Daenerys Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Haaa i think i found "my" thread ! I have many gay friends, actually, most of my friends are LGBT. I don't really label myself but if i had to, i'd say that i'm pansexual ( which is when you love people for who they are, no matter the gender ). I've been raised in a very open-minded family, one of our closest friends ( my parents best friend since they were 11 ) is gay too so, it always felt "normal" to me idk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Haaa i think i found "my" thread ! I have many gay friends, actually, most of my friends are LGBT. I don't really label myself but if i had to, i'd say that i'm pansexual ( which is when you love people for who they are, no matter the gender ). I've been raised in a very open-minded family, one of our closest friends ( my parents best friend since they were 11 ) is gay too so, it always felt "normal" to me idk. it's great when we feel at home... nice... i haven't ever heard the "traslatin" of pansexual... and it's so nice when we grow up with open-mind people, life looks muuuuuuch better... well... welcome and make yourself confortable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerys Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 it's great when we feel at home... nice... i haven't ever heard the "traslatin" of pansexual... and it's so nice when we grow up with open-mind people, life looks muuuuuuch better... well... welcome and make yourself confortable... to be honest it took me years to figure out that was what my sexuality was... at first i always said bi, because it's somehow easier to explain. But there's the idea of only 2 genders in the term "bisexuality" and it didn't fit my beliefs, let's say. And yes, even though i'm not "out" to my family, i know they would perfectly accept it. It's just that i don't feel the need to announce it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuittu Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 to be honest it took me years to figure out that was what my sexuality was... at first i always said bi, because it's somehow easier to explain. But there's the idea of only 2 genders in the term "bisexuality" and it didn't fit my beliefs, let's say. And yes, even though i'm not "out" to my family, i know they would perfectly accept it. It's just that i don't feel the need to announce it. You are so lucky to have such great parents! I would love that if no one should announce it or "come out" or whatever. I mean why should it matter who you like? I always a big deal... At least in Finland it's pretty much okay to be gay (we have gay ministers and athletes too) but when it comes to anything else most of finns are like (what is this? should I be okay with it? how do I act around it? will other people think I'm too narrowminded if I say something?) It's all about labels. If you don't fit (=be straight or at least gay) you're pretty much a freak. But hey, it takes time and we are going in the right direction. And it comes with talking about it. Like some time ago it was really rare to talk about being gay, but the more we talked about it the more we were okay about it. Now it's time for others to follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerys Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You are so lucky to have such great parents! I would love that if no one should announce it or "come out" or whatever. I mean why should it matter who you like? I always a big deal... At least in Finland it's pretty much okay to be gay (we have gay ministers and athletes too) but when it comes to anything else most of finns are like (what is this? should I be okay with it? how do I act around it? will other people think I'm too narrowminded if I say something?) It's all about labels. If you don't fit (=be straight or at least gay) you're pretty much a freak. But hey, it takes time and we are going in the right direction. And it comes with talking about it. Like some time ago it was really rare to talk about being gay, but the more we talked about it the more we were okay about it. Now it's time for others to follow. I guess it's the same here... For some reason, even if i know they wouldn't mind and i don't feel the need to come out, a part of me is still terrified to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyaboutmika Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) it's great when we feel at home... nice... i haven't ever heard the "traslatin" of pansexual... and it's so nice when we grow up with open-mind people, life looks muuuuuuch better... well... welcome and make yourself confortable... Haaa i think i found "my" thread ! I have many gay friends, actually, most of my friends are LGBT. I don't really label myself but if i had to, i'd say that i'm pansexual ( which is when you love people for who they are, no matter the gender ). I've been raised in a very open-minded family, one of our closest friends ( my parents best friend since they were 11 ) is gay too so, it always felt "normal" to me idk. Hi It's nice to see this thread being bumped Welcome Deanerys I'm straight and LGBT friendly to the point my gay friends and facebook wonder if I'm gay But I'm 46 so that would be really late ..I just think one is entitled to love whoever they fall in love with regardless of sex age nationality color of the skin Deanrerys you're lucky that your family is open minded Maybe once you find the love you won't even have to come out since you'll be able to kiss or hold hands and that'll be just fine Hi Wesley Edited February 13, 2014 by crazyaboutmika Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerys Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Aw thank you. And yes I agree, love doesn't care about gender or skin color or religion or whatever. I almost told them about my last girlfriend but we broke up last week so nope, not for this time lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatoneguy Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/26/politics/texas-same-sex/ Texas judge stuck down the ban on same-sex marriage as unconstitutional. Surprising to say the least, kind of assumed that Texas would be one of the states that held out for a while. This may be another domino to see this in the rest of the states. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elinawang Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I love gay guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Hi It's nice to see this thread being bumped Welcome Deanerys I'm straight and LGBT friendly to the point my gay friends and facebook wonder if I'm gay But I'm 46 so that would be really late ..I just think one is entitled to love whoever they fall in love with regardless of sex age nationality color of the skin Deanrerys you're lucky that your family is open minded Maybe once you find the love you won't even have to come out since you'll be able to kiss or hold hands and that'll be just fine Hi Wesley :huglove: so good to see you here, sweetie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 to be honest it took me years to figure out that was what my sexuality was... at first i always said bi, because it's somehow easier to explain. But there's the idea of only 2 genders in the term "bisexuality" and it didn't fit my beliefs, let's say. And yes, even though i'm not "out" to my family, i know they would perfectly accept it. It's just that i don't feel the need to announce it. oh... i'm happy to read this. good for you... it's so good when the family don't mind of what you are, they just love you. i really don't know how my family'll react when i really get out. i'm pretty sure that they know, but i never stoped and said "mom, dad and bros... guess what!" hahah At the same time i think they won't freak out, i think they'll. I really have no idea... anyway... when i do it, i'll come here to tell you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyaboutmika Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 :huglove:so good to see you here, sweetie! I feel happy to see you too :huglove: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyaboutmika Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 oh... i'm happy to read this. good for you... it's so good when the family don't mind of what you are, they just love you.i really don't know how my family'll react when i really get out. i'm pretty sure that they know, but i never stoped and said "mom, dad and bros... guess what!" hahah At the same time i think they won't freak out, i think they'll. I really have no idea... anyway... when i do it, i'll come here to tell you... And I'll be around for hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatoneguy Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 At the same time i think they won't freak out, i think they'll. I really have no idea... Thats the worst part of it, not knowing how they will react. I'm out(ish) to most of my family, not my dad though I want to be out on my own before I tell him. I'm out as gay to my family, basically because I don't want to have to explain Pan to them haha. Also although I do identify as Pan I do fine men the most attractive and I'm most likely going to end up with a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I feel happy to see you too :huglove: And I'll be around for hugs just one thing for you: Thats the worst part of it, not knowing how they will react. I'm out(ish) to most of my family, not my dad though I want to be out on my own before I tell him. I'm out as gay to my family, basically because I don't want to have to explain Pan to them haha. Also although I do identify as Pan I do fine men the most attractive and I'm most likely going to end up with a guy. yeah... i think it's easy to come out as gay then "bi" or anything else. cause it'll take a long (and i think painfull) time to explain everything... question: how did you family react? :teehee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcdeb Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I'm straight and LGBT friendly to the point my gay friends and facebook wonder if I'm gay I had to laugh when I read this, Anne, as it's the same with me. My writing/business partner is a lesbian and for many years I think people assumed that we were a couple. In fact, sometimes people would ask my friend's actual partner if she and I were together, which we found hysterical. Anyway, they just got married last week in Hawaii, so maybe NOW people will get it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatoneguy Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 question: how did you family react? Well my sister was amazing (I knew she would be) my brother didn't believe me at first, and then he was outright terrible, but hes make a lot of effort to be more accepting. With my Mom I still am not sure if she believes it, its been over a year and I still sense her doubt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I had to laugh when I read this, Anne, as it's the same with me. My writing/business partner is a lesbian and for many years I think people assumed that we were a couple. In fact, sometimes people would ask my friend's actual partner if she and I were together, which we found hysterical. Anyway, they just got married last week in Hawaii, so maybe NOW people will get it right. LOOOL:aah: Well my sister was amazing (I knew she would be) my brother didn't believe me at first, and then he was outright terrible, but hes make a lot of effort to be more accepting. With my Mom I still am not sure if she believes it, its been over a year and I still sense her doubt. humm.. got it... sounds pretty good, in a genaral look... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I stumbled upon this thread while reading around the forums (fora?) just now, and was pleasantly surprised that it's still going, 200+ pages later. As a gay ally, I go waaaaaaaaaaaay back. My oldest sister came out of the closet in 1978, which was definitely a shock to my parents. She came home from Colorado with a young wife in tow (they'd had a hand fasting down there) and all of this was new stuff to my parents, for sure. While Dad, at 89, is still saying she's going through a phase, I have accepted her for what she is all along, even though she and I are not particularly close and never have been. The fact she's 17 years older than I am likely has a lot to do with that. I'm pretty sure she still sees me in my button-flap pajamas, dragging my blankie along behind me, even though I'm almost 50 now. I'm a loving advocate and honestly don't know how to be anything else but! Personally, I'm straight, even after a short flirtation with the idea of being with another woman. I think that my interest was more due to aversion to men for a while, due to events I'd rather not go into right now, and I think that's my dad's reasoning for why my sister isn't into men. For me, it seemed a way to escape the pain I was dealing with. Because of my short, spiky hair and "no bullsh*t" attitude, I am often mistaken for a lesbian by those who succumb to stereotypes. I've even had someone yell that "gay marriage sucks!" when my oldest daughter and I walked down the street, hand in hand (when my hair was darker and she was in HS). I am what I am, by my design and by my choice, and I believe we all are, deep inside if not outright. Nobody can make me be what I am not, not after years of denial to myself and the world around me. I love, and I love deeply. A lifetime of empathy makes me nothing less. One of my dearest friends was my "adopted" (by me) brother, the sweetest Mr. Rainbow I've ever had the pleasure to have known. Sadly, he passed away unexpectedly a year ago this past September, and I miss him terribly. I am friends with a number of local people of all stripes, and march in the Pride parade every year. The aching I feel in so many people who take advantage of my sign offering FREE HUGS every year at the festival makes me wish the world were a kinder, more open and accepting place. Here's to those who live their lives genuinely, love their lovers genuinely, and pour their hearts and souls into making a better world for everyone. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I had to laugh when I read this, Anne, as it's the same with me. My writing/business partner is a lesbian and for many years I think people assumed that we were a couple. In fact, sometimes people would ask my friend's actual partner if she and I were together, which we found hysterical. Anyway, they just got married last week in Hawaii, so maybe NOW people will get it right. My daughter and I have been mistaken for a lesbian couple too. THAT is freaky right there. Guess a mother and daughter can't hold hands in public without someone reading the wrong message there. Some people's children, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 My daughter and I have been mistaken for a lesbian couple too. THAT is freaky right there. Guess a mother and daughter can't hold hands in public without someone reading the wrong message there. Some people's children, eh? Gosh... how that's possible? people have prejudice of love, no metter the "way" of loving... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kezza Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Gosh... how that's possible? people have prejudice of love, no metter the "way" of loving... Hi Wesley! I suppose it was because we were so comfortable with each other in our affection. There was nothing sexual about it, but all in the eye of the beholder. He saw two women, one with very short hair and one with it long, one more asexual and one more feminine, and drew his conclusions in ignorance. Because I wear my hair short and spiky, I am often confused for a lesbian by those who don't know any better. I was hoping that you'd see the post prior to that one, because it tells quite a bit about where I am in terms of acceptance, as a parent and as a relative. I had a period of time where I was very seriously attracted to another girl, over 4000 miles away, It is a good thing she was, too, as I realized afterward that it was because I was so desperate to escape the situation I was in that she seemed to be the perfect way out. I recognize fully that this is not the case for everyone, because of my background, but I mention it because it's important to me that people realize that stereotypes hurt everyone, including those of us who are straight but live unorthodox lives. I love everyone, without reservation or hesitation. The way I love varies from person to person, but shouldn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Müller Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hi Wesley! I suppose it was because we were so comfortable with each other in our affection. There was nothing sexual about it, but all in the eye of the beholder. He saw two women, one with very short hair and one with it long, one more asexual and one more feminine, and drew his conclusions in ignorance. Because I wear my hair short and spiky, I am often confused for a lesbian by those who don't know any better. I was hoping that you'd see the post prior to that one, because it tells quite a bit about where I am in terms of acceptance, as a parent and as a relative. I had a period of time where I was very seriously attracted to another girl, over 4000 miles away, It is a good thing she was, too, as I realized afterward that it was because I was so desperate to escape the situation I was in that she seemed to be the perfect way out. I recognize fully that this is not the case for everyone, because of my background, but I mention it because it's important to me that people realize that stereotypes hurt everyone, including those of us who are straight but live unorthodox lives. I love everyone, without reservation or hesitation. The way I love varies from person to person, but shouldn't it? I see... quite the same happened to me, but with my older brother, who's my godfather as well. It's so... awkward, i can't find another word, maybe weird, but it's too much. Anyway, it's so ~~different~~ when people sexualise the purest love, like mother and daughter's love, and brother and brother's love as well. Gosh... it's really, reeeeeally hurts! Since... ever! i was called as pussy, fagot and every other ~~~~name~~~~ gay man can get. I remember at shcool, many years ago, i had to handle myself a hole class with almost all students dissing me with words, draws etc. That really hurted, but, at the same time, i could see who were my real friends... Ok, must say that i have no idea how this came up. Sorry! Of course it shoud change... thanks God there're many kinds of people! But the most important is: there's a curly-cute-sexy-skinny-hot singer that we aaaaaall can love together... Ok... i'll stop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatoneguy Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hi Wesley! I suppose it was because we were so comfortable with each other in our affection. There was nothing sexual about it, but all in the eye of the beholder. He saw two women, one with very short hair and one with it long, one more asexual and one more feminine, and drew his conclusions in ignorance. Because I wear my hair short and spiky, I am often confused for a lesbian by those who don't know any better. I was hoping that you'd see the post prior to that one, because it tells quite a bit about where I am in terms of acceptance, as a parent and as a relative. I had a period of time where I was very seriously attracted to another girl, over 4000 miles away, It is a good thing she was, too, as I realized afterward that it was because I was so desperate to escape the situation I was in that she seemed to be the perfect way out. I recognize fully that this is not the case for everyone, because of my background, but I mention it because it's important to me that people realize that stereotypes hurt everyone, including those of us who are straight but live unorthodox lives. I love everyone, without reservation or hesitation. The way I love varies from person to person, but shouldn't it? "Friendliness is so uncommon that it is mistaken for flirtation." This is the quote of my life. A relevant example is tonight during a game of beer pong the person I was playing against was determined to 'set me up' with a friend of mine. I mean she was totally within my 'date' radar but she was in a 'ship. but this beer pong opponent was determined that we would be a perfect couple. I mean.... friendliness shouldn't mean attraction. This is my biggest issue with pansexuality. Everyone assumes that I want to sleep with them because I am a genuinely nice person. If I help you move its not because I want in your pants, its because I know that moving sucks and someone helping is nice. Funk people confuse me. Wish this wine was white Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuittu Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 "Friendliness is so uncommon that it is mistaken for flirtation." This is the quote of my life. A relevant example is tonight during a game of beer pong the person I was playing against was determined to 'set me up' with a friend of mine. I mean she was totally within my 'date' radar but she was in a 'ship. but this beer pong opponent was determined that we would be a perfect couple. I mean.... friendliness shouldn't mean attraction. This is my biggest issue with pansexuality. Everyone assumes that I want to sleep with them because I am a genuinely nice person. If I help you move its not because I want in your pants, its because I know that moving sucks and someone helping is nice. Funk people confuse me. Wish this wine was white I wish the wine was white too I just heard about this blog or something, #queerhelsinki where people with queer attitude were asked to be photographed (where ever they were, shopping, having coffee...). First I was like whaaat, but it's actually an intresting project. No questions asked about your sexual orientation or anything, just beautiful photos of ordinary people. There aren't many photos yet but it could become really cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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