Dear Mika,
I think there’s no chance for me to see you in a few years,so I’m going to write what I wanted to tell you all these years.
I lived in different countries since I was 4,my parents didn’t want me to raise in a dictatory ,so they sent me to different countries like Italy,Morocco,Tunisia,and France.I lived there with family friends,uncles and aunts.it may seem exciting,but I’ve always hated it.I had to learn a new language every 2-3 years,I had to leave my friends and family,and things like that.
Finally,in 2009 I decided to come back to Iran,I just wanted to be with my family and I said:there’s no difference between me and other Persian girls,I can stand the pressure and the limitations too!
But I was wrong,the first big problem was language,I totally forgot how to write or even talk
Persian,then I realized that I’m not sexually straight,after that I found out about my problems with religion,I was treated as a Christian in other countries,but in Iran I realized I’m Moslem,because of my father and the religious rules here.you may think these aren’t serious problems,but don’t forget that I’m living in a country that government kills people because of their religion or sexuality.
These were such big shocks for me, I couldn’t stand the pressure,I couldn’t stand people of other countries calling me terrorist,or listening to what others say about USA’s attack,or just sitting and watching everything here get worse.then I started suffering from Paranoia,it was horrible.after that I refused to talk to anyone,for a month.
Doctors said that we have to go on a vacation,and I have to rest.we went to Paris.one day I went to Virgin Music Store there to buy a book,the store was playing a song called ‘’Relax’’ and I said to myself,’’hey it’s pretty about the situation that I’m in’’,so I bought the album,sat there and listened to your music for 4-5 hours.it was amazing,I wanted to dance,to laugh,to forget all my fears,and these feelings didn’t happen to me for a long time. You taught me to laugh again,to be strong,to deal with my problems,you gave me a new life,you cant even guess what happened to me after discovering you.everytime I get nervous or terrified,I just put my headphones on,and all problems disappear.So thank you,for the new life you gave to me.