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Please stop the bullying

racha

By racha
in General Chin Wagging

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nico_collard

nico_collard

Posted
Posted
Oh trust me, I agree

 

Sarcasm can be unattractive if used...ALL THE TIME...with people actually trying to resolve issues. It's frustrating. The problem, now, is over for me. ( So, I think) and the reason why is simply that I'm not really on here alot anymore.

 

Sad, but true... There's no way, I've discovered, to light a camp fire and force people to be nice. So, we just need to rely on everyone's judgement, and stand back while they make their own decisions to either play nice or bully.

 

*The 'Ignore' button always works*

 

Awwwwww... you get it! (I'm not being sarcastic or mean, it's just... oh, forget it!)

 

I really have caused a stir then!!

 

I just want to clarify and say a few things. I really didn't mean all this to happen and I want to apologise for any part I may have inadvertently played in this situation. I also appreciate the PM's which has brought me back to here...

 

I do find it hilarious regarding my "identity"! When I join a forum I never add any details (since we are always warned about identity theft etc) and just ignored all the gaps to fill... including (to my detriment) the section on "gender"! Well I've fixed that! :naughty:

Sometimes I wish I was male! And played bass and was called "Mikey"! (poor guy's gonna get booed and wont know why!! :boxed:). Funny reading back I may have come to the same conclusion! To add I also posted when saranayde was "attacked" and someone thought I was her as well I believe! :wink2::roftl:

 

So I havent introduced myself right?

 

Ok my name IS Jennie! (I don't do surnames on the internet btw!) I AM a mom of 2. I did breast feed! I'm not on forums alot but enjoy reading posts but have even less time to post... but kids on holiday with ex right now! I LOVE Mika's music and been to 1 performance... yes with the kids!! Oh yes... part time researcher on a well known media magazine specializing in music... I'm also too old to be offended... for too long! :naughty:

 

Apologies if I dont post too often but trying to lead by example and not spend too much free time on the internet!

 

Time for bed!

 

OL

 

PS "OhhLookie" is a catchphrase by Frankie Howerd!!!

 

Welcome! I've never seen you around before! If you like pointless convo feel free to come to the Aussie thread!

 

Oh, well thanks for giving us more info, Lookie! I hope you take a "lookie" around the other threads and find ones that a tad less dramatic and emotion-charged to post in. :thumb_yello: As you may know, if you're been looking around here for a year, we have plenty of lighter threads--and plenty of threads just to discuss Mika, in the Talk About Mika section! If you're a serious-minded fan, it would be great to have your insight on the lyrics, for example... that's a great section that's sadly not as popular as it should be.

 

Anyway, I daresay like many forums we tend to "haze" newbies sometimes... people were indeed a bit shocked at your abrupt arrival, but if you stay around, you may find people have started warming up already, and you'll soon make plenty of friends.:welcomeani:

 

--Jack

 

That sounds like an ad...

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calicojasmine

calicojasmine

Posted
Posted

Okay Guys! Stop! My turn now:

 

I've read 98% of this thread, reflecting on the differing points and opinions.... I have some pretty strong feelings, and I certainly do not want to minimize anyone else's convictions. I would also like to add that I really hope that in the course of the last year+ I have not been perceived to have insulted/abused/bullied anyone, as that would be the very last thing I would have intended. I make it a personal commitment to speak from my heart and soul; I do not play games, and being a victim of abuse/bullying myself, I do not take any of this lightly.

 

Believe it or not, I feel for EVERYONE here... I believe everybody has a right to express their views as well as to be fairly heard in this forum. Feelings should always be considered. The truth should always be expressed. You know the expression - "Do unto others........." Well, there you go. Simple stuff, right?

 

But I have to also say - People! Take a chill pill! Are we mistaking some careless posting for the real offender - "Bullying"? "Abuse"???? Yes, feelings get hurt... egos get a little trampled...... but can you really put all this in the same context as the children who are battered and women who are victims of domestic violence?

 

Again, I must stress... I do NOT mean to minimize ANYONE'S feelings here... I give kudos to all who have had the courage to come forward and air their grievances in this disturbing manner. But I also would like to disclose a part of me that is so close, so hidden and disturbed. And I do this simply for the sake of perhaps helping one of you...... I have been a victim of bullying/abuse since I was in utero. There was family violence, domestic violence (when I was married) and many medical misdiagnoses.... I will lose my life because of this. I am bleeding out as we speak. Every day I get weaker. I'm not holding a Pity Party, only asking to see this issue in it's proper perspective. I don't take one day at a time, I take one second at a time.

 

What I'm trying to say here is - life is too short. We pass this way only once. Therefore we need to make the time that we do have here really count. I try to see the humor in everything; I love Mika's music more than ever; I stop to smell the roses every chance I get..... I'm attempting to let go of all my anger and let everyone I care about how much they mean to me. And if someone pisses me off.... well...... I'm trying to get over that too.........

 

I do NOT mean to sound "holier than thou" - I heard that loud and clear in the beginning of this thread, and, believe me, that is the farthest thing from my mind. But I do have the benefit of experience....... if not the luxury of time.

 

To everyone........... I wish all the best life has to offer......

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babspanky

babspanky

Posted
Posted
Okay Guys! Stop! My turn now:

 

I do NOT mean to sound "holier than thou" - I heard that loud and clear in the beginning of this thread, and, believe me, that is the farthest thing from my mind. But I do have the benefit of experience....... if not the luxury of time.

 

To everyone........... I wish all the best life has to offer......

 

You don't.

Thanks for another sensible perspective.

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calicojasmine

calicojasmine

Posted
Posted
Hi calicojasmine

 

Thank you so much for your post.. there are many things you have pointed out that I completely agree with you...

 

but first...

 

I am so sorry for all the "real life" abuse that you went through and all the injustice (all the horrible things that happened to you)... It must have been really hard... and I really admire your positive approach to it all... it saddens me to hear your story... usually, not many stories out there touch me emotionally...I do not take any type of abuse lightly... especially REAL one..

 

I agree with you, the level of "abuse" and "bullying" that was being described.. is the "INTERNET" type.. and in no way close to the real deal!

 

yes, it was probably painful and emotionally stressful to the people who were subjected to it.. but in no way put in the same category as domestic violence and child abuse!! and to be very honest, I am shocked that anyone would think I have put them on the same level.... this would be extreemly irresponsible and horrible to the victims of REAL abuse..

 

I want to clarify this again and again... my point was never to put abusive posts on the same level as hitting a person or torturing a child! that would be plain stupid and illogical..

 

it was merely a reminder to people to tone down their aggression.. cause whatever they were doing was hurtful... I think message is there for people to either accept it and take it at face value.. or go on doing what they usually do... but at least for those who felt left out.. now they know that others have witnessed it and did not find it cool.

 

your post mentioned something every interesting... the parallel between REAL life and the MFC... and I would like to share MPOV

 

I like the MFC.. and I enjoy posting in a few threads... and have been in touch with many lovely people... it has been nothing but a pleasurable online fun... some of which I have actually met in REAL life...

 

but...

 

is it in anyway close to my real life?... no.

does it occupy any major importance in my real life, no.

do i take things as seriously here as real life, definitely not

and to be very honest, with all the love that I have for the people here.. are they really my REAL friends....also no!

 

they are amazing fun people that I have something in common with.. we socialize online when we have some free time on our hand in our real life...

 

we all have a packed real life that is full of real things... and real people .. with real emotions.. .and in no way a forum (at least in my case) will be close to anything to real life)

 

I am not undermining the MFC... but fair is fair.. and a forum is just a forum...

 

one last thing, I admire your courage.. and bless you for opening up... I wish you all the best..:huglove:

 

Thanks, racha, points very well taken.......

 

I totally agree with you - there are different levels of abuse ad bullying - all I am trying to do is remind people to sit back, take a deep breath and perhaps indulge in a wake up call or three..... I know I have to do it every now and again (more often than not!) In fact, when I start getting morose about my own situation it helps me to sit back and remember the AIDS patients I used to help as a medical social worker..... it is humbling when one realizes that there are truly those who are worse off than you....

There is an expression: "I cried because I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet."

Truly. My father used to say that. He is the dearly departed, had a terrible, horrific death. However I digress.

I know you mean well, and absolutely respect your opinion and courage in posting your thoughts and convictions. I am merely offering a different point of view. For whatever it's worth, for however long I can hold it.

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Kata

Kata

Posted
Posted
your post mentioned something every interesting... the parallel between REAL life and the MFC... and I would like to share MPOV

 

I like the MFC.. and I enjoy posting in a few threads... and have been in touch with many lovely people... it has been nothing but a pleasurable online fun... some of which I have actually met in REAL life...

 

but...

 

is it in anyway close to my real life?... no.

does it occupy any major importance in my real life, no.

do i take things as seriously here as real life, definitely not

and to be very honest, with all the love that I have for the people here.. are they really my REAL friends....also no!

 

they are amazing fun people that I have something in common with.. we socialize online when we have some free time on our hand in our real life...

 

we all have a packed real life that is full of real things... and real people .. with real emotions.. .and in no way a forum (at least in my case) will be close to anything to real life)

 

I am not undermining the MFC... but fair is fair.. and a forum is just a forum...

Well racha, this is real life for me! Last year I spent pretty much all my vacation on Mika gigs. I spent pretty much every night on the MFC - this is my life! Am I then a sad loser with no real friends? No I'm certainly not! I have plenty of friends and I am in no way ashamed of having met a lot of them through MFC :mf_rosetinted: Actually - apparantly opposed to other working single mothers - I find that I have a lot of time to spend on internet forums, since I can't leave my appartment after 8 PM and I often find myself sitting at home on a saturday night when everyone else is out partying. This has been a brilliant way for me to meet new friends :mf_rosetinted:

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calicojasmine

calicojasmine

Posted
Posted
Well racha, this is real life for me! Last year I spent pretty much all my vacation on Mika gigs. I spent pretty much every night on the MFC - this is my life! Am I then a sad loser with no real friends? No I'm certainly not! I have plenty of friends and I am in no way ashamed of having met a lot of them through MFC :mf_rosetinted: Actually - apparantly opposed to other working single mothers - I find that I have a lot of time to spend on internet forums, since I can't leave my appartment after 8 PM and I often find myself sitting at home on a saturday night when everyone else is out partying. This has been a brilliant way for me to meet new friends :mf_rosetinted:

 

I know how that can be... I'm home a lot, too. 'Way too sick to go out.... my computer is my window to the world..... MFC was really a godsend last year....

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Kata

Kata

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I know how that can be... I'm home a lot, too. 'Way too sick to go out.... my computer is my window to the world..... MFC was really a godsend last year....

 

Sorry I didn't react to your previous posts, but I'm really terrible with all this emotional stuff so I tend to not respond to it :blush-anim-cl: It must be horrible to not be able to go out when you want to :boxed: It's quite admirable that you just find a way to get on anyway though :thumb_yello:

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calicojasmine

calicojasmine

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Posted
Sorry I didn't react to your previous posts, but I'm really terrible with all this emotional stuff so I tend to not respond to it :blush-anim-cl: It must be horrible to not be able to go out when you want to :boxed: It's quite admirable that you just find a way to get on anyway though :thumb_yello:

 

Yeah, I have a couple of expressions:

 

"Life sucks and then you die". :wink2:

"That which doesn't kill you makes you crazy".:naughty:

 

It also helps to have a great trauma therapist!!! LOL!:roftl:

 

Seriously, though, I guess I have a helluva lot of experience dealing with hardship and trauma.... and I'm incredibly stubborn.... refuse to go down without a fight.... they're gonna drag me out kicking and screaming! LOL!:roftl:

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Tanya K

Tanya K

Posted
Posted
Hi everyone, I am a big advocate of tolerance, and although I have tried my best not to get involved, I feel I have no option but voice out my concern and open this thread.

 

There are many people here that I admire.. :wub2:

 

but there are some people here that are so overwhelmed with the drama.. which turned them into immature, abusive, and arrogant people. Maybe they are going through a “phase” – but in any case, their behavior should not be acceptable. I am not the confrontational type, but I have witnessed it happen a lot lately that I felt the need to open this thread.

 

I am a big fan of sarcasm and intelligent humor, but lately, I have noticed so many people have been using sarcasm and humor to mask bullying and picking on other MFCers. I am surprised that some threads are read by mods that contain offense humor (if you call that humor) and none of them interfered to calm people down. This is not about voicing out your opinion, it is about saying what needs to be said – in a civilized way.

 

I love hearing different points of view, and with every point of view – whether I agree with it or disagree – I have nothing but respect as long as it is voiced out appropriately.

 

Flashing your “knowledge” around newbies (am not referring to Mika info, am talking about making people feel like they are stupid), taking it for granted that you are more of a “senior” and “connected” MFCer just because you were registered earlier or have more friends in this forum does not reflect a “friendly” environment. Everyone should be equally important and have the same rights to express themselves.

 

If you have a college degree, then good for you... just don't make the young ones feel stupid cause they don't have your "knowledge". You have been here for more than a year, good for you, that does not make you a better fan or have more privileges than others. if someone posts something you disagree with, don't accuse them of being stupid and have idol worship "issues", don't attack people on a personal level (whether they are single moms or not - that is none of your business and definitely off limits)

 

 

Please remember, people come here for social networking, getting updates, and entertainment. Even if they voice out an opinion that we disagree with or has a harsh tone of voice, we should simply guide that person and make them understand that this tone of voice is not acceptable. What I have witnessed is a lot of aggression and lots and lots of unjustifiable drama but worst of all - bullying.

 

I enjoy reading posts by everyone here, from the 13 year old teenager, to the proud mothers, university students, to the career women... the reason why we are here is our admiration for music. We can choose to learn from each other, or advise each other, but that should be a choice that is given. Please feel free to voice out your point of view, but say it respectfully and when using humor, make sure it is not abusive.

 

Being rude is easy but also primitive and disgusting .. I understand that being humble and funny can be challenging for some, just please make the effort...

 

This does not reflect the overall atmosphere here (THANK GOD), but it is becoming an acceptable trend.

 

I hope I did not offend anyone - that is definitely not the intention here... I just want the overall atmosphere to go back to being "friendly"

 

Hi Racha!

 

As usual a great, well thought out and sensitive response....and once again I agree 100%:wub2:

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dilek

dilek

Posted
Posted
Wow a thread inspired by me?! I'm honoured!!

 

I'm starting to get the humour of this place... somewhat!!! :mf_rosetinted:

 

I'll "troll" back after I finish playing my bass guitar and try and inspire another one! :biggrin2::sweatdrop::harp::mfr_lol:

 

OL

 

yaaay!

 

that's the spirit:roftl:

 

:thumb_yello:

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sariflor

sariflor

Posted
Posted
Wow a thread inspired by me?! I'm honoured!! :roftl:

 

I'm starting to get the humour of this place... somewhat!!! :mf_rosetinted:

 

I'll "troll" back after I finish playing my bass guitar and try and inspire another one! :biggrin2:

 

OL

 

Yeah, I bet you will! :mf_rosetinted: But are the weekends not "off days" though? You could probably sit here aaaaal day, trolling away...:naughty:

So, I guess you're loving the limelight then?

Remember to make the most of it though, fame can be quite short lived on MFC:bleh: and today's news becomes tomorrow's toilet paper as they say:roftl:.

 

 

 

 

 

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babspanky

babspanky

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Posted
Wow a thread inspired by me?! I'm honoured!! :roftl::punk:

 

I'm starting to get the humour of this place... somewhat!!! :mf_rosetinted:

 

I'll "troll" back after I finish playing my bass guitar and try and inspire another one! :biggrin2::sweatdrop::harp:

 

You should join us in the apples then! Anyone who appreciates proper humour is welcome there! :wink2:

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babspanky

babspanky

Posted
Posted
Now that would be quite the feat, getting certain people to post in that thread!:thumb_yello::wink2:

 

We can but try! I do get very tired of the insinuations that we are less than welcoming there, when you and I both know the apples contain some of the sweetest yet most honest (in their opinions), MFCers there are.

So OL (and anyone else) if you want more honest conversation and less sycophantic slavering, the apples is the place for you!

Oh yes!

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im_stuck_in_the_middle

im_stuck_in_the_middle

Posted
Posted
it was a little weird for me as a newbie as well! id open a thread and be kinda intimidated by the conversation thats happening in it, coz its like theyv been chatting forever and im all new and know nothing! i slowly got use to making conversation
Glad you're better now:wub2: It's OK to only participate in some threads :)

 

I don't see you as a not-so-popular user. :hulove: And your posts were always of such a great English that it took me quite a while to figure out what kind of US-state "Lx, PT" is (none actually :blnk: but I just found out by clicking on your MySpace link).
Aaw Petra! I wub you! Thank you, your posts are great too!

He he, I'll have to change that location thingie! Any suggestions?:naughty:

PS. Anyone who wants to add me on MySpace, can*wink2*

 

Have you seen people talking about how uncomfortable they feel or have felt on the MFC? *points at Stuckz post*

I don't like it :sd: :boed:

Did it happen to you too?:(

Maybe "throwing" isn't the right word... but when I joined, that comprehensive FAQ we see near the UserCP didn't exist, glad it does now *original*

 

am sorry to hear about that! it is not funny.
Thanks Racha :)I hopeno more newbies are in doubt, as we have the new FAQ!

 

Me too! I thought Lx was a US state too! :h: And then I almost asked if they speak Enlgish in Portugal when I just stopped myself realised they really don't :rftl:
Aaw, sorry, I'm gonna change that now*blush-anim-cl**naughty*

 

 

 

BUT language skills shouldn't matter anyway is the point :naugty: (*wonders how this became the 'complimenting thread'*)
http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7525&highlight=thank+you+mfcers+thread

 

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

StuckZ, as I affectionately call her, is one of my most favourite people on MFC. She's smart, has a terrific sense of humour and is very good at getting involved in all types of conversations.

Most of all she willingly talks to me. (That's saying something. :naughty: )

 

If she leaves, I go too.

:hulove:

:tears: You is making me cry!

 

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCMENT

 

Kelzy, aka Melzy, Schmelzy, Mrs Vox, Foxy Voxy, MJV, and whatever else I dare to add when quoting her posts :P is the one of the COOLEST AND NICEST Aussies ever, along with the other Aussies!!!

Her sense of humour is genuine, and she makes me wanna move to Oz!!!

I really need to visit AMF now!

If she goes, I'll only visit AMF *mf_rosetinted*

 

*looks around*

Yep, this is the 'complimenting each other' thread. :nauhty:

 

http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7525&highlight=thank+you+mfcers+thread *punk*

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Blue Sky

Blue Sky

Posted
Posted
We can but try! I do get very tired of the insinuations that we are less than welcoming there, when you and I both know the apples contain some of the sweetest yet most honest (in their opinions), MFCers there are.

So OL (and anyone else) if you want more honest conversation and less sycophantic slavering, the apples is the place for you!

Oh yes!

 

 

Yes, the apples are very welcoming. But they *do* slap you if you sycophantically slaver over anyone on that thread. I know, I tried.:mf_rosetinted::biggrin2:

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