do so all the time. That is exactly the problem! If everyone wants to be acknowledged, it won't happen, some people will acknowledge some, others will ack. others, but not everyone will cross-acknowledge if you get my jest...so I would suggest that people don't expect so much and they will not feel so disappointed. Maybe we need to analyse why some feel such a strong need for acknowledgement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Hey, what are you trying to imply here missy, that I chat too much? Yes, I agree that we still have to be nice, of course, and I think that everyone here tries (and mostly succeeds) but one of my implicit points here is that this is a huge fanclub, with thousands of members, hundreds of daily posters, and it would take a full time job of MFC'ing (yes, sounds great, tell me when there is an opening ) to acknowledge every single one of them. Or to do so all the time. That is exactly the problem! If everyone wants to be acknowledged, it won't happen, some people will acknowledge some, others will ack. others, but not everyone will cross-acknowledge if you get my jest...so I would suggest that people don't expect so much and they will not feel so disappointed. Maybe we need to analyse why some feel such a strong need for acknowledgement? People do tend to quote the same people though Sariflor its got to be said , bias whether we like it or not exists.This is based on friendships and time here etc etc. Newbies do tend to get pushed out not intentionally its just the MFC and the size of it.You wouldnt of found this earlier in the history of the MFC , being smaller meant you knew or at least chatted to more diverse people True? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 People do tend to quote the same people though Sariflor its got to be said , bias whether we like it or not exists.This is based on friendships and time here etc etc. Newbies do tend to get pushed out not intentionally its just the MFC and the size of it.You wouldnt of found this earlier in the history of the MFC , being smaller meant you knew or at least chatted to more diverse people True? Well, it's part and parcel of MFC being a reflection or "normal" real life situations. If you know someone and feel comfortable with them, you will fancy a chat. Real friendships have formed and they will reflect on the board. This does not mean that other people are being ignored or mistreated. I don't think that newbies are pushed out, they may just not be quoted directly or whatever, or because someone doesn't know them or their sense of humour, one doesn't know how to take them, and it will take longer for the conversation to get flowing. Like you say, it's due to the size of it. It's now become impossible to read everything, so for example I find myself limiting my MFC time to a few threads, or following a few people around. That's just the way it goes, when time is limited. Also I tend to multiquote a lot, and the reason for it is that I read a thread when there have been already 100's of replies to it,and I cannot possibly reply to every single one of them that caught my eye initially. You should see that, despite the size of my posts, I always have to delete a few quotes off each of them because I accumulate so many people that I want to respond to, and it becomes impossible in the end. You just have to end up dropping a few. On top of that, I keep missing things and there are many posts and comments that I would have loved to quote, or people that I would have loved to chat to, and it just never happened. Or it may happen months later. I still remember a post by chickadee where she asked me a question which I didn't have time to respond to then (it would have been long) and I keep thinking "I need to do that" and still haven't. Months have gone by now and she has probably forgotten all about it, but it shows you how things go. But this is not because I am pushing her out or ignoring her or anything of the sorts. I have the same situation with other people who I have met and have a close relationship with. It's a matter of time, situations and chances ,that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 People do tend to quote the same people though Sariflor its got to be said , bias whether we like it or not exists.This is based on friendships and time here etc etc. Newbies do tend to get pushed out not intentionally its just the MFC and the size of it.You wouldnt of found this earlier in the history of the MFC , being smaller meant you knew or at least chatted to more diverse people True? Yes, that's very true. I don't chat much on MFC to people like Wendi, Kath, Jemmalee, Sarahlou1973, vickylovesmika, oh and so many others, but when I see them at gigs, I am delighted, but on here, we just don't hang out in the same threads. Recently I spent a fabuleux weekend with Jemma, Kath and Abby, and I talk to Jemma and Sarah, several times a week, off the forum. Actually, you too Fred, I don't talk much to you on here either. The MFC has grown. There are groups of friends that have grown along with it and not all interaction takes place here anymore, which gives the forum another different aspect. It is probably more difficult now to be a newbie, than it was when I joined, there are existing friendships, shared knowledge and jokes and so, so many more members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yes, that's very true. I don't chat much on MFC to people like Wendi, Kath, Jemmalee, Sarahlou1973, vickylovesmika, oh and so many others, but when I see them at gigs, I am delighted, but on here, we just don't hang out in the same threads. Recently I spent a fabuleux weekend with Jemma, Kath and Abby, and I talk to Jemma and Sarah, several times a week, off the forum. Actually, you too Fred, I don't talk much to you on here either. The MFC has grown. There are groups of friends that have grown along with it and not all interaction takes place here anymore, which gives the forum another different aspect. It is probably more difficult now to be a newbie, than it was when I joined, there are existing friendships, shared knowledge and jokes and so, so many more members. Are you ignoring me on purpose? Should I report you for bullying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yes, that's very true. I don't chat much on MFC to people like Wendi, Kath, Jemmalee, Sarahlou1973, vickylovesmika, oh and so many others, but when I see them at gigs, I am delighted, but on here, we just don't hang out in the same threads. Recently I spent a fabuleux weekend with Jemma, Kath and Abby, and I talk to Jemma and Sarah, several times a week, off the forum. Actually, you too Fred, I don't talk much to you on here either. The MFC has grown. There are groups of friends that have grown along with it and not all interaction takes place here anymore, which gives the forum another different aspect. It is probably more difficult now to be a newbie, than it was when I joined, there are existing friendships, shared knowledge and jokes and so, so many more members. Just jumping in here without having read the whole thread but I agree Bab. It is something that has crossed my mind, the fact that in RL we get on like a house on fire but on here we rarely cross paths. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Are you ignoring me on purpose? Should I report you for bullying? Haha no. I didn't include you because I was trying to say that I don't talk to some people on here but do away from here. With you, I do both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Just jumping in here without having read the whole thread but I agree Bab. It is something that has crossed my mind, the fact that in RL we get on like a house on fire but on here we rarely cross paths. Very true . Haha no. I didn't include you because I was trying to say that I don't talk to some people on here but do away from here. With you, I do both. I know, I know, just making the point that one can take offence by anything really, if they want to . But you're stuck with me it seems! RL and unRL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soaring Simpson Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for your comments on the No Question Too Dumb thread. I think this thread makes it clear that some people don't appreciate irony. And now for a horrific confession- read if you dare: When I posted the comments about the relative appropriateness of comments on family v comments about private parts, which ignited this whole thread, I was joking (though I admit I got defensive when I saw the response). Grovel, grovel Don't all shoot me at once... oh, go on, then, it's not like there's anything on the telly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 But you're stuck with me it seems! RL and unRL And you're stuck with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Sariflor good point now Ive had time to meditate on it We also come here not only to chat about Mika but its a community so your more likely to talk and spend the time to catch up with people you get on with or your friends which you have developed. True Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for your comments on the No Question Too Dumb thread. I think this thread makes it clear that some people don't appreciate irony. And now for a horrific confession- read if you dare: When I posted the comments about the relative appropriateness of comments on family v comments about private parts, which ignited this whole thread, I was joking (though I admit I got defensive when I saw the response). Grovel, grovel Don't all shoot me at once... oh, go on, then, it's not like there's anything on the telly. In that case welcome! Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sariflor Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for your comments on the No Question Too Dumb thread. I think this thread makes it clear that some people don't appreciate irony. And now for a horrific confession- read if you dare: When I posted the comments about the relative appropriateness of comments on family v comments about private parts, which ignited this whole thread, I was joking (though I admit I got defensive when I saw the response). Grovel, grovel Don't all shoot me at once... oh, go on, then, it's not like there's anything on the telly. In that case welcome! Welcome! Careful with these confessions now- These people are gonna try and recruit you to be an apple now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Careful with these confessions now- These people are gonna try and recruit you to be an apple now Am I that transparent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soaring Simpson Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Careful with these confessions now- These people are gonna try and recruit you to be an apple now You can't catch me like that- I've read the FAQs so know what an apple is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 You can't catch me like that- I've read the FAQs so know what an apple is Redcar .. the boros seaside ..plleaseeeeeeeeeeeee:roftl::roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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