Dreamy_Queen Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 and i suffer from PND Im affraid that i wont see him again cos i screwed up at a video recording last weekend. He have said in pm's and texts that we will meet up alone again someday and it wasnt ny fault what happened. But im stlll affraid i wont see him again... I know getting things said to him face-2-face would change a lot but he was too busy for that and say what happened by pm and text isnt the same. He couldnt see if i was smiling, crying or how my voice was and i couldnt see or hear the way he reacted. If i could just tell him by phone (call) but i cant call and i dont think he wants me to call... its not a "post friend depression" it IS for an artist!!!! Would call it PFD instead then... went to a music vid. shoot w. an artist... i screwed up in a way he didnt wanted me to cos he had told me 1-2 weeks before that he didnt wanted me to get sick on the set... and what happened!!! I got sick... And im affraid i wont get to see that artist anylonger... Last sunday was ruind cos of what happened saturday and i needed this place a lot to get through it... but couldnt! Needed to speak to him too but he couldnt cos of vid. recording... so talking face-2-face about it and our breakfast/lunch plan got canceled too!!!! Im affraid :tears: Oh, God, Angel, I'm so sorry to hear this! All I can say is that time will show, you better hope for the best. It seems like you feel a bit embarrassed, and I understand you. I can't tell you that for sure everything will be good, but you can cry out your tears and begin with your plans how to go on, and how to get him back. Cheer up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) Oh, God, Angel, I'm so sorry to hear this! All I can say is that time will show, you better hope for the best. It seems like you feel a bit embarrassed, and I understand you. I can't tell you that for sure everything will be good, but you can cry out your tears and begin with your plans how to go on, and how to get him back. Cheer up! i donno how to go on... and get him back... well still talking! But i donno in what way now I feel very embarrased. Had too much meds. in my blood cos i got all dizzy and sick (no seizure) and next to that a mild panic attact. He could see i wasnt feeling well but didnt wanted to know cos he had to concentrate on the filming but wanted to know face-2-face the next day... he would text or call me when he got back to the hotel about plans and did but he couldnt make it... I got the bigest, closest, warmest and most careing hug ive ever gotten in a long long time when we said g'bye that day cos he wanted to say g'bye and get well. one of those 1+ min. hugs where you are talking at the same time. But im affraid thats it... he can hold me back from seeing him like lets say live again? I dont think i can get him back... he have said that i dont have to be affraid to loose him but its just... words... i donno if he means it even though i do know better but peeps can sometimes change. I couldnt see my phone when i wrote to him about what happened ect. but he donno cos well he couldnt see. I was feeling bad and have since then even though one who have known him for 5 years said that he have never seen him give a person a hug like he gave me there... doesnt change a thing. he was tired and busy at that time too... peeps sometimes does things that they donno they are doing and dont remember when they are tired and stressed. I screwed up cos of those things happened... and i might have screwed up many things cos of that. I dont think i will ever get to see him again in any way I have no idea of how to move on... if i could say it to him face-2-face pr by phone as i wrote before... then i probably could "it's only words and words are all I have" How do i move on? How do i get him back? How do i get to see him again in any way? And will i ever get to see him again? Maybe he is scared of me now... i donno... Edited November 19, 2010 by Dark Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siu Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 i donno how to go on... and get him back... well still talking! But i donno in what way now I feel very embarrased. Had too much meds. in my blood cos i got all dizzy and sick (no seizure) and next to that a mild panic attact. He could see i wasnt feeling well but didnt wanted to know cos he had to concentrate on the filming but wanted to know face-2-face the next day... he would text or call me when he got back to the hotel about plans and did but he couldnt make it... I got the bigest, closest, warmest and most careing hug ive ever gotten in a long long time when we said g'bye that day cos he wanted to say g'bye and get well. one of those 1+ min. hugs where you are talking at the same time. But im affraid thats it... he can hold me back from seeing him like lets say live again? I dont think i can get him back... he have said that i dont have to be affraid to loose him but its just... words... i donno if he means it even though i do know better but peeps can sometimes change. I couldnt see my phone when i wrote to him about what happened ect. but he donno cos well he couldnt see. I was feeling bad and have since then even though one who have known him for 5 years said that he have never seen him give a person a hug like he gave me there... doesnt change a thing. he was tired and busy at that time too... peeps sometimes does things that they donno they are doing and dont remember when they are tired and stressed. I screwed up cos of those things happened... and i might have screwed up many things cos of that. I dont think i will ever get to see him again in any way I have no idea of how to move on... if i could say it to him face-2-face pr by phone as i wrote before... then i probably could "it's only words and words are all I have" How do i move on? How do i get him back? How do i get to see him again in any way? And will i ever get to see him again? Maybe he is scared of me now... i donno... Sounds kinda "diffrent" in the depression when the artist happens to be a friend too? DA Take your time. Cry if you need to, be angry at him or yourself or anyone, if you need to. Be scared of what will happen to your relationship, if yo need to. But don't attempt to make any decision before you have gone through the "mourning" period. You'll see things cleared then. Things didn't go well that weekend, you think you messed up - if his your true friend, he will continue to be that. If he's not, then, although you will feel very bad for some time, you'll be better off knowing the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 DA Take your time. Cry if you need to, be angry at him or yourself or anyone, if you need to. Be scared of what will happen to your relationship, if yo need to. But don't attempt to make any decision before you have gone through the "mourning" period. You'll see things cleared then. Things didn't go well that weekend, you think you messed up - if his your true friend, he will continue to be that. If he's not, then, although you will feel very bad for some time, you'll be better off knowing the truth. i cant be angry at him.. but im very at myself even thouh he have told me not to. Ive been scared of what would happen to it ever since it happened... If our friendship will end... then i'll wonder for a long long time what went wrong and well blame myself. he have said not to worry about his reaction and he understand what happened... but its just... words... i donno how he was when he was writing it... happy? careing? dissapointed but didnt wanted to mention that? Went through texts and pms and i dont think he knows im affraid to loose him as a friend... dont think he knows how much i care for him not only as a friend but also as the artist he is. the way im talking with him... never done that before with a guy. Never cared so much for a guy too before... Soon a week ago but feels like yesterday I guess you and DQ knows who im talking about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) Oh, God, Angel, I'm so sorry to hear this! All I can say is that time will show, you better hope for the best. It seems like you feel a bit embarrassed, and I understand you. I can't tell you that for sure everything will be good, but you can cry out your tears and begin with your plans how to go on, and how to get him back. Cheer up! any idea on how to get neo back again? Edited November 19, 2010 by Dark Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamy_Queen Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 any idea on how to get neo back again? i carefully read all you've written, so I understand how hard it is all for you. I'm not a skilful adviser, especially because I don't know him absolutely at all. But I'm sure you have to wait a bit before doing the next step. Firstly, not to do any stupid things. Secondly, a bit of time can bring you a good idea - it can be even a dream, a snatch of conversation on the street, or maybe he will do something himself. And more - not to seem intrusive. The better thing for now is, as Siu said, to cry (better loudly - it helps!!!), to talk here (in this thread or another) as much as possible i order to feel our support and not to feel alone, listen to aggressive music loud ( as for me, once Linking Park and Nevada Ten helped me). Just wait, maybe a week but no less than 3 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 i carefully read all you've written, so I understand how hard it is all for you. I'm not a skilful adviser, especially because I don't know him absolutely at all. But I'm sure you have to wait a bit before doing the next step. Firstly, not to do any stupid things. Secondly, a bit of time can bring you a good idea - it can be even a dream, a snatch of conversation on the street, or maybe he will do something himself. And more - not to seem intrusive.The better thing for now is, as Siu said, to cry (better loudly - it helps!!!), to talk here (in this thread or another) as much as possible i order to feel our support and not to feel alone, listen to aggressive music loud ( as for me, once Linking Park and Nevada Ten helped me). Just wait, maybe a week but no less than 3 days. ive heard from him today... and i think ive have said something wrong that has changed things will try with some aggresive music thingy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siu Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 ive heard from him today... and i think ive have said something wrong that has changed things will try with some aggresive music thingy... I don't know what exactly happened and so on, but I understand you feel very bad and insecure about it. Maybe what happened came unexpectedly to him and he also needs some time to think things through? DQ is right, try not to be intrusive and let him start missing you. (Easier said than done!) I guess that an important thing is to find yourself something to do while waiting the peak to pass. This will a) help the time go past faster and b) make you feel better about yourself, when you realise that you can function well even at difficult times instead of pitying yourself. Again easier said than done of course. But you're not alone, you have us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 (edited) I don't know what exactly happened and so on, but I understand you feel very bad and insecure about it. Maybe what happened came unexpectedly to him and he also needs some time to think things through? DQ is right, try not to be intrusive and let him start missing you. (Easier said than done!) I guess that an important thing is to find yourself something to do while waiting the peak to pass. This will a) help the time go past faster and b) make you feel better about yourself, when you realise that you can function well even at difficult times instead of pitying yourself. Again easier said than done of course. But you're not alone, you have us! It just "hurts" to go from "friend" to "fan"... and i have no idea why! But i think its cos ive said something wrong!!! Dont think cos of what happened in the weekend. So your idea is to just wait till he writes back again? his pm was kinda long tonight as always but my reply was... kinda short cos of the fan thingy. Came by surprise... Edited November 20, 2010 by Dark Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siu Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 It just "hurts" to go from "friend" to "fan"... and i have no idea why! But i think its cos ive said something wrong!!! Dont think cos of what happened in the weekend. So your idea is to just wait till he writes back again? his pm was kinda long tonight as always but my reply was... kinda short cos of the fan thingy. Came by surprise... Did he call you a "fan" instead of previous "friend"? Giving someone a bit of time and space usually never does any harm. It rather shows that you have your own life and you don't cling on to other people. Equally, you say that he's rather busy - video shoots etc. I'd suggest what DQ said earlier: wait for a few days and if he doesn't contact you, take the first step just to ask how he's doing or thank him for the nice parts of the weekend (unless you have done that already) or something other that seems to fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Did he call you a "fan" instead of previous "friend"? Giving someone a bit of time and space usually never does any harm. It rather shows that you have your own life and you don't cling on to other people. Equally, you say that he's rather busy - video shoots etc. I'd suggest what DQ said earlier: wait for a few days and if he doesn't contact you, take the first step just to ask how he's doing or thank him for the nice parts of the weekend (unless you have done that already) or something other that seems to fit. yeah... it just... changed wait till he starts to miss me... dont think that will ever happen.. donno!!! He once contacted me after a week cos he thought it was a long time ago since we last spoke... He have been busy... the vid. shoot is over. Only editing now... Actually he use to be the one asking how i am and things like what im going to do in the weekend ect. Ive already thanked him for the past weekend of course. But we will see... maybe im just takeing it "too much" cos i maybe i read/see things diffrent atm. cos of 2 crappy days w. not much sleep... can sometimes make you more depressed and see/hear/read things in a diffrent way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siu Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 yeah... it just... changed wait till he starts to miss me... dont think that will ever happen.. donno!!! He once contacted me after a week cos he thought it was a long time ago since we last spoke... He have been busy... the vid. shoot is over. Only editing now... Actually he use to be the one asking how i am and things like what im going to do in the weekend ect. Ive already thanked him for the past weekend of course. But we will see... maybe im just takeing it "too much" cos i maybe i read/see things diffrent atm. cos of 2 crappy days w. not much sleep... can sometimes make you more depressed and see/hear/read things in a diffrent way... It's good that you understand that! Sleep on it. Wait a few days. Maybe you really are seeing things in darker colours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 It's good that you understand that! Sleep on it. Wait a few days. Maybe you really are seeing things in darker colours. i will take a look at it tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamy_Queen Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 i will take a look at it tomorrow... Hope this look will be a bit brighter. You know what? Buy some ice-cream, chocolate, or whatever else that you love. After a good crying, eat it slowly, listening to a good music (but not Neo! otherwise you'll be immersed on tears), and reading or browsing interesting sites where you could laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 (edited) Hope this look will be a bit brighter. You know what? Buy some ice-cream, chocolate, or whatever else that you love. After a good crying, eat it slowly, listening to a good music (but not Neo! otherwise you'll be immersed on tears), and reading or browsing interesting sites where you could laugh. I dont have any of those things Have to wait with that till he 30th Edited November 20, 2010 by Dark Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Hope this look will be a bit brighter. You know what? Buy some ice-cream, chocolate, or whatever else that you love. After a good crying, eat it slowly, listening to a good music (but not Neo! otherwise you'll be immersed on tears), and reading or browsing interesting sites where you could laugh. ohhh and brighter... nope! Freaking confused... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertina Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Just in case someone needs to share his/her PMD...I had to bump this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokesignal Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Just in case someone needs to share his/her PMD...I had to bump this Awww... poor you. Having a PMD without even having been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywonka Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Awww... poor you. Having a PMD without even having been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertina Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Awww... poor you. Having a PMD without even having been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippieibbie Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Awww... poor you. Having a PMD without even having been there lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcdeb Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Just in case someone needs to share his/her PMD...I had to bump this I haz it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippieibbie Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 I haz it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 I haz it. I hope it doesn't last too long .....Live on your memories.......I know they are amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DutchAnnie Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 I haz it. I haz it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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