Please stop the bullying

[Mika Freaka =)]

We have that in common then.

 

I don't think we have, I'm Marjolein. ^^

 

Nice to meet you.

 

lol pleasure to meet you

[Nielo]

lol pleasure to meet you

 

I really love your siggy btw! Did you make it?

[Mika4Life13]

I don't understand, what happened?

[Nielo]

I don't understand, what happened?

 

Are you referring to the first post? I think it was just about making sure MFC is a happy and tolerant place in general.

[Mika Freaka =)]

I really love your siggy btw! Did you make it?

 

no i wish i did! i just found it when i was browsing

[Mika4Life13]

Are you referring to the first post? I think it was just about making sure MFC is a happy and tolerant place in general.

yes, but i don't understand - something must'e happened for this to happen. :S

[Nielo]

no i wish i did! i just found it when i was browsing

 

I wish I was able to make things like that as well, but I'm afraid I couldn't even do it at gunpoint.

 

It's a really happy siggy though.

[Nielo]

yes, but i don't understand - something must'e happened for this to happen. :S

 

Um, I guess it was the Luke is leaving thread. (The one that is now closed.)

[Mika4Life13]

Um, I guess it was the Luke is leaving thread. (The one that is now closed.)

Oh , i understand someone explained it

[Nielo]

Oh , i understand someone explained it

 

Good.

[Mika Freaka =)]

I wish I was able to make things like that as well, but I'm afraid I couldn't even do it at gunpoint.

 

It's a really happy siggy though.

 

lol me niether, you should see my very rough drawings:shocked:

 

it is very happy, so if im in a bad mood it just puts me off lol!

[Nielo]

lol me niether, you should see my very rough drawings:shocked:

 

it is very happy, so if im in a bad mood it just puts me off lol!

 

Haha, mine too!

 

Yeah, it's just one of those pics that makes sure you instantly feel happy.

 

For me, it's this song.

[Mika Freaka =)]

Haha, mine too!

 

Yeah, it's just one of those pics that makes sure you instantly feel happy.

 

For me, it's this song.

 

it doesnt wanna play

[BonjourMika1990]

Oh trust me, I agree:wink2:

 

Sarcasm can be unattractive if used...ALL THE TIME...with people actually trying to resolve issues. It's frustrating. The problem, now, is over for me. ( So, I think) and the reason why is simply that I'm not really on here alot anymore.

 

Sad, but true... There's no way, I've discovered, to light a camp fire and force people to be nice. So, we just need to rely on everyone's judgement, and stand back while they make their own decisions to either play nice or bully.

 

*The 'Ignore' button always works:thumb_yello:*

[Nielo]

it doesnt wanna play :tears

 

That's weird. It works when I click on it.

 

Anyway, it's "I'm gonna be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers. It's the soundtrack to the movie "Benny & Joon".

 

Oh trust me, I agree:wink2:

 

Sarcasm can be unattractive if used...ALL THE TIME...with people actually trying to resolve issues. It's frustrating. The problem, now, is over for me. ( So, I think) and the reason why is simply that I'm not really on here alot anymore.

 

Sad, but true... There's no way, I've discovered, to light a camp fire and force people to be nice. So, we just need to rely on everyone's judgement, and stand back while they make their own decisions to either play nice or bully.

 

*The 'Ignore' button always works:thumb_yello:*

 

Yeah, you might be right. Ignoring is often my method of choice. (Unless people really get on my nerves. )

It's true, it's simply impossible for everyone to get along. But part of me still likes to think that if we try really hard, maybe, it could work some time.

(The rest of me usually tells that part to get real. )

[Mika Freaka =)]

That's weird. It works when I click on it.

 

Anyway, it's "I'm gonna be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers. It's the soundtrack to the movie "Benny & Joon".

 

i have to go! ta ta

[Nielo]

i have to go! ta ta

 

Okay, nice talking to you! ^^

 

[phunkygal]

I agree completely, so let me share some different things:

 

1. when i first joined here back in May '07, people treated me like crap, therefore i didnt start post till late june/early july. I think that first impressions are everythign to a lot of people and i have personally tried to be nice to the newbies.

 

2. I am probably guilty of bullying here many times in early this year, but i made it a point to stop and be mature because i only did it because certain members really got wound up by me, and i found it pretty funny. obviously it wasn't the right thing to do, so i stopped.

 

3. I think the 'age' issue effects me, personally(as well as many others) a lot. Because I am 13, certain people look down on me as immature or not knowing what i am talking about.

 

a. maybe I am not the most smart one on here, but I am smart enough for my age

 

b. i find me, a 13 year old, more mature than a lot of people in there 20's or 30's on here.

 

 

Not to say that evryone discriminates against age, it is just that it ticks me off when certain people do. like when they say 'well you wouldnt understand cuz you are just a little girl' and stuff like that. because personally i find myself more mature than a lot of people my age and i think sometimes '13' makes people cringe.

[musicfreak]

i completely agree racha! thanks for your input, i was afraid i was the only one thinking this. maybe this will let people know that just because you may think it's funny to one person, it may come out the wrong way to another. :wink:

[Nielo]

I agree completely, so let me share some different things:

 

1. when i first joined here back in May '07, people treated me like crap, therefore i didnt start post till late june/early july. I think that first impressions are everythign to a lot of people and i have personally tried to be nice to the newbies.

 

2. I am probably guilty of bullying here many times in early this year, but i made it a point to stop and be mature because i only did it because certain members really got wound up by me, and i found it pretty funny. obviously it wasn't the right thing to do, so i stopped.

 

3. I think the 'age' issue effects me, personally(as well as many others) a lot. Because I am 13, certain people look down on me as immature or not knowing what i am talking about.

 

a. maybe I am not the most smart one on here, but I am smart enough for my age

 

b. i find me, a 13 year old, more mature than a lot of people in there 20's or 30's on here.

 

 

Not to say that evryone discriminates against age, it is just that it ticks me off when certain people do. like when they say 'well you wouldnt understand cuz you are just a little girl' and stuff like that. because personally i find myself more mature than a lot of people my age and i think sometimes '13' makes people cringe.

 

That's too bad people treated you badly at first! A lot of forums are like that, and I usually just stop going there. This one was actually surprisingly nice to me from the very beginning.

 

It's weird how some people look down on you because of your age. You do seem mature for your age, I thought you were older than 13. ^^

[Mika4Life13]

I agree completely, so let me share some different things:

 

1. when i first joined here back in May '07, people treated me like crap, therefore i didnt start post till late june/early july. I think that first impressions are everythign to a lot of people and i have personally tried to be nice to the newbies.

 

2. I am probably guilty of bullying here many times in early this year, but i made it a point to stop and be mature because i only did it because certain members really got wound up by me, and i found it pretty funny. obviously it wasn't the right thing to do, so i stopped.

 

3. I think the 'age' issue effects me, personally(as well as many others) a lot. Because I am 13, certain people look down on me as immature or not knowing what i am talking about.

 

a. maybe I am not the most smart one on here, but I am smart enough for my age

 

b. i find me, a 13 year old, more mature than a lot of people in there 20's or 30's on here.

 

 

Not to say that evryone discriminates against age, it is just that it ticks me off when certain people do. like when they say 'well you wouldnt understand cuz you are just a little girl' and stuff like that. because personally i find myself more mature than a lot of people my age and i think sometimes '13' makes people cringe.

I agree completely bre!

 

You've developed and you're a lovely person to be around. And the age thing

 

OH MY GOD!

We get descriminated against for being an age we really can't help. It hurts badly. Before I showed my age, I was treated of value, then i tell people my age and they treat me like I'm four. Who's acting like the young one now?

[Petra]

I havent been here for the last few hours so please excuse if I start MQing from the first few pages as well.

 

Again this is a matter of perspective. You may think no one knows anything about this member but that's not what other posters believe. I'm not saying it's right or that we want to allow abuse of any nature in this forum. But this is not simply a case of people jumping on a random poster that they didn't agree with.

 

That last part you mention is a general problem of this forum - some people "know" something, some don't. It doesnt necessarily man that those who "know" know the truth (and it neither means it is not the truth) but I don't think that this gives anyone the right to say something like "Your opinion doesnt count because you dont know" (which has happened but please dont ask me for examples; it's somewhere hidden in the middle of the Luke-thread). What is meant with this not simply being a case of people jumping on a random poster? What do these people know apart from various interpretations that arise from the EIGHT posts that poster has posted and apart from a photo that was, obviously, taken backstage? There is always a way to get private pictures and some of us should know that. And as long as there is no official statement about this poster being a dodgy person, as long as "we" all dont know any specifics, we cannot (to my mind) say anything. Whoever this poster is, nobody here has a right to react on her posts that way. It is unfair. It is rude. We all come from different background etc.pp. and everybody here is different. Some have no problem posting private pictures and discussing their deepest inner feelings about things on the open board; some have. But does that mean that those who dont like showing openly "who they are" or what gender they are are dodgy and can be suspected to be trolls? Or can even the very open posters be trolls? Who knows. I dont know and I am definitely not starting to stalk certain posters around here just because I think that the opinion they displayed was dodgy. This is the internet and of course there are probably quite a number of people around here (probably even regular posters) that dont present them they way they "really are".

 

 

if a joke ends up insulting someone.. or offending another.. it stops being a joke and becomes an insult..

(...)

but when I read a joke deeply hurting someone else.. I personally view it as bullying..

 

Agreed.

 

Okay, the first time I read that in your earlier post I decided to just swallow it and not say anything but having it repeated here is just a bit much IMO.

Not only have you called people arrogant and immature which is an insult in itself, but you are also now repeatedly encouraging forum members (non mods) to play the sheriff game and browse threads for the purpose to find apparently immature or 'abusive' posts out of context and report them. And that is mature, yes?

Calling on people to denounce others is definitely the way to go if you want to bring back harmony and care bear bubbles to this forum.

'Bullying' and 'abusive' are strong words and I think there are things mixed up here which don't go together by definition. If you want to go and look for every immature post in this forum you will find yourself occupied for the rest of the year.

 

This is not what Racha was talking about. No matter who a person finally is - he or she deserves respect. It's a thin line between a joke, sarcasm and abusive behaviour and bullying and this line has, IMO, often been crossed in the last days.

Nobody asks anyone to play the sheriff - who'd do that anyway? I think we are all already busy enough with real life and our subscribed threads in general. But yes if course it's mature to report offensive posts. And it is also mature to remind MFCers that there is the possibility to do so.

 

But I think this thread isn't about mods interfering/perceiving bullying, but about MFCer thinking about how they act. I don't care what tensions there are, nothing excuses the way people acted.

 

I totally agree.

 

 

Okay, I don't want to pick out examples, especially, because it was just going on throughout the entire thread whenever anyone voiced a contrasting opinion, but I found the case of OhhLookie the most shocking. Where on earth is the rule implying that people with less posts are not allowed to state their opinion? If we need to clock up X amount of posts ogling Mika or having random discussions before anyone will give us any respect on this board, that is just disgusting.

 

Yes. Exactly. If someone is a new Mika fan - does that mean that their opinion isnt valued as much as somebody who has been here since April 2007 or so and has >1,000 posts?

 

 

You don't think that was anyone's intent? Would you like it if anyone talked maliciously about you for how ever many pages that went on for?

 

No. Not at all. I wouldnt like it.

In my opinion (only mine): what those people posted there was rude and meant to mock and bully the other MFCer because they didnt take her for what she said she is. Maybe she isnt who she said she was, maybe I'm not who I say I am, maybe member XY is actually male while displaying a female sign on the board - the point is that EVERYONE here deserves respect and even if someone appears dodgy, then nobody, absolutely nobody has the tinyest right to be rude.

[Petra]

This is how the MFC works, the mods can't possibly read all posts, or understand what is going on behind them, but if someone is offended or hurt by a post, and can't sort it out with the poster, then they should be encouraged to report it.

I think you've mis-interpreted.

 

Agreed.

 

When I first joined this forum, Artsy had herself listed as a male (don't even know whether she still does, haven't seen her in ages). She used to post in the Aussies a lot and it really threw me, cos it took me ages to work out she's a female. I just presumed that this person was being "contrary" in the same way.

 

There are quite a number of people around here who display a gender that ia different from the one they actually belong to. And here even someone who says they are male (while being female) suspected OL to be dodgy because she had an arrow next to her username.

 

 

I didn't know that troll was a well known forum term and presumed the first time I read it that LM was being insulting, which really suprised me. Since I didn't know that, and know nothing else about "classic troll behaviour", I will readily put my hand up to thinking that MFC'ers were being horrible. I can assure you I was paying attention, horrified attention at that, and I couldn't believe what I was reading. That's why I wrote what I wrote. Thinking that I was standing up for someone. If I've made a mistake and there was something else going on, I'm sorry. But I guess I'm glad that I spoke up for what i thought was an injustice, usually I don't have enough spine to do that.

 

That was the first time I heard the term "troll" as well.

 

If I adopted a fake username and came onto MFC I would not care what anyone had to say to my troll persona. Because that's not me. That's why people invent fake personas in the first place. To protect themselves with anonymity and play games with other members of the board.

 

Could everyone be mistaken and OohLookie is actually a single mother of 2 who had no intention of deceiving anyone? Possibly. But I still maintain it was not anyone's intent to speak maliciously to a "real" poster.

 

But who says that this was a fake username and that this user didnt care about what people were saying about them? There were only eight posts that could be used "against" that very user. I simply dont understand HOW people could derive anything from that. And thus I dont understand how people could post things like that. I followed the thread and I was really like when I saw that.

 

Now, I'm sorry, but I don't see OL's posts as shouting "TROLL!" I believe her, and we should all have a bit of decency and believe the best in people.

So what if her first post was a little "cryptic" - it was (pretty much) her first message board post! And she made it very clear afterwards that she was not trying to stir anyone up or looking for trouble.

I wouldn't like to think every new member has to prove themselves to a group of negative people who aren't even open to believing them anyway

 

Exactly. I fully agree. Eight posts are no way to prove that she is a liar!

 

People are fine to stick up for their opinions, but when they are so un-open (I don't think that's a word ) to other people's opinions that when they are voiced instead of thinking about them or ignoring them, they make immature/insulting remarks about them, that's not on. And that was through the entire thread right from the start It's why I stopped posting there, and the same for a LOT of other people. And that is NOT a very nice environment on a message board...

 

Yep. I've been speaking to various people via unprivate messages here and they all said that there was no use posting in the thread again and again because people kept to their opinions and werent accepting other opinions.

 

 

Regardless of intent, if it was a possibility, then it shouldn't have been happening. And if OhhLookie WAS a 'troll', wouldn't the kind of attention given to her been exactly what she wanted? If this is how people saw her, the smarter reaction would have been to just ignore her.

 

Good point.

 

I have said around 20 times now that I acted that way because I believe it's a troll. I hate trolls, insider oracles, "deeks" and fake accounts more than anything else in the cyberworld, which I have also stated pretty much every time there has been one in here. If I for one second believed that this could possibly be a really shy single mother who hadn't dared to post for a year, then I would gladly have welcomed her, no matter what gender she claimed to be. For me it had nothing to do with the gender, it had to do with the timing, the choice of post to react to and the cryptic bla bla. If you believe I'm a bully because I don't like to be ****ed over by fakes, then I guess I'll just have to live with that, but I'm still not gonna welcome a troll EVER!

 

If that's your opinion, so be it. *shrugs* But I would really like to know which posts, which sentence, which smiley she used convinced you of her not being the person she claimed to be? How do you notice that someone is a traitor, ehm, I mean "troll"? How?

 

 

I've already said that it shouldn't have gone on the way it did. But I cannot undo what's already been done. The thread is closed and any further taunting of trolls is going to be curtailed if a mod is here to intervene. I don't know what else you expect us to do at this point.

 

Nobody expects anything to be done.

We're just thinking here, opening our eyes, whatever.

 

There is nothing one can do here, except for pointing out that there HAVE been mistakes before. It all goes in circles; people do something, threads turn up, threads die (like that "closing threads" thread), people do something, threads are revived / opened. I know there is nothing that can be done but I feel much much better if the fact that there are people that have different opinions, that dont like certain behaviours on the board is highlighted from time to time. Like now. It is important to me that those people that only read the board from time to time or new users SEE what is going on here. It is important that threads like the Respect-thread or the Tone on the MFC-thread are revived. Of course things cant be changed. But it's important to think about everything we do and thus to open our eyes like OKD said.

[Mika4Life13]

I also find there's a few people on here that ignore. I might be one of them, but I know it's not intentional. But if I go into a thread and am blatantly ignored, it's rude. When MFC down my good friend and I were on msn talking. I asked her : Why she wasn't in the MFC chatroom, and she said it was because people were ignoring her, no one said hi except for me. I had to scream from the mountain tops to be heard, lol.

[Nielo]

I also find there's a few people on here that ignore. I might be one of them, but I know it's not intentional. But if I go into a thread and am blatantly ignored, it's rude. When MFC down my good friend and I were on msn talking. I asked her : Why she wasn't in the MFC chatroom, and she said it was because people were ignoring her, no one said hi except for me. I had to scream from the mountain tops to be heard, lol.

 

I'm afraid stuff like that happens on all forums. It's actually less bad here than it is in most places (at least in my experience). It does happen here, unfortunately, but it's not default behavior. (It'd be better of course, if it wouldn't happen at all, but I'm afraid that's a difficult goal to achieve.)