Autism

[Starrats]

Today I got the news that I have Classic Autism

 

And it freaks me out a bit, but also explains a lot

 

In total I went to school for 14 years, of those 14 years I was bullied or 14 years I was different but never knew what was wrong with me. My family was a mess Mom and dad where always fighting and my brother was diagnosed with ADHD so my entire childhood revolved around my hyper active annoying brother how got all the attention. My own problems where classified as "emotional problems because of the family situation" And off course "it's your own fault, just behave normal" So my entire live I have been stressed when I was around people because A) I didn't know what to say B) I was afraid to say/do something "abnormal" which would result in C) Lot's and lot's of stress and feeling depressed.

 

My mom always say's to me:

- drama queen (I overreacted to pain in her eyes)

- hysterical child (I could not sleep for days because she was making noise all night with her mid-life crisis party's)

- Just be/act normal for a change

 

And believe me when you are being called names by your mom and you don't know what your doing wrong it's very very hard, ESPECIALLY when that mom tells the entire family that your a hysterical drama queen, that can't act normal. That really really hurts All my life everything was always MY fault according to my mom.

 

And today I had my first lesson about autism and guess what? It was NOT my fault my senses are just more sensitive. I get headaches from sun light, I feel pain more intense, plus my hearing is much more sensitive. I hear sound more clearly and all sounds almost at the same volume. Like right now I can hear the TV in the living room very clearly, I can hear my hamster behind me drinking from her water bottle and I can hear my own music. ALL at the same time and almost at the same volume. And it irritates me like crazy because turning up the volume of my music won't erase the sound of the tv in the living room.

Plus hearing all these sound makes me more tired because my brain has to work overtime trying to proses them all.

So I get cranky very easy because I'm so damn tired but sleeping is also hard because I can hear every damn little noise. I'm lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep, and usually it takes me 12 hours to get those 5 hours of sleep.

My eyesight is also very good when it comes to seeing very very very small things up close. This is the only "Good" thing so far.

 

And off course there are those damn social situation problems.

 

I told all of this to my mom and her first reaction was:

Don't use this autism as a excuse to act like a hysterical drama queen

 

When she sad that I wanted to die

She still does not understand that I can't help it

And I just don't know what to do.

She still thinks I should act and react normal but I just can't because my brain works differently

 

I just needed to tell this somewhere because it's bugging me and making me more depressed, and stressed.

[keti]

That is an really awful story, Starrats I am truly very sorry to hear about your sad childhood story and your mother and, now, about your autism

This is the first time I hear a story like this in real life.

I really don't know how could I help... I wish I was there with you to hug you

[Mary]

Oh hun...that must be a really hard thing to deal with!

 

But now that you know what you have, maybe it will be easier to deal with it, knowing that it's not your fault, and that you are NOT abnormal!

It will probably take some time for other people to understand, but eventually they will. I know it's easy to talk, but don't feel like that...you have a problem, yes, but you're aware of it, and you can at least try to solve some situations (and hopefully others will make an effort too).

 

And we're always here, so...you'll always have someone to talk to and make you feel a bit better! *hugs*

[kath]

Hi Patricia,

 

I hope that even being able to write it down has helped..............I am sure that it has.

 

I personally find that it helps to have a 'label'................I know that some people don't like them...............but when one has suffered for years I always find it a relief to find that the symptons 'fit' and that there is an explaination for it all. I am glad for your sake that you have this diagnosis as it has obviously helped you to make sense of things that have seemed confusing for years. I am so sorry about your mum's attitude. It really must hurt. But as an adult you are strong enough to try and build a way forward for yourself I am sure. Now that you know what has been the cause of your difficulties it will maybe be easier to learn to cope with it. I am sure that there will be some support groups or websites where you can benefit from other peoples experiences. The Autism Spectrum is very wide as I am sure you are aware but people with Autism often have an awful lot to offer.

[Starrats]

thanks everybody

[allegra]

hey Starr...

 

when you are stressed please wear your tiger fancy dress and say:

ROOOOAAARR

 

and RELAX take it easy

 

new music cooming soon for you

 

[England]

I'm sorry about that, It must be really hard

 

I hope your mom understands soon, and I hope everything is ok:flowers2:

mfc is always here:huglove:

Edited April 4, 2009 by England

[berntsok]

I can totally get being freaked out but almost relieved at having a diagnosis to tell you why you don't seem to feel or react in the same way as people around you. Unfortunately, people who have never experienced the world the way you do will never really be able to understand it, and may or may not be able to come close to understanding based on what you are able to tell them. It can really hurt to be told 'just stop being that way' by someone you care about who doesn't understand. I get a sense from your post, though, that you have a great deal of inner strength.

 

The CEO where I work does a lot of work with Autism Canada to try to help educate people about autism. When he started sending out information, I was surprised how little I knew. I didn't realize how many different forms of autism there were, or how many different levels of ability to interact. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but I really respect and appreciate your writing about your experience, so that those of us who read your post can have a better understanding. Thanks and blessings.

[chickadee]

I have a very close family member who has an autism spectrum disorder. It can be a difficult thing to wrap your head around. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum being that way, but I hope that in time she will come round. Some of it is just that she needs some education on this topic, but I'm not sure if she will be receptive to you trying to give that information to her. Is there anyone else you trust that you can talk to about this who could then talk to her?

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel and there are support groups around, both online and out there in RL. One of the best things you can do is find out as much as you can, after all, knowledge is power, and the better informed you are, the easier it can be to handle. And if you don't have a good support network at home, find that support somewhere else. It really does help to know that you're not the only person going through it, and although you probably know that in an academic sense, it makes such a difference to actually know some people going through it.

 

All the best with everything.

 

CD

[bonzaboy]

Hey, don't let it freak you out. I'm autistic as well (AS), and I think of it as a gift, rather than a disorder. I was diagnosed at 14, (three years ago), and at first, I wasn't very accepting of it at all. I was always the abnormal one at school, and to me, this seemed to make it worse! I didn't want anyone to know that I was different, not even my family. I thought the fact that my parents were making me see a psychologist once a fortnight was just plain weird, and told my friends that I had orthodontist appointments, even though I didn't have braces anymore. I wanted nothing more than to be 'normal'.

 

But after about 6 months, it occurred to me that I wasn't that different to others. Autism isn't something that you can see, just by looking at someone. It just meant that my social skills weren't quite as developed as other people my age. They were something that I had to physically learn, rather than them being intuitive. I decided that this was something my friends should know, so that they could help me with my social skills and behaviours. So that they could let me know if I was, to quote my friend "Committing social suicide for the fifteenth time this week".

 

I decided to embrace my difference, and even now, I think that it's important that others should know, to help them understand people like us. Because we neurodiverse people (people on the autism spectrum) see the world in a very different way to neurotypicals (people not on the autism spectrum).

 

As for your mum, I know that accepting someone that you love is different can be a very hard thing to do. My father's side of the family refused to accept the fact that I was different. to quote my grandmother, "There's nothing wrong with that child, she's just high spirited", and that "Seeing all these people will break her spirit".

It can be a hard thing to swallow, and even my mum said that at first, she didn't want to accept the fact that I was different. She was frustrated, because all this time, she'd been getting nowhere with me, and other parents who had no idea about me were criticising her parental ability.

 

What you need to do, in my opinion, is try and sit down with your mum and explain to her about autism, and that it's not just an excuse to be a hypochondriac. I'd suggest looking for a dvd by Tony Atwood for your mum, because he explains all this extremely well.

 

I also just love this book. I found it at my library, and it's brilliant.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Cats-Have-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1843104814/ref=pd_sim_b_4

 

Good luck, and if you ever need to talk, PM me. =]

[nico_collard]

Today I got the news that I have Classic Autism

 

And it freaks me out a bit, but also explains a lot

 

In total I went to school for 14 years, of those 14 years I was bullied or 14 years I was different but never knew what was wrong with me. My family was a mess Mom and dad where always fighting and my brother was diagnosed with ADHD so my entire childhood revolved around my hyper active annoying brother how got all the attention. My own problems where classified as "emotional problems because of the family situation" And off course "it's your own fault, just behave normal" So my entire live I have been stressed when I was around people because A) I didn't know what to say B) I was afraid to say/do something "abnormal" which would result in C) Lot's and lot's of stress and feeling depressed.

 

My mom always say's to me:

- drama queen (I overreacted to pain in her eyes)

- hysterical child (I could not sleep for days because she was making noise all night with her mid-life crisis party's)

- Just be/act normal for a change

 

And believe me when you are being called names by your mom and you don't know what your doing wrong it's very very hard, ESPECIALLY when that mom tells the entire family that your a hysterical drama queen, that can't act normal. That really really hurts All my life everything was always MY fault according to my mom.

 

And today I had my first lesson about autism and guess what? It was NOT my fault my senses are just more sensitive. I get headaches from sun light, I feel pain more intense, plus my hearing is much more sensitive. I hear sound more clearly and all sounds almost at the same volume. Like right now I can hear the TV in the living room very clearly, I can hear my hamster behind me drinking from her water bottle and I can hear my own music. ALL at the same time and almost at the same volume. And it irritates me like crazy because turning up the volume of my music won't erase the sound of the tv in the living room.

Plus hearing all these sound makes me more tired because my brain has to work overtime trying to proses them all.

So I get cranky very easy because I'm so damn tired but sleeping is also hard because I can hear every damn little noise. I'm lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep, and usually it takes me 12 hours to get those 5 hours of sleep.

My eyesight is also very good when it comes to seeing very very very small things up close. This is the only "Good" thing so far.

 

And off course there are those damn social situation problems.

 

I told all of this to my mom and her first reaction was:

Don't use this autism as a excuse to act like a hysterical drama queen

 

When she sad that I wanted to die

She still does not understand that I can't help it

And I just don't know what to do.

She still thinks I should act and react normal but I just can't because my brain works differently

 

I just needed to tell this somewhere because it's bugging me and making me more depressed, and stressed.

 

I hate to say this, because I don't know your mother, but she sounds kind of selfish... and she needs to learn a bit more about autism.

 

 

There are a few of us on here that either have autism, or have someone close to them that have it. My niece has autism (well technically it's pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified *shrugs*), and my mum thinks I have autism as well because I was exactly the same as my niece at the same age...

 

Oh, and I just remembered something... my niece is what you'd call a "drama queen" because when something sets her off, she usually throws a tantrum. Anyway, my mum wants her to be a flower girl at a ball, and my aunt doesn't want her there because she might embarrass the family. We (my sister, brother, myself and my niece) were uninvited from a family reunion because my niece has her acting out moments... It isn't fair that some members of the family are like that, and you hope that they understand, but I don't expect her to.

 

Anyways, there's always someone to talk to, and i understand exactly what you mean when you say about feeling different and not knowing why...

 

Hey, don't let it freak you out. I'm autistic as well (AS), and I think of it as a gift, rather than a disorder. I was diagnosed at 14, (three years ago), and at first, I wasn't very accepting of it at all. I was always the abnormal one at school, and to me, this seemed to make it worse! I didn't want anyone to know that I was different, not even my family. I thought the fact that my parents were making me see a psychologist once a fortnight was just plain weird, and told my friends that I had orthodontist appointments, even though I didn't have braces anymore. I wanted nothing more than to be 'normal'.

 

But after about 6 months, it occurred to me that I wasn't that different to others. Autism isn't something that you can see, just by looking at someone. It just meant that my social skills weren't quite as developed as other people my age. They were something that I had to physically learn, rather than them being intuitive. I decided that this was something my friends should know, so that they could help me with my social skills and behaviours. So that they could let me know if I was, to quote my friend "Committing social suicide for the fifteenth time this week".

 

I decided to embrace my difference, and even now, I think that it's important that others should know, to help them understand people like us. Because we neurodiverse people (people on the autism spectrum) see the world in a very different way to neurotypicals (people not on the autism spectrum).

 

As for your mum, I know that accepting someone that you love is different can be a very hard thing to do. My father's side of the family refused to accept the fact that I was different. to quote my grandmother, "There's nothing wrong with that child, she's just high spirited", and that "Seeing all these people will break her spirit".

It can be a hard thing to swallow, and even my mum said that at first, she didn't want to accept the fact that I was different. She was frustrated, because all this time, she'd been getting nowhere with me, and other parents who had no idea about me were criticising her parental ability.

 

What you need to do, in my opinion, is try and sit down with your mum and explain to her about autism, and that it's not just an excuse to be a hypochondriac. I'd suggest looking for a dvd by Tony Atwood for your mum, because he explains all this extremely well.

 

I also just love this book. I found it at my library, and it's brilliant.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Cats-Have-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1843104814/ref=pd_sim_b_4

 

Good luck, and if you ever need to talk, PM me. =]

 

I bet once your friends knew, they were a lot more understanding about you committing social suicide

[suzie]

First of all, I would like to thank you for sharing it all with us. I would have never guessed that these symptoms (hearing sounds at a more intense level..etc) are classified as autism and also that several types of autism exist... I personally only ever knew one person with autism (+Rainman :-)) but in reality, there might be several people I know with similar ’social’ problems that are likely to be rooted in a kind of autism they have.

 

So, a first step is to recognise the cause of the problem you have – that’s done in your case. I think you are very lucky that someone recognised this and hasn’t simply put down your behaviour as being anti-social. I have a feeling that in some countries you would get psycholocial treatment whilst it is a physiological problem that roots in the working of your body (your senses).

 

I also understand that some people (like your mum) who are less open to scientific explanations, will always be reluctant to accept this. However, the most important thing is that you know your condition more than they do and accept yourself as you are. Perhaps you can also find something to ease the symptoms (e.g. using earplugs at home when you want to study / relax..etc – however silly it might sound)

 

At the same time, I am absolutely sure that your special condition also has its positive sides, you simply need some more time to realise what these might be. A colleague of mine, for example, recently told me about her 50-year uncle (a well-paid professional in an IT company) who has autism and as a result of that, he has such a special brain that he remembers everything that happened on particular dates in history and can do calculations in no time. So, it might be just a matter of time before you realise how you can use your special abilities, although sharing information on your condition with others is a good start already.

 

My action now will be to look up autism on the net and read about it in more detail so that I can better understand some people’s behaviour. I did the same 2 years ago on ’dyslexia’ – you know the reason why – and I was amazed to read scientific explanations on the extra abilities these people would often have and how differently dyslexia is treated in other countries. So, thanks again for the mind-opening you did for me.

[Nielo]

Even though it sucks that you have autism, being diagnosed with it is probably also a relief. I hope it'll help you make sense of things.

As for your mum, it may help if she knew more about it. Maybe you could give her some information on it. I hope she'll eventually accept that you really do have autism, and you're not a 'drama queen'.

 

 

I hope to see you at the next meeting of the Dutchies - whenever that may be.

[Naectegale]

Hi Starrats

 

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your mum. Maybe she just needs some time - could she meet with your doctors so that they can explain things to her? Is there any other family member or close friend who could help?

 

Your post is very articulate - thank you for sharing with us. It is good that we get to hear about these types of condition from someone who is experiencing it first hand.

 

I hope you find the support you need.

[Neiobi]

Wow I'm so sorry

I wish thing weren't so hard on you... And you don't deserve such treatment from your mom.. And now being diagnosed with this. It must be so hard.

I'm glad you shared this with us, it helps not having to process it all on your own... I'm sorry that I can't help or relief your pain.

[hjbsrbab@hbibby.orangehom]

Patricia, I applaud you on your bravery to share this story so articulately. I am a 16 going on 17 year old girl who suffers from Asperger's, so I understand exactly what you are going through. You should sit down with your mum like others have said, help her and explain just what autism is, you're NOT being a drama queen!

 

I was diagnosed when I was 4. I found interacting with children my age difficult and still do. I 'stimmed' by rocking back and forth on a chair, which is quite unnerving to other people. I used to flap my hands when excited and still do not find friendships easy to make...but I look upon it as a part of me, not a disorder. Without AS, I would not be me. I am now proud of having AS, despite the difficulties such as hyper sensitive senses! If you need a friend, here's one. Take care and hope you can help your mum realise the extent of autism. Love 'n' hugs, Sam xoxox