I wanna talk to you.

[pinkunicorn123]

*sings* "have I told you lately...how much I luurrrve .. yooou? have I told you there's no-one...abooove...yooou? YOU FILL MY HEART WITH GLADNESS...take away my sadness....EASE MY TROUBLE, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO..."

 

 

 

*sings back out of context to discussion*

'I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

I'm a child, I'm a mother

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

I do not feel ashamed

I'm your health, I'm your dream

I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way'

 

:wink2:

[celesteee]

I'm sorry

 

 

mika music will make a bit more happy..

 

and mfc is always there for you !

 

[CazGirl]

Thank you everyone. I did something last night which i haven't done in a while...

 

played Final Fantasy X

watched Disney's Hercules

watched Mika's Koko Gig and Somerset House Gig

stayed up till 2:30am watching Lee Evans

 

lol xD

 

unfortunately waking up today didn't make it all go away. Obviously it won't...but I'm not quite at the stage yet where things can get better; it's gotta go downhill first and I'm bracing myself. But every single one of your support means so much to me, and I'm glad I have you guys as a rock. You're amazing, I love you, and this is one of the reasons why I'm here. You all care.

[Christine]

I'm sorry you and your family have to go through this Caroline. It must be especially tough feeling like you're in the middle and still a bit in limbo at this point.

 

Obviously you'd be happier if your parents worked it out and stayed together forever, but if they do decide to split it sounds like it would at least be a fairly amicable situation. Hopefully all of you can avoid the bitterness and anger that makes some divorces so much worse than others.

 

This stage could never be an easy time for you but I hope in the not-too-distant future you've got two happy parents and it turns out for the best.

 

I also hope you get a chance to talk to your older sisters since they've been through this before and know how you must be feeling.

 

And like Pink says, just go out and have fun and try to forget about it even for a few hours at a time. You're allowed to be miserable, but you're allowed to be happy too, so don't feel guilty about carrying on with your life.

 

*Hugs to you and your dad (and mom!)*

[Blue Sky]

Relationships are tough.

 

People think it is better for the kids if they stay together, but this is not always true. There must be a lot of people here on MFC who have experienced all sides of this.

 

What Pink says is pretty true, you cannot change anyone but yourself. And I think it can also be hard being the confidante of either of your parents. They need to use someone professional or their own friends to confide in, otherwise you will get too involved in working out what is essentially THEIR relationship, not yours, and might feel like they are pressuring you to take sides. You can have a good relationship with each of them independently of how they relate to each other.

 

And don't put it all down to the change of life, either. Women see the world differently from men, anyway, regardless of their age. It can be really hard for the poor men to fathom us. It can be hard for poor us to fathom us.

 

But it is hard to be the child in the midst of this. Hugs from me.

[Anouk]

I'm so sorry for you....

Even if it doesn't help you that much, I know that it's a nice feeling that people think of you... I haven't ben in the sanme situations but there are other things that made me realize how important your friends really are.... And that every single comment to wish you strength and better times can really make a difference, even if it's only words we can give....

I wish you all the best and I hope that things will get better, it sounds so strange and useless now, but I think of you and I |REALLY hope you'll feel better soon. Be strong!

[ThatRadFreak]

Well if it helps, you can definitly survive with only one parent, my parents divorced just before i was 2, but maybe it was easier for me becuase my dad was a -insert whatever mean word you want- and you obviously love both your parents, but if they havent been happy for a long time with each other, then maybe if they did split up, they'd both be a lot happier, and you'd be happier, because some tension or whatever might have lifted, and maybe they find that they're still just as sad apart, so they get back together.

But whatever happens, i hope it works out alright =]

[sariflor]

Oh Caz, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through...

Realistically though, I don't think that there's much that I can say or do which will make things any easier for you; It's one of those situations in which you're alone and just have to deal with it, and get some comfort from others, but ultimately it's you in the thick of it.

I hope that you manage to have some fun times, like others said: go out with your friends, chat to them, do things that you enjoy, and this will take your mind off the issue for at least some time.

I also agree with the fact that, even if you are a great listener, it's probably not the best idea to be too "involved" in the actual problem, and I'd say it's best to leave your parents to sort it out between themselves. I reckon that if you get too involved in it there is a danger that they may inadvertedly use you as a messenger rather than speaking directly, and this could hurt you even more.

And no matter what anyone says about them staying together for you only: remmeber that you are not to blame, they are responsible for their own decisions, and you have had no influence in them.

Nothing that you have done/could have done/ haven't done has anything to do with whatever has happened between them.

You sound like a great daughter, and probably far more understanding about it all than I would have been in the same situation, so please don't pin any of it on yourself:wink2: .

I'm sure that, if anything, you've had a good influence in their situation and relationship,so don't be hard on yourself.

I hope that it all works out for the best, whichever way this is. If they are truly not happy, and now that it's all out in the open, I guess that it would probably make everyone happier if they are not together anymore, so that they can go their separate ways and try and be happy like that.

Even though it seems hard and like the end of the world now, things always end up turning out all right with time.

Time is truly a healer.

I'm sure that you already know this, but it's at difficult times like these where we realise that we are A LOT stronger than we actually thought we were.

Lots of love and be strong:wub2: .

[pinkunicorn123]

Thank you everyone. I did something last night which i haven't done in a while...

 

played Final Fantasy X

watched Disney's Hercules

watched Mika's Koko Gig and Somerset House Gig

stayed up till 2:30am watching Lee Evans

 

lol xD

 

unfortunately waking up today didn't make it all go away. Obviously it won't...but I'm not quite at the stage yet where things can get better; it's gotta go downhill first and I'm bracing myself. But every single one of your support means so much to me, and I'm glad I have you guys as a rock. You're amazing, I love you, and this is one of the reasons why I'm here. You all care.

 

Noooo not final fantisy - well, atleast it wasnt world of warcraft, because then i would be worried.

I was up till 4am watching Peep show Should have joined me.

[CazGirl]

Thanky you everyone so much....I really feel so close to some of you and I feel we bond on a deeper level, and seeing you here making those wonderful comments really does warm me up.

 

I went out today just a few moments ago and just thought about my life...and I've never actually quite realised how f***ed up it is. Not necessarily all MY life, but the things that happened to those I know...and I stopped and thought about how or why I can constantly smile and be happy.

 

I've realised that my life has had more downs then ups but what I've noticed even more is that I've got through it all. Things happen, things change, but we move on. And I don't think it's just WHAT happens that affect us; it's HOW we deal with it and how we come to terms with it if we do. That's what makes us who we are.

 

I've also come to understand that most of my life I have been "smiling and trying to mean it".

 

I am surrounded by great friends...my sisters have said that I can talk to them because we're in the same boat, and it's great to know that they're there (sorry, im welling up again and cant see my screen, apologies for any mistakes lol!)

 

Most of all I wish my parents to be happy, and if that means going their separate ways then so be it. However, like Mika, because of all the depressing things that have happened I've created a happy, cartoon-like world in my head where I constantly live, because it keeps me preoccupied and it kinda feels like the childhood I sometimes feel I missed out on. this is also a gift and a curse; an imagination as wild as mine promotes my creativity because I'm able to draw and write, but it's a curse because it's times like this where I'm snapped out of it and wake up in the real world surrounded by it's many demons, and I just about realise how dark and dismal this world is, how scary it can be, how alone I sometimes feel even though I know I'm not, and a sense of responsibility and decisions having over my head like a blanket that I can't lift up.

 

In my happy world, my parents are together, they love each other, we're absolutely perfect and above all: we're happy. As some of you may have realised, I'm a very optimistic and hopeful person, always trying to find the good that must come out from something bad, trying to find that silver lining but I know I can't live in my world all the time. As happy as it can make me it can't give me eternal happiness, because I need to find that in real world, I need to find that within myself.

 

I am happy with myself, I wouldn't change myself for anyone because I can't be what I'm not, but I wish my life was just a little bit different right now....but I know it will pass. 2007 was such a fantastic year simply because of Mika, and I have a feeling this year is gonna be a little bit sh*t. However, Mika will help me through this. Like the lyrics I posted in my first post, he has a way of explaining things that I know I could not, and his music helps express what I feel.

 

I will try my very best to focus on the things I love; singing, DANCING, acting, DRAWING, WRITING, and above all I will focus on my education. Family life will always be a part of me obviously, but I know I can't make my parent's decisions for them. I may be their daughter but I'm not a part of their relationship, and THEY are the ones who have to grow up and act like adults if they want to sort this out. I'll listen to them, but I can't do anything for them, neither should they expect me to.

 

But I'll be strong because I know I am. Everything in my past has made me who I am today and I'm not going to let this affect me. My parents may need me as a support and rock too, and I can't crumble for not only their sake, but for mine too.

 

The only thing I'm not looking forward to is deciding who I'm going to live with...

[Blue Sky]

Caz, because you are already 18, the decision about who to live with might be easier if you decide to live somewhere else apart from either of your parents, maybe with older sisters or friends or whatever. Then when the dust settles, it might all be a bit clearer about whether you want or need to live with either of your folks.

 

A lot of people move out when they are 18, go off to college, or just want a bit more of their freedom, so its not that unusual.

 

But it might not be what you want to do, or what feels right for you. Just adding it as another option for you.

 

You sound like you have a really good attitude actually in your last post. We humans are actually surprisingly resilient.

[Sarah_loves_mika]

I dont really know what to say, apart from you can always talk to me if you want.

I'm useless at giving advice, but i am a really good listener!

[CazGirl]

Caz, because you are already 18, the decision about who to live with might be easier if you decide to live somewhere else apart from either of your parents, maybe with older sisters or friends or whatever. Then when the dust settles, it might all be a bit clearer about whether you want or need to live with either of your folks.

 

A lot of people move out when they are 18, go off to college, or just want a bit more of their freedom, so its not that unusual.

 

But it might not be what you want to do, or what feels right for you. Just adding it as another option for you.

 

You sound like you have a really good attitude actually in your last post. We humans are actually surprisingly resilient.

 

oh don't get me wrong, I keep sheding my fair share of tears, I'm still coming to terms with it but somehow I've taught myself to think the best, even though I've had nothing but crap going on in my life lol.

 

I have considered about moving out and I have done for a while now because I can't stand it here anymore, but living arrangements here in the UK are so bloody ridiculously expensive so I'd NEED quite a few people to live with. My cousin's parents (my dad's brother) are also about to snap I believe, and my cousin is one of my best friends and we've considered moving in together. However, I have a job and I have college too so I can't move too far away, and neither of us drive, I don't earn enough as I am on minimum wage and we'd have to pay electricity, water, gas, mortgage, furniture, food, clothes on our backs, tax...there's a lot to think about.

 

I wish life was a bit more simple.

[sparkly1]

maybe it wont be so cut and dry as WHO you live with, you may be able to spend equal times with BOTH of them, and that would be nice if you could, (if that is what you wanted), but who knows....maybe they have an agenda of their own or will have by the time it comes to separate houses.

 

People change all through their lives, and their needs change, I think this is why far more marriages break down these days than stay together (in fact its more normal for people to get divorced than stay married if the stats are anything to go by).

It's sad but true that NOTHING last forever even if you want it to and it feels like it's going to, it may still be there but it changes and evolves (hell I'm waffling on now arn't I? I'll shut up lol).

 

Anyway, both your parents will have their reasons for what happened, there are always 2 sides to every coin so they say (well usually) lol...I'll shut up:blush-anim-cl:.

 

apart from I hope you keep your optimism as I think it is a lovely quality to have, yeah it may get dents in it but sod that... don't let the *bleeps* grind you down as they say.

[CazGirl]

maybe it wont be so cut and dry as WHO you live with, you may be able to spend equal times with BOTH of them, and that would be nice if you could, (if that is what you wanted), but who knows....maybe they have an agenda of their own or will have by the time it comes to separate houses.

 

People change all through their lives, and their needs change, I think this is why far more marriages break down these days than stay together (in fact its more normal for people to get divorced than stay married if the stats are anything to go by).

It's sad but true that NOTHING last forever even if you want it to and it feels like it's going to, it may still be there but it changes and evolves (hell I'm waffling on now arn't I? I'll shut up lol).

 

Anyway, both your parents will have their reasons for what happened, there are always 2 sides to every coin so they say (well usually) lol...I'll shut up:blush-anim-cl:.

 

apart from I hope you keep your optimism as I think it is a lovely quality to have, yeah it may get dents in it but sod that... don't let the *bleeps* grind you down as they say.

 

I spent my childhood years watching Disney films. All I've ever wanted in life was to grow up, get married and have a family. It's funny how all I crave is a bit of happiness, when it's an expression I give off mostly

 

er anyway, Sparkly, have I ever told you that your personality goes very well with your user name?

[norwalk174]

That does suck majorly. I guess I'm lucky in a way that my parents got divorced when I didn't even know what it meant not that I liked it in anyway. Everyone deals with it in their own way... not sure what else to say I'm not very good at making people feel better.

[CazGirl]

That does suck majorly. I guess I'm lucky in a way that my parents got divorced when I didn't even know what it meant not that I liked it in anyway. Everyone deals with it in their own way... not sure what else to say I'm not very good at making people feel better.

 

lol, knowing you care is enough =]

[norwalk174]

lol, knowing you care is enough =]

 

Oh good! Then you should be feeling at least a bit better because everyone on here cares about you!

[sparkly1]

I spent my childhood years watching Disney films. All I've ever wanted in life was to grow up, get married and have a family. It's funny how all I crave is a bit of happiness, when it's an expression I give off mostly

 

er anyway, Sparkly, have I ever told you that your personality goes very well with your user name?

 

in my dreams it does (see I'm a dreamer too lol) yeah I am a closet diamond lol inside this hideous shell I am bright sparkly

[CazGirl]

in my dreams it does (see I'm a dreamer too lol) yeah I am a closet diamond lol inside this hideous shell I am bright sparkly

 

I have the ability to see the good in people and the good in most things...and all I see are sparkly things!!

[sparkly1]

I have the ability to see the good in people and the good in most things...and all I see are sparkly things!!

 

awwwww (lets have a mass group hug... feel the luuurrrve.... same here hun, you got a good soul/heart)

[CazGirl]

awwwww (lets have a mass group hug... feel the luuurrrve.... same here hun, you got a good soul/heart)

 

[acyaws]

Okay, im going to take a different approach to this, because having been there and done it, i can tell you that as nice as these comments you are getting are - they arent helpful, and what sucks is that there are very few things which will be. Sad thing is we cant change the things which happen around us, we can try, but we soon realise that there are reasons for everything and that the sooner we accept them, the better.

The only thing you can change, is you!

So, my suggestion is as follows.

Grab all of your girlies together, go out shopping, watch emotional girly movies, cry uncontrollability over the fact that the guy got the girl, eat waaaay too much chocolate and get exceptionally drunk

Do whatever makes you happiest.

Just go out and have a good time, tomorrow is another day, its Friday and the night is still young.

 

And if that fails, then i guess, im going to have to resort to the same kind of comments and say you know where i am if you want me

 

I would have to agree with you on this one. I am myself going through it, but my husband and I are the opposites. He is the one that wont touch me or hug me or even tell me he loves me. I am at a loss at what to do. But the point being, one of these days you will understand and I hope that you never have to go through a loveless marriage with kids involved. You have to think about your mom and dad. If they are not happy, it will never work. Even through counseling majority of the time it don't work.

 

My thoughts are, sit them down with just the three of you. All of you talk it out. Tell them both you are legally an adult, and they need to grow up and be adults too. They need to make the decision and you will be behind them both whatever the outcome. Now is one time in your life you need to be strong. Help them to be friends. Make sure that they know that you will love them no matter what. It's gonna hurt if they do, but it will get better. Trust me.

 

I grew up in a divorced family and my dad raised me. My parents HATED each other and I was miserable. Tell them your fears about them splitting, and tell them the good things about it.

 

I know that I am just rambling, and I am sorry. I hope something made sense. lol....

 

Hugs and hang in there.... it will get better. Think of it as a new adventure in your life!

 

-Angela

 

PS. I was going to post this yesterday, but the forum went down before I could send it....lol

[leonita]

Hello, CazGirl, Pobrecita,

I'm so sorry to hear of your anguish,

aside from the emotional side, the financial/practical can be overwhelming too.

Have you checked into (I don't know they system in the UK) but do they have student loans you can take out? Here they have some that are very cheap, thru the gov't. , others thru private banks. You just have to show proof that you're enrolled in classes full-time. Some are just for tuition/books, others are for all living expenses. I'm working a part time job that barely pays my utilities, it's my student loans that are paying my rent, food, etc.

Eventually I'll have to pay it all back, for me it's SO worth it.

maybe that's an option??

Good luck, honey!

Leona

[sienna]

Oh I’m so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through!

But just like Cystal said it often gets better in the long run.

It’s not good to be a child growing up in a home without love, with two unhappy parents.

 

I don’t know if I understood it right but I really hope your parents have friends of their own to talk to about these difficult things. You are their child even if you are 18 and it is hard to get too much involved. After all you love them both.

 

And oh, your Mika lyric was right on the spot!

 

I hope things are getting better real soon!