iadoremika Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Father: you like physics, you could go to college to teach that in high school.Daughter: I don't want to teach those idiots! Father: you are one of those idiots. Ahahahaha. This one is awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 What my friend said to me on Facebook: "I gotta fix my computer first. It's really slow right now. Cant watch no porno (joking)" Thing is, I don't know if he wsa joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) Me: Mom, I broke the mug. Mom: WHAT? WE HAVE A COLLECTION OF THOSE!! Me: Well, how many do we have? Mom: Now we have one. Edited December 21, 2009 by iadoremika Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplegrape Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 At the movie thearte last night: Kid: Daddy, that scared me! Dad: That's great hunny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randumb Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Me: Mom, I broke the mug.Mom: WHAT? WE HAVE A COLLECTION OF THOSE!! Me: Well, how many do we have? Mom: Now we have one. :roftl: so much for collection! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 At the movie thearte last night: Kid: Daddy, that scared me! Dad: That's great hunny! Oh we was SO interested. :roftl: so much for collection! I know right? Let me specify it was the TYPE of mug. We have pleanty mugs, just not that kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplegrape Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Oh we was SO interested. But that's the funny part! He actually was! he was actually happy his little girl had been scared! aah: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnyangel Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 me and friend were talking about chickens and what they look like, just as our other friend joined us f1: well what are you ment to say when you have a prize rooster? me: well you can't say wat you're thinking there are other people around? f1: but what if YOU were to say it, coz i duno if you have them? me: ok ok i admit it, (just as f2 walks up to us) i have a big prize c**k f2: you know i knew you weren't a woman... f1 and me: ... HEY! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxxy Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 At the movie thearte last night: Kid: Daddy, that scared me! Dad: That's great hunny! :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowGirl Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 *watching Paloma Faith on Hootenanny* (for the record i love Paloma Faith ) *PF finishes speaking* dad : what was she on about? me : no idea but it's Paloma Faith i love her anyway *long pause* me : she looks like a gerbil when she laughs dad : i wouldn't know what a gerbil laughing looks like... mum : i never saw any of our gerbils laughing.... me : *picturing pet gerbils laughing* i love my family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoeHeartsMikax Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 i got on the bus the other day and this is what i heard theese guys talking about : guy 1 : Yeah and i went in my garden.. and there it was, a sheep! Guy 2 : Dude! i keep telling you it was a poodle! Guy 1 : Yeah well poodle, sheep, same thing really, well anyway i think hes a gay dog. Guy 2 : How do you know that? Guy 1 : Errmm.. had a feeling.. *rings bell* Guy 2 : Man, this aint your stop. Guy 2 : ohhh.... ermm.. i forgot.. I am completey in love with this thread! I will post more later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lala_lollies44 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 My sister just called me, and she was obviously drunk. her: Happy New Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarssssssssssss Thing! me: We still have a few minutes. her: WEEEEEEEEEE!!! me:ummm, you're not driving are you? her: No, I'm staying the night at grandma's house. me: You got drunk with grandma?! her: hahahahahahahaha yessssshhhhhh me:Is she drunk? her: She's from outer space......shhhhhhhhhhh *grandma gets on the phone* I had to pick your sister up from a party, but she's okay. me: How much did she drink? grandma: She only had a wine cooler. me: Oh my gosh... grandma:I know! She's such a lightweight *in the background* "I'm flyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng!!!" *CRASH!* grandma: I gotta go..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaX Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 My sister just called me, and she was obviously drunk.her: Happy New Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarssssssssssss Thing! me: We still have a few minutes. her: WEEEEEEEEEE!!! me:ummm, you're not driving are you? her: No, I'm staying the night at grandma's house. me: You got drunk with grandma?! her: hahahahahahahaha yessssshhhhhh me:Is she drunk? her: She's from outer space......shhhhhhhhhhh *grandma gets on the phone* I had to pick your sister up from a party, but she's okay. me: How much did she drink? grandma: She only had a wine cooler. me: Oh my gosh... grandma:I know! She's such a lightweight *in the background* "I'm flyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng!!!" *CRASH!* grandma: I gotta go..... hahaha oh my Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxxy Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 My sister just called me, and she was obviously drunk.her: Happy New Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarssssssssssss Thing! me: We still have a few minutes. her: WEEEEEEEEEE!!! me:ummm, you're not driving are you? her: No, I'm staying the night at grandma's house. me: You got drunk with grandma?! her: hahahahahahahaha yessssshhhhhh me:Is she drunk? her: She's from outer space......shhhhhhhhhhh *grandma gets on the phone* I had to pick your sister up from a party, but she's okay. me: How much did she drink? grandma: She only had a wine cooler. me: Oh my gosh... grandma:I know! She's such a lightweight *in the background* "I'm flyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng!!!" *CRASH!* grandma: I gotta go..... :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Brother: I got my class picture today!Mom: Okay, let's see who looks the stupidest. My mom's exactly like that. ''Oh, let's check out which guy is the hottest'', ''oh, let's see who's ugly''. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Sarah- I'm so tired, I wish it was nightime so I could sleep Me-the sun doesn't set for like, 8 hours Sarah-(sarcastically) you have magical powers right? can't you make it dark? Me- sorry, my powers take about 8 hours to work. Sarah- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanette! Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 My sister just called me, and she was obviously drunk.her: Happy New Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarssssssssssss Thing! me: We still have a few minutes. her: WEEEEEEEEEE!!! me:ummm, you're not driving are you? her: No, I'm staying the night at grandma's house. me: You got drunk with grandma?! her: hahahahahahahaha yessssshhhhhh me:Is she drunk? her: She's from outer space......shhhhhhhhhhh *grandma gets on the phone* I had to pick your sister up from a party, but she's okay. me: How much did she drink? grandma: She only had a wine cooler. me: Oh my gosh... grandma:I know! She's such a lightweight *in the background* "I'm flyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng!!!" *CRASH!* grandma: I gotta go..... :roftl: Sarah- I'm so tired, I wish it was nightime so I could sleepMe-the sun doesn't set for like, 8 hours Sarah-(sarcastically) you have magical powers right? can't you make it dark? Me- sorry, my powers take about 8 hours to work. Sarah- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lala_lollies44 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 guy 1: Seeya later masturbater! guy 2: Don't you mean alligator? guy 1: Same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevermika Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 girl 1- should I study or take a nap? girl 2- both, Osmosis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iadoremika Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 (edited) Mom: This is boneless chicken breast. Dad: That means it has no bones in it. Edited January 8, 2010 by iadoremika Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randumb Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 brother: Do you know what my favorite Mika song is? Me: What? Brother: Rain. Can you play it? *plays Rain* *mum comes in, starts talking* *mum leaves, song finishes* brother: play it again, I didn't hear it Me: let me play you a diffrent version of Rain *plays Rain live from salders wells london* brother: can you skip to the good part? Me: brother: you know, 'I hate days like this' *skips to chrous* brother: this is boring. *leaves* me: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
England Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I guess its not funny but I heard this today Girl 1: You know that song? Umm, Grace Kelly? Girl 2: Oh yeah, by Mika? Girl1: Yeah. I love that song. Girl 2: Oh my god, I love that song too! Me: I didn't think anyone knew Mika in my class, but that made me happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
England Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Also not funny but I heard some more about Mika today 2 days in a row, I was shocked Me: *headphones in listening to Mika* Girl 1: Mike-a? Girl 2: Oh, I thought it was Mika! Me: *listens to conversation * Girl 1: No, I thought it was Mike-a? Me: Mika?? *shows iPod with Mika * Girl 1: So its Mika? Me: Yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mika4Life13 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 P: You have poop on your fingers. R: BAHAHAHAHA. Me: WTFFFFFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nico_collard Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 This was at the street party in Orange last year... the pipe band were all in their kilts waiting to play... 15 year old boy: Do they celebrate Christmas in Scotland? Other 15 year old boy: I think so... Me: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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