Please, help me who knows what it is, who has such experiment...

[Tatiana_tlt]

Hello guys.

 

May be somebody knows how to escape from the pain related with losses of close people.

In August I lost my mom and one my close friend (he's also my ex boyfriend and we were truly friends), then in October dies my one more friend. And yesterday died my dear dear uncle who loved me as his own daughter.

And I don't know what happen?

I've been crying for last 3 months every night. And I can't stop. It seems that tears are going to eat my face soon. And nothing helps. I can't stop thinking about them, every night and day I recollect them and talk to them in my mind. And everytime it makes me cry and cry and cry.. How much water is in eyes?

And it feels like my heart is going to burst to bits.

Sometimes I feel angry on them because they left me alone here to live with this pain. You have no idea HOW MUCH I want to talk to them tell stories ask advice touch them laugh with them hug and kiss. But I'll never NEVER be able to do it ANYMORE. They were almost the only ones who could understand me who I could trust the most private themes. And I feel so broken and unprotected. Sometimes I want to crash all my dishes at home because I know that nobody ever can replace me my mom, my first man and my close friend... And that yesterday news about my uncle.. I can't find a place to calm, I don't know what to think.. I really miss them very very much. It's so hard to take..

 

Guys, sorry.. it was a scream of my soul.. just.. if there's somebody who went through the same situation.. please.. share how to do it quickler.. because it's impossible how much it hurts?

 

And thank you for listening.

 

(sorry for my bad english..)

 

 

Tatiana.

[guylainem123]

hi tatiana,

first of all, you need a big big hug... having a shoulder to cry on is the best medicine.

i have had to deal with death before when my brother died. it was the hardest thing i ever had to go through. when someone you love dies, a little piece of you also dies. time is what will help heal. after a while, you will cry less and less, and somehow the great memories of the person will come back. so when you think of them, sadness will not fill your heart, but pleasant thoughts instead.

a big hug to you

[Sabine64]

Hello Tatiana,

I can understand exactly what you feel now. I had 1998 such a bad year, where my mother died and then some good friend, my aunt and then my parents in law. Every time, when I thought it would become a little bit easier the next thing happened. It is very very hard, but only the time will make it easier and the first year is the hardest. Because all Birthdays, christmas and easter are the first without the beloved people. It is O.K. to cry, to scream, to be angry and to be desperate.

Now I send you a very big hug and I wish you all the best for the coming time

[dilek]

aww tatiana i'm so sorry for you!!

 

i wish i could help, i can only imagine how painfull it could be to loose one of your family members or a friend:boxed: i don't have an experience about it though..

 

i'm sending you my all love and good wishes, hope you'll feel better soon!

 

and feel free to talk about how you feel on here, we are MFC friends after all:wub2:

 

[babspanky]

Oh honey, I am so sorry!

What do I know though? What does anyone know about this? One thing is certain, it comes to us all eventually and we don't deal with it very well.

I would say to you, let out your feelings, if you are sad, cry and if you are angry, rage.

Above all, keep talking. About how you feel and what these people mean to you. Don't bottle it up. These are important people to you.

 

I know what you mean about feeling unprotected too. Try and find strength inside yourself, it will set you in good stead in the future.

 

I don't know if you can "do" it quicker, but every day gets better even if it's only a tiny, tiny bit better.

You'll never forget, but as Guy said, the days when you are sad get less and the days when you remember with joy increase.

 

Feeling like this is a result of loving. If you didn't love these people you wouldn't feel this way.

But if you didn't love them in the first place, how would that have been? To never have known the love and happiness they brought to you when they were alive?

I wouldn't sacrifice that just so I wouldn't hurt when the time came.

 

Life can be cruel, but it does go on.

Take little baby steps, honey, little steps. You won't believe us right now, but the old saying is true, it will get better in time.

 

xx

[hjbsrbab@hbibby.orangehom]

Tatiana, I am so so very sorry for your losses. It is such a blow to the system when someone dies, so for you to experience this many losses in a short space of time must be heartbreaking. Things may seem awful at the moment, and it's normal to feel as if your heart is bursting with all these dreadful emotions but you will come through this. You sound like a loving and caring person who loves those close to you very much. Remember all the good times you shared with each and no one ever goes, a little bit of them will always live on in you. Thinking of you, love Sam xoxox

[DarkLight]

Ohh I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through I know how it feels to lose several people in one short space of time!!

 

I lost my nana cynthia to cancer back in 1996 then I lost my great grandma then my great great gran died then I lost 3 cats then my other nana died & 3 puppies & in between all those deaths I had a lot of other personal problems to deal with.

 

I think the best thing for you would be to write down your feelings, maybe visit the graves of those you've lost & 'talk' to them as if they were still here, maybe see if you can find a berevement counsellor or something & maybe you could try one of these sites here too.

 

the 1st is a berevement forum for those who want to chat to others who have been through the berevement & the 2nd is a mentoring site where you can send out a 'call for help & advice' from others who have been in a similar situation

 

http://www.thelightbeyond.com

 

http://www.horsesmouth.co.uk

 

if you feel you need someone to chat to then I'm here for you ok

[sparkly1]

I am so sorry for all your losses, It isn't going to be easy but Babs gave you some sound advice there, there is nothing I can say to ease your pain, and nothing I can add to everyone's lovely warm wishes and advice for you. Be good to yourself, take care of yourself, and allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes, it's the only way hun.

 

*hugs*

 

xxx Sparkly1 xxx

[Naectegale]

Oh Tatiana,

 

How very sad you must feel right now - don't be afraid of the grief and rage - it is a natural part of the grieving process.

 

Try to remember the happier times you spent with your loved ones. Take each day at a time, and in time, things will get better.

 

I wish you well

 

xx N

[Mika Freaka =)]

Hey sweetypie

That could be of the saddest things iv read in my life...

I personally feel that you need to cry, until you cant anymore and you have felt that you grieved enough...

Maybe speak to someone who can relate to your pain or even just support you, a close friend or family member that knows what you going through...

 

I am so very sorry...

 

Hope you feel better soon, and i hope things get better soon

xoxo

Shamz

[cheshire cat]

Hello guys.

 

May be somebody knows how to escape from the pain related with losses of close people.

In August I lost my mom and one my close friend (he's also my ex boyfriend and we were truly friends), then in October dies my one more friend. And yesterday died my dear dear uncle who loved me as his own daughter.

And I don't know what happen?

I've been crying for last 3 months every night. And I can't stop. It seems that tears are going to eat my face soon. And nothing helps. I can't stop thinking about them, every night and day I recollect them and talk to them in my mind. And everytime it makes me cry and cry and cry.. How much water is in eyes?

And it feels like my heart is going to burst to bits.

Sometimes I feel angry on them because they left me alone here to live with this pain. You have no idea HOW MUCH I want to talk to them tell stories ask advice touch them laugh with them hug and kiss. But I'll never NEVER be able to do it ANYMORE. They were almost the only ones who could understand me who I could trust the most private themes. And I feel so broken and unprotected. Sometimes I want to crash all my dishes at home because I know that nobody ever can replace me my mom, my first man and my close friend... And that yesterday news about my uncle.. I can't find a place to calm, I don't know what to think.. I really miss them very very much. It's so hard to take..

 

Guys, sorry.. it was a scream of my soul.. just.. if there's somebody who went through the same situation.. please.. share how to do it quickler.. because it's impossible how much it hurts?

 

And thank you for listening.

 

(sorry for my bad english..)

 

 

Tatiana.

 

Hi Tatiana,

 

Sorry to hear about your loss... and a big hug to you for going through all these losses in such a short time.

 

all the heartache you are going through is normal, I have been there before. It is OK to cry... even if you do it everyday... let it all out of your system. What you are going through is very difficult to comprehend.. and it is normal for your body to react ... it is part of the healing process. And as much as you hate crying because you think it is painful, it is actually one of the best ways to get through this tough phase... allow your soul to grief your losses... until you are ready to move on...

 

I do understand how much you want to talk to them, be with them, share news with them...and it hurts not being able to... the best thing you can do is talk to them in your prayers... for they have loved you and somewhere out there, they might be listening to you. Talk about them with friends and family... keep their memory alive through you. The only way you truly lose someone is if you lose their memories... so keep their memory alive in your heart.

 

Losing a mother is very tough, and no matter how old you are, you feel unprotected, but unfortunately it is a normal process in life. Though it is shocking in the beginning and heartbreaking, you feel like an orphan even if you are 70 years old, for their love is special... the only thing that you can do is accept the fact that she is in a better place, always with you in your heart, talking to your soul. She will always stay alive in your heart... in your memories... so keep her their.. Every time you miss them, remember all the good memories even talk to her in your prayers... it sometimes make people feel better.

 

 

The only thing I can tell you, don't look for a quick fix for the pain... there is no quick way. You need time, and patience... it is not an easy process... but you have to go through it... until both your heart and soul are at peace with your loss.

I know it is difficult for you to see it now, but life will go on.. and you will feel less pain... though don't worry, they will always be in a special place in your heart... so you might have lost them phusically... but not mentally..

 

Stay strong, talk to friends.. share your feelings with people who shared the same loss... take your time... and grief... it is not a bad thing.. even if it is painful...

hugs and love... xxx

[Tatiana_tlt]

Thank you all for help and that you understand me..

You can't imagine how is your support important for me. You're letting me know that I am not alone now.

Today I feel a little better. Thanks to you all.

I see that Mika's fans are special people in universal. They are.. YOU are with big heart and soul. Thank you that you are here and that you found words to make me feel better. I really REALLY appreciate it!

 

When I was reading it I really felt that you are near me your hugs even heard your voices. And it helped me.

 

Thank you. My hugs, kisses and love to you all.