Please stop the bullying

[sariflor]

Sara, I've quoted you out of context (ie not in the correct thread) because I feel my reply has more to do with this thread than the other one. And this is not personally directed at you, I'm using what you said as an illustration.

 

What I've highlighted above is the section about believing that people need to be treated with some respect.

 

My question then is: Do we believe that ALL people deserve respect (like we believe Luke needed to be treated with respect) or is that reserved only for those people who we like or who we think are decent people?

 

What about when someone is rude or aggressive to us? Do they still deserve respect then, even if they haven't shown any to us? Or is that the signal that it's also O.K. for us to put aside politeness or respect and retaliate in kind? Are there extenuating circumstances where the rules of common courtesy can be suspended if you so choose, because you feel that you were attacked or whatever?

 

I realise not everyone is perfect, not everyone is always in the best mood/frame of mind on here and that it's a place where a lot of us come to drop our guard a bit and have a muck around with some friends. I do it. I'm glad the Aussies are a reasonably tolerant bunch, cos my sense of humour sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. I don't want people feeling like they are always stepping on eggshells here and can't be themselves.

 

So the questions I've asked above are not meant to preachy. They are meant to be serious. I seriously, honestly want to know what people think. Is this possibly devisive? Maybe. Maybe no-one will answer me. Maybe you'd prefer to pm me. I'll even clear out my box.

 

Curious to know people's opinions on this....

 

I don't find it a problem to answer, and it is a fair question....I will answer quickly as I'm knackered and off to bed.

 

Personally (as in how I see things, and life) I think that everyone who treats others with respect initially deserves this.

However, when people are mean, disrespectful etc to others, then I think they are forfeiting their right to be treated that way.

 

Of course others will think that this is not the case, but I am stating my opinion only. And I think that if someone is nasty, they should not deserve to be treated with all respect.

 

Anyway quite short, would love to elaborate, but i am seriously half brain dead.

 

Goodnight

 

[chickadee]

I don't find it a problem to answer, and it is a fair question....I will answer quickly as I'm knackered and off to bed.

 

Personally (as in how I see things, and life) I think that everyone who treats others with respect initially deserves this.

However, when people are mean, disrespectful etc to others, then I think they are forfeiting their right to be treated that way.

 

Of course others will think that this is not the case, but I am stating my opinion only. And I think that if someone is nasty, they should not deserve to be treated with all respect.

 

Anyway quite short, would love to elaborate, but i am seriously half brain dead.

 

Goodnight

 

Thanks for answering me seriously. I appreciate your point of view. Sleep well!

[JackViolet]

Oh, well thanks for giving us more info, Lookie! I hope you take a "lookie" around the other threads and find ones that a tad less dramatic and emotion-charged to post in. As you may know, if you're been looking around here for a year, we have plenty of lighter threads--and plenty of threads just to discuss Mika, in the Talk About Mika section! If you're a serious-minded fan, it would be great to have your insight on the lyrics, for example... that's a great section that's sadly not as popular as it should be.

 

Anyway, I daresay like many forums we tend to "haze" newbies sometimes... people were indeed a bit shocked at your abrupt arrival, but if you stay around, you may find people have started warming up already, and you'll soon make plenty of friends.

 

--Jack

[Oakie Doke]

Well, even Deb questioned it when it was posted...and OL never clarified the matter:

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1620&page=2

 

Yes she did.

 

I know that you've posted some information from time to time that Trolls like Deek would enjoy.

 

What kind of information would trolls like Deek enjoy?

 

And when people were doing that stuff for Deek they thought she was Mika, not that she was a troll, or they were trying to prove she was him/related, it's like ... if a stalker is spying on someone and sees and stops them from being murdered by a burglar or something, does that make it right they were stalking them? (Sorry, that random stalker example is not inspired by the deek thing, I'm watching CSI, but it's my point)

 

Good question. If this member is indeed a 'troll', he/she is not worth spending so much time on. If it is in fact an actual legitimate member, she doesn't deserve this kinda stuff being said about her.

 

Amen.

 

I think the 'age' issue effects me, personally(as well as many others) a lot. Because I am 13, certain people look down on me as immature or not knowing what i am talking about.

 

a. maybe I am not the most smart one on here, but I am smart enough for my age

 

b. i find me, a 13 year old, more mature than a lot of people in there 20's or 30's on here.

 

Not to say that everyone discriminates against age, it is just that it ticks me off when certain people do. like when they say 'well you wouldnt understand cuz you are just a little girl' and stuff like that. because personally i find myself more mature than a lot of people my age and i think sometimes '13' makes people cringe.

 

Yes! This is a big issue too!

In RL I don't think I would listen seriously to a 13 year old () but on here I've realised with you, M4L, JJl, etc, how fricking mature you can be, and age doesn't mean anything.

But there is definately discrimination on age, number of posts, join date, language skills, etc, and it's not on

 

That last part you mention is a general problem of this forum - some people "know" something, some don't.

 

Yes, this to.

 

In my opinion (only mine): what those people posted there was rude and meant to mock and bully the other MFCer because they didnt take her for what she said she is. Maybe she isnt who she said she was, maybe I'm not who I say I am, maybe member XY is actually male while displaying a female sign on the board - the point is that EVERYONE here deserves respect and even if someone appears dodgy, then nobody, absolutely nobody has the tinyest right to be rude.

 

Exactly, exactly, exactly!

 

Yep. I've been speaking to various people via unprivate messages here and they all said that there was no use posting in the thread again and again because people kept to their opinions and werent accepting other opinions.

 

Exactly, and this is the whole point of the thread. This is the kind of atmosphere we get whenever any issues stir up the MFC. There's no point saying 'the thread is closed, the drama is over, let's hope it doesn't happen again' because there is no doubt that it will happen again. This board becomes not a nice place to be on whenever we get issues like this, and I wish it didn't.

 

I also find there's a few people on here that ignore. I might be one of them, but I know it's not intentional. But if I go into a thread and am blatantly ignored, it's rude. When MFC down my good friend and I were on msn talking. I asked her : Why she wasn't in the MFC chatroom, and she said it was because people were ignoring her, no one said hi except for me. I had to scream from the mountain tops to be heard, lol.

 

Exactly, it's a very crappy feeling to be ignored. And it's easily enough to keep people away. What a lovely community we have if it's one like that.

 

If someone's a poser, that's obviously wrong, but not only do I need more evidence than my gut feeling, I also don't really care. But that's just me. I can see why it bothers people, although I'm still not sure this user was troll.

 

Yeah, exactly what I think.

 

I'm not too keen on internet people after what happened at my school Now, I only have 3 people I'm really friends with because...well, you can never tell with interweb.

 

What happened at your school??!

 

A troll is someone who shows up on a message board, with no tangible prior history in the community, and makes posts than can be considered offensive - generally with the intent of causing a stir among established members.

 

OhhLookie came out of nowhere and told me that I would "regret" criticizing Mika's web strategy. Not knowing who this person is or what his/her story is, I initially had no background with which to interpret that comment.

 

Perhaps he/she meant that I'd regret saying that when Mika unveils a new, amazing site; but perhaps he/she meant that I'd regret it because he/she was in the habit of, I don't know, emailing viruses to people who criticize Mika. Or that I'd regret it because Mika would have me banned for speaking my mind. How was I to know? I didn't have any prior knowledge of this person, apart from one cryptic first post over a year ago.

 

And like I said, I appreciate that he/she explained what he/she meant, and that it wasn't meant to be a threat. But the reasons above are why I called him/her a troll, based on that first post in the Luke thread.

 

Huh?

But her very next post explained this is what she meant (which I didn't interpret in the way you did at all)?

 

I do find it hilarious regarding my "identity"! When I join a forum I never add any details (since we are always warned about identity theft etc) and just ignored all the gaps to fill...

 

It's stupid that anyone should have to offer explanations.

To be allowed to offer opinions on topics on MFC we shouldn't have to establish ourselves / be obsessed with the place / post our life stories in which ever threads first.

 

Tales :thumb_yello

 

 

Sorry.

 

 

 

Really mature.

 

What I've highlighted above is the section about believing that people need to be treated with some respect.

 

My question then is: Do we believe that ALL people deserve respect (like we believe Luke needed to be treated with respect) or is that reserved only for those people who we like or who we think are decent people?

 

If someone is rude/aggressive/offensive to you, the mature way to react is not with the same thing back, surely that is one of the first things everyone learns as a kid? *can't remember the saying*

Saying that, I'll admit it can feel good to let out steam on someone who provokes you, regardless of what the clever thing to do would be.

However, as we've established time and time again, on a written worldwide online forum like this, there's always chance for misinterpretations, and anybody should at least stay calm and establish that someone was infact intending to disrespect them in the first place.

That's what I think. Did I make sence?

[Blue Sky]

The deek situation has evolved like a game of Chinese whispers (Is that even politically correct to say anymore?) deek posted as if she was Mika's close friend. I didn't think anyone thought deek was Mika, that would have been impossible. (deek posted photos while shows were still running.) deek was subsequently exposed as a "troll" as defined earlier. Apart from that I don't think deek is relevant to this discussion because we never wrote in a disrespectful way to deek. (unsuspecting as we were).

 

I would like to think we should all write respectfully no matter what, but I know that human nature is such that we won't/can't. Some of us are young, some are tired, some just broke up with their boyfriend, some had a bad day at work, some have foreign language challenges, some are not inclined to be sweet on a regular basis and some just disagree with the concept.

 

But I do think we should remember how public this place is. A Google search for "deek troll Mika" brings up this thread as #1 hit. (and that was before I posted those words repeatedly).

 

And "Mika bullying" brings this thread up at #4. This thread will soon surpass the google rankings for the very real life bullying that Mika himself suffered. Which I confess I find a little weird.

[Petra]

I really have caused a stir then!!

 

I just want to clarify and say a few things. I really didn't mean all this to happen and I want to apologise for any part I may have inadvertently played in this situation. I also appreciate the PM's which has brought me back to here...

 

I do find it hilarious regarding my "identity"! When I join a forum I never add any details (since we are always warned about identity theft etc) and just ignored all the gaps to fill... including (to my detriment) the section on "gender"! Well I've fixed that! :naughty

Sometimes I wish I was male! And played bass and was called "Mikey"! (poor guy's gonna get booed and wont know why!! :boxed). Funny reading back I may have come to the same conclusion! To add I also posted when saranayde was "attacked" and someone thought I was her as well I believe!

 

So I havent introduced myself right?

 

Ok my name IS Jennie! (I don't do surnames on the internet btw!) I AM a mom of 2. I did breast feed! I'm not on forums alot but enjoy reading posts but have even less time to post... but kids on holiday with ex right now! I LOVE Mika's music and been to 1 performance... yes with the kids!! Oh yes... part time researcher on a well known media magazine specializing in music... I'm also too old to be offended... for too long! :naughty

 

Apologies if I dont post too often but trying to lead by example and not spend too much free time on the internet!

 

Time for bed!

 

OL

 

PS "OhhLookie" is a catchphrase by Frankie Howerd!!!

 

I'm glad you came back - I wouldnt have done so. I'm sorry for everything that happened. And I still wonder since when people expect a full CV before one is allowed to post one's opinion .

Good to have you here!

 

 

My question then is: Do we believe that ALL people deserve respect (like we believe Luke needed to be treated with respect) or is that reserved only for those people who we like or who we think are decent people?

 

Both. Everyone deserves repect in the first place.

 

What about when someone is rude or aggressive to us? Do they still deserve respect then, even if they haven't shown any to us? Or is that the signal that it's also O.K. for us to put aside politeness or respect and retaliate in kind? Are there extenuating circumstances where the rules of common courtesy can be suspended if you so choose, because you feel that you were attacked or whatever?

 

It's a thin line (again). One post cannot in every case be enough to really judge if someone is being rude or not (in some certain cases it CAN though ). If someone is offensive, they don't deserve the respect another member deserves. But however angry am I at that very poster, *I* will not make use of calling someone names or anything or start writing offensive nonP Ms. There are members I dont respect at all anymore but I will never ever let myself down to their level and behave the way they behave. I am angry, I am angry at specific people around here but I will not act disrespectful towards them because this is an open forum and I don't like seeing open rude fights on it. I much rather restrain myself to "nice" thoughts or messages to other members :das3:.

 

 

What kind of information would trolls like Deek enjoy? :blink

 

That might really be intersting to know .

 

Yes! This is a big issue too!

In RL I don't think I would listen seriously to a 13 year old (:shocked) but on here I've realised with you, M4L, JJl, etc, how fricking mature you can be, and age doesn't mean anything.

But there is definately discrimination on age, number of posts, join date, language skills, etc, and it's not on :thumbdown

 

I am coaching a group of approx. 20 children/teenagers aged 10-13 and there are a few that I get along with FRICKING well and we are real friends "although" I am 12 years older (pshhhhhhht. Don't tell anyone). And there are those that constantly make me want to kill either them or myself. I don't know the age of most people around here but there is no difference if someone is 35 or 13. It's the opinion they display, the posts they post. It's not about the age of the person sitting behind the screen.

 

Exactly, and this is the whole point of the thread. This is the kind of atmosphere we get whenever any issues stir up the MFC. There's no point saying 'the thread is closed, the drama is over, let's hope it doesn't happen again' because there is no doubt that it will happen again. This board becomes not a nice place to be on whenever we get issues like this, and I wish it didn't.

 

Exactly!!!

 

 

Exactly, it's a very crappy feeling to be ignored. And it's easily enough to keep people away. What a lovely community we have if it's one like that.

 

*isn't ignoring you*

 

 

 

It's stupid that anyone should have to offer explanations.

To be allowed to offer opinions on topics on MFC we shouldn't have to establish ourselves / be obsessed with the place / post our life stories in which ever threads first.

 

It was different when I first came here last year. I registered but never really intended to post and then quite a while later I did in anyway. I dont know what and where my first post was (no idea, really) but I remember that one of my first posts was asking for something we are not supposed to ask for and nobody was unfriendly. It's different now with so many "established" members.

But after all: saying that someone is a newbie AFTER being registered for a YEAR - that's just stupid.

 

 

Tales :lmfao :thumb_yello

 

 

Sorry. :blink

 

 

 

:lmfao

 

Really mature.

 

Yep.

 

However, as we've established time and time again, on a written worldwide online forum like this, there's always chance for misinterpretations, and anybody should at least stay calm and establish that someone was in fact intending to disrespect them in the first place.

That's what I think. Did I make sence? :blink

 

You didnt only make cents, you made dollars.

[Oakie Doke]

The deek situation has evolved like a game of Chinese whispers (Is that even politically correct to say anymore?) deek posted as if she was Mika's close friend. I didn't think anyone thought deek was Mika, that would have been impossible. (deek posted photos while shows were still running.) deek was subsequently exposed as a "troll" as defined earlier. Apart from that I don't think deek is relevant to this discussion because we never wrote in a disrespectful way to deek. (unsuspecting as we were).

 

Like you said, why the heck are we still talking about Deek?

But in that little bit of thread that I read (whcih again, isn't what we are talking about) people thought Deek was Mika. Should I just add a troll into this paragraph too to help google out? (I do love how we judge a thread's topic/relevance by it's google ranking though )

 

It's a thin line (again). One post cannot in every case be enough to really judge if someone is being rude or not (in some certain cases it CAN though). If someone is offensive, they don't deserve the respect another member deserves. But however angry am I at that very poster, *I* will not make use of calling someone names or anything or start writing offensive nonP Ms. There are members I dont respect at all anymore but I will never ever let myself down to their level and behave the way they behave. I am angry, I am angry at specific people around here but I will not act disrespectful towards them because this is an open forum and I don't like seeing open rude fights on it. I much rather restrain myself to "nice" thoughts or messages to other members.

 

Good point. It's not so much about what a rude person deserves, but about yourself. By being rude back, you are being rude, and so then you don't deserve any respect yourself?

 

I am coaching a group of approx. 20 children/teenagers aged 10-13 and there are a few that I get along with FRICKING well and we are real friends "although" I am 12 years older (pshhhhhhht. Don't tell anyone). And there are those that constantly make me want to kill either them or myself. I don't know the age of most people around here but there is no difference if someone is 35 or 13. It's the opinion they display, the posts they post. It's not about the age of the person sitting behind the screen.

 

Yeah exactly, and something in society says younger people aren't mature enough, or younger/older people shouldn't be friends, but that's why the internet is soo great *hugs internet* we can see what people have to say and not think about who's behind there, or what they look like or whatever. And that's how it should be. And people shouldn't have to feel affraid of or regret sharing simple facts about themselves because it shouldn't change how we see them. It should change how we see the world. (Woah, what happened with my paragraph? ) What I mean is, M4L, I thought you were about 17/18 right until it was your 14th birthday , and I can tell you that doesn't change anything I think about your maturity/opinions.

 

*isn't ignoring you*

 

*ignores you*

 

It was different when I first came here last year. I registered but never really intended to post and then quite a while later I did in anyway. I dont know what and where my first post was (no idea, really) but I remember that one of my first posts was asking for something we are not supposed to ask for and nobody was unfriendly. It's different now with so many "established" members.

But after all: saying that someone is a newbie AFTER being registered for a YEAR - that's just stupid.

 

What did you ask?!

And yeah, it's not newbie. Not that being a newbie should make a difference

 

You didnt only make cents, you made dollars.

 

Crap! I can't believe I spelt it wrong again!

[Kelzy]

OkD Look into my eyes

There is no C in SENSE

[Christine]

But I do think we should remember how public this place is. A Google search for "deek troll Mika" brings up this thread as #1 hit. (and that was before I posted those words repeatedly).

 

But why on earth would any member of the public do a search on "deek troll Mika"? The odds of that happening I'm guessing is nil.

[Oakie Doke]

OkD Look into my eyes

There is no C in SENSE

 

Noncents!! :rolls_eyes:

 

But why on earth would any member of the public do a search on "deek troll Mika"? The odds of that happening I'm guessing is nil.

 

Get with the times! This is how you establish whether you've been talking about something irrelevant too much now-a-days!

[Christine]

Get with the times! This is how you establish whether you've been talking about something irrelevant too much now-a-days!

 

Okay. Just wanted to know what she was getting at.

[Blue Sky]

Sorry Christine maybe that wasn't the best example. Just wanted to illustrate that google is right here with us, tracking us, we are a public place.

[Christine]

Sorry Christine maybe that wasn't the best example. Just wanted to illustrate that google is right here with us, tracking us, we are a public place.

 

There are over a million posts on this forum. All kinds of crazy stuff is going to turn up in searches.

 

MFC reflects real life and real life is not perfect. You don't agree with all 10,000 of your closest acquaintances. You don't get along with some of them. And occassionally you have spats with them.

 

I don't know why there is so much desire on this forum to put on a show to each other and the rest of the world and pretend that we're not normal human beings in a community like any other.

 

People think there is so much confrontation and disrespect going on on MFC, but MFC is a holiday camp compared to the real world. Try queueing up with 100 MFCers morning, noon and night and you'll see more drama, disrespect and aggression in 3 days than has occurred on MFC since its inception.

[im_stuck_in_the_middle]

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

[tauruslady]

Very well said Racha!

MFC needs a new lease of life, thanx for pointing this out:)

 

[Blue Sky]

There are over a million posts on this forum. All kinds of crazy stuff is going to turn up in searches.

 

MFC reflects real life and real life is not perfect. You don't agree with all 10,000 of your closest acquaintances. You don't get along with some of them. And occassionally you have spats with them.

 

I don't know why there is so much desire on this forum to put on a show to each other and the rest of the world and pretend that we're not normal human beings in a community like any other.

 

People think there is so much confrontation and disrespect going on on MFC, but MFC is a holiday camp compared to the real world. Try queueing up with 100 MFCers morning, noon and night and you'll see more drama, disrespect and aggression in 3 days than has occurred on MFC since its inception.

 

I am sure you are right. I almost wish I had that opportunity to fight in the queue though:blink: At least it would mean Mika might appear somewhere near me.

 

I feel like I have been in more hot water tonight than ever before in 16 months on here. The planets must be in bad alignment here in Japan.

[Mika Freaka =)]

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

 

it was a little weird for me as a newbie as well! id open a thread and be kinda intimidated by the conversation thats happening in it, coz its like theyv been chatting forever and im all new and know nothing! i slowly got use to making conversation

[Petra]

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

I don't see you as a not-so-popular user. And your posts were always of such a great English that it took me quite a while to figure out what kind of US-state "Lx, PT" is (none actually but I just found out by clicking on your MySpace link).

[Oakie Doke]

There are over a million posts on this forum. All kinds of crazy stuff is going to turn up in searches.

 

MFC reflects real life and real life is not perfect. You don't agree with all 10,000 of your closest acquaintances. You don't get along with some of them. And occassionally you have spats with them.

 

I don't know why there is so much desire on this forum to put on a show to each other and the rest of the world and pretend that we're not normal human beings in a community like any other.

 

People think there is so much confrontation and disrespect going on on MFC, but MFC is a holiday camp compared to the real world. Try queueing up with 100 MFCers morning, noon and night and you'll see more drama, disrespect and aggression in 3 days than has occurred on MFC since its inception.

 

MFC reflects real life, real life is not perfect, people bully and discriminate in real life, so we should bully and discriminate on MFC?

 

Have you seen people talking about how uncomfortable they feel or have felt on the MFC? *points at Stuckz post*

I don't like it

 

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

 

[Oakie Doke]

I don't see you as a not-so-popular user. And your posts were always of such a great English that it took me quite a while to figure out what kind of US-state "Lx, PT" is (none actually but I just found out by clicking on your MySpace link).

 

Me too! I thought Lx was a US state too! And then I almost asked if they speak Enlgish in Portugal when I just stopped myself realised they really don't

 

But watch it Petra, if you didn't take Humphrey back to Germany I would've thought you were English (You can spell sense better than me afterall)

 

BUT language skills shouldn't matter anyway is the point (*wonders how this became the 'complimenting thread'*)

[Christine]

I feel like I have been in more hot water tonight than ever before in 16 months on here. The planets must be in bad alignment here in Japan.

 

Ah I love you BS. You're never in hot water with me.

 

I don't know if it's cultural differences or just plain personality differences but I find it hard to relate to the need to be politically correct all the time and worrying about Mika's image and the image of MFC to the point of paralysis.

 

I treat people here the same way I do in real life...from getting into a heated debate right down to Photoshopping wizard hats onto Mika's head. You should see the kind of mocking my last bf was subjected to.

 

I wish MFCers could learn to live with those differences and not keep calling everyone out when they encounter personalities they don't mesh with. Before I became a mod, if I didn't understand or like what was going on in a thread I would just go read one of the other hundreds of discussions that suited me. I didn't think it was my duty to tell people how they should be conducting themselves.

[Kelzy]

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

 

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

StuckZ, as I affectionately call her, is one of my most favourite people on MFC. She's smart, has a terrific sense of humour and is very good at getting involved in all types of conversations.

Most of all she willingly talks to me. (That's saying something. )

 

If she leaves, I go too.

[Christine]

MFC reflects real life, real life is not perfect, people bully and discriminate in real life, so we should bully and discriminate on MFC?

 

No but we don't all define bullying and discriminating the same way. This is why we keep going round and round in circles.

 

I would bet that every single member of MFC would stand up and say that they disapprove of or are even totally appalled by bullying and discriminating and yet here we are again talking about the bullying atmosphere on MFC.

 

We can all do our best to be more aware of other people's points of views, but as long as you have this huge disparity in levels of sensitivity to this kind of thing you're always going to have misunderstandings and the potential for hurt feelings, whether it's intended or not.

[Petra]

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

StuckZ, as I affectionately call her, is one of my most favourite people on MFC. She's smart, has a terrific sense of humour and is very good at getting involved in all types of conversations.

Most of all she willingly talks to me. (That's saying something. )

 

If she leaves, I go too.

Who is leaving?

 

And I talk to you as well without having Bianca force me to do so .

 

[sariflor]

There are over a million posts on this forum. All kinds of crazy stuff is going to turn up in searches.

 

MFC reflects real life and real life is not perfect. You don't agree with all 10,000 of your closest acquaintances. You don't get along with some of them. And occassionally you have spats with them.

 

I don't know why there is so much desire on this forum to put on a show to each other and the rest of the world and pretend that we're not normal human beings in a community like any other.

 

People think there is so much confrontation and disrespect going on on MFC, but MFC is a holiday camp compared to the real world. Try queueing up with 100 MFCers morning, noon and night and you'll see more drama, disrespect and aggression in 3 days than has occurred on MFC since its inception.

 

I second that, well expressed.

 

When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context

 

 

I am sorry to hear that you feel that way, but I think that it's a matter of perception and also up to each of us to change this to a certain degree.

When I was a newbie, I didn't post for a very long time, as I was a bit intimidated. Not because anyone had done or said anything, but entirely my thing, I just felt like I didn't know anyone and that sort of stopped me.

Even a month after joining I went to a gig and did not dare approach the MFC'ers (who i recognised from seeing pics here and so) for the same reason.

Then I slowly started getting into chats, and things moved on from there. If I had chosen to remain silent, or thinking that people were being clickey, I would still be in the same situation.

What I am trying to say is that it's up to you to a very large degree to make yourself known and to bond with people. It's like in real life, if you go to a new workplace, or school, anywhere where there is a ready made group: it's mainly up to you to get in there and be active about it.

People here are not trying to be mean and actively going out to "ignore" others so that they can feel bad...They just (naturally) quote the posts that they want to discuss, to agree/disagree, or when they know someone more and they want to chat. Nobody is actively saying "ooh newbie, let me ignore them to make them feel really bad".

As I said though, if one doesn't make an effort and the biggest move, it's not possible to enter an established group. That is just reality, and it's pointless to feel victimised and bullied over it, because it won't resolve anything, and it will only make you feel worse about things.

IMO you would need to change your perception of what is happening and why, and act on it.

 

 

MFC reflects real life, real life is not perfect, people bully and discriminate in real life, so we should bully and discriminate on MFC?

Have you seen people talking about how uncomfortable they feel or have felt on the MFC? *points at Stuckz post*

I don't like it

 

I am sorry, but you can't expect this place to be perfect, like anywhere else won't be.

MFC is already in my eyes far cushier and politically correct than real life is. What else do you want?

 

I really think that that is utopic and as I said above, a lot has to do with people's perceptions and subjective feelings.