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.........I'm sorry...

Fmbm

By Fmbm
in Chat about Mika

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Sasje

Sasje

Posted
Posted

Actually.. and I don't know if this is the place to post this, but anyway... I feel real sad at the moment..

 

there was a thread where people had a go at Mika's new background singer, and to my oppinion it turned out to be attacking each other in the last posts..

 

Now.. I see it happen over here again..

 

what is wrong with MFC lately??

 

Where is our big family like we used to be??

 

Maybe it is that I notice it more because I read more outside my bar or something but really.. this saddens me terribly..

 

I am sorry if I posted this on a wrong place or whatever, but I just needed to say it..

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lollipop_monkey

lollipop_monkey

Posted
Posted

I think all of the issues can be summarized as follows:

 

  • The mods are trying their best to keep things in check in a very busy forum, while trying to balance free speech with what is acceptable and appropriate. This can be challenging when a thread runs rampant in the space of an hour or two when no mods happen to be online;

 

  • In this particular case, some posts were made that were deemed to be inappropriate; it's unfortunate that the acceptable posts end up being removed along with those deemed offensive;

 

  • The decision to delete the thread was made based on the mods feeling that if Mika, Sara, or anyone affiliated with them were to read it, some comments were harsh enough to damage the MFC's reputation and credibility. The choice to delete a thread is not without much consideration;

 

  • The option exists to "soft delete" a thread, edit out the most offensive posts (thus preserving the acceptable/thoughtful/not outright hurtul posts) and then restore the "sanitized" version of the thread; however, doing so removes the context, making many of the posts confusing and irrelevant;

 

  • The ideal solution is for members to be conscious of where the line is and when it may be crossed; not just in this case, but in others, too. The onus is on all members to be aware of things that are considered inappropriate - name-calling (to outside people and to other members), threats, sexually explicit comments, etc.

 

Is that an accurate summary? Do we all agree? Moderating a forum is a tough job. I also think moderating this one may be more challenging than other forums out there because A) this one is very busy with many active members, B) we have a very wide age range, and C) the vast majority of the time, the atmosphere here is very welcoming and generally positive. This means that when things go awry, it can be challenging to know where to draw the line; both as members posting comments, and as moderators moderating.

 

Anyways, guys, lets just learn from this and move beyond it, kay? No hard feelings, no ruffled feathers, just a lesson learned. :thumb_yello:

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
Actually.. and I don't know if this is the place to post this, but anyway... I feel real sad at the moment..

 

there was a thread where people had a go at Mika's new background singer, and to my oppinion it turned out to be attacking each other in the last posts..

 

Now.. I see it happen over here again..

 

what is wrong with MFC lately??

 

Where is our big family like we used to be??

 

Maybe it is that I notice it more because I read more outside my bar or something but really.. this saddens me terribly..

 

I am sorry if I posted this on a wrong place or whatever, but I just needed to say it..

 

We need to have a truth wand.

We'll all sit in a circle, pass the truth wand, and say what we hate about the other people. Then we'll discuss, and have tea.

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Christine

Christine

Posted
Posted
Well, it *hasn't* happened on a regular basis, has it? I've been here since

February and I'm having a hard time remembering any other controversial

thread being *entirely* zapped. (Other threads were closed or deleted

because they were duplicates, or at the starters' request, sure... or maybe a post here and there has been deleted... )

 

dcdeb

 

Since I've been here no one has been slagging off members of Mika's band either, but I guess there's a first time for everything and if it's not addressed there will be a second, third, fourth, etc. time.

 

I could have waited until a thread was deleted for the fifth time, but I chose to say something now. I would rather be discussing the larger issue, but since the thread was deleted I don't even know exactly what we're talking about. I wasn't able to read all of the comments.

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
I would rather be discussing the larger issue, but since the thread was deleted I don't even know exactly what we're talking about. I wasn't able to read all of the comments.

 

Basically, me and some other people decided she was being too show-offy (is that a word?) at his shows. Then someone posted photos of her with low cut shirts, and a "come hither" look. I went on to say she seemed slutty, yelled at her for standing on the giant M, doing the booty dance, etc.

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CazGirl

CazGirl

Posted
Posted

 

Edit: And I'm sort of disappointed that people are backing away from their opinions because they're afraid. If you apologize for HOW you said something about her, then that's fine. But to change your entire opinion because someone else threatened you? That's just lame.

 

it's not changing the opinion thats the problem.

 

you can say "i don't think she's a great backup singer", but you CAN'T say "i don't think she's a great backup singer so she should die" or anything like that (i dont know if anything like that was said, but after reading some of this thread I know very negative comments were posted).

 

The fact is, new things can take a while to get used to. This new woman - whoever she may be - may start to grow on people. Like Mika's slick hairdo at the Q awards. If they start to get used to her and change their opinion then that's up to them - not everyone sticks to their original thoughts.

 

We're not threatening here, we're not saying "if you do this again we'll ban you" or "do this again and we'll hunt you down", we're just saying quite plainly that all the nasty comments were more than nasty, but downright disgusting.

 

I'm not going to say "what if you went on a forum and people started saying nasty things about you, how would you feel?" because you might not even care. But the fact is, SHE MIGHT DO. We have to consider other people's feelings. Don't bully her just because she's new. She's just trying to fit in with the band and if she reads everyone's comments they can really knock her self esteem, and trsut me I know EXACTLY wtf that feels like and I'm not going to tolerate that, and by the looks of it, neither is the fanclub and rightly so.

 

it's obvious Mika's giving her career a try, and we should too. Whether you like her or not is your opinion, but please respect her position and how she must feel. It's not easy singing on stage with a large amount of people and then finding out people on Mika's fan club are beating her down (if she knows).

 

This is not an attack on you personally, it's not even meant to be an attack as such, it's just how I feel about the situation.

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Christine

Christine

Posted
Posted
We have 6 mods (FD, me, happikali, dcdeb, Sivan and now Sasje), as well as deano, when he is on. Do you honestly think we need more (because I would be curious to know if you think we do)?

 

What is concerning me now is, if people found what was posted in the thread so offensive, why was it not reported? People can do that.

 

Actually I don't think you need more mods because I was happy when Deano mentioned that the new policy would be quite laissez faire.

 

Personally I didn't find anything in the thread offensive enough to report to a moderator, but as I just mentioned to Deb, that's difficult for me to argue since I didn't get a chance to read every post.

 

People talk all kinds of crap about Mika on YouTube and I leave the comments up, but there have been one or two instances of gaybashing that I deleted because it was offensive by any standard. I can't judge if things were that bad in the thread because I didn't see it all.

 

I have been really happy with the moderation the past few months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about a thread being obliterated. Since Freddie made it clear it was a temporary measure, I don't have any complaints.

 

Even the complaint that I made was never meant to be an attack on anyone. Sorry if it came off that way. :blush-anim-cl:

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Bianca

Bianca

Posted
Posted

:boxed: Heh....I wasn't attacking anyone..or saying anyone was wrong or right.

The mods do a great job...:biggrin2:

The thread should of been started and "stated" in a different way from the beginning.

I just like reading people's opinions that's all.

 

*Hops off to bed* :biggrin2:

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dcdeb

dcdeb

Posted
Posted

Anyways, guys, lets just learn from this and move beyond it, kay? No hard feelings, no ruffled feathers, just a lesson learned. :thumb_yello:

 

Yes, you made a very accurate summary, and I thought earlier

that this was the direction we were headed... moving on, lesson

learned, etc.

 

Since I've been here no one has been slagging off members of Mika's band either,

 

No, just Mika himself :wink2:

 

I could have waited until a thread was deleted for the fifth time, but I chose to say something now. I would rather be discussing the larger issue, but since the thread was deleted I don't even know exactly what we're talking about. I wasn't able to read all of the comments.

 

Well, for the record, neither was I, which is apparently part of the

problem. I read the thread when it first started and thought it

was a shame the new singer wasn't being given a chance by some, but

figured it wasn't my job to tell people how to feel about her.

I didn't look at the thread again until this morning, not realizing what a

hot topic it had become.

 

If things were getting hot in that thread no one thought enough of it to

let me or any of the other mods know until about 2 a.m. today my time --

at which time I was snuggled fast asleep in my bed. (Which is where I

would like to be now, too, in fact.)

 

But... I do resent the implication that you think that deleting

threads is going to become a regular occurrence. There are a lot

of posts/discussions that I feel are tacky or inappropriate, but we DO

try to have a "hands-off" attitude for the most part. But there are

some things that just cross the line, even when you're trying to be

the liberalist of liberals. Over the course of

10+ months, this is one thread

that has been controversial enough to cause a moderator to delete it,

albeit temporarily. If we continue at this rate, I

doubt that many of us will still be here by the time the *5th* thread is deleted -- in almost 5 years...

 

dcdeb

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nico_collard

nico_collard

Posted
Posted
Actually I don't think you need more mods because I was happy when Deano mentioned that the new policy would be quite laissez faire.

 

Personally I didn't find anything in the thread offensive enough to report to a moderator, but as I just mentioned to Deb, that's difficult for me to argue since I didn't get a chance to read every post.

 

People talk all kinds of crap about Mika on YouTube and I leave the comments up, but there have been one or two instances of gaybashing that I deleted because it was offensive by any standard. I can't judge if things were that bad in the thread because I didn't see it all.

 

I have been really happy with the moderation the past few months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about a thread being obliterated. Since Freddie made it clear it was a temporary measure, I don't have any complaints.

 

Even the complaint that I made was never meant to be an attack on anyone. Sorry if it came off that way. :blush-anim-cl:

 

Fair enough... that comment made about reporting posts was more directed at everyone... it didn't seem like it the way I posted so I apologise..

 

Though the issue had gone further than just that thread... I suggest you check out the link I posted...

 

No I don't think you were personally attacking us... I get a bit frustrated when something like this occurs... and it seemed like you were a sorta easy target... I'm sorry if it felt like I was attacking you or anything... just frustrated is all...

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violet_sky

violet_sky

Posted
Posted
Actually.. and I don't know if this is the place to post this, but anyway... I feel real sad at the moment..

 

there was a thread where people had a go at Mika's new background singer, and to my oppinion it turned out to be attacking each other in the last posts..

 

Now.. I see it happen over here again..

 

what is wrong with MFC lately??

 

Where is our big family like we used to be??

 

Maybe it is that I notice it more because I read more outside my bar or something but really.. this saddens me terribly..

 

I am sorry if I posted this on a wrong place or whatever, but I just needed to say it..

 

Oh no, Sasje, please don't start taking things personally.

I just think what happens lately is that people turn out to be real and this is only partly LaLaLand.

In fact we have to face that this virtual place is a part of our reality which doesn't have to be seen in a negative way. Wherever people gather in one place and have their say there is controversy and just like in RL this may contain nasty things. The challenge is to sort it out and still get along with each other - or maybe give each other a wide berth if necessary...

There's seldom a mod in RL to help along so I guess most people are not 'used to being moderated' because we have to work things out ourselves and some may feel sort of patronised.

I do think that all of you are taking their job very seriously and intend to act for the public benefit. We know that. And it IS appreciated althouth sometimes it may seem not to be. Just try to analyze any criticism from the 'outside' and then decide for yourself if it seems appropriate or not. It's no use taking it all personally because it would lead nowhere and just build up fronts that shouldn't be there.

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