CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 omg yeah I know... In the last erm... MONTHS I haven't had much time for MFC so I have SOOOOOOOOOOOO much catching up to do... it seems the only thread I'm able to keep up with is the Canadian Thread... I sometimes miss the days where I was able to log on once a day and be able to read ALL the new posts ! i suggest you get going sunshine *no pun intended lol well okay maybe a bit* cos i'm about to add another chapter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshine931 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 i suggest you get going sunshine *no pun intended lol well okay maybe a bit* cos i'm about to add another chapter! how many chapters are there so far ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 how many chapters are there so far ? 11 so far, a 12th coming up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshine931 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 11 so far, a 12th coming up! Good thing I called in sick today ! Well actually being sick sucks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Good thing I called in sick today ! Well actually being sick sucks... hopefully my scripts will manage to put a smile on your face! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chapter 12 It's late at night and John is getting ready to go to bed. He buttons up his pyjama top and climbs into bed, cuddling up to the crisp, cosy sheets. He shuts his eyes and goes to sleep... John finds himself in an old cottage type house with an old fashioned kitchen. He looks at his clothes and he's wearing some farmer type outfit and a straw hat. Disgruntled at his shabby appearance, John takes off the straw hat and sees a plump woman in a Big Girl outfit cooking a pie. The smell is terrific and he wanders over to her, and speaks her in a thick southern American accent. John: This here berry pie smells mighty fine ol' girl! Big Girl: Why thanks Jee-yony boi! I spent all day cooking this for ya darlin', I know how hard it can be working in them cornfields! John's brain is very much in the outside world, and is wondering why the hell he is talking this way, and as if he knows what he's talking about, but his dream-like body continues to live in this dream world state. Mika: Well shock, shock me mama, that pie smells delicious! Mika, too, has a very thick American accent and kisses Big Girl on the cheek. He goes over to John. Mika: Papa! What a fine day it is today! Say, whaddya think about goin' fishin' later? John: Mika my boy you know I'd love nothing more than to spend time with my son! But my berry pie is ready and is just cooling on the sill. Raincheck? Mika: Sure, pa. I'll just go down to the folks home then and play a few country songs then. Catch ya later mama, papa! Big Girl: Take care sweetie! Mika leaves. John's body continues as if everything is normal but his brain is rattling inside. John's Brain: Mika is NOT my son and God forbid if he were! And Big Girl is NOT my wife! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!! Big Girl: Oh by the way Jee-yonny boi, did ya get rid of that squirrel infestation? John: I've left traps honey and it's fool proof! Squirrel's ain't getting my nuts no more. In fact, I might just sit down here in my favourite seat and eat some of these here nuts. Big Girl leaves and John sits down on an aged, flower printed arm chair. He gets a packet of nuts and starts to chew. John's Brain: What am I doing? What AM I doing?! John hears something like metal scraping against wood. He becomes tense and he turns around. The berry pie - sitted in a metal basin...thing - is moving on the sill. John can just about make out a wispy tail. John: God dang it it's those darn squirrels! John gets the shot gun off the wall and goes towards the pie. John's Brain: NO DON'T DO IT! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!!! John goes to the pie and aims the gun at the squirrel but sees a horrific sight outside. There's not just one squirrel, or two, or three or even four. The whole field is covered in them and the Squirrel Leader, dressed in a sash complete with mini sword, stand up to John in a squeaky voice. Squirrel Leader: Now see here! You steal our nuts, we steal your food! John: What the hell? Get off of my property! Squirrel Leader: CHARGE!!!! A thousand squirrels race into the room, squashing the berry pie and John is running away from the attack of the squirrels. John falls to the ground in slow motion and the shot gun flies out his hand which lands with a crash. John turns round a sees a gang of Squirrels slowly flying above him, the long gnashing teeth bared, their eyes evil...John yells a low long note and the squirrels fall on him and start to bite him. At that moment, Mika comes running in dressed in a squirrel outfit. Mika: Papa! Papa! Papa.... papa...pa.... John's dream fades to an end and he can feel himself being shaken, the word "f---er" being said repeatedly. Mika: F---er! Wake up! Wake up! Come ON you f---er! John: wha, wha, wha? Mika: *sighs with relief* thank God. John: *groggily* My nuts... Mika: *Mika suddenly withdraws himself from bring on top of John in case he was damaging his nuts. Mika becomes tense and cautious.* John: My nuts were being pinched... Mika: *hands go straight down to his groinal area* no-one was pinching your nuts!! John: The squirrels...the squirrels were pinching my nuts.... Mika looks down at his boxers which are covered in squirrels. Mika gulps and goes to John's underwear drawer, in hope to change before John fully wakes up. Mika has just taken his boxers off and about to put on a pair of John's Y-Fronts. John looks over to see Mika wearing his underpants. John: Mika..aren't those mine? Mika: .................................No.... John: Mika why are you wearing my underwear? Mika: ............squirrels were on my underpants. John: .........Excuse me? Mika: Look, you had a bad dream about squirrels, and there were squirrels on my underwear, so I took em off. Look! *thrusts underwear at John* John: EEEEWWWWWW MIKA!!!!! *John jumps out of bed and screams like a girl as he dusts his body as if trying to get ride of an infection* Mika: are you scared of squirrels that much? John: THIS ISN'T ABOUT SQUIRRELS!!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR! Mika: They're NOT dirty, thank you very much. John: God knows what you've done in those Mika you might have farted in them! Mika: No, I just silently farted in yours. John: Oh for the love of Pete! Mika: RIGHT. That's it! I'm gonna find out who this Pete is, even if it kills me! *Mika struts out the room in John's Y-Fronts. John hears Jerry mum's scream outside his door and then a huge bump on the floor.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshine931 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 hopefully my scripts will manage to put a smile on your face! I'm sure it will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LA_fashionista Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chapter 12 It's late at night and John is getting ready to go to bed. He buttons up his pyjama top and climbs into bed, cuddling up to the crisp, cosy sheets. He shuts his eyes and goes to sleep... John finds himself in an old cottage type house with an old fashioned kitchen. He looks at his clothes and he's wearing some farmer type outfit and a straw hat. Disgruntled at his shabby appearance, John takes off the straw hat and sees a plump woman in a Big Girl outfit cooking a pie. The smell is terrific and he wanders over to her, and speaks her in a thick southern American accent. John: This here berry pie smells mighty fine ol' girl! Big Girl: Why thanks Jee-yony boi! I spent all day cooking this for ya darlin', I know how hard it can be working in them cornfields! John's brain is very much in the outside world, and is wondering why the hell he is talking this way, and as if he knows what he's talking about, but his dream-like body continues to live in this dream world state. Mika: Well shock, shock me mama, that pie smells delicious! Mika, too, has a very thick American accent and kisses Big Girl on the cheek. He goes over to John. Mika: Papa! What a fine day it is today! Say, whaddya think about goin' fishin' later? John: Mika my boy you know I'd love nothing more than to spend time with my son! But my berry pie is ready and is just cooling on the sill. Raincheck? Mika: Sure, pa. I'll just go down to the folks home then and play a few country songs then. Catch ya later mama, papa! Big Girl: Take care sweetie! Mika leaves. John's body continues as if everything is normal but his brain is rattling inside. John's Brain: Mika is NOT my son and God forbid if he were! And Big Girl is NOT my wife! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!! Big Girl: Oh by the way Jee-yonny boi, did ya get rid of that squirrel infestation? John: I've left traps honey and it's fool proof! Squirrel's ain't getting my nuts no more. In fact, I might just sit down here in my favourite seat and eat some of these here nuts. Big Girl leaves and John sits down on an aged, flower printed arm chair. He gets a packet of nuts and starts to chew. John's Brain: What am I doing? What AM I doing?! John hears something like metal scraping against wood. He becomes tense and he turns around. The berry pie - sitted in a metal basin...thing - is moving on the sill. John can just about make out a wispy tail. John: God dang it it's those darn squirrels! John gets the shot gun off the wall and goes towards the pie. John's Brain: NO DON'T DO IT! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!!! John goes to the pie and aims the gun at the squirrel but sees a horrific sight outside. There's not just one squirrel, or two, or three or even four. The whole field is covered in them and the Squirrel Leader, dressed in a sash complete with mini sword, stand up to John in a squeaky voice. Squirrel Leader: Now see here! You steal our nuts, we steal your food! John: What the hell? Get off of my property! Squirrel Leader: CHARGE!!!! A thousand squirrels race into the room, squashing the berry pie and John is running away from the attack of the squirrels. John falls to the ground in slow motion and the shot gun flies out his hand which lands with a crash. John turns round a sees a gang of Squirrels slowly flying above him, the long gnashing teeth bared, their eyes evil...John yells a low long note and the squirrels fall on him and start to bite him. At that moment, Mika comes running in dressed in a squirrel outfit. Mika: Papa! Papa! Papa.... papa...pa.... John's dream fades to an end and he can feel himself being shaken, the word "f---er" being said repeatedly. Mika: F---er! Wake up! Wake up! Come ON you f---er! John: wha, wha, wha? Mika: *sighs with relief* thank God. John: *groggily* My nuts... Mika: *Mika suddenly withdraws himself from bring on top of John in case he was damaging his nuts. Mika becomes tense and cautious.* John: My nuts were being pinched... Mika: *hands go straight down to his groinal area* no-one was pinching your nuts!! John: The squirrels...the squirrels were pinching my nuts.... Mika looks down at his boxers which are covered in squirrels. Mika gulps and goes to John's underwear drawer, in hope to change before John fully wakes up. Mika has just taken his boxers off and about to put on a pair of John's Y-Fronts. John looks over to see Mika wearing his underpants. John: Mika..aren't those mine? Mika: .................................No.... John: Mika why are you wearing my underwear? Mika: ............squirrels were on my underpants. John: .........Excuse me? Mika: Look, you had a bad dream about squirrels, and there were squirrels on my underwear, so I took em off. Look! *thrusts underwear at John* John: EEEEWWWWWW MIKA!!!!! *John jumps out of bed and screams like a girl as he dusts his body as if trying to get ride of an infection* Mika: are you scared of squirrels that much? John: THIS ISN'T ABOUT SQUIRRELS!!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR! Mika: They're NOT dirty, thank you very much. John: God knows what you've done in those Mika you might have farted in them! Mika: No, I just silently farted in yours. John: Oh for the love of Pete! Mika: RIGHT. That's it! I'm gonna find out who this Pete is, even if it kills me! *Mika struts out the room in John's Y-Fronts. John hears Jerry mum's scream outside his door and then a huge bump on the floor.* Oh dear god..... What is it with these bloody squirrels?! LOL This one is pretty frickin crazy. Funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdlp Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 and here is the black option .... I remember seeing a black squirrel when I went to Canada, so cute!! yey new script to read .. quickly, uh oh I should be getting ready, oh welll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAK1 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chapter 12 It's late at night and John is getting ready to go to bed. He buttons up his pyjama top and climbs into bed, cuddling up to the crisp, cosy sheets. He shuts his eyes and goes to sleep... John finds himself in an old cottage type house with an old fashioned kitchen. He looks at his clothes and he's wearing some farmer type outfit and a straw hat. Disgruntled at his shabby appearance, John takes off the straw hat and sees a plump woman in a Big Girl outfit cooking a pie. The smell is terrific and he wanders over to her, and speaks her in a thick southern American accent. John: This here berry pie smells mighty fine ol' girl! Big Girl: Why thanks Jee-yony boi! I spent all day cooking this for ya darlin', I know how hard it can be working in them cornfields! John's brain is very much in the outside world, and is wondering why the hell he is talking this way, and as if he knows what he's talking about, but his dream-like body continues to live in this dream world state. Mika: Well shock, shock me mama, that pie smells delicious! Mika, too, has a very thick American accent and kisses Big Girl on the cheek. He goes over to John. Mika: Papa! What a fine day it is today! Say, whaddya think about goin' fishin' later? John: Mika my boy you know I'd love nothing more than to spend time with my son! But my berry pie is ready and is just cooling on the sill. Raincheck? Mika: Sure, pa. I'll just go down to the folks home then and play a few country songs then. Catch ya later mama, papa! Big Girl: Take care sweetie! Mika leaves. John's body continues as if everything is normal but his brain is rattling inside. John's Brain: Mika is NOT my son and God forbid if he were! And Big Girl is NOT my wife! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!! Big Girl: Oh by the way Jee-yonny boi, did ya get rid of that squirrel infestation? John: I've left traps honey and it's fool proof! Squirrel's ain't getting my nuts no more. In fact, I might just sit down here in my favourite seat and eat some of these here nuts. Big Girl leaves and John sits down on an aged, flower printed arm chair. He gets a packet of nuts and starts to chew. John's Brain: What am I doing? What AM I doing?! John hears something like metal scraping against wood. He becomes tense and he turns around. The berry pie - sitted in a metal basin...thing - is moving on the sill. John can just about make out a wispy tail. John: God dang it it's those darn squirrels! John gets the shot gun off the wall and goes towards the pie. John's Brain: NO DON'T DO IT! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!!! John goes to the pie and aims the gun at the squirrel but sees a horrific sight outside. There's not just one squirrel, or two, or three or even four. The whole field is covered in them and the Squirrel Leader, dressed in a sash complete with mini sword, stand up to John in a squeaky voice. Squirrel Leader: Now see here! You steal our nuts, we steal your food! John: What the hell? Get off of my property! Squirrel Leader: CHARGE!!!! A thousand squirrels race into the room, squashing the berry pie and John is running away from the attack of the squirrels. John falls to the ground in slow motion and the shot gun flies out his hand which lands with a crash. John turns round a sees a gang of Squirrels slowly flying above him, the long gnashing teeth bared, their eyes evil...John yells a low long note and the squirrels fall on him and start to bite him. At that moment, Mika comes running in dressed in a squirrel outfit. Mika: Papa! Papa! Papa.... papa...pa.... John's dream fades to an end and he can feel himself being shaken, the word "f---er" being said repeatedly. Mika: F---er! Wake up! Wake up! Come ON you f---er! John: wha, wha, wha? Mika: *sighs with relief* thank God. John: *groggily* My nuts... Mika: *Mika suddenly withdraws himself from bring on top of John in case he was damaging his nuts. Mika becomes tense and cautious.* John: My nuts were being pinched... Mika: *hands go straight down to his groinal area* no-one was pinching your nuts!! John: The squirrels...the squirrels were pinching my nuts.... Mika looks down at his boxers which are covered in squirrels. Mika gulps and goes to John's underwear drawer, in hope to change before John fully wakes up. Mika has just taken his boxers off and about to put on a pair of John's Y-Fronts. John looks over to see Mika wearing his underpants. John: Mika..aren't those mine? Mika: .................................No.... John: Mika why are you wearing my underwear? Mika: ............squirrels were on my underpants. John: .........Excuse me? Mika: Look, you had a bad dream about squirrels, and there were squirrels on my underwear, so I took em off. Look! *thrusts underwear at John* John: EEEEWWWWWW MIKA!!!!! *John jumps out of bed and screams like a girl as he dusts his body as if trying to get ride of an infection* Mika: are you scared of squirrels that much? John: THIS ISN'T ABOUT SQUIRRELS!!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR! Mika: They're NOT dirty, thank you very much. John: God knows what you've done in those Mika you might have farted in them! Mika: No, I just silently farted in yours. John: Oh for the love of Pete! Mika: RIGHT. That's it! I'm gonna find out who this Pete is, even if it kills me! *Mika struts out the room in John's Y-Fronts. John hears Jerry mum's scream outside his door and then a huge bump on the floor.* That is MAD!!!! Do you think anyone would be brave enough to bring John a cuddly squirrel as a gift next time around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdlp Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chapter 12 It's late at night and John is getting ready to go to bed. He buttons up his pyjama top and climbs into bed, cuddling up to the crisp, cosy sheets. He shuts his eyes and goes to sleep... John finds himself in an old cottage type house with an old fashioned kitchen. He looks at his clothes and he's wearing some farmer type outfit and a straw hat. Disgruntled at his shabby appearance, John takes off the straw hat and sees a plump woman in a Big Girl outfit cooking a pie. The smell is terrific and he wanders over to her, and speaks her in a thick southern American accent. John: This here berry pie smells mighty fine ol' girl! Big Girl: Why thanks Jee-yony boi! I spent all day cooking this for ya darlin', I know how hard it can be working in them cornfields! John's brain is very much in the outside world, and is wondering why the hell he is talking this way, and as if he knows what he's talking about, but his dream-like body continues to live in this dream world state. Mika: Well shock, shock me mama, that pie smells delicious! Mika, too, has a very thick American accent and kisses Big Girl on the cheek. He goes over to John. Mika: Papa! What a fine day it is today! Say, whaddya think about goin' fishin' later? John: Mika my boy you know I'd love nothing more than to spend time with my son! But my berry pie is ready and is just cooling on the sill. Raincheck? Mika: Sure, pa. I'll just go down to the folks home then and play a few country songs then. Catch ya later mama, papa! Big Girl: Take care sweetie! Mika leaves. John's body continues as if everything is normal but his brain is rattling inside. John's Brain: Mika is NOT my son and God forbid if he were! And Big Girl is NOT my wife! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!! Big Girl: Oh by the way Jee-yonny boi, did ya get rid of that squirrel infestation? John: I've left traps honey and it's fool proof! Squirrel's ain't getting my nuts no more. In fact, I might just sit down here in my favourite seat and eat some of these here nuts. Big Girl leaves and John sits down on an aged, flower printed arm chair. He gets a packet of nuts and starts to chew. John's Brain: What am I doing? What AM I doing?! John hears something like metal scraping against wood. He becomes tense and he turns around. The berry pie - sitted in a metal basin...thing - is moving on the sill. John can just about make out a wispy tail. John: God dang it it's those darn squirrels! John gets the shot gun off the wall and goes towards the pie. John's Brain: NO DON'T DO IT! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!!! John goes to the pie and aims the gun at the squirrel but sees a horrific sight outside. There's not just one squirrel, or two, or three or even four. The whole field is covered in them and the Squirrel Leader, dressed in a sash complete with mini sword, stand up to John in a squeaky voice. Squirrel Leader: Now see here! You steal our nuts, we steal your food! John: What the hell? Get off of my property! Squirrel Leader: CHARGE!!!! A thousand squirrels race into the room, squashing the berry pie and John is running away from the attack of the squirrels. John falls to the ground in slow motion and the shot gun flies out his hand which lands with a crash. John turns round a sees a gang of Squirrels slowly flying above him, the long gnashing teeth bared, their eyes evil...John yells a low long note and the squirrels fall on him and start to bite him. At that moment, Mika comes running in dressed in a squirrel outfit. Mika: Papa! Papa! Papa.... papa...pa.... John's dream fades to an end and he can feel himself being shaken, the word "f---er" being said repeatedly. Mika: F---er! Wake up! Wake up! Come ON you f---er! John: wha, wha, wha? Mika: *sighs with relief* thank God. John: *groggily* My nuts... Mika: *Mika suddenly withdraws himself from bring on top of John in case he was damaging his nuts. Mika becomes tense and cautious.* John: My nuts were being pinched... Mika: *hands go straight down to his groinal area* no-one was pinching your nuts!! John: The squirrels...the squirrels were pinching my nuts.... Mika looks down at his boxers which are covered in squirrels. Mika gulps and goes to John's underwear drawer, in hope to change before John fully wakes up. Mika has just taken his boxers off and about to put on a pair of John's Y-Fronts. John looks over to see Mika wearing his underpants. John: Mika..aren't those mine? Mika: .................................No.... John: Mika why are you wearing my underwear? Mika: ............squirrels were on my underpants. John: .........Excuse me? Mika: Look, you had a bad dream about squirrels, and there were squirrels on my underwear, so I took em off. Look! *thrusts underwear at John* John: EEEEWWWWWW MIKA!!!!! *John jumps out of bed and screams like a girl as he dusts his body as if trying to get ride of an infection* Mika: are you scared of squirrels that much? John: THIS ISN'T ABOUT SQUIRRELS!!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR! Mika: They're NOT dirty, thank you very much. John: God knows what you've done in those Mika you might have farted in them! Mika: No, I just silently farted in yours. John: Oh for the love of Pete! Mika: RIGHT. That's it! I'm gonna find out who this Pete is, even if it kills me! *Mika struts out the room in John's Y-Fronts. John hears Jerry mum's scream outside his door and then a huge bump on the floor.* *howls like a dog* my stomach hurts from laughing too much *collapses on the floor* :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 :roftl: I think you should give John a bag of peanuts when you give the book to Mika - by the time he gets to read it he will understand!!! :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Oh dear god..... What is it with these bloody squirrels?! LOL This one is pretty frickin crazy. Funny stuff. I'm not quite sure LOL. It just started off as a random thing but wendi and greta *made* me pursue it LOL! That is MAD!!!! Do you think anyone would be brave enough to bring John a cuddly squirrel as a gift next time around? LMAO I just pray to God John has a sense of humour xDDD *howls like a dog* my stomach hurts from laughing too much *collapses on the floor* hahaha u nutcase! Oops! a pun there! NUTcase! *waits for people to laugh but silence replies...* I think you should give John a bag of peanuts when you give the book to Mika - by the time he gets to read it he will understand!!! xDDDD i dont even know if john likes peanuts LMAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violet_sky Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 another very funny one That is MAD!!!! Do you think anyone would be brave enough to bring John a cuddly squirrel as a gift next time around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Oh! Remember chapter 11? the one where Mika poses in underwear on the piano? well, i've pretty much decided to turn it into a story book if/when i give this to Mika, and I drew up a rough initial idea of what Mika will look like on a certain page, on top of a piano in underwear. Now, it's all pretty much out of proportion lmao, and I giggled like a naughty school girl drawing his nipples and I felt so guilty drawing it, but hey. Mika, if you're watching, i am SOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegPL Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 ohh gurl.... that's MAAAAAAAAD xD especially that part about farting ... I'd visualize that....yuck xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 ohh gurl.... that's MAAAAAAAAD xD especially that part about farting ... I got visions....yuck xD :roftl: yeah it was pretty mental LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Oh! Remember chapter 11? the one where Mika poses in underwear on the piano? well, i've pretty much decided to turn it into a story book if/when i give this to Mika, and I drew up a rough initial idea of what Mika will look like on a certain page, on top of a piano in underwear. Now, it's all pretty much out of proportion lmao, and I giggled like a naughty school girl drawing his nipples and I felt so guilty drawing it, but hey. Mika, if you're watching, i am SOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY. David Beckam - eat your heart out!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah_Lollipop Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chapter 12 It's late at night and John is getting ready to go to bed. He buttons up his pyjama top and climbs into bed, cuddling up to the crisp, cosy sheets. He shuts his eyes and goes to sleep... John finds himself in an old cottage type house with an old fashioned kitchen. He looks at his clothes and he's wearing some farmer type outfit and a straw hat. Disgruntled at his shabby appearance, John takes off the straw hat and sees a plump woman in a Big Girl outfit cooking a pie. The smell is terrific and he wanders over to her, and speaks her in a thick southern American accent. John: This here berry pie smells mighty fine ol' girl! Big Girl: Why thanks Jee-yony boi! I spent all day cooking this for ya darlin', I know how hard it can be working in them cornfields! John's brain is very much in the outside world, and is wondering why the hell he is talking this way, and as if he knows what he's talking about, but his dream-like body continues to live in this dream world state. Mika: Well shock, shock me mama, that pie smells delicious! Mika, too, has a very thick American accent and kisses Big Girl on the cheek. He goes over to John. Mika: Papa! What a fine day it is today! Say, whaddya think about goin' fishin' later? John: Mika my boy you know I'd love nothing more than to spend time with my son! But my berry pie is ready and is just cooling on the sill. Raincheck? Mika: Sure, pa. I'll just go down to the folks home then and play a few country songs then. Catch ya later mama, papa! Big Girl: Take care sweetie! Mika leaves. John's body continues as if everything is normal but his brain is rattling inside. John's Brain: Mika is NOT my son and God forbid if he were! And Big Girl is NOT my wife! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!!! Big Girl: Oh by the way Jee-yonny boi, did ya get rid of that squirrel infestation? John: I've left traps honey and it's fool proof! Squirrel's ain't getting my nuts no more. In fact, I might just sit down here in my favourite seat and eat some of these here nuts. Big Girl leaves and John sits down on an aged, flower printed arm chair. He gets a packet of nuts and starts to chew. John's Brain: What am I doing? What AM I doing?! John hears something like metal scraping against wood. He becomes tense and he turns around. The berry pie - sitted in a metal basin...thing - is moving on the sill. John can just about make out a wispy tail. John: God dang it it's those darn squirrels! John gets the shot gun off the wall and goes towards the pie. John's Brain: NO DON'T DO IT! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!!! John goes to the pie and aims the gun at the squirrel but sees a horrific sight outside. There's not just one squirrel, or two, or three or even four. The whole field is covered in them and the Squirrel Leader, dressed in a sash complete with mini sword, stand up to John in a squeaky voice. Squirrel Leader: Now see here! You steal our nuts, we steal your food! John: What the hell? Get off of my property! Squirrel Leader: CHARGE!!!! A thousand squirrels race into the room, squashing the berry pie and John is running away from the attack of the squirrels. John falls to the ground in slow motion and the shot gun flies out his hand which lands with a crash. John turns round a sees a gang of Squirrels slowly flying above him, the long gnashing teeth bared, their eyes evil...John yells a low long note and the squirrels fall on him and start to bite him. At that moment, Mika comes running in dressed in a squirrel outfit. Mika: Papa! Papa! Papa.... papa...pa.... John's dream fades to an end and he can feel himself being shaken, the word "f---er" being said repeatedly. Mika: F---er! Wake up! Wake up! Come ON you f---er! John: wha, wha, wha? Mika: *sighs with relief* thank God. John: *groggily* My nuts... Mika: *Mika suddenly withdraws himself from bring on top of John in case he was damaging his nuts. Mika becomes tense and cautious.* John: My nuts were being pinched... Mika: *hands go straight down to his groinal area* no-one was pinching your nuts!! John: The squirrels...the squirrels were pinching my nuts.... Mika looks down at his boxers which are covered in squirrels. Mika gulps and goes to John's underwear drawer, in hope to change before John fully wakes up. Mika has just taken his boxers off and about to put on a pair of John's Y-Fronts. John looks over to see Mika wearing his underpants. John: Mika..aren't those mine? Mika: .................................No.... John: Mika why are you wearing my underwear? Mika: ............squirrels were on my underpants. John: .........Excuse me? Mika: Look, you had a bad dream about squirrels, and there were squirrels on my underwear, so I took em off. Look! *thrusts underwear at John* John: EEEEWWWWWW MIKA!!!!! *John jumps out of bed and screams like a girl as he dusts his body as if trying to get ride of an infection* Mika: are you scared of squirrels that much? John: THIS ISN'T ABOUT SQUIRRELS!!!! YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR! Mika: They're NOT dirty, thank you very much. John: God knows what you've done in those Mika you might have farted in them! Mika: No, I just silently farted in yours. John: Oh for the love of Pete! Mika: RIGHT. That's it! I'm gonna find out who this Pete is, even if it kills me! *Mika struts out the room in John's Y-Fronts. John hears Jerry mum's scream outside his door and then a huge bump on the floor.* :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agnieszka Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Oh! Remember chapter 11? the one where Mika poses in underwear on the piano? well, i've pretty much decided to turn it into a story book if/when i give this to Mika, and I drew up a rough initial idea of what Mika will look like on a certain page, on top of a piano in underwear. Now, it's all pretty much out of proportion lmao, and I giggled like a naughty school girl drawing his nipples and I felt so guilty drawing it, but hey. Mika, if you're watching, i am SOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY. but where's the apple pose!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 David Beckam - eat your heart out!!! LMAO if THAT drawn disgrace was next to david beckham's poster i think i'd die of shame! :roftl: :lmao: glad ya like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegPL Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 but where's the apple pose!? haha right and why does his chest hairs shapes like a heart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 but where's the apple pose!? this was PRE-Apple pose, when he was a bit scared at first. There. haha right and why does his chest hairs shapes like a heart? shut up it just happened LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegPL Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 this was PRE-Apple pose, when he was a bit scared at first. There. shut up it just happened LOL haha right....and I'm just happened to be mental? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agnieszka Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 and i also guess that this is the photoshoped version Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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