racha Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 (edited) Hi everyone, I am a big advocate of tolerance, and although I have tried my best not to get involved, I feel I have no option but voice out my concern and open this thread. Edited November 3, 2008 by racha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 this is why I started my Happy Thread!! Racha..alot of us have been having similar sentiments as of late ! I am tired of it too! Call me Pollyana...but I wish for happiness and joy or at least lack of fear to be one's self. I came here to enjoy myself and meet friends and love the MIKAness! I am always part of this fantastic group and it has saddens me to see the attitudes of late!!! so....I dare you to look at your life! I have chronic illness, in pain often ,, and infections often ,,but I keep on going! does fighting really make sense??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertina Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 i appreciate your good intentions racha, believe me i do. but i'm afraid this thread will start another chain of posts...and we wil get nowhere as always. so, take care hun...and go out to the open air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kata Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Okay, guess I'll just create a new account and get my kicks from trolling the forum. Oh guess that was sarcastic, I'll go shoot myself...oh no I did it again..damn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Exactly... Life is full of drama as is - people come here to chill... and that's how it should be... PS: am sorry to hear about your chronic illness its ok...I am not worried about it! I get massages! :roftl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allegra Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I admire Racha... i can just to reassume what she said more RELAX on the forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 This is just sad that people feel this way I think we need to take a step back and look at this for a rational point of view Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 My call is that I agree to some extent and want to take this offline and look at the MFC to see what we can do , is it strong opinions or is it hidden bullying? Everyone , doesnt matter who it is on the MFC should be able to have a point of view Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violet_sky Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Thank you very much for the guidelines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 whatever it takes to get the friendly mood back virtual tickling???::wub2: how bout that theme song I keep on trying to compose and would love to hear all of you sing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanessa Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I'm with you Racha ! We come here to have some fun not to argue :boxed:cause life is difficult and we have many problems anyway ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 points of view are healthy!! its how we mature and grow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 bullying....and after all MIKA , myself was bullied as a child and youth I certainly don't like witnessing that all over again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elanorelle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I have alopecia ( total hair loss) kids kicked me, stole my wig and threw it in the river,they called me wiggy....stole my lunch ... but now the hair loss I now call Airconditioning gain! LOL and when I get mad , ,my wig usually ends up across the room puts a new twist on tearing my hair out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CazGirl Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 this is what i posted in "that" thread... http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1550052&postcount=2174 racha, you are so wise and mature for a 13 year old! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FREDDIESDOUBLE Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 strong opinions are fun! unfortunately I was referring to hidden and obvious bullying I understand , remember as admin I have to work on facts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cubitus Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Hi everyone, I am a big advocate of tolerance, and although I have tried my best not to get involved, I feel I have no option but voice out my concern and open this thread. There are many people here that I admire.. but there are some people here that are so overwhelmed with the drama.. which turned them into immature, abusive, and arrogant people. Maybe they are going through a “phase” – but in any case, their behavior should not be acceptable. I am not the confrontational type, but I have witnessed it happen a lot lately that I felt the need to open this thread. I am a big fan of sarcasm and intelligent humor, but lately, I have noticed so many people have been using sarcasm and humor to mask bullying and picking on other MFCers. I am surprised that some threads are read by mods that contain offense humor (if you call that humor) and none of them interfered to calm people down. This is not about voicing out your opinion, it is about saying what needs to be said – in a civilized way. I love hearing different points of view, and with every point of view – whether I agree with it or disagree – I have nothing but respect as long as it is voiced out appropriately. Flashing your “knowledge” around newbies (am not referring to Mika info, am talking about making people feel like they are stupid), taking it for granted that you are more of a “senior” and “connected” MFCer just because you were registered earlier or have more friends in this forum does not reflect a “friendly” environment. Everyone should be equally important and have the same rights to express themselves. If you have a college degree, then good for you... just don't make the young ones feel stupid cause they don't have your "knowledge". You have been here for more than a year, good for you, that does not make you a better fan or have more privileges than others. if someone posts something you disagree with, don't accuse them of being stupid and have idol worship "issues", don't attack people on a personal level (whether they are single moms or not - that is none of your business and definitely off limits) Please remember, people come here for social networking, getting updates, and entertainment. Even if they voice out an opinion that we disagree with or has a harsh tone of voice, we should simply guide that person and make them understand that this tone of voice is not acceptable. What I have witnessed is a lot of aggression and lots and lots of unjustifiable drama but worst of all - bullying. I enjoy reading posts by everyone here, from the 13 year old teenager, to the proud mothers, university students, to the career women... the reason why we are here is our admiration for music. We can choose to learn from each other, or advise each other, but that should be a choice that is given. Please feel free to voice out your point of view, but say it respectfully and when using humor, make sure it is not abusive. Being rude is easy but also primitive and disgusting .. I understand that being humble and funny can be challenging for some, just please make the effort... This does not reflect the overall atmosphere here (THANK GOD), but it is becoming an acceptable trend. I hope I did not offend anyone - that is definitely not the intention here... I just want the overall atmosphere to go back to being "friendly" Nicely phrased ! the underlined parts clearly define the situation...But I don't think it'll ever change cuz some people are just like that , it's a part of their personality and I do hope your post won't start another polemic debate about the ''tone in some threads'' and who is wrong and who is right and who supports who etc...anyway it's always good to have threads reminding some fellow MFC about the importance of kindness in discussions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I have to admit that some of the posts at first glance seem quite harsh. I was taken aback:shocked:. But after reading 10 pages before, and ten pages after, and reading them in context, only then can you appreciate where the humour comes from. I think what makes it more challenging for many to understand is some of the inside information () and inside jokes from the past keep resurfacing, that don't seem to make sense for many, so it becomes misconstrued as bullying. If I had not met some of these lovely people in person, I have to admit, that I might also interpret these posts negatively. Perhaps it makes sense to take the banter (when it gets off topic) to another thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBlackQueen Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Thank you for this thread, Racha, it certainly feels so good to read somebody thinks just the way I do. I'm so thankful to your always mature and rational position:wub2: I've been reading those posts you refer to and biting my tongue not to speak, I'm not as brave as you are, you know:wink2:. In fact, for some time now I've been refusing to post my points of view in certain matters just because I was sure I'd get soaked, often by people I can very well called friends. Of course we are all entitled to our own opinions, and nobody loves an argument more than me, but hey, expressing strong opinions and bullying are two very different matters. It just strucks my mind that mods censor words and topics about *chicken* (and indeed they do a great job:thumb_yello:) but allow really nasty remarks against members who differ in their opinions from the 'official' line, whatever that is. I don't like this at all, moreover, for some time now I'm trying to stay only in the threads where I know I find just friends. I'm so sorry if this post will make you angry at me, no offence involved, I really like you so much and hope and pray things will soon go back to the 'friendly' field MFC has been known by from the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexandra26 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Hi Racha, Great tread Nothing to add ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcdeb Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 T This thread is a simple reminder that we need to tolerate other people's opinions in a civilized way, and voiced our own without insulting others in the process I love reading different points of view... all opinions should be voiced, it just needs to be done in a "respectful" way Thanks, Racha. I appreciate that you took the time to start this thread -- and I'm very sad to think you felt you needed to. I'm also a little embarrassed that you think perhaps we mods weren't doing our jobs very well, by allowing some comments that you've perceived as bullying. Although there are 6 of us mods + FD, we can't read every single post, so appreciate when potential trouble spots are pointed out to us. We try very hard to get it right -- that line between free-flowing conversation and moderating discussions is such a fine one. We don't always manage it. But thank you for voicing your feelings -- certainly food for thought. dcdeb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Although there are 6 of us mods + FD, we can't read every single post, so appreciate when potential trouble spots are pointed out to us. It is not only a case of not reading all the threads. We all have differing perspectives on what is offensive and what isn't. The same as Suzy, the context and background affects how I perceive certain posts and I may not find it as alarming as some others...maybe not even the majority of MFC. I try to make myself consciously aware of this fact, but I like to just sit back and enjoy the discussions the same as everyone else from time to time. I am not reading MFC with an eye towards moderating every single moment. There are report post options that will notify every mod and admin if you see something that concerns you. Once we're alerted that a post or posts are of concern to anyone we will be sure to address it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petra Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Hi everyone, I am a big advocate of tolerance, and although I have tried my best not to get involved, I feel I have no option but voice out my concern and open this thread. There are many people here that I admire.. but there are some people here that are so overwhelmed with the drama.. which turned them into immature, abusive, and arrogant people. Maybe they are going through a “phase” – but in any case, their behavior should not be acceptable. I am not the confrontational type, but I have witnessed it happen a lot lately that I felt the need to open this thread. I am a big fan of sarcasm and intelligent humor, but lately, I have noticed so many people have been using sarcasm and humor to mask bullying and picking on other MFCers. I am surprised that some threads are read by mods that contain offense humor (if you call that humor) and none of them interfered to calm people down. This is not about voicing out your opinion, it is about saying what needs to be said – in a civilized way. I love hearing different points of view, and with every point of view – whether I agree with it or disagree – I have nothing but respect as long as it is voiced out appropriately. Flashing your “knowledge” around newbies (am not referring to Mika info, am talking about making people feel like they are stupid), taking it for granted that you are more of a “senior” and “connected” MFCer just because you were registered earlier or have more friends in this forum does not reflect a “friendly” environment. Everyone should be equally important and have the same rights to express themselves. If you have a college degree, then good for you... just don't make the young ones feel stupid cause they don't have your "knowledge". You have been here for more than a year, good for you, that does not make you a better fan or have more privileges than others. if someone posts something you disagree with, don't accuse them of being stupid and have idol worship "issues", don't attack people on a personal level (whether they are single moms or not - that is none of your business and definitely off limits) Please remember, people come here for social networking, getting updates, and entertainment. Even if they voice out an opinion that we disagree with or has a harsh tone of voice, we should simply guide that person and make them understand that this tone of voice is not acceptable. What I have witnessed is a lot of aggression and lots and lots of unjustifiable drama but worst of all - bullying. I enjoy reading posts by everyone here, from the 13 year old teenager, to the proud mothers, university students, to the career women... the reason why we are here is our admiration for music. We can choose to learn from each other, or advise each other, but that should be a choice that is given. Please feel free to voice out your point of view, but say it respectfully and when using humor, make sure it is not abusive. Being rude is easy but also primitive and disgusting .. I understand that being humble and funny can be challenging for some, just please make the effort... This does not reflect the overall atmosphere here (THANK GOD), but it is becoming an acceptable trend. I hope I did not offend anyone - that is definitely not the intention here... I just want the overall atmosphere to go back to being "friendly" As usual Racha - I totally agree. I could in no way agree more. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakie Doke Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I agree 100% with what Racha has said here. I assume we are talking about the Luke leaving the band thread? To the people who have said here that they are shocked anyone feels this way, I have to say you must be completely blind, because that thread is completely FULL of bullying and general unfounded nastiness, and from people you would hope not to see it coming from. Do we need to point out examples? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcdeb Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 To the people who have said here that they are shocked anyone feels this way, I have to say you must be completely blind, because that thread is completely FULL of bullying and general unfounded nastiness, and from people you would hope not to see it coming from. Do we need to point out examples? Who said they were *shocked,* OD? I think just about everyone who posted in this thread so far (Kata excepted) said they agreed with Racha. For the record, the original "Luke is no longer with the band" thread has been closed and a Part 2 started -- we're hoping the thread can get back on topic now. dcdeb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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