Mika's Dad

[sariflor]

Oh and adding to it, the "professionality" comment is also funny, judging by how his blog has been run.

 

I find it extremely cute and endearing how he didn't have the faintest idea of how people could comment on his blog, and asked the fans for help, but it's hardly professional is it?

 

So yes, in response to M. Th, if Mr Penniman as you call him is to organise things in a more professional way, maybe he needs to employ more professional people for the task ,as whoever he is using now are clearly not up to scratch .

 

I'd like to add though, for this not to be taken out of context, that I'm not just pointlessly attacking him here, but merely stating this as a response to Marie Therese's post saying that Mika needs to regain control of MFC in order to make it more professional.

Just for the record )

 

As I said, I find it refreshing and cute how he doesn't have a clue of what he's doing with his blog, but he can't expect to run his "real" site or MFC in the same way, and will have to employ someone who knows how to do these things properly, or it will all cave down on him. And us.

 

[Blue Sky]

Why do we need to know what his family members look like?

 

So you can say you have seen them or met them? So you can harass them for non-existent special privileges? Or no reason other than simple curiousity/nosiness ?

 

I don't get it.

 

They asked not to be on here, we made guidelines respecting that...is it so hard for fans to leave them alone?

 

****

 

And Mika could never run MFC, he (and we) all know that. He couldn't run his blog till Christine told him how to. (Did you ever get those chocs Christine....?)

 

 

And sorry but I don't think this topic is at all related to the degree of articulate-ness one brings to the forum. Some of us may indeed be more articulate than others, but not all of us blow our own trumpets at the same volume.

[marie-andrée de rougemont]

Marie-Thérèse

 

From Christine : 'Mika has indicated that he wants the forum to continue on in the way it's been run in the past. There is no guarantee things will not change, but you may want to be careful what you wish for. If you think that Mika's involvement is going to necessarily translate into more professional organization and less censorship you may be in for a surprise.'

 

More professional organization ? Very likely. Less censorship ? I don’t think so. But more coherence, yes, indeed, I would expect that.

 

M.-Th.

[Blue Sky]

Marie-Thérèse

 

From Christine : 'Mika has indicated that he wants the forum to continue on in the way it's been run in the past. There is no guarantee things will not change, but you may want to be careful what you wish for. If you think that Mika's involvement is going to necessarily translate into more professional organization and less censorship you may be in for a surprise.'

 

More professional organization ? Very likely. Less censorship ? I don’t think so. But more coherence, yes, indeed, I would expect that.

 

M.-Th.

 

More professional organisation of MFC...you are kidding, right? We run ourselves better than anyone else can:wink2:

 

And more coherence? In what respect??

 

I think we have long since learned not to "expect" on MFC. These things don't usually come to pass.....

[Christine]

More professional organization? Very likely. Less censorship ? I don’t think so. But more coherence, yes, indeed, I would expect that.

 

Well as I said, you will be in for quite a surprise if those are your expectations.

[babspanky]

Marie-Thérèse

 

From Christine : 'Mika has indicated that he wants the forum to continue on in the way it's been run in the past. There is no guarantee things will not change, but you may want to be careful what you wish for. If you think that Mika's involvement is going to necessarily translate into more professional organization and less censorship you may be in for a surprise.'

 

More professional organization ? Very likely. Less censorship ? I don’t think so. But more coherence, yes, indeed, I would expect that.

 

M.-Th.

 

Well as I said, you will be in for quite a surprise if those are your expectations.

 

Our experience of the professional organisation of Mika's other sites leaves a lot to be desired. Be that the organisation of competitions, the site being kept up to date, bulletins being sent out in a timely manner, lack of mod presence on the forum etc etc

I sincerely hope that the MFC does not become as "professionally organised" as Mikasounds. If it did, just think, we could become as popular as their forum!

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

Marie-Thérèse

 

From Christine : 'Mika has indicated that he wants the forum to continue on in the way it's been run in the past. There is no guarantee things will not change, but you may want to be careful what you wish for. If you think that Mika's involvement is going to necessarily translate into more professional organization and less censorship you may be in for a surprise.'

 

More professional organization ? Very likely. Less censorship ? I don’t think so. But more coherence, yes, indeed, I would expect that.

 

M.-Th.

 

Mika nor his team couldnt run the MFC .. fact

[happikali]

Mika nor his team couldnt run the MFC .. fact

Seconded !!

[Soaring Simpson]

I guess that this is the issue with new members? They don't know the ins and outs of how MFC started, and the fact that it has been acquired by Mika very recently, and is not really (in effect) under his direct management either.

Perhaps this could be added to the FAQ's in case other new members have queries about it...

 

I am a new member and would like to point out that I can take in simple facts without an FAQ. Also that all decisions need to be reviewed periodically as members leave and join. "It's always been this way" is not an adequate response to any debate.

 

I respect Mika's family's desire for privacy (though I think their decision is mistaken as it fuels curiosity), but do feel there's something odd about the values of a site that comes down heavily and patronisingly on people who want to know what Mika's father and brother look like, but are happy with people circling pictures of Mika's dick and discussing whether to describe it as large or small. Even as a joke. Even if he hasn't prohibited such discussions.

 

I'm not a man- maybe they enjoy such attentions. But I can't say I much enjoyed reading the debate. And switching to another one I came accross this one, so I'm commenting.

[sariflor]

I am a new member and would like to point out that I can take in simple facts without an FAQ. Also that all decisions need to be reviewed periodically as members leave and join. "It's always been this way" is not an adequate response to any debate.

 

I respect Mika's family's desire for privacy (though I think their decision is mistaken as it fuels curiosity), but do feel there's something odd about the values of a site that comes down heavily and patronisingly on people who want to know what Mika's father and brother look like, but are happy with people circling pictures of Mika's dick and discussing whether to describe it as large or small. Even as a joke. Even if he hasn't prohibited such discussions.

 

I'm not a man- maybe they enjoy such attentions. But I can't say I much enjoyed reading the debate. And switching to another one I came accross this one, so I'm commenting.

 

What I meant was that if people don't KNOW what's going on, because it isn't said or written anywhere, they won't know.

 

And by this I was referring to the (probably not so obvious to anyone who just stumbles upon Mika's "official fanclub site" ) fact of the MFC not having ever been managed by Mika himself or his team.

 

If I were to just find someone's fansite I would assume that they have full control over it, hence why I said that I guess it's not such a clear thing to see unless you are told.

 

Obviously I wasn't implying anything about people being unable or incapable of coming to conclusions based on simple facts, and I feel that you took this in a patronizing or attacking manner, which was not how I intended it. If you didn't take it this way, I apologise for saying this in advance, but I got the impression that the first line in your post was a defensive reaction.

 

Going back to the site, I stand by what I said. I think that to many people just finding this, it would be useful to know that Mika himself has to this day not had any input on the site itself or how it's run. And he could have, but he has decided not to.

I obviously don't know the detail of why this is, although he made a few comments to Rose and I when we met him in May and chatted a while, and the impression that he gave was that he felt that this site had come from the fans, was made by the fans and mostly for the fans, and that he liked the way it was so "real", hence the reason why he didn't want to interfere.

 

I even said that he may want to "guide" things a bit, and he quickly said "noo", that he did NOT want that at all.

 

Now he may have changed his mind since (this was the 20 something of May '08) but at that point the said discussions that you mention about his dick etc etc had already taken place.

 

I'm assuming that Mika and his people did a fair bit of research into MFC and what goes on here before deciding to buy the site and before he made this decision to let things be.

 

This obviously doesn't mean that I agree/disagree with that particular thread or others that you may query, but that is my prerrogative as a member: to like or dislike threads and therefore to choose not to be in them or to participate.

I didn't personally like the idea of discussing his package myself, so I didn't, but I still think that it IS different to comment on HIM, when he's chosen this public life, to comment his parents or siblings who have actively asked for pictures of them not to be posted or circulated.

 

Also, I'm not sure that anyone has tried to respond to anything by saying that "it's always been that way"....All that I saw people saying is that it's been done this way because Mika and his family have requested this to be this way, so I can't see how reviewing it from time to time would change anything (unless we got Mika himself to discuss it with )

[IngievV]

Seconded !!

 

I third that:roftl:

[Soaring Simpson]

What I meant was that if people don't KNOW what's going on, because it isn't said or written anywhere, they won't know.

 

I haven't been a member long, but I've certainly seen these facts worked into quite a number of threads. I'm not against an FAQ, though. I found the existing ones helpful.

 

Obviously I wasn't implying anything about people being unable or incapable of coming to conclusions based on simple facts, and I feel that you took this in a patronizing or attacking manner, which was not how I intended it. If you didn't take it this way, I apologise for saying this in advance, but I got the impression that the first line in your post was a defensive reaction.

 

OK, to be fair, I knew you didn't mean to be patronising. Unfortunely, I have often in the past picked up a sense from many members that there were two classes of member on this site- and that new members were the lower order. And given that this is a heavily moderated site, I feel more attention could be paid to this. As an official site it's now, presumably, for all fans.

 

I didn't personally like the idea of discussing his package myself, so I didn't, but I still think that it IS different to comment on HIM, when he's chosen this public life, to comment his parents or siblings who have actively asked for pictures of them not to be posted or circulated.

 

Yes and no. I've already said we should respect his family's requests for privacy, but I also think that moderators come down very heavily on people who ask about Mika's family. Certainly I've been glad that some of their comments haven't been addressed to me, and I wouldn't say I was particularly sensitive. I KNOW it's the millionth time they've had to tell people that we don't discuss the family and suggest that people read the guidelines and FAQs. But each of the questioners has hopefully only asked the once. And the point I was trying to make is that to people who haven't read the guidelines - and few people do- there would seem to be evidence from these other threads that anything goes. Also, members who have seen or met the family do talk about them- how happy they look and stuff. Which again encourages the questions.

 

Also, I'm not sure that anyone has tried to respond to anything by saying that "it's always been that way"....All that I saw people saying is that it's been done this way because Mika and his family have requested this to be this way, so I can't see how reviewing it from time to time would change anything (unless we got Mika himself to discuss it with )

 

I'm confident I probably could find evidence of this if I trawled through this and other threads- but I'll let it pass. I wasn't referring to the family snaps issue which, as I said in the original post, I support. A periodic review of all policies is standard business practice. And a useful one.

[chickadee]

OK, to be fair, I knew you didn't mean to be patronising. Unfortunely, I have often in the past picked up a sense from many members that there were two classes of member on this site- and that new members were the lower order. And given that this is a heavily moderated site, I feel more attention could be paid to this. As an official site it's now, presumably, for all fans.

 

I have, from time to time, felt that there were more than two classes of members on this site. It's not just about older and newer sometimes. Sometimes it has seemed that the "class division" is about number of gigs you've been to. Sometimes it has seemed to be about how many times you've met Mika or what circumstances you've met him under. Sometimes it has seemed to be about what country/continent you live in. Sometimes what language you speak and how vocal you are. Sometimes age. There's probably more.

 

But sometimes it's actually about me projecting my own feelings onto the posts that I'm reading. I have found that I need to be very careful about this, as it is so easy to misinterpret someone's tone on here, even with the smilies. Note that I'm not saying this is what you are doing. I'm only speaking for myself.

 

 

Yes and no. I've already said we should respect his family's requests for privacy, but I also think that moderators come down very heavily on people who ask about Mika's family. Certainly I've been glad that some of their comments haven't been addressed to me, and I wouldn't say I was particularly sensitive. I KNOW it's the millionth time they've had to tell people that we don't discuss the family and suggest that people read the guidelines and FAQs. But each of the questioners has hopefully only asked the once. And the point I was trying to make is that to people who haven't read the guidelines - and few people do- there would seem to be evidence from these other threads that anything goes. Also, members who have seen or met the family do talk about them- how happy they look and stuff. Which again encourages the questions.

 

I have found this to be a very gray area. A few month ago I was still in my Mika honeymoon phase. I wanted to know all of these things... What his family looked like etc etc. Maybe I'm a tiny bit perverted about some things, but I believe the curiousitiy is simply natural. Human nature, if you like. For some people, they don't have this same curiousity. To them it seems strange that people are asking. Quite frankly, I don't really care if to them it seems strange. I remain curious, just less "desperate" to know now. To me it seems strange that people can sit and swoon over Mika and his body for hours on end, as I don't find him attractive in a chickeny way. That's fine. I've stated this around the place several times. I don't think less of people for it, I just don't really want to read it.

But not knowing what his family looks like when so much of the MFC does, just reinforces for me some of what I'm continually missing out on, being a Mika fan who lives in Australia. This is not a defense, merely an explanation of one of the reasons why I remain curious and am secretly glad that people ask. For me, I would be happy to see one clear shot of each of them, just so I could say "Oh, so that's what they look like!" and be done with it, but I realise that for a lot of people, they wouldn't be so easily satisfied and there would then become a flood of people trying to sneak shots and post them places, so I'm not going to suggest that this happens.

[Christine]

I am a new member and would like to point out that I can take in simple facts without an FAQ.

 

I'm not sure what you're getting at. If new members think that Mika needs to "regain control" of MFC then they are not informed of certain facts and I wouldn't expect them to be unless they happen to go trawling through many old threads.

 

Also that all decisions need to be reviewed periodically as members leave and join. "It's always been this way" is not an adequate response to any debate.

 

Guidelines are reviewed periodically. As I mentioned, the rule about Mika's family's privacy was part of a discussion that was open to everyone for a very long period of time earlier this year. This discussion initially began as a challenge to an unwritten rule that Mika's sexuality was not to be discussed on MFC.

 

Unless it's an edict that's come down from Mika or his management, nothing is written in stone.

 

I respect Mika's family's desire for privacy (though I think their decision is mistaken as it fuels curiosity),

 

It does fuel curiosity to a certain degree but I don't believe it's mistaken. I have noticed when it comes to any mystery involving Mika that there is a small resourceful and determined group that will eventually find out as much as they possibly can. There is another small group that is equally curious but not determined or resourceful enough so ultimately they don't find out much of anything. The vast majority do not care or do not even notice.

 

That means if these things are not posted publicly and regularly on MFC that 95%+ of the people who pass through here will never see photos of Mika's father and brother based on anything they've seen here - even the occasional argument about not posting the pics.

 

Mika took this stance with the press when it came to questions about his sexuality and although it piqued curiousity at first and was forever a hot topic in interviews, eventually it paid off. I don't even remember the last time someone asked Mika in an interview if he was gay or straight or that someone started such a thread on MFC. People just get bored of asking and accept that it's none of their business.

 

The press is so bored of Mika's stonewalling and clean public image that they rarely harass him about anything now. The paparazzi pics with Adele are the first we've seen in a year where they actually caught him in private and not at a public event where there were many other celebrities in attendance. If he hadn't been with Adele but had gone to dinner with some no-name girl or boy I'm sure we wouldn't have seen any photos.

 

but do feel there's something odd about the values of a site that comes down heavily and patronisingly on people who want to know what Mika's father and brother look like, but are happy with people circling pictures of Mika's dick and discussing whether to describe it as large or small. Even as a joke. Even if he hasn't prohibited such discussions.

 

I'm not a man- maybe they enjoy such attentions. But I can't say I much enjoyed reading the debate. And switching to another one I came accross this one, so I'm commenting.

 

Whether Mika enjoys the attention or not is neither here nor there. This is a fan site, not his personal mailbox. He reads at his own peril and he is certainly free to voice his concerns if anything that goes on here doesn't meet with his approval. He has several means to contact us either directly or via his management.

 

If the members don't like what they see they are also free to voice their opinions on the subject although I am with you in that it puts me off when people do it in a heavy handed and patronizing manner. Especially when there is sexuality involved as it comes across as moralizing. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge others because they don't share the same perception of Mika or desire to discuss and joke about these things.

 

Also, members who have seen or met the family do talk about them- how happy they look and stuff. Which again encourages the questions.

 

This unfortunately is how a reluctant heavy handedness ends up coming into play. I responded to this thread initially because I wanted to answer people's questions instead of being harsh about what is a natural curiosity. Now we are at the point where someone is encouraging other fans to take video of Fortuné if they see him so it seems to me the more effective approach would have been to just shut the topic down.

[Soaring Simpson]

I have, from time to time, felt that there were more than two classes of members on this site. It's not just about older and newer sometimes...

 

But sometimes it's actually about me projecting my own feelings onto the posts that I'm reading.

 

It's always difficult with something like this, but I'm going to stick my neck out - I think there's an actual problem.

 

But not knowing what his family looks like when so much of the MFC does, just reinforces for me some of what I'm continually missing out on, being a Mika fan who lives in Australia. This is not a defense, merely an explanation of one of the reasons why I remain curious and am secretly glad that people ask. For me, I would be happy to see one clear shot of each of them, just so I could say "Oh, so that's what they look like!" and be done with it, but I realise that for a lot of people, they wouldn't be so easily satisfied and there would then become a flood of people trying to sneak shots and post them places, so I'm not going to suggest that this happens.

 

That's exactly how I feel about it (apart from the Australia bit) very well expressed

 

I'm not sure what you're getting at. If new members think that Mika needs to "regain control" of MFC then they are not informed of certain facts and I wouldn't expect them to be unless they happen to go trawling through many old threads.

 

I'm getting at the fact that new members, like old ones, are not a homogenous lump

 

Unless it's an edict that's come down from Mika or his management, nothing is written in stone.

 

If edicts coming from Mika and his management are written in stone, then he has got control of the site

 

Whether Mika enjoys the attention or not is neither here nor there. This is a fan site, not his personal mailbox. He reads at his own peril and he is certainly free to voice his concerns if anything that goes on here doesn't meet with his approval. He has several means to contact us either directly or via his management..

 

I agree in general, but I wasn't referring to whether Mika enjoyed the attention so much as whether men generally would. I guess that most would loathe it. When someone made unkind remarks about Adele's weight (I think, certainly her appearence), lots of people intinctively stopped her- and I think it's a shame male size issues aren't treated the same way.

 

This unfortunately is how a reluctant heavy handedness ends up coming into play. I responded to this thread initially because I wanted to answer people's questions instead of being harsh about what is a natural curiosity. Now we are at the point where someone is encouraging other fans to take video of Fortuné if they see him so it seems to me the more effective approach would have been to just shut the topic down.

 

Moderators and others trying to keep the discussion fun but reasonable are often in a no-win situation, and generally do pretty well. Who knows what would have happened if you'd closed it down? Maybe the same, or worse. I think Mika's family are unusual among celebrity families in being so camera shy, and that it's a pain in the neck. But the other extreme would be worse- at least none of them are selling their "stories" to Heat etc. (Although I admit I'm being a bit hypocritical here, owning books by Eminem's former bodyguard and former best friend)

[JackViolet]

I am a new member and would like to point out that I can take in simple facts without an FAQ. Also that all decisions need to be reviewed periodically as members leave and join. "It's always been this way" is not an adequate response to any debate.

 

The rules were worked out in their present format fairly recently, after an extensive of debate, and with much general input. It was a lot of work, it entailed a lot of discussion, and in the end we came to to have them the way they are through general consensus. This was a pretty draining experience, and while they are reviewed periodically, to have them be in constant flux would not only be confusing to people, but it would be absolutely exhausting.

 

If you are a new member, I would say you should hang around a bit, maybe read through some back threads, etc, before making smug comments about the need for review. Especially since (considering that it's been less than a year since we had the rule overhaul) your "periodically" seems to mean "when I come on the scene, to accommodate my pov."

 

Online forums and communities have rules. All of them. Even the most anarchic ones. In general, these rules are not even to be debated--they are decided by whoever runs the place. Part and parcel of participating in an online community is that you abide by these rules, whether you like them or not.

 

I don't particularly care for the no-swearing rule, and the whole "don't-say-s*x-say-chicken" thing, but you know what? I didn't make this forum, and I'm not running it, and so I don't swear.

 

there's something odd about the values of a site that comes down heavily and patronisingly on people who want to know what Mika's father and brother look like, but are happy with people circling pictures of Mika's dick and discussing whether to describe it as large or small. Even as a joke. Even if he hasn't prohibited such discussions.

 

Blame Mika for that. He and his family have made it very clear that they do NOT like for photos of his father, brother, and even mother and sisters to be circulated, and would be very happy to avoid having their photos taken after shows entirely. (They were less strict on picture-taking at first, but as these photos started to be put up online, they began to be a lot more camera-shy.)

 

I actually think shutting down all discussion of this is good, because if we make it a no-go subject, we won't have those people who've seen Fortune and Mika's dad talking about it, and then those who haven't won't have to feel jealous. And honestly, this subject does not come up all that much. People ask, they get told we don't discuss this due to Mika's expressed wishes, most of them shrug and move on.

 

As for the crotch-circling photos... ok, I hate them too. I would be very happy to have any sort of chance to make that sort of stuff discouraged on the forums. But... I'm not everyone else, and I'm not Mika. Mika has put himself out there, this is within the normal bounds of what goes on at fansites and within celebrity culture in general... and honestly, Mika does not discourage it himself. I wish he would! But no, the man seems quite happy to strip on stage, and make his dance moves ever-more focused on his gyrating hips, etc etc, so I don't think he is unduly bothered by this kind of attention.

 

Again, I think it's crass and tacky and disrespectful, and I've said so. But there's really no good argument to make it an actual rule that people cannot post stuff like that (nor is it really enforceable...)

 

Unfortunely, I have often in the past picked up a sense from many members that there were two classes of member on this site- and that new members were the lower order.

 

Welcome to the internet. No, really. It's... pretty much part and parcel of any online community, again. Or... any community, really. New members tend to come on, and they don't know any of the history or conventions of the existing community, and if they start barging right on in without taking the time to figure things out, expecting everyone to accommodate their ignorance, of course they'll get some resistance! Especially if their behavior demands that older members have to explain stuff to them that's been hashed over a thousand times and really shouldn't be up to them to explain... of course the older memebers may get a little frustrated, or use that frustration to play jokes on the newer ones.

 

Personally, when I join a new online community, I tend to watch it for a while without posting, acclimatise myself to the rules and general behavior, and only then join in. I consider such conduct simply basic respect on my part toward the community as a whole.

 

And the point I was trying to make is that to people who haven't read the guidelines - and few people do-

 

Wait, why haven't people read the guidelines? Isn't the link to the guidelines and FAQ PMed to new members upon joining? In my view, it is then the new members' responsibility to familiarize themselves with the guidelines.

 

(If it is not, then I would ask the mods to consider doing this, although I thought that was already being done.)

 

--Jack

[chickadee]

Guidelines are reviewed periodically. As I mentioned, the rule about Mika's family's privacy was part of a discussion that was open to everyone for a very long period of time earlier this year. This discussion initially began as a challenge to an unwritten rule that Mika's sexuality was not to be discussed on MFC.

 

This must have occurred either when I was moving house and didn't have internet access for a while or back in the not-so-many-months-ago phase when I didn't realise what the "New Posts" thing was all about:naughty: Either way, I completely missed it.

 

It does fuel curiosity to a certain degree but I don't believe it's mistaken. I have noticed when it comes to any mystery involving Mika that there is a small resourceful and determined group that will eventually find out as much as they possibly can. There is another small group that is equally curious but not determined or resourceful enough so ultimately they don't find out much of anything. The vast majority do not care or do not even notice.

 

That means if these things are not posted publicly and regularly on MFC that 95%+ of the people who pass through here will never see photos of Mika's father and brother based on anything they've seen here - even the occasional argument about not posting the pics.

 

*puts her hand up to being one of the curious but less determined/resourceful crowd*

I am forever grateful to the MFC FBI. But I think I spend too much time in chat threads (or the Aussies just bloody talk too much) and I'm sure there are heaps of interesting snippets that I've missed over the months. From time to time I start following certain people around the forum, cos they generally know where the interesting action is. And then will come a period where I can't be bothered again.

 

This unfortunately is how a reluctant heavy handedness ends up coming into play. I responded to this thread initially because I wanted to answer people's questions instead of being harsh about what is a natural curiosity. Now we are at the point where someone is encouraging other fans to take video of Fortuné if they see him so it seems to me the more effective approach would have been to just shut the topic down.

 

You don't think there would have been a hue and cry about heavy-handedness and censorship if you'd shut it down? OKD's petiton thread is just one semi-recent example.

I believe in some of these circumstances you're stuck between a rock and a hard place as a mod.

 

It's always difficult with something like this, but I'm going to stick my neck out - I think there's an actual problem.

 

I agree in general, but I wasn't referring to whether Mika enjoyed the attention so much as whether men generally would. I guess that most would loathe it. When someone made unkind remarks about Adele's weight (I think, certainly her appearence), lots of people intinctively stopped her- and I think it's a shame male size issues aren't treated the same way.

 

In Australia in the last couple of years we've had some issues with footballers behaviour in public (bear with me, I do have a point). After a lot of looking into this (by whom I'm not exactly sure) we hear on the media that it is a problem within the clubs themselves... There is a lot of talk about a "climate" or a "culture" within the clubs.

 

I think the "climate" or "accepted current thinking" on the MFC goes through swings and roundabouts. I've been on here when it seemed that it was completely allowable for almost anything to be said about Mika's genitalia, and I've also seen people either nudge gently or jump on top of such conversations. And I'm not referring to the mods here. I'm talking about other members, sometimes older ones (in either age or time as a member or both), sometimes not. The mix of people on here is constantly changing as new members arrive and some older members leave. And whatever the prevailing percieved "accepted current thinking" is, becomes the standard, the self-regulating norm. That gets really tricky. If no-one speaks up, the bar just gets lower and lower. If people do speak up, they are sometimes attacked for moralising, sometimes ignored, sometimes mocked, sometimes applauded and supported. I don't have a solution for this, I'm just making an observation and stating that it bothers me.

[Niki27]

I know how it feels to be a newbie, I was one at a time, and I know how curious I was and how it felt to be lost on this forum. But as Jack said, I took the time to read the different threads and I asked people privately to enlighten me on certain matters. I do understand that people are interested in what Mika's family members look like and stuff, but we really can't leave this door open. If we let people describe them, or tell other members where to go to get pics/videos, why not post them directly? Where's the limit? I, as a person, would not really appreciate to have my face plastered on the forum without being asked first. It's just a matter of respect. I wouldn't like people to take pics of me without asking either. I guess this is true for everybody, wether they're Mika's sibblings or lambda citizens.

 

As for Mika's privates... oh well... I agree with Jack, i don't really like these pics, but he's in the spotlights and makes sure to stress his sexual appeal so hey... if it bothered him so much he wouldn't dance half naked on a bed, right?

 

As for the newbie vs older members argument... I've never felt rejected as a newbie, and I think we don't patronize on people who ask gently and genuinely. I get irritated, tho, when we explain there's a consensus about certain topics and the new members obviously want to break this consensus and act as if they knew better than the rest of us what's best for this forum. I find it pretty offensive because a lot of hard work has been done to come up with these guidelines, not only by the mods, but all the members who took part to the debate at the time. The same members who've worked for more than a year on making this forum the biggest community of Mika fans ever.

[Mika4Life13]

Yes I was standing near him when Mika walked into the afterparty and he was beaming as everyone cheered. He looked very proud of his son

Oh christine this makes my heart melt into a puddle on the floor.

 

 

but then i picture mika grinding with big girl and i wonder what his faja thinks then.

[Fmbm]

Oh christine this makes my heart melt into a puddle on the floor.

 

 

but then i picture mika grinding with big girl and i wonder what his faja thinks then.

 

 

 

I wonder what his family thinks when he does that

[JackViolet]

I've never felt rejected as a newbie, and I think we don't patronize on people who ask gently and genuinely. I get irritated, tho, when we explain there's a consensus about certain topics and the new members obviously want to break this consensus and act as if they knew better than the rest of us what's best for this forum. I find it pretty offensive because a lot of hard work has been done to come up with these guidelines, not only by the mods, but all the members who took part to the debate at the time. The same members who've worked for more than a year on making this forum the biggest community of Mika fans ever.

 

Agreed, actually. I felt a little out of the loop when I first started looking around the forums, but I didn't post until I've been reading for about a week or so. And I never felt rejected or looked down upon when I did start posting, though of course my few initial posts went by largely unnoticed, as I expected--until people got used to seeing my name and started to pick up on my personality.

 

And now that Niki reminded me, the posters who do take the time to look around and carefully step in aren't usually treated like "newbies." I remember when Niki joined, and it was just "Hm, why haven't I noticed her before? Oh, she's new? Cool." A lot of members' "newbie" phase pretty much passes unnoticed unless, like I said, they come in and expect to be accommodated, rather than taking the time to accommodate themselves to the existing community.

 

--Jack

[Fmbm]

I don't know if this happens already, but when new members join, they should automatically be sent a PM with a "PLEASE READ" message containing everything they need to know.

[JackViolet]

I don't know if this happens already, but when new members join, they should automatically be sent a PM with a "PLEASE READ" message containing everything they need to know.

 

Yeah, I thought Deb said that new members are now sent a PM with a link to the FAQ and guidelines (though the FAQ has the basic guidelines already).

 

--Jack

[Fmbm]

Yeah, I thought Deb said that new members are now sent a PM with a link to the FAQ and guidelines (though the FAQ has the basic guidelines already).

 

--Jack

 

Oh, well they probably just ignore it, sadly. There should be a message that says "YOU MUST READ THIS OR YOU CAN'T POST"

[chickadee]

Agreed, actually. I felt a little out of the loop when I first started looking around the forums, but I didn't post until I've been reading for about a week or so. And I never felt rejected or looked down upon when I did start posting, though of course my few initial posts went by largely unnoticed, as I expected--until people got used to seeing my name and started to pick up on my personality.

 

And now that Niki reminded me, the posters who do take the time to look around and carefully step in aren't usually treated like "newbies." I remember when Niki joined, and it was just "Hm, why haven't I noticed her before? Oh, she's new? Cool." A lot of members' "newbie" phase pretty much passes unnoticed unless, like I said, they come in and expect to be accommodated, rather than taking the time to accommodate themselves to the existing community.

 

--Jack

 

Different to my experience. I'd never been on a forum or fansite before and the idea that I shouldn't just jump straight in with both feet never occurred to me. I was so excited/intrigued/puzzled etc etc that you couldn't shut me up on my first night. I didn't know a whole lot about Mika, so I had no idea about the months of prior knowledge and shared experience of the fanclub members. It never occurred to me that there might be politics. There was so much I didn't know and when I look back now, I can't believe I didn't take the "softly, softly" approach. I managed to upset a more long-standing member on about day 2, through simple sheer ignorance. But there was no malice intended. I was lucky I had the Aussies backing me up and to give me guidance. And people around this place were very forgiving of me, were kind and generous with their time and explanations and nothing seemed to be too much trouble. Maybe my enthusiasm was smiled over privately but tolerated in public, like some big gangly dog who knocks over the potted plant cos he's just so damn excited to see you and hasn't gotten used to his not-puppy body anymore. I'll never know. But I wonder if some of that tolerance is missing nowadays? Older members shouldn't have to lay out everything on a plate perhaps, but this place is even bigger and noisier than it was when I joined and it's very confusing at times. Eagerness to be involved or lack of experience with forums can mean that people don't always wait and look around. (You'd think that the lack of experience would be the thing that would make people stop and look around but not always.) Sometimes people do need a little guidance, and sometimes a little tolerance....

 

(while they figure out their place in the pecking order!) And if you don't think we have one, that it's all completely egalitarian here, then we must be looking at two different forums. Much as I might wish it otherwise.