The MFC: What happened here? We need some group therapy

[stien]

phew, after a looooong reading-session:

 

I'v been here 8 months or something. I've always liked reading others jokes, stories, opinions. It took me a while to start posting myself. The fact that this is not my mother-tongue certainly has a lot to do with that.

 

It's very logical that people who can explain it well, get heared. So, a lot of the time I get 'ignored' too. But on the other hand: it's not because you don't have 10 quotes of your post, that you are ignored, is it?

 

About the more specific threads: I read them, I read the Apples (always with a BIIIG smile), I sometimes read the Aussie-thread, the Dutch thread. I know that if I wanted to start posting there, I can do that anytime. It's indeed my very own decision whether to participate or to stay at the sideline.

 

I also think it's logical that people don't interact with newbies immediately, but to me it looks like they're always respectful and that questions are answered (when a poor newbie asks once again about chicken).

 

This is a HUGE community, and like living in a big city: you have your favourite café, your favourite bench in the park,...

 

I haven't interacted more privately with a lot of people, only the ones that I've met while queuing in Brussels. I'm fine with that. I never came to this forum to make friends for life (which doesn't imply that I'm not open for it), I came to talk about that one cd that I couldn't get out of cd-player!

 

I agree that, once Mika start performing again, things will tone down, and we will be able to focus on that, new pictures, new video's, (new songs?) ect.

 

 

that was a long one!

greets,

-Stien-

[Gatagordinha]

This forum and your interactions with others are whatever you want them to be. The onus is not on others to make you feel as if you belong. It's up to you to include yourself in whichever way you want.

 

I'm always crashing these teen threads because a lot of you are hilarious and I like to hear your points of view because the world is so different from when I was a teen and so are your perspectives. I don't have any illusions that I fit in with your group and it doesn't matter. I've got my own close friendships that have been forged through many, many hours spent off MFC or in semi-private threads and I expect others to have the same.

 

That doesn't mean we can't all come together and chit chat and exchange ideas on the forum.

 

I agree, and I'm the same age as Christine, so I understand her comments about the younger ones too.

 

The most fascinating and entertaining and enlightening thing about MFC for me - apart from the feed of knowledge into Mika's every waking moment of course - is the variety of ages and nationalities and perspectives. In real life I don't exchange views on anything with teenagers (not since I gave up teaching anyway) because I don't know any!! Here, I am always fascinated to see inside the minds of some of our younger members and I really enjoy their views and am constantly impressed by their worldliness and intelligence. Sorry if that sounds patronising (it's not meant that way) but really, some of my favourite members on here are very young, compared to me anyway!!

 

That said, I wouldn't want to crash the 'young' threads any more than I would try to write coherent Dutch in the Dutch Thread . Not because I am antisocial, but just because you can't be everywhere and why should you want to be?? That's life. You can't be friends with everyone. You cannot get on with everyone you meet in life, it's not possible. As you get older you realise this more and more and it ceases to bother you as much.

 

Cliques I'm afraid are inevitable, it is human nature for people to form social groupings, but if you don't like cliques then stay away from them and do as I do, just lurk everywhere and post about what really does interest you - mikagasm anyone?? - and get a thick skin if necessary!

 

And never forget that MFC is unnaturally friendly and polite and nice compared to 99.99% of other internet forums and chatrooms. We don't know we are born here!!

[chickadee]

phew, after a looooong reading-session:

 

I'v been here 8 months or something. I've always liked reading others jokes, stories, opinions. It took me a while to start posting myself. The fact that this is not my mother-tongue certainly has a lot to do with that.

 

It's very logical that people who can explain it well, get heared. So, a lot of the time I get 'ignored' too. But on the other hand: it's not because you don't have 10 quotes of your post, that you are ignored, is it?

 

About the more specific threads: I read them, I read the Apples (always with a BIIIG smile), I sometimes read the Aussie-thread, the Dutch thread. I know that if I wanted to start posting there, I can do that anytime. It's indeed my very own decision whether to participate or to stay at the sideline.

 

I also think it's logical that people don't interact with newbies immediately, but to me it looks like they're always respectful and that questions are answered (when a poor newbie asks once again about chicken).

 

This is a HUGE community, and like living in a big city: you have your favourite café, your favourite bench in the park,...

 

I haven't interacted more privately with a lot of people, only the ones that I've met while queuing in Brussels. I'm fine with that. I never came to this forum to make friends for life (which doesn't imply that I'm not open for it), I came to talk about that one cd that I couldn't get out of cd-player!

I agree that, once Mika start performing again, things will tone down, and we will be able to focus on that, new pictures, new video's, (new songs?) ect.

 

 

that was a long one!

greets,

-Stien-

 

That made me smile.

Yes, not a day goes by in this house that Mika is not heard by someone, be it in the car, in my son's room (he has some of the singles), toddler miss asking to watch Lollipop (again) or putting the whole album on just to sing along to. And I was in a really crappy mood earlier this afternoon and hopped into the car to go pick up son and the tape started (yes, my car is that old it doesn't have a C.D. player and i had to tape the C.D. to be able to play it in my car) and it was Mika in the middle of Grace Kelly and I just had to smile. I couldn't help myself. I see him in my minds eye as I hear it, I can picture what he looks like when he's singing it. It certainly cheers a girl up.

[stien]

That made me smile.

Yes, not a day goes by in this house that Mika is not heard by someone, be it in the car, in my son's room (he has some of the singles), toddler miss asking to watch Lollipop (again) or putting the whole album on just to sing along to. And I was in a really crappy mood earlier this afternoon and hopped into the car to go pick up son and the tape started (yes, my car is that old it doesn't have a C.D. player and i had to tape the C.D. to be able to play it in my car) and it was Mika in the middle of Grace Kelly and I just had to smile. I couldn't help myself. I see him in my minds eye as I hear it, I can picture what he looks like when he's singing it. It certainly cheers a girl up.

 

my car still has tapes too the quality of my Mika-tape is crap! Really, the voices are too high and the tape plays too fast, so Love Today is even higher:boxed:

 

but no way I'm throwing that tape away!

[crina]

well, i'm here for almost a year and at the begining were a few and very hungry about everything related to mika. but as the time passed and mika became bigger, the forum was growing too and thats a good thing. doesn we all wanted this? that more people to know about how great mika is and join us? but the bigger we are it's imposible that small problems not to come. it's normal because we are different , from different countries and with different attitudes and beliefs. but in the end we are here for one single reason and for one rsingle purpose : MIKA. and that's all that matters?

who made the scrapbook? THE MFC

who made the birtdday gift? THE MFC

who made the relax , take it easy book? THE MFC

who made the a year in cartoon motion album? THE MFC

THE MFC . that's who we are and we are a big family and that's the way we shouls remain. but like any family we have small issues that can be fixed.

THE MFC is the place where people are crying or laughing, where people says that are expecting a baby or getting married or having an operation, or having an exam or take the drive license or buying a new dress or watch oer shoes. that's what MFC is.

long live the mfc and i'm proud to be one of you.

[BonjourMika1990]

Hey guys,

I'm about to head of too school...I didn't go in yesterday

 

Anyways, I'm glad to see that there havn't been battles here since yesterday... I think people are working things out and kinda seeing other perspecitives which is really good.

 

This thread can help if we just listen to one another...

 

The MFC is still "fun"...but I still feel like on issues about MIKA people are all very sensative and quick to put their opinions out there, even if it will hurt others... Especially when we talk about his sexuality or his relationship with the fans...and of course the idea of him "changing"... When these topics come up, people put up their gaurds and don't want to listen...I think that's the problem. But really, if everyone were more "gentle" in the way they approach those issues than hurt feelings can be avoided.

[Mika4Life13]

I like how that i barely speak french and french people try and speak english for me *hugs* It's nice.

 

 

And i do it for them too even if all I can say is "J'aime cheese"

[HollyD]

I like how that i barely speak french and french people try and speak english for me *hugs* It's nice.

 

 

And i do it for them too even if all I can say is "J'aime cheese"

 

Je T' Aime... that is my contribution

[Ioana]

I don't know about the fun part,I still think it's the same,just that I may have changed.

I could go on about the Knitting Thread and what it almost became,but that's a closed issue,and it's best

 

About people being mean...they've always been around,maybe u just now got in contact with them

I know it's not pleasent but just ignore and avoid them ,it's the only way around it:wink2:

It's mainly those who in real life wouln't act like that and feel the need to impose themselves or make someone feel as miserable as they once may have felt

 

I agree with Nielo,the MFC is totally welcoming,and the majority of people make you feel good here

I know I loved it when I was new heree and I have found real friends here too

 

 

I don't feel like fighting to be apart of any special cliques, so I don't. We have alliances here: people who want to make this place like freakin highschool.

 

yes, that has always been annoying but I for one don't even feel the urge to get in any clique and I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone

 

Feel free to start hating me,or keep hating me

[Gatagordinha]

Hey guys,

I'm about to head of too school...I didn't go in yesterday

 

Anyways, I'm glad to see that there havn't been battles here since yesterday... I think people are working things out and kinda seeing other perspecitives which is really good.

 

This thread can help if we just listen to one another...

 

The MFC is still "fun"...but I still feel like on issues about MIKA people are all very sensative and quick to put their opinions out there, even if it will hurt others... Especially when we talk about his sexuality or his relationship with the fans...and of course the idea of him "changing"... When these topics come up, people put up their gaurds and don't want to listen...I think that's the problem. But really, if everyone were more "gentle" in the way they approach those issues than hurt feelings can be avoided.

 

You are right Melanie, it is very important for everyone to realise that the written word on a forum can be open to misinterpretation and that sarcasm especially is very easily missed. Perhaps in some cultures, sarcasm is missed completely! We should always be aware of that as an international forum. I believe the emoticon for sarcasm is the infamous , well it works for me.

 

Opinions need to be worded carefully and sensitively and other people's opinions respected. I really do think that generally this is a respectful forum though.

 

If everyone took a second to read over their posts before hitting Submit Reply I am sure a lot of hurt feelings could be avoided, too.

 

I hope you're feeling better about all this today.

[Mika4Life13]

 

In some cases... for example, the Aussie thread is overrun with Canadians and Americans...

 

And Freddie...

 

 

 

 

Ans we all lobe you too M!

 

 

 

Oooooh... why doesn't anyone come up and talk about those sorts of things with me?

 

Wait a minute... *thinks of various MSN convos with DC Kelz and Bec*

 

 

 

That was intersting...

 

And he totally is hot... and has the same b'day as me...

 

 

It's because I love you Neeks.

 

 

Aww thanks nico, I aime you, and you're so awesome.

 

 

LOL. It's ok to talk about it when you're old..er...lol. No offense but when you just want to TRY and be innocent....you can't because every corner you take there isd always a kelzy, dc, bec, or you

 

 

 

:eek: You're so lucky. We went through a PPRC faise where artsyu and i would write about ryan reynolds hacking the puppy

[Mika4Life13]

Je T' Aime... that is my contribution

J'aime fromage. BAM BOM BAM.

[Christine]

I'm not really sure that I'm worried about making friends on here.... but I really like people to like me:wub2:

 

But the two are naturally linked, especially if you crave validation. Obviously people are going to give more attention to their friends, especially in social groups like the Aussie thread.

 

Which is not to say you're unliked if you don't get a lot of personal attention, but personal attention is more likely to stem from personal relationships.

 

This is the dynamics of real life and MFC is not some special case where everyone relates each other on exactly the same level regardless of their history and feelings towards one another.

 

If friendship is not what you're looking for then maybe, as Gata has mentioned, it's best to stick with news or non-silly Mika threads where your opinions are going to carry more weight, especially if you've got something thoughtful to contribute.

 

We need to fill our heads with MIKA-ness. That is, after all, why we all came here, not to have everyone validate our opinions on all aspects of our lives, not provide us solace/advice/validation. If you get that here, well great!

 

Amen sista!

 

For some people, anyway *waits for Aussie tour.....goes grey whilst waiting*

 

I am interested in Mika's tours no matter where he is. Canada has been waiting 10 months for him to come back but that's what the MFC was for. To keep up to date with videos and photos and reports while waiting for the real thing. If Mika was in Toronto every other week I wouldn't need MFC because I could witness it all first hand.

 

I saw a difference in the "Mika's deleted his private myspace account" thread. I think a few were saying about Mika not caring about his fans anymore?

 

I think I was the first to mention something along those lines that prompted talk of him not caring anymore, but it was more of a nostalgic thing. Like our baby is growing up and doesn't need us anymore. Not that he's a jerk who doesn't give a sh*t.

 

His career started at a grassroots level but it's moving under different forces now, that's all.

 

Nah... not 99%...

 

Either Christine or Sarie I would say...

 

(I'm kidding!)

 

I don't see me or Sarie ever involved in catfights. We say what we think and other people get their knickers in a knot because they can't handle it. I could keep all my opinions to myself, but what fun would that be?

 

Also, I don't think it's fair to compare how the forum was in the beginning to now... it has changed so much in such a short space of time, and i think people need to focus on what is happening now, rather than wishing for it to be like it was before...

 

I totally agree with that.

 

It has to be better than the bitching that happened the last two times Mika had a break... like the Britney thread... or the original Saranayde thread... *glares at Christine*

 

Are you kidding me? I single-handedly defended Saranayde against a 2-day onslaught of hostile and catty comments.

 

Not so with Britney I'll admit, but really, the woman doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

 

And I was in a really crappy mood earlier this afternoon and hopped into the car to go pick up son and the tape started (yes, my car is that old it doesn't have a C.D. player and i had to tape the C.D. to be able to play it in my car) and it was Mika in the middle of Grace Kelly and I just had to smile. I couldn't help myself. I see him in my minds eye as I hear it, I can picture what he looks like when he's singing it. It certainly cheers a girl up.

 

Ah yes, Mika is my happy place.

 

I find it difficult to be objective about his songs now because my love of his music is entirely wrapped up in his facial expressions and his dancing and his mannerisms and just memories of concerts and MFC in general.

[Mika4Life13]

*points to the top of christine's post because she is too lazy to use post reply instead of quick reply and edit it out*

 

I am best friends with Arts, because we have sooo much in common. It's gilr love, nothing gay about it in our eyes

[Kata]

I don't think anyone in here makes a post with the intention to hurt others, so to keep talking about those "mean" people is a bit unfair in my opinion. We all have different ways to express ourselves and if we have to consider if any word we write could possibly offend someone and rephrase it over and over until we're sure the post is 100% diplomatic, then it would be very hard to be ourselves in here. In the cases where I have become aware that I have uninetentionally made someone feel bad with something I've posted, I've always tried to solve it by PM afterwards, but I haven't changed the way I post, simply because I don't think it would be much fun to be here if I can't state my opinion and say what I feel with my own words

[dcdeb]

So many thoughtful posts on this matter... so many people I want to

say, "I hear you!" or "YESSSSSSSS!" to...

 

Let me start with the Wisdom of Blue Sky:

 

If things are annoying you can always turn off your computer and walk away for a snack or something. You may disagree with me, but I am a total believer in the philosophy that "Things only get to you if you let them. "

 

I guess I like this quote b/c it's basically what I was trying to

say! Thanks for the clarity, Blue Sky!

 

Hi,

I'm Greta

 

*walks in*

 

I've been Mikafied almost one year ago and now I'm MFC addicted...

hope to keep my mental sanity with your help.

 

Thank you

 

Greta, I had no idea you were the head of Mikaholics Anonymous!

Sign me up, quick!

 

 

And I'm sure no-one will comment on this post either... again, I don't care because people will read it...

 

Well, I just HAD to comment on it -- but I didn't read it

 

Well after all is said and done - this place must be doing something right, 'coz we all seem to manage to find our way here day to day.

 

Even when we're:

 

-sick

-studying

-have husbands who'd rather be getting our attention *waves at closetmikafan*

-have kids who need clean underwear and dinner

-at work!

-at a family function

 

(ok, so maybe the last 4 points totally apply to me)

 

And as much as we say this place is about MIKA, I think sometimes it's MFCers that draw us back in.

 

Um, no, those 4 aren't just for you

 

And I agree with you totally! To paraphrase some old ad slogan that's

rolling around in my brain: "I came for the MIKA, I stayed for the MFC'ers!"

 

This is STILL a fun place, IMO. It has its problems, it's not perfect,

just like everything else in this world. But it's still a pretty darn

great place filled with pretty darn great people! Again, IMO...

 

This is a HUGE community, and like living in a big city: you have your favourite café, your favourite bench in the park,...

 

I just loved that analogy. It's true -- I have my favorite spots to

hang out here, but that doesn't mean I don't like to swing by and

visit other pubs or parks now and then.

 

You are right Melanie, it is very important for everyone to realise that the written word on a forum can be open to misinterpretation and that sarcasm especially is very easily missed. Perhaps in some cultures, sarcasm is missed completely! We should always be aware of that as an international forum. I believe the emoticon for sarcasm is the infamous , well it works for me.

 

Opinions need to be worded carefully and sensitively and other people's opinions respected. I really do think that generally this is a respectful forum though.

 

If everyone took a second to read over their posts before hitting Submit Reply I am sure a lot of hurt feelings could be avoided, too.

 

Yes, Gata, and I think we've said this before -- basically, think twice

and post once. Hopefully, if you think before you post you

won't have to apologize or re-explain or get defensive over something

insensitive or thoughtless that you wrote in haste.

 

Ah yes, Mika is my happy place.

 

I can scarcely believe you (as in "you, of all people" wrote that!

 

In the Disney circles I frequent, we call it our "Laughing Place" --

mine used to be Disney World, specifically standing on Main Street

watching the SpectroMagic parade. But I can safely say that

MIKA is my Laughing Place now!

 

And to those of you whose posts I *didn't* comment on -- that doesn't

mean I didn't read them or consider them or find them valid! It just

means that I'm running out of MFC time, plus I know that

nobody wants to read a million more words from

me! Honest!

 

dcdeb

[HollyD]

I don't think anyone in here makes a post with the intention to hurt others, so to keep talking about those "mean" people is a bit unfair in my opinion. We all have different ways to express ourselves and if we have to consider if any word we write could possibly offend someone and rephrase it over and over until we're sure the post is 100% diplomatic, then it would be very hard to be ourselves in here. In the cases where I have become aware that I have uninetentionally made someone feel bad with something I've posted, I've always tried to solve it by PM afterwards, but I haven't changed the way I post, simply because I don't think it would be much fun to be here if I can't state my opinion and say what I feel with my own words

 

True dat!

[Christine]

I can scarcely believe you (as in "you, of all people" wrote that!

 

Well why else would I be fawning over this boy all this time?

 

As you know I'm just about as cynical as they come and certainly some of the logistics surrounding his concerts and cancellations have been a bit stressful, but if he wasn't my happy place I would have lost interest in him by now.

 

I can't really relate to people who feel constant angst or bitterness towards him. If most things Mika don't make you happy, find something else to focus on.

[HollyD]

Mika makes me extremely happy! As does the MFC! ... or I would not be here ALL of the time, *when I am suppose to be working*

I noticed all of the cliques too, but after talking with everyone and seeing the different points of view.... I feel so much 'better' now about everything and all of the changes that have occured here. The MFC is just like anything else in life..... what you make it. And I chose to have a great time, meet people, make friends, feel at home, ENJOY my happy place... so I chose not to let anyone here get me down, I have a right to be here - just as they do!

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

Ok heres my little input ...

 

The MFC has become clicky in my opinion , thats bound to happen , a year ago a lot of bonds were formed as we had very few people so everyone talked to everyone! .. and generally most people got on very well , so those links have been held.

 

I think also so many people especially in Europe have met , some a good few times and that means that solid friendships have been formed not virtually but actually in real life . I see those people generally chatting with the same people and thats bound to happen me thinks

 

Time zones are a large part , generally I dont think us Eurpoeans generally get to know some of the USA / Canada and other time zones as well as we do when we are in the same time zone

 

In this thread I have read direct comments like "ohh I dont know why that one is liked ??? ,or adored" .. that will only get on peoples nerves and never ever solve the issue .......,thats the sort of comments that drive people apart.

 

We are here for Mika , Mika has enough of the world against him , its really upto as a group and hopefully as friends to support him .. AND each other!!

 

On line is totally differenr to meeting someone in person , in general people are what they say but on the other side Ive thought mmm Im not too sure of that person and in real life they are fabby !

 

I say we take a week of posting in threads we dont usually do to get to know other people

[mandilambi]

That's an interesting idea, Freddie.... I know I am usually one to stick in the same topics, because I can generally only come online in the evenings....but it would be nice to meet new people.

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

That's an interesting idea, Freddie.... I know I am usually one to stick in the same topics, because I can generally only come online in the evenings....but it would be nice to meet new people.

 

Thanks:thumb_yello:

 

Serious it would make a HUGE difference , just mix it all up for a week , everyone gets to know everyone! , I feel there are loads and loads I dont chat with .. reason .. I feel they dont like me , they dont quote me or I just dont know them:wink2:

[vanessa]

Ok heres my little input ...

 

The MFC has become clicky in my opinion , thats bound to happen , a year ago a lot of bonds were formed as we had very few people so everyone talked to everyone! .. and generally most people got on very well , so those links have been held.

 

I think also so many people especially in Europe have met , some a good few times and that means that solid friendships have been formed not virtually but actually in real life . I see those people generally chatting with the same people and thats bound to happen me thinks

 

Time zones are a large part , generally I dont think us Eurpoeans generally get to know some of the USA / Canada and other time zones as well as we do when we are in the same time zone

 

In this thread I have read direct comments like "ohh I dont know why that one is liked ??? ,or adored" .. that will only get on peoples nerves and never ever solve the issue .......,thats the sort of comments that drive people apart.

 

We are here for Mika , Mika has enough of the world against him , its really upto as a group and hopefully as friends to support him .. AND each other!!

 

On line is totally differenr to meeting someone in person , in general people are what they say but on the other side Ive thought mmm Im not too sure of that person and in real life they are fabby !

 

I say we take a week of posting in threads we dont usually do to get to know other people

 

I agree with your opinion !

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

I agree with your opinion !

 

Thanks , I just feel we need something solid .. I have see the changes too

[mandilambi]

Thanks:thumb_yello:

 

Serious it would make a HUGE difference , just mix it all up for a week , everyone gets to know everyone! , I feel there are loads and loads I dont chat with .. reason .. I feel they dont like me , they dont quote me or I just dont know them:wink2:

 

Well, I am quoting you now, so I do like ya.

 

I suppose many people may feel the same way as you do!