The shrink thread Part 2

[sienna]

What is this MGMT-thread about?

I've seen it glimpse by from time to time but never read it!

 

 

 

*wants to look at sleeping boy too*

[southeast]

What is this MGMT-thread about?

I've seen it glimpse by from time to time but never read it!

*wants to look at sleeping boy too*

 

Hehe, another victim *rubs hands*.

 

Nooo, I am joking, the mgmt thread is this one: http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15592&page=84

 

It's just a band I love. Andrew is the lead singer and he's pretty good looking. But the whole band is crazy, their music is psychodelic and they are very much the opposite of Mika (no performers, pretty shy on stage, don't dance or talk at gigs and their definition for the right clothes for a gig is "something that doesn't smell" ). And I am not sure they share Mika's policy for "no alkohol and no drugs backstage". So, you know, I am not sure they are something for Mika fans. What I want to say is, that there sure are other musicians who are "nearer" to Mika than MGMT, like...I dunno, Rufus Wainwright or so, so I don't really expect that you people would like them. But they make beautiful music in their own way... That's all.

[crazyme]

Hehe, another victim *rubs hands*.

 

Nooo, I am joking, the mgmt thread is this one: http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15592&page=84

 

It's just a band I love. Andrew is the lead singer and he's pretty good looking. But the whole band is crazy, their music is psychodelic and they are very much the opposite of Mika (no performers, pretty shy on stage, don't dance or talk at gigs and their definition for the right clothes for a gig is "something that doesn't smell" ). And I am not sure they share Mika's policy for "no alkohol and no drugs backstage". So, you know, I am not sure they are something for Mika fans. What I want to say is, that there sure are other musicians who are "nearer" to Mika than MGMT, like...I dunno, Rufus Wainwright or so, so I don't really expect that you people would like them. But they make beautiful music in their own way... That's all.

 

Oh, is it Andrew who was sleeping? Very cute But we have such a saying in Russian that all people are nice especially when they are sleeping I'm sure they are very talented musicians may be even more talented than Mika But Mika is like a best friend - you can't change your best friend if you met somebody more cute

I hope nobody will put a picture of sleeping Mika (a la Andrew) in Internet...that would be too much for my brain

[southeast]

Bullying and mobbying, misbehaviour at school as well as traumatic experiences and psychological disorders were and are often topics on MFC because of Mika's biography. Surely it is interesting to make research or talk about those topics.

 

But somehow I wanted to take a more positive look on this whole side of his life.

That's what psychologists who are fans of the"positive psychology" try to do - not to concentrate only on the "dark sides" of the human soul but try to find out why some people cope with negative experiences so well and stay normal and stable as adults while others don't. What is the mechanism that may help other children/teens who have the same problems.

 

So I did some research and the keyword seems to be "resilience".

" "Resilience" in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. "

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience#The_role_a_family_has_in_fostering_resilience_in_a_child

 

There are people who have had much worse childhood and teenage years than Mika and still become happy adults and lead a normal life. And he too has managed to overcome his problems at school and his dyslexia and found a way to be happy through music.

 

I also found this guide to resilience for teachers and parents in the American Psychological Association:

 

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx

 

If you read this guide, especially the 10 Tips for building resilience in children and teens

you can notice some strategies that sure helped Mika, like routines or taking him off from school for a while.

 

I find this topic interesting, there are lots of articles on psychological resilience in the press at the moment, so I thought perhaps it would interest you as well since many of the fans here are mothers, teachers or teens themselves.

 

Also I found this weird article about the link btw. psychological resilience and dating success...

http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/the-link-between-psychological-resilience-and-dating-success-2273013.html

[laura*]

Am I the only member who works on Saturdays?

[southeast]

Am I the only member who works on Saturdays?

 

Me too. At home.

[guylainem123]

Am I the only member who works on Saturdays?

 

Me too. At home.

 

not this weekend, but i do when i have too much work.

i'm self employed, so it's hard to say no

 

i probably will have to in the next coming weeks because of the holidays.

everyone waits til the last minute to order their printing products

[Siu]

Am I the only member who works on Saturdays?

 

I'm working!

 

EDIT: I should be working

[laura*]

Me too. At home.

 

I just meant " you were chatting on the shrink thread without me this morning :sneaky2:".

 

 

 

BTW I'm reading your previous post.

[southeast]

not this weekend, but i do when i have too much work.

i'm self employed, so it's hard to say no

 

i probably will have to in the next coming weeks because of the holidays.

everyone waits til the last minute to order their printing products

 

You mean the Christmas holidays?

 

I'm working!

 

EDIT: I should be working

 

 

I just meant " you were chatting on the shrink thread without me this morning :sneaky2:".

 

 

BTW I'm reading your previous post.

 

Just a little bit.

[crazyme]

Am I the only member who works on Saturdays?

 

I already used to work when normal people have weekends or holidays... Today I just came back from work

[guylainem123]

You mean the Christmas holidays?

 

yes, i always have a rush of last minute customers before the holidays

 

it's like that every year

[butterflygal]

Hi:bye:

I just popped in to say I like this thread. Thank you southeast and sil! I usually just read this thread, but the articles about resilience you posted a few posts ago are really interesting (though I haven't read through all of it), so I couldn't help but post and show my appreciation. I've never studied psychology, so the whole concept of resilience is pretty new and fascinating to me.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say hi! Oh, and I sometimes work on weekends too:wink2:

[sienna]

Thanks!

 

*goes to investigate*

[laura*]

I've had a look at the resilience guide for parents and teachers and my first thought was: Mrs P. 1 - Mika's School 0.

She had a hell of a good idea, actually!

[koolj5]

 

Also I found this weird article about the link btw. psychological resilience and dating success...

http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/the-link-between-psychological-resilience-and-dating-success-2273013.html

 

thank you for posting these. the last article describes a couple of nice tools to develop a thicker skin during dating. and after you've mastered them, you can keep using them when dealing with your spouse... (just my guess)

[koolj5]

I've had a look at the resilience guide for parents and teachers and my first thought was: Mrs P. 1 - Mika's School 0.

She had a hell of a good idea, actually!

 

what idea do you mean?

mrs p is actually a hero for me. she managed to raise all her kids as very creative people. i believe that creativity can go away if it isn't nurtured.

 

now i'm trying to figure out how to nurture my kids' creativity while not being able to pay for private school and russian singing teachers...

guess it would help if i sat in front of a sewing machine all day (being creative myself) instead of in front of the computer...

[laura*]

what idea do you mean?

 

I mean that parents sometimes insist even when their kids are really having a hard time and going to school becomes a nightmare. School can be very stressful, especially if the child's brain is not mature enough to cope with the requests. Some students - even older - feel lost and become even more insecure or aggressive when they fail, just because there is too much to learn and too many things to do. Taking your time is the best thing sometimes. (I'm not talking about students who don't work regularly) So I think pulling him out of school and giving him something else to keep him busy, although it may seem a crazy idea at least in my country, was probably the best decision.

 

Quote:

Take a break

While it is important to stick to routines, endlessly worrying can be counter-productive. Teach your child how to focus on something besides what's worrying him. Be aware of what your child is exposed to that can be troubling, whether it be news, the Internet, or overheard conversations, and make sure your child takes a break from those things if they trouble her. Although schools are being held accountable for performance on standardized tests, build in unstructured time during the school day to allow children to be creative.

[RAK1]

Bullying and mobbying, misbehaviour at school as well as traumatic experiences and psychological disorders were and are often topics on MFC because of Mika's biography. Surely it is interesting to make research or talk about those topics.

 

But somehow I wanted to take a more positive look on this whole side of his life.

That's what psychologists who are fans of the"positive psychology" try to do - not to concentrate only on the "dark sides" of the human soul but try to find out why some people cope with negative experiences so well and stay normal and stable as adults while others don't. What is the mechanism that may help other children/teens who have the same problems.

 

So I did some research and the keyword seems to be "resilience".

" "Resilience" in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. "

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience#The_role_a_family_has_in_fostering_resilience_in_a_child

 

There are people who have had much worse childhood and teenage years than Mika and still become happy adults and lead a normal life. And he too has managed to overcome his problems at school and his dyslexia and found a way to be happy through music.

 

I also found this guide to resilience for teachers and parents in the American Psychological Association:

 

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx

 

If you read this guide, especially the 10 Tips for building resilience in children and teens

you can notice some strategies that sure helped Mika, like routines or taking him off from school for a while.

 

I find this topic interesting, there are lots of articles on psychological resilience in the press at the moment, so I thought perhaps it would interest you as well since many of the fans here are mothers, teachers or teens themselves.

 

Also I found this weird article about the link btw. psychological resilience and dating success...

http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/the-link-between-psychological-resilience-and-dating-success-2273013.html

 

 

There's no doubt he's bounced back well from his childhood traumas, and deals with negative situations now pretty well (in public, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors), as a lot of people do.

But some people don't have that resilience, their support system possibly isn't as positive as Mikas is, so they don't handle situations as well.

I guess it really depends on the person and their support system, when it comes down to it.

[koolj5]

I mean that parents sometimes insist even when their kids are really having a hard time and going to school becomes a nightmare. School can be very stressful, especially if the child's brain is not mature enough to cope with the requests. Some students - even older - feel lost and become even more insecure or aggressive when they fail, just because there is too much to learn and too many things to do. Taking your time is the best thing sometimes. (I'm not talking about students who don't work regularly) So I think pulling him out of school and giving him something else to keep him busy, although it may seem a crazy idea at least in my country, was probably the best decision.

 

 

i agree. there is a lot of pressure. nowadays, with kids having to learn more and more sooner and sooner, it would be even harder to have the courage to just take your kid out. and obviously, she didn't just take him out, and homeschooled him the same way, she was very smart to provide him with the kind of training and teaching that he needed... (guess, he showed certain talents very early, most kids don't...)

 

anyways, i understand parents today, because it's not an option in a lot of places. in the US it's pretty common to homeschool. but not everybody can do that even if they wanted to. (of course there's other ways besides homeschooling to take some of the pressure away)

 

to get back to the topic, i'm sure it contributed to mika's resilience that he had such a strong family, especially mother, who supported him in the right ways... (wonder what would have happened if she left him at school that year, he got his ego crushed some more, and maybe not had any early musical training...would he be the same person?)

[Shine]

Sorry to bump in and interrupt your new topic, but there's a plenty of updates in this thread about possible Mika music taste.

As far as I remember many MFCrs have posted there and had interesting discussions.

Of course, there's a lot more about his (sometimes) changable preferences from time to time, especially when it comes to the classic music, but also the other genres and performers.

 

 

Here it is:

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18152

 

[southeast]

yes, i always have a rush of last minute customers before the holidays

 

it's like that every year

 

Yes, Christmas turns up very suddenly every year, doesn't it? No one can ever prepare properly for that.

 

 

I've had a look at the resilience guide for parents and teachers and my first thought was: Mrs P. 1 - Mika's School 0.

She had a hell of a good idea, actually!

 

Yes, that was exactly my thought too. Taking him from school but also the routines & making him concentrate on something new...very clever.

[southeast]

thank you for posting these. the last article describes a couple of nice tools to develop a thicker skin during dating. and after you've mastered them, you can keep using them when dealing with your spouse... (just my guess)

 

Hi:bye:

I just popped in to say I like this thread. Thank you southeast and sil! I usually just read this thread, but the articles about resilience you posted a few posts ago are really interesting (though I haven't read through all of it), so I couldn't help but post and show my appreciation. I've never studied psychology, so the whole concept of resilience is pretty new and fascinating to me.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say hi! Oh, and I sometimes work on weekends too:wink2:

 

You are welcome! And hi, butterflygal! Nice to hear you like the thread!

And yes, there is a lot of information about resilience in the Internet and the press, but it's difficult to find something serious. I think the American Psychological Assosiation is a really good source. I have some stuff in German too, but don't know if everyone can read it. There was a big article on the topic in "Der Spiegel" few months ago as well.

[southeast]

There's no doubt he's bounced back well from his childhood traumas, and deals with negative situations now pretty well (in public, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors), as a lot of people do.

But some people don't have that resilience, their support system possibly isn't as positive as Mikas is, so they don't handle situations as well.

I guess it really depends on the person and their support system, when it comes down to it.

 

You are right, apparently it is extremely important for kids to have at least one supportive, loving adult (not necessary parents) who gives them help and a hug. This works wonders for the development of resilience.

 

I was just thinking how strange life is: the first years of one's life are extremely important for one's whole development, life and happiness after that, but exactly in these years people are utterly dependant on one's parents. So if you have bad luck with your parents and family, you can't really do anything against it and they influence your whole life after that. It's so unfair, when you think of it...

 

 

Sorry to bump in and interrupt your new topic, but there's a plenty of updates in this thread about possible Mika music taste.

As far as I remember many MFCrs have posted there and had interesting discussions.

Of course, there's a lot more about his (sometimes) changable preferences from time to time, especially when it comes to the classic music, but also the other genres and performers.

 

 

Here it is:

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18152

 

 

Thank you, my dear! Mika seems to like everybody. I have never heard him say he doesn't like a specific music style or musician. He's so diplomatic.

[suzie]

Mika seems to like everybody. I have never heard him say he doesn't like a specific music style or musician. He's so diplomatic.

I can easily come up with triple the amount of musicians and songs I like - it only has to do with how much one listens to and is familiar with music. ... and of course there are a lot of artists I can't stand for various reasons.

 

He might have never said he hated anyone but when he doesn't like one's music, he is flattering them on other things, usually. You can easily read between the lines.